Chapter 5

Belladonna: Silence.

Bittersweet: Truth.

Camellia: Longing for you (pink); You're a flame in my heart (red); You're adorable (white).

Carnation: Alas my poor heart (red); Innocence, pure love (white); I'll never forget you (pink)

Gardenia: You're lovely; Secret love.

Forget-me-not: True love memories; Do not forget me.

Sweet pea: Blissful pleasures; Goodbye; Thank you for a lovely time

Marinette tapped her pencil against her forehead. She had come up with a new concept for her collection, something more tangible and real than the airiness of her original idea. Each dress would be tied to a different flower, delicately embroidered and patterned, just as Adrien's waistcoat had been that night.

I need three more to reach ten… The collection was meant to represent her, what was happening. She looked back at the flower meanings almanac pulled up on her laptop and then jotted down three more.

Rose, dark crimson: Mourning.

Cyclamen: Resignation; Diffidence; Goodbye.

Columbine: Foolishness, folly; Resolution (purple); Anxious, trembling (red).

A whole story was laid out in front of her. Hope, grief, and love in a subtle pattern of florals. Taking a pair of scissors, she cut each flower and its corresponding definition into a label and pinned it to the cork board next to her table. She spaced them out leaving plenty of room. Then she sat back down and sketched.

She started with the women's outfits. A white dress, sleeveless and with a high neck for Belladonna. A pure black pant suit with a lining and crop top of Carnations. A sky blue minidress textured Cyclamen sprouting from the skirt. A halter top with fabric of deep crimson, draped to resemble petals over white pants. A short yellow dress with a large overskirt and train patterned in blue Forget-Me-Nots.

Five sheets of paper were pinned to the board under their corresponding titles. The other five were left blank. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Marinette grabbed her belongings and made for the door. She had sat motionless for almost two hours that morning after Adrien had left, then worked on her new collection for several hours after. It was now almost 5pm and she had yet to eat anything other than her morning croissant. Her back ached from sitting in that room for so long. She stretched her arms overhead as she trudged down all four flights of stairs, breathing in deeply when she exited into the outside air.

It was a short bike ride home, during which she made a decision. I have to tell Alya something. I need someone on my side who'll understand.

Alya was seated upon the couch, typing away at her laptop. At hearing the door open, she shot up from her seat and came to greet her roommate. She stopped short, the smile dropping from her face when she saw Marinette cross the threshold with downcast eyes.

"Marinette…you okay girl?"

"We…we need to talk. Something happened at the party."

"Is this about that guy?" She looked suddenly apprehensive. "I thought you said what happened was good?"

"It was good. Amazing honestly. It's just that today I learned something new about that encounter. I learned something new about how he felt about that night."

"I don't understand, I thought he was a stranger. Did you meet up with him? Did he say something?"

"He wasn't exactly a stranger…"

"Well, who was it?!" Alya exclaimed, throwing her hands up. Marinette was quiet for a moment, her head angling down so that her bangs would shield her eyes.

"Adrien…" she whispered almost inaudibly.

Alya blinked a few times, her face a myriad of emotions ranging from joy to bewilderment. "Adrien had sex with you?!"

"Well that's the thing… I had sex with Adrien, but Adrien didn't have sex with me."

Hands clamped down on both of Marinette's cheeks and pulled her face level with her roommate's. "What on Earth does that even mean? If you had sex with Adrien, then he had sex with you. That's like a math property."

"Yes I had sex with Adrien. It's just that…he doesn't know he had sex with me."

"How could he not know he had sex with you?"

"I don't know, but when I saw him this morning…" Her voice wavered, her throat thick with tears. Alya hugged her friend close. Tears began to trickle down Marinette's face as she rested her chin on her taller friend's shoulder. "But this morning…" she choked out once more, "this morning he didn't even realize I had been at the party."

Alya didn't say anything just held her friend closer and waited. It took a few minutes of uncomfortable silence broken by sobs for Marinette to be ready enough to talk. "Some part of me was ready for him to ask me out. I mean with that announcement and everything…Another part of me, middle school me, was ready to just treasure that moment and move on like it never happened. I was ready for him to say we were better as friends. I wasn't ready for him to not even recognize me!" By this point Marinette had pulled away just a bit. Her eyes were still lowered but her brows were furrowed in anger and confusion.

"So what does this mean? What are you going to do? I mean…Adrien has been your goal for so long. I know" a pointed look at her friend "I know that you've tried to move past your crush in the last few years, but he's always been the person you wanted. Is this your chance to get what you want?"

"Last night felt like a dream. I felt like me but not. I had so much confidence in just following the situation and seeing what happened. But now I'm petrified to say anything. Words came so easily behind the mask!"

"Okay, answer one thing for me. Don't think about anything else, just gut reaction. Okay?" Alya looked into her eyes and held both of Marinette's shoulders. She waited for her friend to nod before asking "Do you love Adrien?"

"Yes." The answer erupted from her mouth. Her Tether hummed with the truth of it.

"Okay well that's a starting point. You love him. Now second question. Do you want to be with him?"

"More than anything."

"Final question, I mean it for real this time. How should we handle tonight? You don't need to decide what to do with the rest of your life right now, but you do need to decide how you're going to let this situation affect game night."

"I can't tell him tonight" Marinette blurted with wide eyes. "I definitely can't tell him tonight. It's too soon, I'm not prepared!"

"And that's okay!" Alya frantically interjected. "We don't have to say a word. But if we're not going to say anything, then we need to get you cleaned up. You look really depressing honestly, and Adrien may be more oblivious than I previously thought possible, but he would ask about that." Marinette's mouth crooked up in a half hearted smirk at the truth of her disheveled status.

"I think…I think I'm gonna go take a shower and freshen up."

Marinette extricated herself and headed for her room. She couldn't help but mull over the situation, and she kept coming back to one thought. Am I ready to make a decision? I was so ready this morning to leave my fate to Adrien's whim. Why? She didn't have an answer. She didn't have an answer later that night when Adrien and Nino arrived.

They played video games and sipped on wine courtesy of Adrien. Marinette managed to beat everyone else with a wide enough margin that the boys didn't suspect a thing. It helped that as always Alya and Nino sat in the middle of their configuration and she and Adrien were on opposite sides. It was a tactic that Marinette had begun employing after she was ready to move on from her 'crush.' It had always best to be close but not too close, but tonight she wanted to be as far away as possible.

When the night came to a close, Alya and Nino kissed and embraced. Adrien turned to Marinette and leaned in. Just like I did last night. He kissed one cheek, pulled back, then kissed the other. Or not like last night. I'm just a friend to him. "I hope you have better luck with your designs after this morning. Just let me know when you need me in for a fitting." And then he was gone with Nino behind him.

Marinette helped Alya rinse the glasses and tidy up, then hugged her and wordlessly went to her room. Why am I just a friend to him? How has he never noticed? How could I have a Tether for him, and he not have one for me?

I can't just be his friend. I have to tell him.