Force Dyad
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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter.
Chapter Five-Desperation
The future was always something Ben had worried about. He felt like he was drifting, with one monotonous day following another. He found as time passed, his relationship with his uncle grew more contentious. As Ben's unrest grew, he became melancholic at having nothing to aim for except to follow Skywalker's lead. Though he had admiration for his uncle as a teacher, Ben was becoming increasingly certain that Skywalker was holding him back in his evolution as a Jedi for reasons he couldn't fully explain or understand. The whispering voice in the back of his mind tormented him with the same narrative, twisting his own thoughts, and insinuating that Skywalker only saw him as a rebellious child and didn't want him to reach his full potential.
Ben was also becoming increasingly isolated from the other students. His one-sided rivalry with Voe was wearing him down. He didn't care about the girl; it was her own jealousy and envy of his Force abilities that drove her to be so mean and confrontational. She seemed to get smug satisfaction at seeing him in trouble. Which was often these days. She often manipulated his disagreements with his uncle to paint herself in a good light. When Ben pointed this out to Skywalker, he just received the usual lectures about patience and understanding.
The only one he had any affinity for was Tai. Tai was another one of Skywalker's apprentices. He had a more open mindset than the others and sensed Ben's inner struggles and how much he hid about himself from the others around him. Tai made it his mission to reach out to Ben. One day, after being on the receiving end of another confrontation with Voe, Tai approached Ben, expressing his sympathy. For the first time Ben found himself opening up a little about his feelings of isolation. He and Tai talked about his decision to hide so much about himself. When Ben told him that he did so because of the pressures of living up to his family's legacy, Tai assured him that he needed to be who he really was and that he wasn't as bad as he thought. Slightly comforted, Ben asked him if he was really sure about his words, leading Tai to reiterate that he shouldn't be afraid of what other people thought about him and just be himself, and the rest would follow.
Ben hoped this was true, but as more time passed and nothing in his life really changed, those hopes waned. The only bright spot in his life was the time he spent with Rey. She remained his anchor, and brought him a sense of comfort and peace that he found nowhere else. With her, he didn't feel the need to hide, there was no judgement, no expectation, he could just be. Ben lived for those quiet moments when she would randomly appear. Sometimes they did nothing but sit together while he read to her. Rey loved the sound of his voice and would remain transfixed as he spoke, not moving until he reached the end of the tale. Other times were spent on schooling. By the time Rey turned four years old she was already a fluent reader. Ben didn't stop there, he taught her to write, wanting to share his old-fashioned love of calligraphy with her. The first time she learned to write her name by herself was a joyous occasion. Ben didn't think he would ever forget the way her lips lifted upward, her cute dimples crinkling as she smiled, blossoming under his praise. It made him wonder if her parents ever took time to praise her achievements much.
Ben taught Rey more practical stuff too. He used a datapad to show her the schematics of his starship-Grimtaash. He gave her an in-depth explanation of the propulsion system he'd built as well as the weaponry he'd added. She was endlessly fascinated with all the engine parts he described, listening eagerly as he went into great detail about what each part was for. He even went so far as to show her an old engine. He stripped it down for parts, laid all the pieces out on the hut's stone floor, and made a game of getting her to repeat the names of the parts back to him. Rey was such a quick learner and Ben was an eager teacher.
"One day I'll teach you to pilot Grimtaash." He said.
Rey's smile was one of happiness growing. "Promise?"
"I promise." Ben replied solemnly.
Ben's fifteenth birthday passed with the usual brief acknowledgement from his parents. Han, now the owner of a shipping company and a successful racing pilot, dropped in to see Ben on his way to Corellia to compete in The Gauntlet. As Ben listened to Han talk about his excitement for the race, he wondered why his father got to live out his dreams and he didn't. He held onto a vague hope that Han would invite him to become part of the team. He would have loved to have been able to share in his father's passion for racing. But as usual Ben was left feeling disappointed. Han left with his usual 'make sure to mind Uncle Luke' and that was that.
It wasn't long though before he forgot his disappointment in Han. Soon he had something much more serious to worry about. Rey was getting very thin again. When she appeared, she was often tired and listless. Ben took to stealing extra portions from the canteen so he could feed her. But unfortunately, Voe caught him in the act of taking food and went straight to Skywalker. His uncle's punishment was swift, not only were his privileges revoked for the umpteenth time but he restricted Ben's access to Grimtaash. Ben was outraged, his starship was his only route to freedom. Bitterness consumed him as he stormed out of the Jedi temple and returned to his hut, quietly fuming. He was determined to get back at Voe for her continued interference.
Now his access to extra food had been cut off, Ben was reduced to saving his own portions for Rey. The problem was she didn't appear on a regular basis. Days could pass before he would see her again, and in that time, she had dropped more weight. He didn't understand what the hell her parents were doing to let her almost starve. Ben was angry at them. Angry at Skywalker. Angry at his parents. Angry at Voe. Angry at the whole kriffing galaxy. He wished he knew where Rey actually was, he would travel to the far ends of the galaxy to rescue her. He tried to get her to open up, but like always she clammed up, mumbling 'secret.'
Ben woke up one morning to a heavy downpour. With a sense of foreboding he stepped outside. The water washed over his skin so strongly that it felt as if he was in the flow of a river rather than a rain shower. The icy grey sky restlessly grumbled. The thick blackened clouds were dragged down by the heavy rain which it held in its delicate frame. The cold icy water droplets pierced Ben's pale and wet skin. He ran across the slippery path toward the Jedi temple, his posture weakened by the weight of his soaked clothes. The quality of darkness shifted in the sky but the rain kept pouring. The harsh rain obliterated the crystal reflection of the sky and turned it into a disorientated chaos, a reflection of the chaos going on inside Ben's mind.
After drying off as much as possible, Ben was the last to arrive at the day's training session. He endured the usual dark glares from the other students as he took his place beside Tai. Tai gave him a sympathetic glance and was about to whisper something to Ben, when he was called forward by Skywalker to compete against Hennix in a sparring contest. As Ben watched the two apprentices engage with each other, his mind began to drift. He was so worried about Rey's welfare that his stomach was in knots. He had awoken that morning to find his bed sheets twisted in a knot and aside from a few fit-full half hours of vivid dreams, he hadn't slept a wink. His brain was constantly searching for a solution to the problem, but he kept coming up empty. Unless she told him where she was, he couldn't help her more than he was doing already. HIs stomach shifted again uneasily and he noticed that his hands were actually shaking. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Voe smirking at him and he felt his anger begin to rise.
"Excellent performance, Tai." Skywalker's calm voice broke through Ben's ravaged thoughts. It seemed Tai had won this bout. "Better luck next time, Hennix. Go back to your places, so the next pair can take their turn." Skywalker's eyes landed on his nephew. "Ben, will you step forward, please."
Ben felt the spotlight on him as he did as his uncle requested. He wondered who his opponent was going to be. He had bested the others many times before. He kept his face a mask of indifference as he looked around at the other students. That was until Skywalker announced the name of his sparring partner.
"Voe, will you step forward, please."
"Yes, Master Skywalker." Voe replied ingratiatingly as she moved forward to stand opposite Ben.
Ben glared at his uncle, knowing that Skywalker had chosen Voe deliberately to test him. "No. Anyone but her." He protested.
Voe glared at him, but Ben continued to ignore her. His attention was solely on his uncle.
Skywalker frowned. "You are in no position to pick and choose, Ben. Take your places." He ordered both of them.
"Afraid you're going to lose to a girl?" Voe jeered in an attempt to provoke him.
"We'll see." Ben retorted as he took a defensive stance and reached for his saber.
Ben was quick to parry Voe's ever more desperate strikes. They had been sparring frantically for twenty minutes and already she was dripping with sweat and tiring. She held her humming green blade in front of her; a perfect undaunted horizon, always levelled with the nose, just as she been taught. She circled Ben, impatiently waiting for his attack, and getting frustrated when he just stood there watching her with a bored expression. She gritted her teeth and charged him, slashing wildly with her saber. Ben deflected her blade easily and used the Force to sweep her off her feet. Voe let out an unladylike grunt as she rolled over and quickly regained her footing. Her pretty features twisted into a furious scowl as she rushed Ben again. He easily avoided her desperate swing and tripped her up as she passed. As far was he was concerned the fight was over. Even before his uncle called it, Ben shut down his shimmering blue blade and made to walk away when suddenly his ears were filled with the sound of Rey's desperate cries.
"Wait! Don't leave me! Come back!"
Rey appeared before him bathed in a halo of light. She was in a state of high distress. One thin arm was held up at an awkward angle as if someone was holding it in a painfully tight grip. Her hazel eyes were filled with tears. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. Ben rushed over to her, forgetting that everyone else around him wouldn't be able to see her. He fell to his knees, one hand held out toward her.
"Rey, tell me where you are?" He pleaded. "Tell me so I can come find you."
Rey's head turned at the sound of his voice, her hazel eyes were glassy with tears. "Ben." She sobbed. "Help me."
"I will. But you need to tell me where you are, Rey." Ben could hear his own heart pounding in his ears, blocking out everything else going on around him. Nothing and no else existed in that moment but them. "Where are you?"
"I…" Rey's terrified response was cut off as whoever had hold of her, shook her slight frame roughly.
Then suddenly Ben saw her being dragged away. He called out to her, a blind rage coursing through him toward the person who dared hurt her. He would kill them. He would….
"Ben!" Rey screamed. "Ben…. Jakku…."
Then Ben was running. Running so fast that he hardly heard the concerned cries of Skywalker and the other students in the background. Breathing steady, heart strong-he headed straight for Grimtaash.
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.
