Bull and Ashton drove to a local bar and restaurant and sat down in an open booth. The waitress came over quickly and Ashton ordered a cranberry juice with lime and soda water. Bull reluctantly followed with a diet soda after the sharp look he received from Ashton when mentioning a whiskey on the rocks. In an attempt to gauge her mood, he gently set his hand over Ashton's and was surprised that she didn't pull away but instead squeezed his fingers. However, when he attempted a bit of small talk about the party he was quickly shut down.
"We didn't come here to talk about the party."
"Quince, I'm sorry I wasn't able to get out here last night. With the trial, I kind of lost track of things," Bull said after their drinks were set down.
"Seeing Diana Lindsay every day must've made it very difficult to concentrate."
Before he could get a word out, Bull's cellphone rang. He looked sheepishly over at Ashton, who told him to answer the phone. He pulled the phone out, looked at the display and quickly returned it to his pocket after sending the call to voice mail.
"You've juggled trials before. I know what I saw outside of court. She is definitely interested in you and you didn't exactly look in a hurry to get away," Ashton said coolly. Bull knew that she was watching his every reaction as much as he was scrutinizing hers. "Benny told me she showed up at TAC later."
"I hope he also told you I showed Diana the elevator shortly after she arrived," Bull said and watched as Ashton nodded. "Before Benny tells you anything else and you get the wrong idea, she turned up at my apartment, too."
Ashton pulled her hand away from his and for a split second a crushing look crossed her face. She recovered her composure quickly and met Bull's gaze with an icy stare. He could almost see her counting to ten while she considered her next move.
"Ash…"
"Did you let her climb your wall?" Ashton asked bitingly. The double entendre wasn't lost on Bull.
"No…No!" he protested under her scrutiny. "How is what you saw different than what I witnessed between you and Mr. Wagner?"
"Do you find it that hard to believe that he's concerned about my dad? Matty's been in my life since I was two; he sees my father every day. You know that."
"I also know he can push your buttons and you're vulnerable right now."
"You think he's taking advantage of me? At least he's making some sort of effort," she retorted.
Ashton watched as one of Bull's eyebrows arched. She knew he was waiting to see her reaction, both voluntary and involuntary.
"I knew you were coming to the party; I told you I was going to dinner with him. I'm not the one hiding anything," she stated calmly.
"I would've told you what happened earlier if the situation allowed."
"Us not communicating was not my idea," Ashton pointed out.
"The trial was about me and my work, not about you, not about us. I was trying to keep the focus where it needed to be. If she knew we were in contact, Diana would've been so much harder on you during questioning."
"You have no idea how hard this has been for me," she said. The last bit of calm escaped her, and Ashton took a sip of her drink in the hopes of steading her voice while her eyes filled with tears. Bull waited quietly for Ashton to continue. His expression softened with concern at her display of emotion and he reached out and gently squeezed her hand.
Ashton went on to explain that as much as she understood Bull's reasoning staying apart, his unavailability along with his interaction with Diana and the uncertainty of her own father's health had proven more difficult to deal with than anticipated.
"Part of it's my own fault, too. After all this time, I should know that when you're focused and determined to win nothing gets in the way, not even the people you care about."
Bull sunk back against the booth, defeated.
"I can read a jury better than anybody and frame an argument to win a case. I counselled patients on how to deal with their problems, but when it comes to my own life…," he said.
"You suck. Good thing only a few of us that know that because no one would want to work with you," Ashton said in between sniffles. She lightly tapped his foot with her own and smiled when Bull's eyes met hers breaking the tension.
"Right now, that doesn't sound all that bad. Ready to get out of here?" he said.
Bull asked the waitress for the bill as she passed by. He quickly paid it and led the way out to the Bentley. As they pulled into parking lot of a nearby hotel, Ashton questioned what they were doing there. Bull explained that he had a room reserved and they could finish their conversation without disturbing her father who could use the rest.
Ashton knew Bull was right and followed him into the hotel. She waited nearby as he checked in and stifled a yawn. When they arrived at the room, Bull put down his bag, unzipped it and pulled out a carefully taped box that he handed to her.
"Aren't you going to open the it?" he asked.
"Brownies?"
"Peace offering…and I need all the help I can get to convince you to stay the night."
"Here? Because you made brownies? I'm not that vulnerable," Ashton said with wide eyes.
"They're triple chocolate," he replied. "I'm joking. This middle-age body needs to stretch out after the drive. You're exhausted, too, even if you won't admit it."
Ashton shrugged half-heartedly at his suggestion that she might be tired but a yawn gave away her weariness. Bull smiled, reached back into the bag and pulled out a bottle.
"I'm pretty sure we both had enough wine with dinner," Ashton said as she took the bottle out of his hand and placed it down next to the brownies.
"If you tossed me out on my ass, it was going to be me drowning my sorrow in brownies and whiskey until morning," he said. Bull kicked his shoes off, propped up pillows against the headboard, and sat down on the king-size bed. He took off his glasses and put them on the nightstand and gestured for her to sit down next to him. Ashton grabbed the one pillow he hadn't commandeered and curled up on her side an arm's distance away.
"Pretty sure you would advise against that, doc," Ashton said.
"Does it look like I take my own advice? I work too much; I drink too much, eat too much take out," he said wryly. Ashton opened her mouth to speak and he held up his hand.
"It's my turn to talk. I don't do well on my own. I don't do well without you. I was reminded just how much when you were on the stand," Bull said after rolling on to his side to face her.
He went on to tell Ashton how much he wanted to call her during the trial, as well as how he had made a mistake in not accompanying her home to see her father. As she listened, a tear slid down her face. When Bull paused, Ashton quietly voiced her fear that they would end up replaying the last few months of our marriage where he was distant and generally unavailable.
"I can't do that. Not now – with everything else," she said as another tear escaped her eye.
"I made some bad decisions the past few days, I should've been here with you. And, I know I messed up a lot of things between us before that. Give me a chance to make it up to you."
"Jason…," Ashton said and sighed.
He reached out and stroked her hair. "I love you, Ash."
Bull's hand lingered and his fingers gently brushed Ashton's cheek. He leaned in closer and kissed the place where his fingers had been before lightly touching his lips against hers. They shared another kiss before he pulled away.
"Sleep on it. You are vulnerable right now and I'm not going to take advantage of that," he said.
Ashton smiled at him drowsily. The events of the day were taking their toll and she fought to keep her eyes open. Bull pushed Ashton's hair away from her face and watched as she closed her eyes and began to drift off. The silence that had descended upon the room was broken by the ring of his cell phone.
