Force Dyad
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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who left a review on the last chapter!
Chapter Seventy-Four-In The End it Doesn't Even Matter
Poe Dameron was just leaving the Resistance general's quarters when Ben arrived to see her. The two men glared at each other when they passed one another in the narrow corridor. Ben had no time for the cocky pilot after all the trouble he had caused in the past. It annoyed him that his mother still showed faith in Poe and insisted on keeping him around. If it was up to Ben, he would have kicked Dameron out of the Resistance a long time ago after his first screw up. He knew his mother had been close to Poe's parents, but he felt like this was no excuse when he kept on endangering lives. It was just one of the many things they didn't agree on. Ben could feel the tension rising in him already and he nearly walked away, and only stopped when the doors slid open, revealing him to Leia.
"You wanted to see me." Ben said curtly, reluctantly stepping inside.
"Yes." Leia rose out of her seat, her brown eyes warming as she looked upon him with something akin to pride. "Thank you for coming."
It unnerved Ben, the way she was looking at him, like she was actually pleased to see him. He wasn't used to it. He wasn't sure how to react. "Tai was too tired to tell me about what happened during the debriefing. I assume that's why you wanted to see me in person, so you can tell me yourself." He said indifferently.
Leia's eyes froze over like the surface of a winter puddle, robbing them of their former warmth. Her pride took a hit at his apathetic tone, it felt like he was intentionally trying to snub her when she was trying to make an effort to reach out to him. "That's not the only reason. At least give me a moment to explain." She matched his terse manner, falling back on old habits.
Ben felt the usual bitterness consume him. Five minutes in one another's company and they were already sniping at each other. His mother was as short-tempered, headstrong, emotionally insecure, and impatient as she always was. He knew his aloofness was rubbing her up the wrong way, but he couldn't help but keep up his guard up around her.
"So, are you going to tell me what you've managed to decode from the intel the First Order spy sent you?" Ben demanded.
A tic pulsed along Leia's jaw as she regarded him coolly. She was already back to playing the role of the Resistance general. "Thanks to C-3PO and Beaumont, we managed to decode it, and it confirms the worst." She paused for a long moment as if struggling to find the right words to continue. "Somehow…. somehow, Palpatine has returned."
Ben's eyes opened wider. "What?"
"It appears Snoke was merely his puppet. And he was the one pulling the strings all along. "
"The emperor was killed aboard the second death star!" Ben insisted. "Skywalker saw him fall!"
Leia's face paled and she was forced to sit down at the mention of her dead brother. "I can't explain it…." She murmured. "Dark science…. cloning. Secrets only the Sith knew."
Ben felt sick to his stomach. He stared off into the distance, his expression troubled. His mental catalogue of the Sith was vast, he had learned a lot over the years, from Skywalker himself as well as from his own extensive reading. But was it really possible for the emperor to cheat death?
From Skywalker's own notes in the Jedi texts, he had mentioned that Sheev Palpatine had been obsessed with the idea of living forever. He'd claimed to Anakin that he'd discovered the secret of eternal life from his own master, Darth Plagueis, right before betraying and killing him. Skywalker had assumed it was a lie, meant to tempt Anakin to the dark side. But what if there was truth to it?
"He's been planning his revenge all this time." Leia explained shakily. "His followers have been building something for years. The largest fleet the galaxy has ever known. He calls it the Final Order. Very soon, attacks on all New Worlds will begin."
Ben ran his fingers through his thick, black hair restlessly. He felt like a heavy weight was pinning him down. He knew where all this was leading. He felt like his legs were going to collapse under him and was forced to sit down before he fell down. "I get it now. Why you wanted to see me, to speak to me alone."
"Ben…?" Leia reached out to him but his bitter glare made her recoil.
"Where has he been hiding?"
"In the Unknown Regions." Leia answered. "The emperor and the fleet have been hiding there, on a planet called Exegol."
Ben wanted to throw up. Exegol. That name was burned into his memory. How many times had he and Rey come across it in the old texts?
"The planet does not appear on any star chart." Leia continued quietly. "But legend describes it as the hidden world of the Sith. Palpatine was the one behind the First Order all this time, hiding in the shadows from the very beginning. Snoke was just his cover." She glanced at her son, noting his pale face and the dark glow in his eyes. "If we want to stop him, Ben. We must find Exegol."
Ben pushed himself back onto his feet, his angry eyes revealing his pain untold, landing with laser like focus on his mother. Leia huddled in her chair, one hand clutching her grey cape around her like a shield. "This is you extending an olive branch, is it? When you say we must find Exegol, you mean me." He spat.
"Ben, if C-3PO's decryption is correct, the emperor is on the verge of launching an unstoppable new Empire."
Leia's hand shook as she flicked a switch on a holo disc. Ships in miniature manifested themselves above the holo disc. They were tiny and bluish, giving little clue to their actual scale. But there was so many, like hundreds of stars in the night sky.
"Ben, if we don't move fast, they'll crush us. Only half our ships are working. We have no large-scale weapons. If this fleet launches, freedom dies in the galaxy. Everything we've fought for is at stake."
"Everything you've fought for, you mean." Ben sneered.
Leia's chest heaved; she was fighting for every breath. She had witnessed the anger in his eyes before, the dejection, the sheer mistrust, but what was reflecting in them now shook her to her very core. It was something close to contempt. He despised her.
"Everything I've ever fought for was for you, dammit! To keep you safe!" Leia yelled up at him defensively. "Do you think I wanted this life? To do any of this? I ended sacrificing everything that mattered to me – my marriage, my friendships, my relationship with you! I have been fighting my whole life and I'll keep on fighting until the end."
"You keep on telling yourself that, Leia Organa, if it makes you sleep better at night." Ben retaliated. "You've painted yourself as some tragic heroine inside your own mind, nobly sacrificing everything for the greater good. Even forsaking her own son along the way."
"Ben, you have got it so wrong. I love you." Leia implored. "I have been trying so hard… so very hard… to make you see that. You struggle with your legacy, and I take the full blame for that, I should have been the one to help you. Instead, I sent you away to Luke."
"You made me feel worthless. You made me feel like a monster." Ben accused.
Leia's lower lip wobbled and she bit down hard on it to stem the tide of her tears. She couldn't cry. She wouldn't. She had to remain strong so she could explain. She rose unsteadily to her feet. "I struggled with my legacy just like you did. I couldn't handle it, knowing that Vader was once Anakin Skywalker, my birth father."
"I am not him!" Ben snapped.
"Of course, you're not. But I was scared, Ben. You don't understand how afraid I was when I became pregnant with you. It was supposed to be a joyous time, but all it did was bring all my old fears and anxieties rising to the surface about Vader. I sensed the darkness in you, even while I was carrying you in the womb. I could feel you through the Force, you were like a pulsing living band of light. But often that light dimmed, and was thrust through with a vein of darkness. You'd turn and turn inside my stomach, you were so restless, so agitated."
"You thought of me as a monster even before I was born." Ben's tone turned bleak. "I never stood a chance, did I?"
"I'm explaining all this badly, Ben. I did not believe that." Leia cried. "But I was fearful. And that was not because of you. It was because of me and my own insecurities. I didn't know that darkness was coming from Snoke, I didn't know about the manipulation then. That knowledge only came later. After you were born, I was living in a state of fear, watching and waiting for the darkness to grow in you. The first time you harnessed the Force was in a fit of toddler rage, throwing a toy across the room at me. I confided only in Luke, believing that Han would just dismiss my fears. I could see the concern in his eyes. We only ever spoke about Vader once after he died. It was a closed subject between us. But, each of us, in our own way, had been traumatised by it. It affected our lives going forward."
"And mine." Ben broke in bitterly. "You should have told me about him. Instead, I find out with the rest of the galaxy about my twisted legacy."
"I am so sorry, Ben. I wish I could take it all back. If I had my time over again, I would do it all so differently. I would have been open and honest with you about Vader, I would never have sent you away to Luke. At the time I thought it was the right decision. Luke brought Vader back to the light, and I was so convinced he would be the best person to guide you, to nurture you in the ways of the force."
"But it wasn't. Skywalker was as scared of what I was capable of, just like you were. I see that now." Ben said furiously. "I was being judged guilty when I hadn't even done anything to deserve it."
"We were all trying to protect you." Leia denied.
"You were trying to protect yourself." Ben retorted, his eyes darkening to black. "You can try and justify your actions as much as you want, but it comes down to the same thing in the end - you never cared enough to see the real me. All the times I reached out to you, I suffered rejection after rejection."
"Ben, please." Leia pleaded in anguish.
"Just stop, mother!" Ben demanded. "I don't want to hear your justifications anymore. They just ring hollow now." He watched Leia's head dip as she tried to stifle her tears. "You brought me here to tell me you want me to go to Exegol. You're going to sacrifice me again – "
"Its not like that. With Luke gone, you are one of the last jedi. With the power that you and Rey wield together, you are the last beacon of hope we have. Together you can…."
Ben's eyes blazed with fury. "I AM NO JEDI!" He roared. "You may be willing to sacrifice everything and everyone you love to save your precious galaxy. But I would rather see it burn then risk any harm coming to Rey."
"Don't do this, Ben." Leia said urgently as she placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart. It was pumping so hard; it was threatening to jump out of her chest. "Don't go this way."
"Enough! Rey and I were always going to leave. It was only because of Magda that we stayed. She lost all her family and I wanted vengeance, but nothing is worth this." Ben's eyes glittered with moisture, the muscles in his face rigid with defeat. "You are nothing to me."
Then he walked away.
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.
