Outside the box

Ironwood marched into Ozpin's office, a grim expression plastered all over his face. Qrow and Glynda were already there, their own faces equally grave. The general shot them a tired glance before sighing heavily. "Any luck?"

"Guess." Qrow grumbled and took a large swig from his flask.

"They're running circles around us, every time we get a lead, they're long gone by the time we investigate," Glynda commiserated. "Haah, the fact that we have our own jobs to do isn't helping. We're stretched too thin."

"And what else can we do? It's not like we can just announce Salem's existence. Ahrgh, much as I'd like to put the whole army on the alert, my hands are tied." Ironwood grimaced and shook his head. "We just have to work harder."

"If I work any harder, my wings are gonna fall off. Flying around the world ain't easy you know, it's not like I can be in two places at once," Qrow retorted.

"Then perhaps we should try something different, my apologies for being late, I was a little tied up with a… situation." Ozpin's voice intruded as he entered the office proper, smelling faintly of smoke.

"Yes, I saw. half the main courtyard is on fire," Ironwood nodded.

"Oh damn it firecracker, I told you that was a stupid idea," Qrow sighed.

"You were responsible for it?" Glynda seethed and turned on him immediately.

"Oi! I told her not to do it! Don't blame me for it," Qrow said defensively.

"Ahem, the… incident outside can be dealt with later. We have more pressing concerns, I believe." Ozpin coughed lightly to get everyone back on track.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. Work smarter, not harder yea, but how though?" Qrow asked. "I'm open to suggestions."

"I believe fresh perspective is needed. Someone else might provide the answer we seek," Ozpin said.

"You… want to bring someone else into the fold?" Glynda frowned. "Is that wise?"

"Not quite. I dropped by Vale university earlier, you know how they leave long-time impossible questions in their exams just in case someone cracks it? Today someone did, and if they can, why not try it in Beacon." Ozpin shrugged.

"You wanna give everyone a test?" Qrow stared blankly at Ozpin.

"Not exactly. But this is a school for huntsmen and huntresses in training, it's not a secret that aside from dealing with the Grimm, they will have to contend with human or faunus criminals in the future as well. If we give them the Salem problem as a theoretical exercise, someone might come up with a solution, or at least provide new insight. If they can't, then nothing has changed and we lose nothing," Ozpin replied.


Jaune and Ruby sat quietly in an empty classroom. Everyone else had already left when classes were finished for the day. Both of them knew what they were in for and couldn't help but fidget nervously. Ruby kept fiddling with Crescent Rose and Jaune chewed on a pencil hard enough to nearly bite through the thing.

"We're dead, we're so, so dead." Jaune moaned and slammed his head against the desk.

"I thought you were watching Nora!" Ruby cried.

"I thought you were watching Yang!" Jaune shot back.

"Ugh, no it's too late for blame. Uh, uh… sis told me how to deal with this before. What was it… oh yeah! Deny, deny, deny!" Ruby perked up slightly.

"Except they got it all on camera. It's everywhere now." Jaune groaned, instantly deflating Ruby's mood.

"Um… we blame it on the Grimm?"

"What Grimm!?"

"Uh… I don't know! Invisible never before seen Grimm that um can create illusions or… or… or something!"

The sound of footsteps coming from the hallway outside made both team leaders snap to attention, their terrified gazes rooted to the door. Professor Goodwitch was probably here to give them detention for life as punishment for all the damage Yang and Nora managed to cause.

When the door opened and Ozpin walked in, both felt a sense of relief pass over that it wasn't Goodwitch, before freezing up again when their minds caught up to the fact their headmaster had come in person.

"A-are we about to be expelled?" Ruby asked nervously, Jaune would have said something too, but he was too busy shaking like a leaf.

"Expelled? Why woul-ah, the courtyard. No, no I'm not going to expel you or your team for the ah… accident. This is an academy for huntsmen and huntresses, it's understandable that students will wish to experiment and come up with new ways of combating the Grimm, and they don't… always go according to plan. We don't punish enthusiasm, I just ask that you keep such… training methods to the training grounds, preferably with a member of the staff on hand to supervise," Ozpin said, his smile a little more strained than was natural.

Upon hearing that, Ruby and Jaune slumped onto their desks, exhaling sighs of relief.

"Of course, given the damage, I will expect Ms Xiao Long and Ms Valkyrie to be performing community service. And they can start by filling in the potholes they left all over the place." Ozpin added.

"O-of course headmaster! We'll make sure they get it done asap!" Jaune laughed nervously.

"Good, now on to business as they say. Oh, it's nothing too serious," Ozpin reassured when he noted the worry on their faces. "Just a small test of something I wish to implement in the future. As you know, huntsmen and huntress have to deal with problems that involve outside the box thinking, no two situations are ever the same and your tactics will have to shift accordingly. As leaders, the onus is on you to make the correct judgement call and adapt as needed, even when the situation looks impossible. For this little experiment, I will give you a scenario, and you two are to try and come up with a solution. There are no right or wrong answers, I just wish to check on your problem-solving skills."

"O-ok, we can do this." Ruby said, half to go along with the headmaster and half to reassure herself.

"Very well, the situation is as follows. Your team is on the trail of a notorious criminal gang. You know they're planning a big heist in the future and you need to stop them before that happens. The problem is, you have limited manpower, by the time you get a lead and can start investigating, the trail is already going cold. How would you deal with this?" Ozpin asked.

"Um…" Jaune exchanged a glance with Ruby. "What kind of criminal gang are we talking about?"

"Yeah, like Torchwick or the White Fang? Or the gang that runs that club Yang keeps visi-err hearing about." Ruby added.

"Hmm, I suppose the White Fang would suffice for this example. Fine, you know they're planning an attack soon and you want to stop them before innocents get hurt. Of course, with the White Fang being what they are, they're secretive and you don't know who's behind the mask, they could be anywhere, any time and your plans can leak if you're not careful." Ozpin amended his scenario after a moment's thought.

"Ok… when we uh… found them at the docks, that was because Weiss found a pattern in Torchwick's robberies. They were hitting dust stores, so it was a good guess that they'd go after the shipment. Do we have any info about their past attacks?" Ruby furrowed her brows in thought.

"Hmm, only that they're well supplied and willing to strike whenever the opportunity arises. Mercy isn't their strong suit." Ozpin's expression darkened slightly as he recalled Amber.

"Well supplied, they build their equipment?" Jaune asked.

"Build? I don't suppose so, they have the resources to get what they need by buying. Either the black market or through authentic channels, remember, nobody knows they're terrorists when they're not wearing their masks. They look just like everyone else."

"So… we have a bunch of terrorists who can get whatever they want, are basically invisible until they strike and we're on a time limit." Ruby pursed her lips. Impossible seemed like a good way to sum things up, the deck was too heavily stacked in the White Fang's favour. They couldn't possibly win, no single team could… unless they cheated.

"I think, it's impossible if it's just us." Ruby spoke slowly, testing each word as her mind shuffled the puzzle pieces around. "If the White Fang know about us, then we'll have to get help. If they don't, then we might be able to accomplish it by ourselves, but it's unlikely. The White Fang all wear uniforms and masks, we don't recognise them without those, but they won't recognise all of their own either. So we get a copy of their uniform, plant a faunus in their ranks, have them be a double agent."

Jaune nodded in agreement, having come to the same conclusion of calling for aid. He'd had the idea of doing everything by oneself thoroughly beaten out of him by this point after all, although his own solution was different from Ruby's. "I agree, getting help is the only way to win. But just a spy isn't enough. They might not learn everything in time, so the attack needs to be delayed if it can't be stopped. We do this by hitting their supplies. If the White Fang are buying their stuff, then there's money involved, whether it's through a normal store or the black market, money's changing hands. So we just follow the money, it'll lead us right to them."

"Follow the money, and how do you intend to do that?" Ozpin raised an eyebrow in question.

"I can't do it, but you could always call the IRS. I don't think a terrorist group pays taxes, it's enough of an excuse for the IRS to get involved. They're way better at tracking dirty money than us huntsmen will ever be. And uh, once they uncover everything, the friendly repo men might beat us to taking the White Fang down." Jaune finished, recalling old stories his father and grandfather used to tell him, of the dreaded auditors holding the power of life and death over the common man. One mistake and the suits would come in the night, drag you away to 'work off your debt and die trying'. That was the beauty of working of your debt to the IRS, you never do.

"The IRS… yes… I see," Ozpin muttered with a frown. Over his many, many lives, the IRS had been the second most persistent enemy he'd ever faced. Only the fact they weren't immortal put Salem slightly ahead in single-minded determination. Massing wealth and transferring it across the ages for his endless war against the Grimm had been hampered time and time again by the IRS wanting their cut.

As the saying went, there are only two certainties in life, death and taxes. Salem escaped the first, why should she be allowed to escape the second?

"Hmm… both excellent answers. You've given me quite a lot to think about," Ozpin said after a moment.

"So… do we pass?" Ruby hedged.

"There's no right or wrong answer Ms Rose, I just wanted to test your ability to reason and come up with solutions. On that, I suppose the two of you pass with flying colours," Ozpin said and offered them both a smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to think about."

'A spy and the IRS huh… why not both? Maybe it is time to recruit someone new.'


Cinder slammed her fists on her table, putting a large dent in it. Roman's infuriating face filled her scroll's screen and she wanted to hurl the damn thing into a wall so bad it physical hurt. "What do you mean you're leaving for Vacuo!?"

"What I mean is fuck you bitch! Neo and I are out of here, this whole operation is a bust!" Roman snarled and Neo politely held up one finger on each hand. "Ever since you got here, everything's gone to shit and it's about fucking time I leave! You and your gruesome twosome have been nothing but worthless jinxes."

Cinder glowered at the screen, if looks could kill, Roman would have been road kill. She reined in her temper slightly and hissed, "do you think running to Vacuo will save you from me? When I find you, I will burn you alive, slowly."

"Big words Ms Fancy Pants. But if I were you, I'd be more worried about myself." Roman started chuckling softly before it rapidly degenerated into full on laughter. "I'm not the moron who forgot to pay their taxes. That's why the IRS are after you and not me."

"Fuck the IRS! You have no idea who you're messing with Roman," Cinder snapped.

"Neither do you bitch. No one and I mean no one, fucks with the IRS," Roman retorted. "I paid my damn taxes, Junior paid his damn taxes, every fucking criminal in this city worth their salt paid their goddamned taxes… except you. Now they're going to make an example of you. It's a nice name you've got, it's all your life is worth now. Goodbye Cinder, we will never meet again."

Cinder's eyes bulged out of their sockets when Roman promptly hung up on her. With a furious cry, she upended the table and flipped it end over end to crash into the wall. There would be hell to pay, but first… she should probably look into that IRS thing, what was the big deal about them anyways?

She made it three steps to the door before it was promptly blown off its hinges. Stumbling back and slightly disoriented, she frowned at the sight of men in immaculate suits pouring through the destroyed doorway. She had no idea who these idiots were, but she needed to vent her frustrations and it was kind of them to volunteer for target practice.


"Have you heard, poor little Cindy got arrested for tax fraud. She tried to fight them, she actually tried to fight the IRS! Ahahahahaah!" Tyrian's insane laughter echoed throughout the spacious dining hall.

"Oh no, anyways," Watts snickered. "Don't we have more important issues to discuss."

"Yes! The newest member of our cabal! I do hope you're smarter than our dearly departed." Tyrian's stinger tail shot out, coming to a sudden stop inches away from their newest recruit.

"Please, she didn't pay her taxes. That's not exactly a high bar to clear… and I'm not shaking your tail." Robyn rolled her eyes and pushed the stinger away with one hand.

"True enough, such a tragedy poor Cinder forgot to do her taxes. Hehehehe…" Watts snickering grew louder. As the one who laid the groundwork for Cinder's infiltration of Vale, it might have… slipped his mind to complete all the paperwork. Truly, her arrest was a most dreadful tragedy. "In any case, I look forward to working with you Ms Hill. Atlas's council elections are due soon, shall I?"

"Thanks but no thanks, the only other interested candidate is Jacques Schnee. This'll be a complete walkover." Robyn shook her head, doing her best to maintain a neutral expression and allow none of her thoughts to show.

"Hmm, again true enough. Schnee isn't the most ah... personable of people around. All the same, if you need anything done, let me know. We're all colleagues now, and you're at least already far superior to dear old Cinder." Watts acquiesced.

"I'll keep that in mind." Robyn nodded politely. 'Haah… the things I do for my kingdom. Vigilante yesterday, spy today, councilwoman tomorrow. Joy.'