Nightmares of the bottom: Breathing this air
Disclaimer
All I own is the story.
This is a work of fiction based on the Nickelodeon owned properties Victorious and iCarly. The character and references and certain plot lines are owned by Nickelodeon and their respective parties
Robbie wonders through a crowd, a shell of his usual cheery demeanour. He barely pays any mind to his surrounding, evident by the ice-cream stain on his shirt and making no attempt to remove the lollipop stuck to his jean. The sun starts to fall, reddening to a soft glow, welcoming a warm shade of orange to the once blue sky. After some time spent sitting alone on an empty bench reflecting on his thoughts for more than 2 hours, he starts to question if the bystanders around could notice his dread.
"Maybe they can tell I'm a loser that just got stood up?" he thought to himself. Even more negative thoughts would begin to surface as he continued to dig himself even deeper into despair.
Being rejected was not a new concept for him. He could teach a college course on the matter, or that's what he would say half-jokingly, whenever asked how he keeps trying after so many "NO's!".
He disparately wished that today would be different, hoping to have an opposite outcome than what he has come accustomed to. Unfortunately, it seems destiny has not deemed him worthy of the chance.
Looking to the sky in an attempt to keep the tears from raining over his face, the sound of a familiar high pitched voice drags him down to earth. He spots a mop of red velvet hair bobbing in the crowd. The sight made his chest feel like it was tightening with every second.
" She came, she came..." he repeated in whispers. Frantically he starts to wipe down his body in a failed effort to look more presentable. Regret begins to creep in as he curses himself for not removing the lollipop before it hardened onto him.
The girl of Robbie's dreams was a mere few meters away. Her beautiful red curls cascaded over her exposed olive shoulders. From shoes to dress and everything in between all-white. Like an angel sent to bring joy to all that share this world. He could not help but stare. And stare he did, never moving an inch, as black sleeves slithered around her frame, pulling her away from him into the embrace of an unfamiliar person. She looks into his eyes, brown like Robbies, and reaches for his hair as black as his and pulls, leading them to share a kiss. They pull away for only a moment, their eyes never separating as they become lost in each other.
Before their lips would inevitably crash into each other, Robbie decides to make himself scarce and starts running. Not knowing where he was going or even caring so long as it's nowhere near where he was. He was not much of a runner, but that didn't doesn't stop him. Going and going, fighting through the pain of his body, screaming at him to stop. He ignores it as if the moment he stops, the waves of emotions will catch up, crash and pull his sanity out from under him, and he will never be the same again.
After a few minutes, the pain becomes so loud that it can't be ignored, so he gives up and lets his body fall to the ground. With heavy breathing and limbs sprawled across the floor, the tears start to rush out. Louder than he had ever, he screams as the taste of salt makes it to his mouth. Every rejection, every heartbreak began to play on a loop in his head. Not only the memories from the girls he had romantic interests in but the memories of him being socially ostracised by his "friends" and his peers.
Fortunately for him, much like for the past 2 consecutive summers, no one was around. Rolling on to his back, only to be greeted by a not so starry sky, choosing not to move, he laid there for a few minutes trying to think of his next move. Reaching down for his pocket, he fished his phone out and was surprised at how late it had gotten. This made him question how long he had been running and also where he was.
He was so close to calling it quits for the day and uber'ing straight home but realising that his car is still at the pear. He had no choice but to trek it back to his car, and he had left his wallet in the glove compartment, so uber'ing back was off the table from the start. The long walk back was cut short when he found a pretty warn out skateboard just laying trucks up on the sand.
Now in the parking lot, he looks around to see if Cat and the man in black might be in range. Carefully he heads towards his car and looks over to see his windshield, glazed with a few splats of bird droppings on it. Groaning heavily, he pulls a cloth and a half-empty water bottle out from his car. Robbie raises the bottle slightly above his head, and he squirts a bit into his mouth, for all that running and skating made him pretty parched. Rinsing down the windshield with what's left, he wipes down the surface, removing the little gifts the universe left behind for him. Entering his car a little less sad now, he rolls down his windows, and with the roar of his engine, he pulls out of the parking lot.
The silence does little to help Robbie's mood, and after a couple of minutes of driving through the city, he makes it to a red light. He takes this time to reach for his phone, a decision that makes him sigh with regret. When the familiar image of no new notifications pulls him back to the pit of isolation he has felt for the past few months.
Completely spaced and wallowing in his sadness, he never notices the traffic light turn green. A loud hoot from a yellow convertible from behind with its top-down pulls him out of his thoughts. A pair of loud voices can be heard littered with some rather colourful words about his driving and mother. Before he could come up with a response, the car screeches past, leaving behind the teen still idling at the traffic light.
Totally over with today, he decides it's best to go to the one place that makes him happy when he's this down in the dumps. He steps down on the accelerator and ignores the fact he just drove past a red light. He places his hand on the black, half-broken noob and turns up the volume, and Sleepless by Flume begins to gradually fill the car and helps drown out the memories of the day.
Nodding along to the heavy kick's, a smile begins to form, chipping away at his once sad-looking face. He tries his best to keep up with Jezzabell Doran's parts, even attempting her heavily chopped vocals. Although he was butchering the song, he could care less about how he sounded. It wasn't like he was at school or performing on stage. Never the type to be attracted to the limelight. Unless pushed, he mostly opted to operate from behind the scenes.
The night sky is pretty void of any stars, but the bright lights from the buildings alongside the road make up for it,
He pulls into his destination and turns off the ignition. Looking at the sight of the brightly lit dinner in front of him. The boy sat in the car for a few minutes, running through possible social scenarios, before deciding to head out. Greeted by a soft breeze that quickly turns aggressive, he ducks back into his car and wipes out his jacket.
Now ready for the elements, he makes it halfway to the dinner, but then realises he left his wallet behind. Mentally cursing at himself, he spins on his heel and heads in the opposite direction towards his car.
Robbie notices on his trip back how vacant the parking lot is. The only things around is a blue scooter with its front wheel off, a man passing by while pushing a shopping cart filled with blankets, and a dog perched on top. Slowly opening the car door, his eyes never leaving the man with the dog. He successfully pulls out his wallet from under the passenger seat, and that brings a smile to his face. The thought of going back to look for his wallet at the pear was a dreadful one. Flashbacks of him spending 8 hours chopping sushi flood his mind for a moment but are short-lived.
He focuses his gaze back at the dinner, but the man pushing the cart manages to catch his eye. The sight of a man down on his luck and his dog sharing a slice of bread makes Robbie feel guilty about how he had assumed that the man could possibly harm him. Looking down at his wallet, he looks back at the man. Still feeling a bit of anxiety, he decides to walk straight towards the entrance but stops just in front of the door to hand the man a 50 dollar bill. Robbie calls out to the man, due to him steering off up into the sky as if the heavens had the answers he needed he tries again this time managing to get the mans attention. Clear blue eyes meet Robbie's dark brown ones, followed by a smile shared between them before the man reaches out and accept the money.
"It's pretty cool tonight," Robbie says, turning around now also looking off to the sky.
"Yeah! one of the perks of being a hobo in California is the nights aren't so harsh," the man says, now looking up to the teen with black thick frame glasses.
With a light chuckle, Robbie responds, "Yeah! It's way better than New York."
"I'm Robbie and you?" Robbie says looking down to meet the gaze of the man.
Before the man can form a sentence, he takes a close look at the bill Robbie had given him and had become a little loss for words. Stretching out his hand with the 50 loosely held by his fingertips "I think you made a mistake man," he said, feeling a sense of guilt.
Robbie just waves it off, "Nah, keep it, "he said with a smile.
Robbie goes back to looking back at the sky " I feel bad, I am kinda trying to say I'm sorry for thinking you were gonna try and rob me, and also cause I know how hard it is."
The man hesitantly accepts the money and pulls out a little black jar. He unscrews the lid and stuffs the 50 into it. Now with his head dropped, his eyes fixed on the steps, "Bill," he mumbled, still avoiding looking at the young man.
"What?" Robbie said, unable to hear what he had said.
"Bill's my name," the man says, now audible while forcing his head up to look at Robbie.
And with that, Robbie smiles one last time,
"Hope you see better days. I will see you around, Bill,"
"See you around, Robbie," Bill says with a jolly expression as the young and very generous boy disappears into the dinner.
