To Love Oneself is to Love Another
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Zag and I make no profit from this work of fiction.
Hello there everyone! This wonderful work of absolute crack is dedicated to my friend Mimi, who failed to understand the potential this ship has for crack fics in our fandom. Therefore, I took it upon myself to show her the error of her ways, and am posting this as mild revenge (plus getting you guys to laugh if I can).
This story actually has two versions. One where Alya sees Ladybug zip into Marinette's window and Adrien misunderstands during lunch the next day, causing chaos. The second is the more insane of the two, with Marinette using the Mouse Miraculous to permanently make a Clone so she doesn't have to run off every Akuma attack. This will be what chapter 2 is here for. Anyhow, enjoy the Marinette Dupain Cheng/Ladybug crack!
Alya had thought she'd seen it all after coming to Paris. Magical Monsters, Superheroes, a crazy idiot in a butterfly suit that she'd actually fought with, but none of it compared to seeing Ladybug herself zip inside her best friend's window, in the dead of the night. No amount of Akumas could have prepared her for this.
It was the middle in the night. She'd snuck out of the house, finally planning to confirm her suspicions about Ladybug and Chat Noir's patrol routes, but she'd missed them by mere seconds! She was frustrated, so the idea of taking a short walk before going back home had seemed like a good one, which was how she'd ended up in the park right next to her best friend's house.
That's when she saw it. Paris' resident superheroine -the Miraculous Ladybug herself- swinging right through her best friend's window like she'd done it a billion times before! Her first thought was the obvious, that Marinette was a superhero! Of course, this one made sense! Alya's best friend was brilliant, crafty, smart, a good leader…all the qualities a superhero ought to have when facing down Hawkmoth. And yet…on her first day as Rena Rouge, she'd directly asked Marinette if she was a hero, and her best friend had only given an honest laugh.
No stutters, no tripping over herself or messing up words as she tried to either back out of the countless conversations about the Heroine, or awkwardly trying to change the subject. She was adamant that Ladybug and Chat Noir wouldn't end up together…which would be perfectly logical since she was in love with Adrien! Still…Alya didn't want to think about the fact that this would mean Marinette had been lying to her -her own best friend- even after giving her a freaking Miraculous! Getting up from the bench she was sitting on, Alya decided she'd sleep on it, come back at this development tomorrow with a clear head.
And so, morning came, the sun shining onto the young teenager's eyes, for she'd forgotten to shut her blinds while sneaking back inside her room. Alya got up and walked to school, a sleep-deprived Marinette at her heel. If she was out patrolling until midnight, she had every right to be tired. Alya thought about getting her friend some coffee at lunch, it was the least she could do to thank her for saving the city so many times, assuming of course that she was right about her theory.
Morning classes came and went unnoticed, since Alya's brain was far busier connecting the dots surrounding this mystery. She didn't have time for Literature, or Math, or Chemistry or Science…yeah, maybe she should have at least pretended to pay attention. Oh well, it was lunch, which meant all she had to do in order to get answers was lure Marinette into a quiet backroom and…no, that made her look like a serial killer. Maybe an empty corner would be better? Probably.
And so with Nino's help –her lovely boyfriend distracting Sunshine Boy for a little while- Alya managed to get Marinette alone. Her friend was looking much better after grabbing a bite and downing a cup of caffeine, so it wouldn't hurt to ask a few questions.
"Marinette…", Alya said seriously, hesitating to continue in case she'd misunderstood, thinking that Marinette might laugh at her. Still, the potential scoop was worth it. She'd only been wrong once before...okay, twice! But who could blame her, Adrien and Chat Noir looked way too similar! "...girl, are you Ladybug?", she finally asked, and for a moment it looked like her best friend's heart literally jumped out of her chest.
"L-Ladybug? Come on Alya you're nuts! M-me? I superhero?", her best friend frantically denied, arms flailing and somehow managing to fall to the floor at the same time, even though she'd been leaning against a wall.
Knowing she was onto something Alya smiled, sly grin on her face. "Come on girl, I promise I won't tell! Besides, I totally saw Ladybug zip into your window last night!", she exclaimed, trying to get her friend to admit it. In her excitement however, she'd failed to notice Adrien, Buttercup, 'Hot Stuff' Agreste, if Marinette's ramblings were any indication.
"Alya!", her best friend shrieked, her eyes going wide as Adrien extended a hand to help her up. She shyly took it, behavior no different than before just now. Marinette was red as a tomato, like always.
Adrien smiled softly at her, but Nino raised a quizzical eyebrow, which Alya could translate as something being wrong with Sunshine Boy. Early on in her relationship with Nino she'd learned exactly how protective he was of Adrien, along with her boyfriend's exact choice words to describe Gabriel Agreste, which was "every single swearword in every dictionary, and a few more on top" if he was to be believed, and of course she believed him.
Still, Buttercup looked a bit…heartbroken? Why? Did he not like Ladybug or something? Did he have a crush on the heroine, and was disappointed to find out that it was just Marinette? If so, she'd kill him, and whatever army of lawyers his daddy dearest brought upon her afterwards.
"Wow Marinette, I-I didn't know you were dating Ladybug!", Adrien suddenly exclaimed, his true disappointment only noticeable because Nino had shot him a sympathetic look.
Wait…hold that thought. Did Adrien freaking Agreste, the blindest and densest person Alya ever had the pleasure of meeting just figure something out? Maybe…Marinette wasn't Ladybug, because she was Ladybug's girlfriend! Of course! It made perfect sense! Why else would she stutter and blush every time the heroine was brought up, while valiantly turning herself into a one-woman army against a whole city that shipped Ladynoir? It was because she already knew who Ladybug was in love with!
And disappearing during Akuma attacks, she must have gone away to make sure Hawkmoth couldn't use her against Ladybug! Her crush on Adrien, a fake! To ensure that no one, not even Alya herself would ever figure out the truth! After all, why else would she pretend to be obsessed over a guy? Why would she write down his schedule and know his every move other than to enthrall her entire class into a romance straight out of Japanese Anime to avoid suspicion? It made perfect sense!
Marinette, in typical anime fashion, had gone entirely red. If someone were to squint, they could see a small little thing flying over her shoulder. Probably a question mark, if this was to be a trend. Looked a little like a Kwami though…huh, weird. Maybe Ladybug had sent hers to look over her girlfriend? Yeah, that sounded right!
"What-I'm dating who?", Mari shrieked, and the whole class instantly abandoned their lunch to come and see what the commotion was.
Adrien smiled again, congratulating her repeatedly. "Yeah, it's so cool that you're dating Ladybug! She's so awesome and you deserve someone like that in your life! Hey, with any luck, I'll land myself a certain Black Cat!", Adrien exclaimed, clearly joking. Still, the image brought forth thoughts that even Hawkmoth would find disgusting. Marinette certainly did, because her face went ghost-white in a split second.
Ladybug's newly discovered girlfriend must have been in shock from all the praises and support she received after Adrien discovered the real secret, because poor Marinette immediately started banging her head against the wall, again and again. Everyone laughed as Alya took initiative, pulling her best friend into a supportive class-group hug, which finally made her legs give out. Adrien caught her before she tumbled to the floor, but judging by how red she was as he carried her to class, she must have been embarrassed to receive all the attention.
Alya herself would be if she was in her best friend's position, but thankfully she had a loving boyfriend who –for better or worse- knew her identity, not that she wouldn't choose Nino over Ladybug every time. As Adrien and Kim helped Marinette to her desk, the poor girl let out another wail of despair, causing everyone to laugh now that they knew her secret.
Yeah, this was crack. But we aren't done! Chapter 2 is right after this epilogue, so head on over for the single fic I wish I had written while drunk! It would at least be a plausible excuse for this entire mess. Then again, I might be able to get a friend of mine to dub this, which would be hilarious, so I'm actually happy to be sober while writing this! Take care Miraculers! I'll see you all chapter two!
