"This is Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya! We have multiple hull breaches!"
Tali'Zorah's breath caught in her throat at the sound of her old Captain's voice. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she took in the sky, ablaze, and the final transmissions her birth ship would ever make.
That her people would ever make.
Streaks burned through the atmosphere, fiery debris breaking off from the crashing ships; the Flotilla was decimated, her people annihilated. She didn't want to witness the Quarian people's final hour. But she couldn't tear her eyes off the horrific scene unfolding above, nor block the SOS being broadcast.
"Rayya's drive core is offline! All ships in range, please assist! Please assist!"
With a choked sob, Tali remembered her childhood, her friends, her parents. Her life played again in her mind. All her choices led her here, led her people here. She led her people here. She imagined the millions of Quarians fighting for their lives, and for Rannoch, their home world, only to be betrayed at the last possible moment. Tali removed her helmet's visor, discarding it, and felt the sudden chill of the wind on her wet cheeks.
She trusted him. Until the very end, she had held onto the hope he had a plan, a chance for her people. Anything.
She knew the mistakes the Quarian's had made. But the war never felt like one of them, until now.
She finally looked away from the chaos above. In her sorrow, her feet had a mind of their own and she now stood on the edge of the cliff. The calm waters below belied the carnage above, the fireballs in the sky reflected, and those reflections mirrored the despair in her heart.
"Escape pods not responding. All hands... prepare for impact."
A single thought crossed her mind: They're all gone. It's all my fault.
She turned to face the Butcher of Torfan- the Butcher of Rannoch. His back was turned, but he was staring at the same sight she had been. She wanted to hate him for his choice, but it was the same back she had followed all those years. He had been her Captain. He had defended her when no one else would. He had been there for her when her father nearly destroyed the Fleet. He had saved her life more times than she could count. She loved him. He murdered her people, and she loved him. She could never stop loving him.
Her lips trembled into a small smile as she remembered his confession. She remembered their first night together, their first kiss, how real it had all felt. Tali closed her eyes, fighting the freshest tears as they spilled. She could still remember his smell, his perfume; the feeling of his skin on hers, how everywhere he touched her would grow burning hot. And beyond the passion, the gentleness with which he treated her. 'Only me,' she thought. She bit her lower lip, stifling another sob.
She remembered their last conversation:
"17 million lives are riding on me... and I don't know if I can save them."
"Hey... you're not alone."
She couldn't face him. She tried to hold back the dark thoughts, but her sleepless nights left her with less and less strength each day.
"This was supposed to be my father's fight. But he left me with all of this!" she said angrier than she intended. She felt the tension in her shoulders fall away as he placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "If they die... because of me... if... if I don't..." The words caught in her throat, and for once she was glad to have her helmet to hide her tears; her tears of frustration, of sadness...
"We'll get them out of there safely, Tali."
And she had believed him. She had trusted him. And she had fought for him, fought for her people to believe in him.
"I'm sorry."
Commander Shepard turned.
"Tali, no!"
Tali felt free. The panic in her lover's voice moments earlier barely registered over the whistling of the wind in her ears. The fabric framing her face flapped in the wind, and her hair tickled her nose as she imagined it splaying wildly in front of her. The vertigo sensation was surprisingly pleasing as she fell. Her eyes fluttered open one last time.
Time stopped when she saw Shepard's outstretched arm reach beyond the lip of the cliff. Seconds were stretched beyond reason, and her lover's upper body came into view, the red of N7 logo the same shade as the sky. He was so far away; she was so far away... but still he reached for her. Part of her wanted him to catch her, like he always had.
It turned out she was selfish.
Until the very end.
