Finding the trolls was a simple matter of following the smell. They followed it past orchards in bloom, where fat, juicy peaches and oranges dangled in the waning sun. It might not have been so bad if it weren't for the mosquitoes, who apparently decided Kairi would make a tasty meal. Selphie, it seemed, had neglected to advise her to proof her clothing against such pests.

"You can do it, Kairi!" Tidus cheered.

And now she was here, sweaty, itchy, surrounded by rancid slavering beasts, and the pain in her head threatened to return in full force, so at least she had that to look forward to.

"He's got nothing on you!" said Selphie.

I could be at home, she realized. At home, snuggled into her soft bed—riding out the inimitable comfort that comes with stuffing oneself full of cheesy, greasy goodness—inside her room which she took painstaking efforts to ensure it smelled good; a faint aroma of the sweet tanginess that could only come from paopu fruits. That was a good smell.

"Kick his ugly butt!"

Maybe I should take up drinking...

She'd heard tales of upperclassmen getting 'sooo completely wasted' they'd pass out, unable to recall the previous night's events. Surely that meant no dreams either. Would be faster, more efficient than her current course of action. Less mosquito bites, too. If only she could figure out a way to get her hands on some of it...

Noctis threw some wild parties, she heard, and did not discriminate as to who attended them, and, if the grapevine was to be believed, drinks of illicit repute flowed freely within the walls of that absurd mansion of his, passed around for all to enjoy. Yes, she could invite herself next time and sneak a bottle or two. For research purposes.

"Back! Get back!" she cried as the troll tried to advance on her and she swung the nunchaku with wild abandon, nearly hitting herself in the process. The filthy beast backed away.

But then I'd have to deal with Prompto.

It was no secret the blonde teen was head over heels for Cidney, not that it stopped him from trying to chat up whichever girl happened to catch his fancy, like Kairi herself for instance. He was a good enough guy she supposed, but brunettes were more her type. Bonus points if they had wild, spiky hair and deep, ocean blue eyes which she could get lost in and...

She shook her head to clear it. Her mind went to the strangest places sometimes.

Stay in the moment, Kairi. Stay. In. The moment.

The moment, however, was far from ideal.

Soon they found their quarry and the racket they made caused Kairi's head to start pounding. A troll, a bit bigger than the others, had stepped forward and bared its ugly teeth in challenge—a champion of sorts. Selphie had declared this was as good a time as any for Kairi to get her hands dirty and before the redhead could utter a word in protest, she found herself being shoved forward to engage in a one-on-one duel.

The rest of the flea-bitten beasts hung back, hooting, screeching and stomping the ground with their gnarled hands and feet. From behind her, her friends cheered her onwards and the two unlikely combatants circled each other warily.

Kairi would generously say she was being tactical—smart, even. Feeling out her opponent and searching for an opening, trying to get it to reveal a weakness or opportunity she could exploit. She wanted to look at least somewhat competent in front of her friends. Not that the troll seemed to get the memo, as whatever openings or weakness it might have had, it kept close to its hairy chest.

This is going nowhere.

She tried to advance herself. Hopefully the beast would be cowed by her superior height. Instead it screamed in defiance and stomped its hands, chomping at the air with its teeth. Kairi reconsidered her plan. If she could somehow get the creature to give her an opening, it might help break this stalemate, but how to go about it? Making it angry?

She recalled a scene, one of the first she'd seen in her unusual dreams. Riku and the other boy. She watched them as they engaged in one of their mock swordfights—could almost hear the thwack of their weapons as they collided. Riku was cool as a cucumber, parrying, evading and countering the boy's strikes with seemingly contemptuous ease. The boy soon grew frustrated. A taunt from Riku and, angry, the boy would go for a reckless lunge or thrust, something that left him wide open for a retaliatory strike from Riku. The boy would get a painful smack for his lapse in judgment.

Kairi decided on an experiment. She looked the beast dead in the eye, bared her teeth and—feeling more than a little stupid—hissed at it. The troll's reaction was near instantaneous. It screeched in anger and pawed at the ground before lunging. An undignified squeal left Kairi's mouth as she stumbled back, her eyes shut tight and swung the nunchakus with all her might. The move was sloppy, more out of reflex than anything, yet the audible smack and the grunt of pain meant she struck true.

"Atta girl, Kai!"

Opening her eyes, Kairi saw the troll now rubbed furiously at its nose, its beady eyes moist with tears. Humiliated, it screeched in frustration and Kairi readied herself to avoid its next move. She expected it to try and bite her, or maybe go for a jumping attack. She did not anticipate for it to squat down, reach behind it and grab...

"Nope!" she said and flung herself to the side, narrowly dodging the foul projectile. She tasted dirt and knocked the air out of her lungs, but scrambled to her feet in fear the creature would repeat its vile move.

I gotta finish this quick!

Forget being tactical, she wanted to get this over and done with and get off this troll-infested place. Nunchakus in hand, she resolved to a reckless charge and scare the beast off, and was about to do so with a most impressive battle cry when—

"HIYAAAAAAAA!"

An earsplitting shriek stopped her in her tracks. The troll and its ilk stopped their racket, flinching as if struck by an invisible wave of force. Kairi glanced behind her to see Tidus and Wakka backing away from Selphie. The brunette looked down in horror and Kairi followed her line of sight. She winced in sympathy.

The troll's foul projectile may have missed Kairi, but found its mark in Selphie. It landed on the left side of her stomach, just beneath her navel. It was... wet. Slowly it slid down into the fabric of her jeans and plopped gracelessly to the ground, leaving a thick, sludgy, dark green trail where it trailed.

Selphie screamed again. Kairi had half a mind to comfort her friend, but she didn't like the idea of turning her back to the trolls. Also there was the smell. Selphie's head snapped up, fixing the offending creature with a murderous glare.

"You... you..." she forced through gritted teeth.

With heavy steps she advanced, moving past Kairi as if she weren't there and bore down on the nervous-looking beast. It looked back to its friends and, unwilling to show weakness, it bared its teeth and let out a weak hiss.

Selphie's eye twitched, violently. With a wordless cry of rage, she unholstered the whip and waved it in a complex arc. Several cracks ensued. The troll and its ilk squealed in pain as the weapon found its mark. Cutting their losses the creatures moved as one and retreated.

"Get back here!" Selphie screeched and gave chase.

"H-hold on!" Kairi said, but the brunette had already disappeared beyond the orchard.

Wakka whooped in approval. "Give 'em what-for, Selph!" And followed in her wake.

"Stay on the path. Stay on the path!" Tidus yelled after as he too joined in.

"Guys, don't leave me behind!" Kairi said as she was left with little choice but to follow.


Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Kairi's lungs burned as she kept with the relentless pace. Tidus beside her fared little better.

"That girl... is inhuman," he panted, sweat beading down his forehead.

Kairi could only nod. A year of dedicated track practice allowed her to keep pace relatively easily. The same could not be said for Tidus. Together they followed in Selphie's wake, guided by the crack of her whip and her shrill voice as she rained down damnation on the unruly trolls.

"FILTHY." Crack. "WORTHLESS." Crack. "SUBHUMAN." Crack. "WASTES OF SPACE." Crack.

The brunette had a healthy set of lungs on her, which made keeping track of her easy. Less easy was traversing the thick of the island. They'd left the tamed and orderly rows of the orchard some time ago and were now forced to wade through the untamed jungle floor.

"FACE ME." Crack. "COWARDS." Crack. "GET." Crack. "BACK." Crack. "HERE." Crack. "DAMMIT."

"Remind me," Kairi gasped. "Not... to make her... mad."

"Yeah," he wheezed.

There was a salty tinge to the dank jungle air. They were near the sea, she could tell.

It wasn't long before the loamy soil under them turned to sand, and the dense foliage receded until at last they came upon a beach. Selphie was there too. If the trek past the thick jungle had worn her down, she did not show it. She ran like a woman possessed after several dark shapes which were making a mad dash for the sea and away from her whip.

The open air allowed Selphie to be much more precise with her weapon. She lashed with the whip, which tangled around the leg of one of the trolls—the large one who had performed the most unforgivable crime of soiling the brunette with its... leavings.

"Hah!" Selphie cried in triumph as she pulled with all her might and the beast went down. She was upon it in a heartbeat.

"YOU MOTHERLESS. GOOD-FOR-NOTHING. SHIT-FLINGING. RAT FACED SON OF A BITCH!"

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

CRACK.

"Easy, girl!" a red-faced Wakka panted as he hooked his arms beneath hers and dragged her from the cowering beast. "He's had enough."

Selphie clearly thought otherwise and she used a very colorful language to verbalize it. The troll did not waste time and seized the opportunity to make a getaway.

"Kairi?" Tidus said.

"Yeah?"

They watched as Selphie broke free from Wakka's grip and ran to the edge of the water, shrieking in frustration as she watched her prey escape, hurling rocks and seashells at the retreating creature, cursing it, its brethren, its mother and its lineage even as it disappeared beyond the horizon.

"Don't ever make Selphie mad."


A/N: The introductory stuff is mostly out of the way. The story will begin to pick up come next chapter.