Re:Form -Elior Stories
Warning: I'm an Anime only so most of the lore may be wrong or changed in this story(maybe ı would even forget lore given by anime too sometimes ıdk). So ı'm sorry for those. (But ı also started reading novels and looking at extra lore so you can see them here as well)
Opening: /PbYuWBJiG-k
Still Hidden Wounds:
It was another day at Elior Forest. Since the beginning of their new journey Subaru has never been able to find enough alone time with himself. He never was able to catch a break and think alone.
In one way he didn't want to be alone, knowing it makes him think. He didn't want to think. Think about what's going on with his life, what's going on with people around him. But he couldn't hold himself from the urge.
But today was different. Today he found that time.
"Emilia-tan, I'm going to take a walk outside for a while. You can look for the others right?", Subaru asked.
"Is everything alright Subaru?", Emilia asked.
"Yeah don't worry. Just I wanna take a small walk in the forest.", Subaru said.
"Alright then. Just be careful around it. It may not look like it but there is some dangerous and deadly stuff in the forest. Make sure you are near here and don't touch anything you don't know.", Emilia said in a worried voice.
"Don't worry I will be fine.", Subaru said and left the cave.
After he left the cave he looked at a place to hide himself. To be alone. He found somewhere in the woods. Somewhere he hopes no one can look for him as he stands there alone.
Along with a few rocks and trees there was also a small ice field. He did hate the cold as well. Like so many things it only reminded him of misery and pain. He even remembered his frozen corpses broken, shattered.
As he sits on the cold ice field his thoughts start to haunt him more and more. He still couldn't show this to Emilia or anyone else. The pain he feels. The thought of death. Not just for him but for everyone he loves. Thought of all the mistakes he can make, all the mistakes he did make. As he thinks about them he sees the millions of corpses he had created.
It's so painful that the only way for him to counter that mental pain is a real one. He held his arm as the thought of the real pain came. He did things that would be considered crazy, his hatred for himself caused so many things he regretted but did anyway, never telling anyone about them. Because he didn't want them to know. The body people could see was healthy and clean but inside it was bloody and painful. He was scared to open up. But also a side of him wanted to open up to them. The only one who knew of their existence was a spirit. Who doesn't even remember what they have been through now. The only one who he can't hide them from was gone too.
He swore to the world that he was gonna get her back. Make her happy again. But now they were away from each other again. Subaru knew what she was talking about and it made him furious that he couldn't stop her from thinking that. Especially after he already did.
He touched his arms. Try to feel the pain but he didn't feel anything. He wanted that pain to prevent himself from thinking. But it was nowhere. He took away his jacket and looked at his body but it was clean. Nothing was there. No reminder, nothing. Just like a clean page.
Was it the work of the time travel he and Emilia went through? Did that magic do something more than just a simple time travel? He didn't know. Like the new world he is in, his body was like a clean page. But he still felt the past haunt him. Make him fear and hate.
Right now the only real pain he was feeling was the cold of the ice he was sitting on, which he felt was not enough. He should be suffering, he should be. After letting Rem lose her memories, seeing Betty again waiting for her death, making Emilia suffer the same fate as he does, he deserves to suffer.
He thought he only ruined their lives more than anything else just by existing. But then he realized something.
He took a sharp looking ice in his hand. Hold it tight to feel the pain. He wanted to use it to feel the pain. Not just the pain of cold but the pain of the memory they represent. A frozen corpse breaking apart after hurting the people he loves. He directed the sharp ice to his arm, ready to start.
But even in this state of mind he heard someone's voice.
"Subaru, where are you?" Rem's voice came from the woods.
"My little protector…", Subaru said.
He thought of Rem. How she was alive again. And he wanted her to smile at him again. No matter what. As he thought of her he thought of everyone else. As he thought of the three kids that were with them now, he thought how seeing him like this would scare them, would make them sad. He had to be stronger than this. Not just for himself, but for them and for her.
"Subaru please! Where are you?", Emilia's voice came from the woods.
"Emilia…"
He knew she was in the same boat as him now. And he knew she was struggling. All the revelations she heard from others. All the lies she had to endure. All the lies he told her. She had no reason to be with him. After he lied and hurt her multiple times. But he knew she cared. That's why he loved her. She cared. And he no longer had an excuse to lie to her. But he knew he could never tell her the truths about himself. He can't talk about all of his deaths and he never even forgot one of them but most importantly he knew he can't talk about this.
He looked at the icicle in his hands, reflecting his face.
"What am I doing…?", Subaru said to himself.
Slowly, he put it back on the ground and took a deep breath.
He walked back. All of his thoughts took an hour. An hour of just standing on ice and thinking.
As he saw others and they saw him, he saw the worried face of his family.
He saw them running to him.
"Subaru what did you do there!?", Emilia said with a worried voice.
"I…", Subaru thought they saw him.
"We worried you were lost!", Emilia-chan said.
"Stupid Barusu, always causing problems", Ram said.
"Don't go anywhere without me", Rem said, scared.
He saw the worried eyes of her and everyone else.
He kneeled to Rem and patted her head.
"Sorry, I guess I stayed a bit too long and got lost. Don't worry I'm fine alright… Thanks to you.", Subaru said with a small smile.
Rem was not expecting the compliment. She stayed silent.
"You don't understand Subaru, there are more dangers here than you think. Things like Kurohebi's poison and Mabeasts. You should not be alone in this forest.", Emilia said.
Subaru nodded.
"I'm sorry. I will be more careful next ti- Haha-HAPSHU!", Subaru sneezed.
"Oh great, he got cold.", Ram pointed out.
"Nono I-I'm fin- HAPSHU!", Subaru sneezed again.
"Subaru come inside now.", Emilia said with a serious voice.
"Wait, what are you gonna do?", Subaru asked
"You will rest while we prepare something to eat for you.", Emilia said.
"Oh okay…", Subaru accepted his fate.
"Why are we taking him home if he got ice?", Emilia-chan asked.
-The End
Writer's note: I know I have been gone for a… while… I have been burned out from Re:Zero for a while so I wasn't able to give my mind about this both because of burnout and my college and stuff. Still I may be slow because of college but other than that. I'm back! I will do a few more of these before the normal story continues(there is a reason). So I hope you enjoy these little stories.
