It's Tuesday!

The crowd in the main ballroom of Wayne Manor was dressed to- not the nines, Gotham high society was too expensive for that- dressed to the tens. The Wayne New Year's Eve Charity Gala, this year raising money for Gotham General Hospital, was the highlight of the social calendar. Anyone who was anyone made sure to be in attendance. The Wayne family and the various members of the Wayne foundation who put the event together made sure the ballroom was decorated with pieces of artwork from the Wayne collection. A large table was set up along the back wall covered with various finger foods for the guests. The french doors were open allowing people to go out to the balcony.

Bruce had been trying to convince other rich people to part with their money for at least two hours using every argument from tax deductions, good publicity, and just genuine human kindness and he was exhausted.

He managed to slip out through a side door that was partially hidden behind a large plant. Just ten minutes. He told himself. Ten minutes then I can get back out there. Once Bruce had found an empty sitting room a good enough distance away from the gala he put his head in his hands and let out a frustrated growl.

Galas had never been Bruce's favorite events. Standing around and talking had never been Bruce's idea of productivity. But in order for the Wayne Foundation or Gotham General to do anything actionable they needed money. And the best way to get lots of cash at once to fund them was to stand around and talk.

Earlier that evening his father had pulled him aside and reassured him that he was doing a good job. Bruce imagined anything would have been considered a good job after he had loudly snapped at Mrs. Wheeler, "Do you want people to die?" seven years ago. She had been wearing a two thousand dollar dress but said that her budget was tight and she just couldn't donate to the food bank right now. Exaggeration maybe. It had gotten her to cough up a thousand, even if she insisted on a hand written apology before coming to anymore Wayne events. Some people….

There was a thump from the hallway and Bruce looked up to see a couple of waiters with a cart covered in trays of food, likely destined for the table in the ballroom.

"I'm fine," he tried to reassure them. "You should probably get that to where it needs to go."

"Are...are you…" One of the waiters pointed at Bruce. "Are you the kid? Bruce?"

"I'm...27 years old." What kind of question was that? Besides, they tended to hire the same people for every event. Shouldn't they know who he is?

Actually, they weren't anywhere near the kitchen, or even the route they would need to take to get from the kitchen to the ballroom.

"Are you guys lost?" Bruce frowned. Either this was their first event and whoever had given them directions had completely failed at their jobs or… "Do you need help?"

"Help would be great," said the waiter that had spoken before. "Let me just get…" He reached under the white tablecloth covering the cart. "Ah! Here it is!" He pulled out a gun.

Why was this Bruce's life?

The other apparently-not-a-waiter had pulled out a gun too, presumably from the other side of the cart. Before either of them could get their guns aimed at him properly Bruce jumped behind the couch he had been sitting on for cover. He looked around for anything he could use to defend himself. Coffee table. Monet. Vase that did not date from the Ming dynasty like the gift giver had claimed but was actually a very good twentieth century reproduction. Bruce grabbed the vase.

"Come out from behind the couch with your hands up!"

The couch wasn't that high and Bruce was bent down to keep himself behind it. He didn't want to risk sticking his head up. He hefted the vase up. If they just kept talking….

"We're going to have to go around and get him, aren't we?"

"It looks like it. Hey kid! Come out and make this easy or we're coming around!"

Footsteps started to approach from the left side of the couch. Bruce threw the vase over his head towards them. Crash! Thud.

"Holy- Mattie!" Footsteps ran up to where the first not-waiter had collapsed.

Bruce didn't have anything else convenient to throw. So with the guy distracted he threw himself at him. The other guy was thin and on the shorter side so Bruce easily pushed him over. They tumbled over each other as Bruce tried to grab the gun out of his hand. Bruce's back suddenly slammed into something and the food cart toppled over with a clatter. They fell apart as a pile of eclairs fell on top of them. Thankfully, their sudden stop meant that the not-waiter had dropped the gun. They both reached out to grab it Only for another foot to come down on top of it.

"Bruce?" A man with light grey hair and a thick mustache stared down at them. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Captain Gordon." With the gun taken care of, Bruce threw himself on top of the other man to get him pinned down. "You should probably call your colleagues."

"My daughter already ran off to take care of that." Captain Gordon pulled on a pair of gloves then leaned down to pick up the gun. "When she gets back we can escort these men to a more secure room where they can wait to be taken down to the precinct."

"Thank you," Bruce said. The guy beneath him had finally stopped struggling and seemed to have accepted his fate. "You probably won't have to deal with tackling gunmen anymore when you're the Commissioner."

"It's not a guarantee that I'm going to be the new Commissioner."

Bruce just hummed in response. Captain Gordon seemed to be the only person in the city who didn't realize he was a shoe-in for the position when Commissioner Lewis retired at the end of April. Considering the work Captain Gordon had done cleaning up corruption in his own precinct, the GCPD would be better off for it.

The sound of footsteps preceded three people suddenly crowding through the door to the room. The first was a young woman who appeared to be around the same age as most of the first year students at Gotham University with bright orange hair. The next was another woman who was probably around Bruce and Harvey's age with hair that was equally bright but red instead of orange. The third was Harvey Dent, who went over to Bruce as soon as they got in the room.

"Are you alright, buddy?"

"I'm fine." Bruce got the feeling he would be saying that a lot.

The woman with orange hair went over to the other man, who was still lying unconscious on the ground. "At least they got taken down quickly. Help will be coming in ten minutes. I found Dent and Officer Riordan at the party. Security should be coming soon too." The not-waiter started to stir and she reached out a hand to help him stand up. He looked around at the number of people present, his currently pinned down partner and groaned. The woman kept her hands on his arm to keep him from running.

Captain Gordon smiled. "Bruce, allow me to introduce my daughter, Barbara."

"Considering the current situation, I'm Officer Gordon. But it is a pleasure to meet you. And shake your hand but…" She looked at the criminal she was holding.

The other woman walked over to Bruce. "I can take him off your hands. Officer Kate Riordan, by the way."

Bruce stood up and allowed her to grab the gunman he had been holding. "Thank you. I believe I read about you in the paper. You caught the South Docks smuggling ring, right?"

Officer Riordan grinned. "That's me! I've heard a lot about you from Harvey and I'm glad you're alright."

"One of the security officers said there's another sitting room we can use to hold them until the squad cars arrive." Officer Gordon said. "When they get here they're going to want to take your statement as well."

"I know. This isn't the first time something like this has happened."

Captain Gordon had picked up the other gunman's weapon. He snapped the safety on both of them. "Alright, let's take these guys away and read them their rights."

As Captain Gordon and the other police officers began taking the criminals away Harvey turned to Bruce. "I don't understand how this keeps happening to you. You're a doctor. Aren't people supposed to like you? Meanwhile, I'm a lawyer and while I've received plenty of death threats, I've only had a gun pointed at me once. Guess when that was. Guess."

"And yet you encourage his recklessness." The two of them turned around to see David Jameson, Bruce's bodyguard, had arrived. With his suit and his earpiece he looked like he was part of the secret service. His expression was that of someone who had seen this before and was not impressed. "What did I say about going off without letting anyone know where you are going?"

"I only needed to step out for a moment."

"A moment." Jameson gestured to the overturned cart and the finger food scattered across the floor. "A moment?"

"It was only going to be a moment." Bruce reassured him. "I don't need you to be watching over my shoulder all the time."

"You are the heir to the largest fortune in the state, rivaled by only a few in the country. Your family gains business enemies and enemies with surprising objections to charitable work constantly. My job is to keep you safe but I can't do that if I don't know where you are. And something always happens."

"Not everytime-"

"One day at a comic convention is the exception not the norm." Jameson sighed. "I worry, okay? And not just because it's my job. I am particularly stressed this evening because of everything that goes into these events. And we somehow still have security cracks big enough for gunmen to sneak in!"

"Don't worry!" Said Harvey. "The district attorney's office will make sure they don't crash anymore parties."

"Sure. I swear this city gets crazier all the time. I think one of those police officers I just saw was Kate Riordan. Wasn't she responsible for that crazy sting operation on the South Docks gang last month? The things they let officers get away with these days…"

Harvey crossed his arms. "The only reason it came to that was because the precinct captain kept ignoring their activities even in the face of much greater evidence. She is a very competent officer."

"Of course you'd like her methods. Your technique for solving crime in this city is to stir the pot recklessly and try to catch whatever boils up. One of these days someone will do more than send a death threat and throw a bunch of acid in your face."

"That was weirdly specific. And my way is better than sitting around and waiting for something to happen. That is how all the criminal organizations based here in Gotham- more than any other city in the country by the way- are able to get away with everything so easily. Also, I should hope I get along with Kate. She's here as my plus one."

Jameson's face went through a complicated series of expressions that managed to convey both his frustration and his horror. He eventually settled on an expression of disappointment he had definitely learned by copying Alfred Pennyworth, the family butler. "You're with Kate Riordan?"

"Not like that. We're co-workers and good friends. I needed someone to come with me since I knew Bruce would be busy so she volunteered."

Harvey had been one of Bruce's closest friends since high school and Jameson had stuck close to Bruce since he was first hired after the rockclimbing-skylight incident. Even though he spent a lot of time with both of them he tried to not let them spend too much time together and this was why. He tried to subtly put himself between them. "It's a good thing that there were police officers here tonight. They've been arrested and it was all taken care of quickly."

Harvey smiled. "Yep! It was a good thing I brought Kate!" Jameson glowered but didn't get the chance to object because at that moment Bruce's parents showed up.

"Are you alright?" Martha had displaced Harvey and was now standing next to Bruce, while Thomas was on his other side.

"I'm fine. The Gordons and Officer Riordan already took them away."

"We saw. But they didn't hurt you?" Thomas asked.

"I'm fine. They didn't hurt me."

Thomas turned to Jameson. "Has there been any report from the other guards about how these guys got in?"

"Nothing yet."

"Please let us know when there is. Or any other problems that come up."

"Oh, I can think of some problems," Jameson muttered, side-eyeing Harvey.

"I'm sorry," Martha said. "I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat what you just said?"

Jameson blushed and turned to Martha. "No one who's a high security risk. Just some people who are troublemakers."

"Oh, like who?"

"Well, Officer Riordan, this one," He gestured to Harvey. "Lois Lane is here on her father's behalf."

"Oh that's right!" Thomas turned to Bruce. "Have you had the chance to talk to your little sister yet?"

"She's not my sister. She's my cousin." He hadn't even known she was here (and technically they weren't even related at that). If he had, they could have broken aside from everyone to take a break from stubborn rich people and talk about whatever article she was currently working on. That would have been great and he wouldn't have had a gun pointed at him. "If you keep calling her my sister the tabloids will eventually hear about it and then we'd never get any rest. I don't think General Lane would be very happy either."

"But you two are so much alike! You basically act like siblings already. Besides, I don't believe anyone here is going to tell the press."

Bruce decided to stop protesting. It was a losing battle anyway. The jokes about them being related had stuck since they were kids.

"Bruce," Martha placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to stay for the rest of the event tonight. You can just go relax. But please let Jameson keep an eye on you."

"I will. I need to stay here until the police arrive to give a statement but after that I'll probably go upstairs." He turned to Harvey. "Want to join me?"

"Sure thing! I can duck into the party and grab Lois, then we can have our own private party. No gunmen allowed!"

"I should hope not," Jameson grumbled.

A private party sounded nice. Everything that had happened hadn't changed how tired Bruce was with dealing with so many people. They could talk about Harvey's work trying to clean up crime in Gotham and Lois's efforts to get an interview with that "superman" who was flying around Metropolis. It would be a good way to spend the evening.


AN: And thus ends the initial part of the Divergence, this is the issue that leads directly into Stalemate, which is the main first arc of this series that actually features Dick Grayson! Which, to be fair, was the entire point of ThreeBlackCats and mine. What would happen to Dick if Bruce had a relatively normal childhood?
Thank you for following along so far and feel free to let us know what you think! Or come scream at me on tumblr, (eastoniablogs) if you want to know more about this Elseworld!.