"Hey Boy Wonder, I think I found her," Garcia tells him, and Spencer quickly says he'll be there shortly, practically sprinting from his apartment.

It has been seven months since Seattle and Spencer has been looking everywhere to try and find Elle, so of course he gets to the BAU as quickly as he can and hurries to Garcia's office. The only other person here is Hotch, and Spencer is thankful for that.

"Hey Garcia, what'd you find?" he asks quickly.

"Alright, so I found a murder in Albuquerque, New Mexico that matches Elle's m.o. Same wounds and cause of death and the victim had been accused of rape twice but the first time our victim only served three months of jail time and the second time the victim refused to testify and they had no other evidence," she tells him, and he notes that hint of sadness in her voice when she mentioned Elle.

"That's gotta be her," he says before hesitating about what to do next. "I'm gonna talk to Hotch about it. He'll probably want to go over it with the team before we do anything."

She looks up at him sensing his concern anxiety, but not realizing some of the reason for it. "Sounds good. We'll help her, don't you worry."

Spencer can only nod before heading out of her office, and straight to his desk. Hotch isn't paying attention so he quickly grabs his things and leaves, heading straight for the airport and as soon as he boards the plane he completely shuts off his phone. He doesn't want them to follow him and he knows this will buy him at least a little extra time.

Spencer knows what he's doing is not going to go over well with Hotch or the rest of the team, but he feels as though he has to do this. A few hours later he has landed in Albuquerque and begins his search, hoping he can find her before she disappears again.

"Hey baby girl, have you seen Reid?"

Garcia spins around in her chair to face Morgan and says with confusion, "He's not here? He was here earlier."

"Nope. Blake and JJ haven't heard from him either," he replies, shaking his head.

She's about to say something else when she makes the connection. Why else was he the one who wanted her to keep track of any murders similar to the case with Elle? She'd been told some of what happened and she should've known this would happen.

She panics and stands up, hurrying out of her office followed by Morgan.

"Garcia what's wrong?" he asks, concerned.

"I think I know where our boy wonder went. I need to talk to Hotch," she says quickly as she climbs the steps to his office and knocks before heading inside.

"Garcia what's wrong?" Hotch asks.

"Did Spencer come talk to you about Elle this morning?" she asks, clearly worried, and Hotch looks at her in confusion.

"No he did not."

"Then I know where he is. He's in New Mexico,"

"New Mexico?!" Hotch asks incredulously. "He just left and flew to New Mexico?!"

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't think this wo–" Garcia starts before Hotch interrupts.

"You don't have to apologize, Garcia. You didn't do anything wrong." Hotch tells her. "Reid said he was gonna come talk to me about what you found?"

Garcia nods. "Yes, because I found a murder from a few days ago in Albuquerque that matches Elle's m.o. And he said he would tell you so the team could go over it."

Hotch rubs his eyes and sighs again. "I wish I could say I'm completely surprised by this but that would be a lie. Garcia, can you gather the team so we can go over this case? I need to check something and then I'll meet everyone at the roundtable."

"Yes sir!" she says before quickly heading out of his office to gather everyone.

The team is sitting at the roundtable waiting for Hotch.

"Garcia, is this about Spence?" JJ asks, since they have yet to see any sign of him still.

"Yeah," Garcia replies and before she can say anything else Hotch arrives and nods to her to begin the briefing.

"Alright so you are heading to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Two days ago twenty-four year old Brian Douglas was found dead in his home. No sign of forced entry and his cause of death was a gunshot to the heart. He was also tortured and castrated before he died. Mr Douglas had been accused of rape twice, the first of which he only served three months of his sentence and the second one he got out of because the victim refused to testify and they didn't have any other evidence."

The team looks at each other as they recognize the methods.

"So are we thinking this is Elle?" Morgan asks and Garcia nods.

"Who's Elle?" Alex asks.

"Elle Greenaway. She used to be a member of this team. She got shot and never really recovered. Then she panicked and forced our hand against a serial rapist and after he was let go she killed him. It was ruled self-defense but most of us have our doubts," Morgan replies, figuring he might as well give her the full story.

"And seven months ago we were called out to Seattle after two men were killed in the exact same way. Elle was a detective at the local precinct but everything began pointing to her. Spence went to talk to her, which they did after she had sedated him and tied him up. She didn't harm him though," JJ finishes.

"Wow," Alex says and the others nod in agreement with that sentiment.

"So where is the kid then? I'd assume he would make sure he was on this case even if he was dying," Rossi says, eliciting laughs from the group.

"Reid's in Albuquerque," Hotch says, and silence falls over the group.

"And he's there to find Elle isn't he?" Morgan asks and Hotch nods. "Son of a bitch! I thought he wasn't gonna do this again after last time!"

"Apparently once he found out about the killing from Garcia he said he was going to come tell me about it, so we could all discuss it. However, Reid instead left and used one of his personal days for the reason why he was not at work today and he shut his phone off as well," Hotch explains.

"That kid never takes time off, he's probably got enough to take an entire year off," Rossi jokes, and it successfully lightens the mood a bit.

"We need to get to Albuquerque and find both of them. Wheels up in twenty," Hotch says and the team disperses. Rossi grabs his go bag and follows Hotch back into his office to talk.

"You doing okay Aaron?" he asks while Hotch grabs his go bag.

Hotch nods unconvincingly and Rossi gives him a look to show he's not buying it. Hotch sighs and says, "Dave I should've known he was going to do this, because when has Reid ever done the best thing for himself? I thought that after Seattle he was at the very least going to keep us in the loop the next time something happened, not just decide to go to Albuquerque alone. If it wasn't for Garcia we wouldn't even know he was gone!"

"This isn't your fault Aaron. Even if we knew he was gonna do something like this we couldn't have stopped him. The kid is smarter than both of us, he would've figured out some way to get there," Rossi says with a smile.

"Yeah but–" Hotch starts before Rossi interrupts him.

"No buts! This isn't your fault. He's an adult who made his own decision, and while collectively we all agree it was a very stupid decision, especially for a genius, there's nothing we can do except for flying out there and finding him," Rossi says. "And once we find him then you, me and everyone else can let him know exactly how much we worry about him when he pulls a stunt like this. And then we will make sure he knows exactly what we think of this little move."

"Alright, you've made your point," Hotch says with fake annoyance, unable to help the grin on his face. "Thanks Dave."

"Of course. Now let's go find our lost genius," he says with a smile as they head out.

Spencer finds her surprisingly quickly. He's looking through records of females at local apartments and hotels when he sees it. She's using a fake name, which isn't very surprising to him. Elle is staying in a motel on the outskirts of the city, under the name Reagan Wayne.

It's early afternoon when he arrives at the motel, and after glancing around he can tell this is not the best of places. He hurries inside and up to her room. He stands there mentally preparing himself for what's to come before he knocks.

Soon the door swings open to reveal the face of Elle, and Spencer thinks of how similar this is to what happened in Seattle. She doesn't look surprised or even annoyed at his presence, rather she looks more indifferent like she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't. I mean, she knows she has every advantage when it's just the two of us.

She waves him inside. "Took you long enough. I was beginning to think the great Doctor Reid had forgotten about me," she says in a light tone.

"I've been looking for you since Seattle, but I honestly hadn't expected you to wait this long before you killed someone again," he says and she just shrugs.

"Fair point I guess. But how do you know that this was the first time since Seattle?" and Spencer pauses thinking about that and knowing they'll have to do some more digging later just to be sure. She moves towards him and he flinches. Although he tries to play it off, she doesn't buy it. Elle had never been one to let him off the hook easily about anything, which was something he missed.

She raises an eyebrow at his reaction so he says, "Well the last time we were together like this you kind of drugged me and tied me to a chair, and then drugged me again."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine I promise I won't drug you or tie you up again. Happy?"

Spencer nods and she gestures to a chair for him to sit in, while she sits on the edge of bed.

"So, you still here to help me?" she asks and he nods.

"Elle, just come back to Quantico with me. The whole team wants to help you so let us," he says quickly.

"Very direct huh? At least buy me dinner first," she says with a laugh, although Spencer doesn't entirely get it so Elle sighs with a bit of fondness for his cluelessness. "I believe that you want to help me Spencer, but I know that I'll also go to prison, probably for life. So I'm gonna have to pass."

"Okay yes you do need to face justice for what you've done, but we both know that there is decent potential for a jury to be on your side and I just don't think it's going to go that poorly. And I promise I'll be there for you the entire time no matter what," he says earnestly.

Elle groans. "How are you still being so kind to me? And why are you so intent on helping me? I've killed people that according to you I shouldn't've and I would do it again without hesitation. I left you without a word. Not even a goodbye. I drugged you and tied you to a chair in my apartment! How are you still so sure I deserve help?" she questions, trying to push him and find any cracks.

She can tell Spencer is upset now, but it's not anger, it's hurt and sadness. "I want to help you because I will always think you deserve it, and because you're my friend Elle. So what you left, who cares! Because before that you were here and you were part of our family."

Elle scoffs and she sees him wince before looking into his hazel eyes to see pure hurt and pain, which does make her feel bad. She doesn't acknowledge the statement beyond her scoff before saying, "Since I know you remember our conversation from Seattle, I guess it's time we really talk huh?"

Spencer nods, and she can still see the hurt in his eyes from her previous reaction. At least he tried to help me. That's more than I can say for anyone else so why am I trying to hurt him like this?

She doesn't let the thought go any farther and she says,"Alright. Then why don't you tell me what happened to you Spencer?"

He struggles to speak for a few moments and Elle sits there patiently, already knowing this is going to hurt them both. She's content to let him ramble until he tells her everything he wants to in his unique way, and she's fairly certain he knows that. "So uh a couple months after you left, there was a case in Georgia. It appeared that a group of unsubs was killing people they believed were sinners. JJ and I went to interview a potential witness, Tobias Hankel." he visibly pales at the mention of the name and she wonders if maybe this is a bad idea.

"But he wasn't a witness was he?" she asks and he nods.

"We figured it out and he ran from the house towards his barn. I suggested we split up and I went around back while JJ went inside. It was such a stupid decision on my part," he says and she can tell how much her beats himself for that among a multitude of other things as well. "I saw movement in the cornfield behind the barn and followed, but then I heard her scream. I found out later JJ was attacked by a group of dogs, the same group that the unsub live streamed ripping a woman apart. I ran and yelled but suddenly I was on the ground and Tobias had a gun pointed at me. Turns out it was one unsub with three personalities. Himself. His father, Charles. And the archangel Raphael," Spencer shakily tells her.

"Next thing I know I wake up tied to a chair in some cabin and Charles is burning fish hearts and livers to "keep away the devil." I was there for three days, and Charles beat me badly. He live streamed it to the team who were at his house and had a revolver he would use for roulette with me saying it was "God's will"."

Elle can't hide her shock at all of this and she knows it's only going to get worse, and she doesn't want to say anything to interrupt because he is clearly solely focused on being able to tell her about this at the moment.

"Tobias actually tried to help me. He was the reason I wasn't killed back in the cornfield. But uhm he had a bad drug habit due to the abuse from his father and he started giving me some to help ease the pain. Dilaudid cut with a psychedelic," Spencer says, and he looks up to see the astounded and confused look in her eyes. "Yeah we can talk more about that later. Eventually the chair fell backwards and when I hit the ground I had a seizure. And then…" he trails off, and she almost doesn't want him to continue but she needs to know what changed the boy genius so much.

"I uhm… well I died. And the team watched that too. Eventually Tobias came back inside and resuscitated me, but I actually died, Elle. And I've never really figured out how to deal with that completely. It's always something that's bothered me a little bit still." he says, unable to make eye contact.

"Once I came back Raphael forced me to choose a member of the team to die and I refused as he kept playing roulette with a revolver. Eventually I chose Hotch and gave them a message to help find me because I knew he would understand it. But then during one of the highs from the Dilaudid, I hallucinated when I put my mom in a psychiatric facility when I turned eighteen even though she didn't want me to. I couldn't stay there with her and she couldn't take care of herself so I had to. But uh anyways then I had to dig my own grave because of my sin, but when Charles got distracted I was able to get the revolver and shoot him. But he didn't die. Tobias did and Tobias didn't deserve to die, he didn't deserve any of it. But the team found me and brought me home…" he says trailing off, and Elle can tell he's mostly done it seems. Or at least he's done with that incident.

"Oh Spencer…" she says, unsure of anything to say after he just revealed probably the worst time of his life to her.

"And yeah I got addicted to Dilaudid because of that but eventually I got myself clean. The team couldn't say anything because then I could've lost my job."

"But that's not a good enough reason for them letting this happen," Elle says, a bit of anger at the team rising up in her chest.

"I know, but my job was the only thing keeping me going for a while. But I got clean and then Gideon left. And he left a letter addressed to me, just like my dad," he says with a broken laugh. "And so many other things have happened. I almost died from anthrax, I got shot in the leg and couldn't walk without crutches or a cane for months, JJ was forced out of the team for a while, Emily "died" but then came back months later. There's definitely more, but I'd rather not continue on this journey through my trauma and pain anymore if that's alright with you?" he asks, attempting a smile, but only managing a smile that does nothing to hide his pain, and seemingly highlights it.

"Yeah of course," she replies and then once he looks at her she holds her arms out in a silent question. Spence nods and she wraps her arms around him pulling into a tight hug and soon he wraps his arms around her as well as they stand there for a few minutes, just holding each other.

The team is at the local precinct trying to figure out where they may be. Hotch tried to have Garcia track Spencer, but his phone has been completely off since he was at the airport back in Virginia and has not been turned back on once.

They're frustrated about the lack of any good leads and worried about Spencer, and are just hoping they find him soon.

It's later in the day now and Elle and Spencer are still in her room talking, and she's clearly avoiding talking about herself very much.

"Alright so are you gonna tell me about what happened to you now?" he asks suddenly.

"What do you mean what happened to me? You already know what happened," she says quickly, and she's showing increasing anxiety at the moment he notices.

"Of course I know about Garner. But you and I both know that that is not what I'm talking about," Spencer tells her as his eyes show concern and determination.

"Reid, stop. Nothing happened that suddenly caused me to start going after these men. I just finally got fed up with them and chose to," she replies, trying to sound stern, but they both can tell her voice is shaky and unsure.

"You know, we were wondering why you waited five years to start killing because it seemed so strange to kill someone, and then go five years before doing it again. But our conversation in your apartment gave me a hunch," Spencer says, knowing that he's at the point of no return and that this can either go well or it can go really, really poorly for him. Her rage and anger have been obvious on the bodies of her victims, and if that comes out here he's in real danger. He sees a few emotions flit across her face, and is fairly sure she knows where he's going with it. "Not long after we got back from Seattle I did some digging and it didn't take long to find what I was looking for."

"Reid," she says venomously. "Don't."

"I am so sorry that happened to you Elle. I wish I could've been there for you an–" he continues before she interrupts him.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Elle, I know what he did to you. And I know nothing was done about it, and then he died in a car crash so you never got to make sure he was punished. So you started taking out your anger and desire for revenge on other men that reminded you of him, hoping it would make you feel better. "

"Reid…" she says and he continues, knowing that this is not looking great for him at the moment.

"And it does help or at least you make yourself believe it does because you're punishing him over and over while hopefully protecting others from a similar incident. But over time it's not helping as much and the nightmares not only won't go away but are getting worse and you won't talk about it with anyone so it only gets worse and worse. Until you can't handle it anymore and you snap and maybe you see him everywhere and can't get away or maybe you just can't look at any man anymore without that constant fear and anger no matter what."

"SHUT UP!" she yells and she quickly moves away from and he quickly figures out from her body language and the fact she is slightly shaking, that something is wrong.

Spencer said the wrong thing. He'd pushed too hard. He could see the sudden change in her demeanor and her eyes. She isn't completely there anymore, but he knows where she is.

She turns away from him and he reaches out, not thinking of what a bad idea it is until it's too late. He lightly grasps her shoulder and he feels her entire body tense. He immediately withdraws his hand, mentally hitting himself for making such an obvious error, but before he can think on that too much she whirls around and throws a hard right hook into his face, sending Spencer sprawling to the floor, hurt and momentarily stunned.

"Don't. Touch. Me," she growls and she sends a sharp kick to his ribs while he slowly tries to get back up, and he drops back down gasping for breath. He looks up at her and can tell she's seeing something else. Someone else. Her eyes show a mix of fury and hatred, but also of fear.

"You can't hurt me anymore. I won't let you hurt me or anyone else ever again!" she exclaims as she kicks him again and again, and soon Spencer is certain that at least a couple ribs are broken. She stands over him before crouching down to get closer to him. She starts throwing punch after punch into his face and body. He tries to push her away but he's too weak from the blows, and it's not like he could overpower her on a good day, plus as soon as his hands make contact with her to try to get her away she hits him with more fury. It's also not her fault. He pushed her too much and sent her somewhere she didn't want to be, and she is scared and angry.

"You can't touch me! Get your hands off of me!" she screams.

"E-el-elle," he manages to choke out, finding breathing a bit difficult at the moment. She halts her attack, and just stares at him silently, and he feels a bit of hope that he's getting through to her, getting her to snap out of it and come back to this moment. "I-i'm s-s-sorry Elle."

"Spencer?" she asks hesitantly and he can see the recognition flash in eyes, followed quickly by an expression of horror and worry. "Oh fuck!"

"It's n-not your fault. I'm s-sorry," he tells her and she bites back a bitter laugh. Of course he apologizes and accepts the blame, even after he just got beaten. Normally she wouldn't even think of this but there's too much going on and too many emotions being felt so for a second she thinks he's not entirely wrong. She told him to stop but he just kept talking and pushing her. She didn't want to relive that night but he forced it upon her. He didn't necessarily know that's what he was going to cause, but he probably could've thought of it. Either way, he still didn't deserve to be this hurt.

She's pulled out of her thoughts when Spencer lets out a rough, painful cough. She looks at him again and his eyes have widened a bit as he looks at his hand, which has a few new specks of blood on it. He's bleeding internally and he doesn't look good. He's also fading in and out of consciousness. If he dies because of her, Elle will never be able to forgive herself and, she thinks quickly, the team would never leave her alone again.

She grabs her phone and dials 911 as she quickly gets all of her belongings together so that she can leave as soon as possible. She finds his phone on him and turns it back on, that way the team will be able to find him as well. She can hear the sirens approaching distantly and knows she has to hurry.

"I'm sorry Spencer. Please don't try to find me again," she tells him.

As she's heading out the door she hears, "See you soon."

Elle freezes at that and looks back at Spencer who's lying on the floor, apparently unconscious again, shaking her head. And then she's gone.

All of a sudden Garcia calls them. "I found him!"

"Good. Where is he?" Hotch asks.

"He's at a motel just outside the city. His phone suddenly turned back on," she says and while they are all happy to finally know where he is, they all get the feeling something isn't right.

"Baby girl, send us the address," Morgan says.

"Will do!" she says before hanging up, which is followed by her sending the address of the motel.

"Alright let's go," Hotch says as the team practically sprint to the SUV's.

It doesn't take them long to get there but when they do the first thing they see is multiple police cars out front and no sign of Spencer. They quickly find out that someone was attacked here and was quickly rushed to the hospital.

JJ and Alex exchange a look as they both have a sickening feeling as they head into the motel. JJ calls Garcia. "Hey Garcia, where is Spence's phone right now?"

"Uhm give me just a sec. It's at, oh god, it's at the University of New Mexico Hospital," she says and JJ looks at Alex before they run to Hotch. "Garcia I'm sure it'll be okay. I'll call you when we know more, okay?"

"Okay," she replies before JJ hangs up and as they make it over to Hotch, who immediately notices something is wrong. Morgan and Rossi are right by him as well.

"What happened?"

"It's Spence. He's in the hospital, Garcia just tracked his phone and it showed he was at UNM," JJ says and Hotch can see the tears forming in her eyes and hears Morgan let out a swear.

He thinks for a moment, trying not to show too much of his own worry right now, because everyone is on the verge of breaking down at the moment. "JJ and Alex, go to the hospital, let us know how he is and stay there with him. The rest of us can examine the crime scene and then we'll be over there okay?"

Everyone nods and disperses. As they head to the hospital Alex and JJ are both tense and worried.

"I'm sure he'll be okay. Spencer's been in worse situations before. He's too stubborn to die," Alex says, which prompts small laughs from both of them.

"Yeah I know. I mean he always gets himself into these situations but usually he's alright in the end," JJ says, not adding that sometimes it has taken him quite a while to become okay again.

"Ten bucks says he immediately asks for or tries to get jello when he wakes up," Alex says with a laugh, drawing JJ out of her worried thoughts.

"That's a guaranteed win for you, so I'll pass," JJ replies with a small grin as they approach the hospital.

Spencer slowly wakes up and immediately feels sore all over. His clothes and bed feel uncomfortable and it takes him a few moments to realize he's in a hospital. It takes him another moment to remember why he's there. He slowly opens his eyes and is thankful that the lights are dimmed. He looks around and sees Alex and JJ sitting on his right, Alex appears to be doing a crossword puzzle and JJ is asleep.

However he sees a cup of jello sitting on the tray next to him, and he can't help himself so he reaches for it and winces in pain, wrapping his arms around his chest.

"Well hello Spencer," Alex says with a smile, getting up and handing him the jello and a spoon.

"Thanks," he says quietly. "How long was I out?"

"Just a few hours. You have a couple broken ribs, a black eye, and lots of bruising on your face and chest. You also had some internal bleeding," she tells him, knowing he was about to ask, and he can tell she was worried. JJ wakes up and smiles when she sees him awake.

"Oh Spence, I'm so glad you're awake!" she says and gives him a light hug.

"Hi Jayje," he replies.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

Spencer shrugs, mumbling, "I'm fine."

Both women give him a look of doubt and mild annoyance. "Okay, not fine. I'm really sore and my chest hurts a lot. That's all that's bothering me."

"Okay. Here you should drink some water," Alex says, handing him a glass, which he quickly drinks. "By the way JJ, he immediately reached for the jello when he woke up, so it's a good thing that you didn't take that bet."

"Hmm?" Spencer asks, confused at that comment while the two women laugh. He shrugs it off though, not caring all that much for the most part. Knowing the team isn't happy with him he also asks, "Where are the others?"

"Checking out the hotel room, the paramedics found you in. They'll be here soon," JJ says.

"How'd you guys find me anyway?" he asks, curious.

"Your phone was turned back on and Garcia tracked it, first to the motel and then to here. What the hell were you thinking Spence?" JJ asks, anger and worry evident in her voice, making it clear he better give a good explanation.

"I thought I could get through to her. I started to get through to her back in Seattle, so I figured I could try again. I just want to help her JJ. She's our friend," he says sadly, not looking up at them.

They both soften a bit at that, before JJ says, "I know Spence, I want to help her too. But you shouldn't have gone after her alone. She could've killed you and she almost did!"

"I'm sorry. I, uh, I guess I miscalculated."

"You miscalculated? Please explain then?" Alex says.

"She didn't mean to hurt me. I pushed too much too much and it spiraled out of control. It was my fault," he replies. "And I did get through to her for a bit, but then it went downhill."

Alex sighs. "Spencer, you were violently beaten and you're saying it's your fault? Why are you like this?"

He just shrugs before asking," So uhm how mad is Hotch?"

"Mad," they hear from the other side of the room and Spencer genuinely shrieks in pure, absolute, terror.

He turns to look at Hotch, who is glaring violently at him. Alex and JJ get up and leave the room, and JJ gives his shoulder a light squeeze before leaving.

Spencer looks anywhere but at Hotch, and they sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Reid," Hotch says sternly. "What the hell were you thinking?"

He looks away again, and mumbles,"I just wanted to help her Hotch. I thought I could do it."

Hotch softens a bit, but is still clearly angry. "I know. But you should've told me. Told us. We would've helped, you know that. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I know I should've told you but I still thought I could get through to her alone."

Hotch sighs. "So what happened? I need to know."

"I confronted her in her hotel room and it got out of hand," he says quickly.

"Out of hand how?"

"I pushed her too much. She didn't mean to hurt me but she couldn't control herself. It was my fault Hotch. I should've done better," he says and Hotch can tell he's fighting back tears and Hotch hurts at seeing him like this. "I was getting through to her. We talked for a while and it was good. I just messed up."

"Reid, it was not your fault. Okay? You did the best you could," Hotch tells him and he can tell the kid doesn't believe him. Spencer quickly mumbles something that Hotch doesn't catch, "What was that?"

"I figured out her trigger. The reason she suddenly started killing in Seattle. And I shouldn't have brought it up. Shouldn't have pushed her so hard about," Spencer says.

"Reid, stop blaming yourself. What was the trigger?" Hotch asks, although he has an idea of what it may be and knows he won't like it.

"Hotch, she was attacked and raped and nothing was done. And then right before the first killing her rapist died in a car crash," Spencer says, voice thick with emotion. "And I pushed her on why she was killing these men and what she gained from it and how it was all affecting her and that's what sent her over the edge. I should've been more careful knowing the rage and anger she had towards these men, but I wasn't.

Hotch's emotionless face shows a rare crack and he takes a second to recompose himself. "Reid. Spencer. I want to help her too. I should've done more after Lee and I didn't. And what's happened to her is absolutely not fair. But that doesn't mean anything she's done is okay and it's no excuse for what happened to you."

"I know that Hotch. But she believes what she's doing is right and I'm fairly certain nothing will change that," Spencer replies, clearly not entirely believing him.

"I know, but we've dealt with that before," Hotch says, not willing to say anything more along that line because he knows that they probably both feel the same way about comparing her to other unsubs. Spencer looks exhausted now and Hotch figures he's had enough for one day.

"I failed. Again." Spencer says suddenly and it makes Hotch kind of angry that he is thinking this way.

"Spencer, listen to me. You did not fail, you did the absolute best you could and probably better than any of us could've done. Please stop beating yourself up so much about this. We will find her, okay? I promise but you need to let us help you," Hotch says softly.

Spencer raises his eyes to meet Hotch's gaze before nodding and quietly saying, "Okay."

"Good. Now please get some rest. We'll all be here still when you get up," Hotch says with a smile and Spencer feels sleep rapidly approaching as he slowly nods before falling back asleep.

Thank you all for reading! Was not planning on this fic being anywhere near this long but here we are! I tried really hard to make sure the stuff with Elle and Spencer is realistic and not insensitive so I hope that worked out! I hope you enjoyed!