A/N: This story is based on the television series, Star Trek: Voyager, which, as far as I know, is the property of Paramount Pictures, and it is partially inspired by the Jeff Foxworthy song, Big Ol' Moon. No infringement is intended.

Big Ol' Moon

As twenty-six-year-old Lieutenant Naomi Wildman just stared up at the stars in the night sky of Mars, lying in the arms of her new husband, Icheb, she knew life couldn't possibly get any more perfect. Naomi had been born on the starship, Voyager, as its crew made the seventy-five-year trip back to their homeworld of Earth on the opposite side of the galaxy. Even after twenty-six years, they were still thousands of light-years away from home, but that was perfectly fine with Naomi and Icheb because, unlike most of the crew, they had never seen Earth. To them, Voyager was their home, and it always would be. And despite the fact that Icheb was fourteen years Naomi's senior, they were very much in love with each other. They'd begun dating three years earlier, and now that they were finally married, they were happier than they'd ever been in their entire lives. They had wed eight days earlier, and now, they were enjoying their honeymoon in a simulation of Mars on Holodeck Two.

"Icheb, did you ever imagine that life could be as wonderful as this?" asked the lovely, half-human, half-Ktarian redhead.

"No, I didn't," Icheb replied truthfully with a big smile. "I never imagined life could be this great, especially after everything my parents put me through with the Borg."

"I can't even begin to imagine how much it must have hurt to be so deeply betrayed by your own parents. To have a mother and a father who cared so little about you that they would actually be willing to end your life just so they could use you as a weapon against the Borg. I understand them wanting to strike back against the Borg, but it is beyond sick to sacrifice your own child to accomplish that. I know it still hurts you to this very day."

Icheb solemnly nodded and said, "Yeah, it's true. There are some wounds that simply run too deep; some wounds that will never be fully healed in this life. My life here on Voyager has been so amazing all these years, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but my experiences in the Borg collective and my parents' betrayal will always hurt. It's pain that I've gotten used to over the years."

"No one should have to carry that level of pain inside, but speaking as ship's counselor, I must say that you handle it amazingly well. You're the strongest person I've ever known," Naomi told Icheb, and then he smiled and gave her a very long, passionate kiss.

"I love you, Naomi," Icheb whispered.

"I love you too, Icheb," Naomi said softly, and then they kissed once again.

A few seconds later, the kiss ended, and then they returned their gaze to the starry Martian sky above them and just silently observed its beauty. But all of the sudden, a holographic recreation of Lieutenant Harry Kim appeared out of nowhere in his gold Starfleet uniform…and it dropped its pants and underwear and began mooning the newlyweds! And naturally, Icheb and Naomi just howled with laughter. They laughed 'til they cried!

"Oh, no, he didn't!" Icheb said aloud as Naomi continued cracking up at the sight before them. "Oh, no, he didn't! Oh, no, he did NOT just do that to us! No, he didn't! Oh, no, he DIDN'T!"

In that moment, Naomi whistled at the hologram of Harry Kim, and then a couple of seconds later, it vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Alright, Mr. Thomas Eugene Paris! It's on now! THIS MEANS WAR!" Naomi shouted.

"You know, Naomi, I really do have to hand it to Mr. Paris. With him on our crew, life will never, ever be boring!"

"I know, right? Commander Paris is so crazy!" Naomi said as she and Icheb continued to laugh.

"He is completely insane," Icheb agreed.

"We both know that Lieutenant Kim would be mortified at the thought of mooning anybody. He's always been the prim and proper and perfect Starfleet officer. There's no way Harry Kim would have done this. It's got to be Commander Paris. Got to be," Naomi reasoned.

"Oh yeah, I have no doubt in my mind that Commander Paris is the culprit," Icheb agreed.

"You know we have to find a way to pay him back for all of this," Naomi told him.

"Absolutely," Icheb concurred. And then he looked over at his new bride and asked, "Got any ideas?"

Naomi gave Icheb a mischievous smile, and in the next moment, she replied, "Oh, yeah."

The newlyweds then began plotting their retaliation on Tom Paris.


One week later, after Icheb's and Naomi's honeymoon had ended, the newlyweds buzzed the doorbell of Captain Janeway's ready room.

"Come in!" she called from behind her desk, and then Naomi and Icheb entered.

In that moment, Captain Kathryn Janeway looked up from her computer screen and gave Icheb and Naomi a big smile.

"Icheb, Naomi, have a seat," she told them.

"Thank you, ma'am," Icheb said respectfully, and then he and Naomi came over and sat down in the two chairs in front of Captain Janeway's desk.

"What can I do for you today, kids?" Captain Janeway asked pleasantly. Even though Icheb and Naomi had been grown adults for a long time now, to her, they would always be young children.

After a pause, Icheb said rather reluctantly, "Captain…Naomi and I…we have an extremely weird, extremely unusual request to make."

Captain Janeway chuckled then and said, "Well that certainly piques my interest. Go on."

Naomi then went on to explain the prank on Holodeck Two that Lieutenant-Commander Tom Paris was (most likely) the culprit of, and when she was finished telling the story, Captain Janeway laughed out loud.

"That definitely sounds like Mr. Paris's handiwork to me," she said with a laugh.

"And Naomi and I have some handiwork of our own we'd like to do to pay Commander Paris back," Icheb explained.

"What do you kids want to do?" asked the Captain.

"You know that Commander Paris's birthday is next week and that Mr. Neelix is planning a surprise birthday party for him in the Mess Hall," said Icheb.

"Yes," said Captain Janeway.

"Well, Captain, Icheb and I…well…Icheb and I are basically asking you for your permission to moon Commander Paris at his birthday party next week," Naomi explained.

As soon as those words came out of Naomi's mouth, Captain Janeway laughed out loud.

"Request granted," she told them as tears of laughter started streaming from her eyes. "I'll even do a little something extra to help you kids out when the time comes."

"What will you be doing, Captain?" asked Icheb.

"You'll see," Captain Janeway responded with a chuckle.

"Thank you very much, Captain," said Naomi, and then they all rose from their seats.

"You're more than welcome. Have a great evening, you two."

"You too, Captain," said Icheb, and then he and Naomi left the ready room. And as soon as they left, Captain Janeway turned to her computer and began doing some research.


"Everybody, I'd like to propose a toast," said Mr. Neelix as he and everyone else in the Mess Hall held up their glasses of champagne. "To Thomas Eugene Paris, the best pilot in the galaxy, and our dear friend. Happy birthday, Tom!"

"Hear, hear!" Harry Kim said aloud, and then they all took a sip of champagne.

"Hey, Commander Paris, Icheb and I have a special birthday present for you," said Naomi with a big, mischievous grin.

And in that moment, Icheb and Naomi turned around, dropped their pants, and began mooning Tom and everyone else in the Mess Hall.

Captain Janeway then said, "Computer, initiate program Janeway Theta Two Zero One."

About two seconds later, all the lights suddenly went out in the Mess Hall and a big spotlight appeared on Icheb and Naomi. And then a song began loudly blaring on the jukebox, and a band of male singers began singing out, "BIG OL' MOOOON! I SEE YOU SHININ'! 'TIL I SURPRISED YOU SMILIN' BRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON! NOW I KNOW WHERE YOU BEEN HIDIN'! THERE'S NOTHIN' LIKE BEIN' IN LOVE AND STARIN' AT A BIG OL' MOOOOOON!"