Chapter 4: Leap of Faith
The next morning, John woke up at his usual early hour. He heard movement below, so he got dressed and went downstairs. Mrs. Baldwin greeted him and told him she would have breakfast started shortly.
"Thank you, Mrs. Baldwin. I am going for a walk now, so please do not hurry on my account.
The sun was just rising when John stepped out into the crisp morning air. He set out in a different direction than he and Margaret had walked yesterday. It was not long before he came up on a beautiful house with roses growing all around the property. John saw people moving about inside the house, so he kept his distance.
John recalled Margaret's description of the vicarage, from her description, this must be the home of her childhood. He took in every detail of the home from the large leaded glass windows covered with lace curtains, just as the windows in the Crampton house had been. The house was quite large and had a large, covered porch on the back. How different this lovely home was from the tiny little house in Crampton.
As John turned to leave the property, a spot of yellow caught his eye. He walked over to the hedgerow and there it was, a single perfect rose. He plucked it and held it to his nose to inhale its sweet fragrance. He put the bloom in his pocket and decided to walk to the lake where he spoke to Margaret yesterday.
The blue water of the clear lake sparkled in the morning sun. John took a seat on the bench he had shared with Margaret yesterday.
He had to clear his thoughts and decide how to tell Margaret of his love for her. The first time he had declared his love for her, it had come as an unwelcome surprise to her, and this time, he wanted to do things right.
John stood up and lifted his head to the sky. He prayed for the courage and the wisdom to make his feelings known to Margaret in a way that would be welcomed to her.
He made his way back from the inn.
When he entered the dining room, Margaret and Dixon were having tea. Margaret asked him to join them.
"Where have you been this morning, Mr. Thornton?"
"Out for a walk. I came upon what I believe is the vicarage. It is quite beautiful, and just as you described it."
"It is, and it was a happy home for our family."
Dixon excused herself and went upstairs to pack their things.
"Miss Hale, I will leave on the 11:00 train today to go to London. When are you returning?"
Margaret was dreading leaving, but replied, "Captain Lennox will arrive on the 11:00 train, and will escort Dixon and I to London on the 12:00 train."
John said, "I will delay my return by an hour then, and escort you and Dixon to the train station. It will save Captain Lennox the trip to Helstone."
Margaret was glad to have another hour in his company.
They finished their breakfast and John asked her to see the church.
When they got to the church, they went in and sat on a pew together. They were the only two in the church, and for a short while, they just sat there, enjoying the peace of the moment.
At least, that is what Margaret thought. John was a bundle of nerves.
Margaret asked him if he was ready to go, and he said yes.
When they left the church, Margaret asked where he wanted to go next.
He suggested a short walk to the edge of a grove of trees. They were still in public view, but it would be private enough for the conversation he needed to have with her.
He offered his arm, and she took it.
When they got to the edge of the trees, he turned to her. He took her hands in his and took a leap of faith that she would be receptive to his words.
"Margaret, I have loved you from the first moment I met you, and that love has only grown with time. Nothing, not even the thought that you loved another, could change the love I have for you. I know I told you any foolish passion I felt for you was over, but that was a lie. It will never be over, my dearest."
Margaret smiled at him and squeezed his hand. He carefully scanned her face looking for any signs that his words were unwelcomed, and he did not see any, so he felt encouraged to continue.
"I want to marry you, Margaret. I want to be your best friend, to have children with you, and to grow old with you. I have little to offer you now other than my heart, for it is surely yours, but in one year, when I return from America, we can be wed."
John got down on one knee, and said, "My dearest love, will you marry me?"
Margaret pulled him up to her, and answered, 'Yes, John, I will marry you."
John pulled her deeper into the woods for privacy, and he held her close. She could feel his heart racing against her cheek.
John tilted her chin up and bent down to kiss her.
"Margaret, finally, my Margaret."
'Yes, I am yours, and finally, you are my John."
Margaret took his face in her hands, and looked him directly in the eyes, "I have loved you for so long, John, and thought you were forever lost to me. I cannot tell you how dear you are to me."
The two stood there, locked in each other's arms until they heard someone coming.
Reluctantly, they broke apart and began to walk back to the inn.
John went upstairs to pack his things and to collect his thoughts. He could barely contain his joy, and he took a moment to revel in it. She loved him!
They would be apart for a year, but then he would come back to England so they could marry. They could exchange letters and she could plan the wedding in his absence.
John hired a carriage to take them to the station. They thanked the Baldwin's and left the inn. Dixon was keeping her eye on John and Margaret. They had yet to tell her of their engagement, because John needed to speak to Margaret's family. He would start with Captain Lennox since John wanted to sit next to Margaret on the two-hour journey to London.
When they arrived at the station, it was but a few minutes before Captain Lennox stepped off the train from London. He and John had met at the Great Exhibition.
Captain Lennox greeted the ladies and then turned to John, "Thornton, I am surprised to see you here. Thank you for escorting the ladies to the station. Are you traveling to London as well?"
"Yes, I am on business. I have taken the liberty of getting the ladies their tickets and seeing to their luggage. Let's get them over to the bench to sit, and then, may I have a word with you?"
"Yes, of course."
The two men got the ladies seated, and walked away from them for privacy.
Captain Lennox turned to John and asked, "What is on your mind, Thornton?"
"As you are the man of the family in London, I want you to be aware that I have asked Miss Hale to marry me, and she has said yes. We are to be married once I return from America. I will be working there for one year."
The captain was both surprised and dismayed. This news would be most unwelcome to both his wife and his brother, Henry. His wife was encouraging a match between Henry and Margaret. However, the Captain did have affection for Margaret, and considered her much like a sister.
"Why are you going to America, Thornton?"
John explained, "My mill has failed, and it is now being run under a new mill master. I did not have the capital other mill masters had to ride out the extra expenses due to the strike. I had invested heavily in new equipment but did not have the skilled labor I needed, due to the strike, to produce high-quality cotton. In the end, I chose to close the mill while I was still able to pay my debts."
John continued, "I was offered a job in America by a man I met at the Great Exhibition to improve his mill operations in Lowell, Massachusetts. He liked many of the ideas I shared with him about how I ran my mill. I will earn enough money to support a wife, and to hopefully start a new enterprise in England once I return.
Maxwell asked, "Are you aware that Margaret is an heiress, and owns many properties in Milton?"
John replied, "Yes, but I only learned that information yesterday. Margaret said she would have offered me a loan to keep the mill running, but I am glad I did not know that. Even though the law says that what is hers is mine when we marry, I will want Margaret to retain control over her fortune. I will provide for my wife and children on my own."
The captain was impressed with John's integrity, and it raised his opinion of Thornton.
"As Margaret is of age now, Thornton, she does not need permission to marry. I must be honest and tell you this news will not be welcomed in London. My mother-in-law, Mrs. Shaw, expects Margaret to make a society marriage, and my wife is encouraging Margaret to marry my brother, Henry."
John did know Henry Lennox was interested in Margaret. Bell had said so at Mrs. Hale's funeral and he had seen it for himself at the Great Exhibition.
"Captain, I will speak to Mrs. Shaw when we get to London. Margaret and I want both of our families to give us their blessings, of course."
Captain Lennox warned John, "Mrs. Shaw will not give it easily, so be prepared for her to raise many objections. None the least will be Margaret living in the mill house with your formidable mother. She spoke of how your mother did not even offer for them to sit or offer tea when Margaret came to tell your family goodbye."
John remembered the disdain on Mrs. Shaw's face when they had visited the mill house on Margaret's last day in Milton. His mother and Mrs. Shaw barely tolerated each other for the short time they were in each other's presence, and he was ashamed of his mother's lack of manners that day.
John would not be deterred, "Thank you, for the warning. I am asking you for the right to sit next to Margaret on the ride to London as her fiancé."
The captain sympathized with Thornton and agreed. He would be a careful observer of the two on the trip back to London. He wanted to see if Margaret revealed her feelings for Mr. Thornton. She was reserved, as most young women of society were taught to be, but if he saw evidence that Margaret truly loved John Thornton, he would be an ally in their match.
The men walked back to where the women were seated, and soon after, the train to London pulled into the station.
John helped Dixon board the car, and then turned to help Margaret. He whispered to her to sit on the opposite bench from Dixon. He then got in and sat next to Margaret.
Dixon sputtered in indignation. "Miss Margaret! You must come and sit next to me. It is not proper for you to sit next to Mr. Thornton.
Captain Lennox took his seat next to Dixon, and said, "I gave them permission, Dixon."
He smiled at Margaret and asked her if she had any news to share.
"Yes, Maxwell I do have news to share."
Margaret took Dixon's hands in hers, and said, "Mr. Thornton and I are to be married, Dixon, and I hope you will be happy for us."
Dixon just shook her head. Her dear mistress had married for love and look at how that ended. No, Miss Margaret needed to marry a society man and remain in London with the family.
"Miss Margaret, it does not matter what I think, but I think you should be prepared for objections from your Aunt Shaw and Cousin Edith."
Captain Maxwell agreed, and Margaret looked over at him.
"Margaret, you know what the family wants, and it can hardly come as a surprise to you that this news will not be met as you wish it to be. However, I will support you if this marriage is what you truly want. I have seen your sadness for far too many months now, and I want very much to see you happy again."
The rest of the trip passed pleasantly enough. John and Margaret were determined to make the most of the time they had together and decided not to dwell upon their reception in London.
Captain Lennox discreetly observed the couple. John Thornton wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was clear for anyone to see that he loved Margaret. The couple spoke in quiet tones to one another, and John often smiled at her. Margaret smiled more in the two-hour trip back to London than Maxwell had seen her smile since she had returned to her family.
It was clear to the captain the couple was in love, and even though it pained him to see it for Henry's sake, there was no denying what was before his own eyes.
"Margaret, I think John needs to go to his hotel tonight and allow you to speak privately to Mrs. Shaw and my wife first. I am afraid Henry is coming to dinner tonight. In my experience as a soldier, it is best to be strategic if you want to win not only the battle, but the war. Make no mistake, my dear, you are going to have to defend your choice."
"I can be an ally, but Edith is my wife, and Henry is my brother. I will have to be careful in my support, so I do not alienate either of them."
Margaret nodded and looked at John.
He could hardly be offended that her family might raise objections to the marriage. He knew his own mother and sister would as well.
John said, "I have a meeting with Mr. Martin tonight at his hotel. I can call tomorrow morning at 10:00, if that is acceptable."
Margaret nodded in agreement. She was a bundle of nerves, and she had a knot in her stomach just thinking of facing the confrontation with her family. She decided to speak to them before dinner.
Margaret looked over at Dixon, "Please allow me to relate this news. Aunt Shaw and Edith must hear it from me."
Dixon agreed to not say a word to anyone.
The train pulled into the station. Maxwell and Dixon saw to the luggage, and the couple had a moment of privacy. Neither wanted to be parted so soon after becoming engaged, but they would see each other tomorrow.
John made his way to the hotel he was to meet Mr. Martin at. He checked into his room, ordered a bath, and put away his clothes.
Today, he had finally won Margaret's heart at last. He sat down on the bed and thought of how lucky he was. The failure of the mill had become a blessing in disguise. If the mill had not failed, he would not have been in Helstone at the same time as Margaret, nor would he have accepted the job in America that would allow him to forge a new path forward in his life.
He tried not to think about being away from Margaret for twelve long months, but there was no other choice. He could not support her yet, so they could not marry until he returned.
He got dressed for his meeting with Mr. Martin. He hoped Margaret's conversation with her family had gone better than Maxwell had predicted it would.
