Hanson couldn't be at the base right now, and he didn't want to be with the news he had received from his father that Caylee, his fiance, was dead having been shot twice and killed. All Hanson knew about this was that Caylee was shopping with the kids, a robbery took place, and Caylee hid the kids in the office with other shoppers and then warned Steven about what was going on. Hanson didn't understand how Caylee could have gotten killed, had she not hidden? Hanson wanted answers! He wanted to know who killed the love of his life, the woman he was supposed to marry in four months! Hanson didn't even know how to begin dealing with all this, for now, he had to tell his kids that their mother was gone and find a way to be strong for them and himself. When Hanson had left the chow hall, he brought his children and Toothless to his truck and loaded in with Toothless in the back; then he drove off base.
Reaching the Haddock household, Hanson sent Toothless in the back with Skullcrusher, Steven's dragon, then Hanson brought the kids inside and sat them on the couch. He couldn't believe he had to tell them that Caylee was dead, of all the things he'd been through over the years, this had to be the hardest and worst to endure. Hanson crouched down in front of them; he had to do it and get it over and done. There was so much to get done, and it started with the kids knowing.
"Caleb. Hazel. What I'm about to tell you is going to hurt and make you sad, but I promise that we'll all get through it together. Okay?" Hanson started as the two children nodded to him, "Mommy isn't going to be coming home anymore,"
"Why, Daddy!?" Hazel said as tears were forming.
"Is she going on another tour?" Caleb asked. Hanson shook his head trying to keep himself from crying too.
"Mommy had to go with Odin," Hanson told them sadly as now Caleb's eyes held tears as well. "That means she passed away and we won't get to see her because she's up in Valhalla with Odin, watching over us." he tried to explain so they would understand in the easiest way.
"So, she's still with us, but we can't see her anymore?" Hazel questioned.
"Yes, that's right. She'll be an angel with wings and halo up there with my Mom, her Mom, Dad, and Grandmother. She'll always be with us one way or another. But for her to go up there, we have to bury her in the cemetery so her spirit can leave her body and fly high up past the clouds," Hanson informed with a smile, trying to keep them and himself from breaking down over the loss.
"We have to help her become an angel?" Caleb tilted his head to the side, "When do we have to bury her?"
"In a week or so, Daddy has a lot of calls to make to prepare everything. Are you both okay? You know you can tell me how you feel and I'll do whatever I can to make it better," Hanson reminded.
"Why did she have to go with Odin? I thought only very ill and old people had to go with him," Hazel asked.
"Sometimes, Odin needs people to do bigger things for him. This time, he needed Mommy up there for another job," Hanson tried not sure if his six-year-old would buy it.
"Will she come back after she does the job?" Hazel inquired.
"I'm afraid not, sweetie. When Odin takes someone, he takes them forever. And sometimes the way they get taken hurts the people around that person. Like when My Mom passed away, it hurt Papa and me a lot. It's okay to be sad about losing Mommy, but she will always be with us. We have videos, pictures, and our memories too. Mommy will live in our hearts," Hanson used his thumb to wipe the tears away from Hazel's cheeks and eyes.
"Can I make her something to bury with her so she can take it to Valhalla, Daddy?" Hazel smiled some now.
"Of course you can, baby girl. Why don't you go work on it right now?" Hanson suggested as Hazel nodded her head quickly and hurried off to her room to start on it, now Hanson looked to Caleb with soft eyes.
"It was those robbers, wasn't it? The ones who made Mom go with Odin?" Caleb asked sadly.
"Yes son, they were. And I'm so sorry," Hanson leaned in when he saw Caleb about to cry and pulled his eldest child in for a tight embrace.
"What happens now?" Caleb whimpered a bit.
"Well, as I told you and your sister before, we have to hold a service for Mom and bury her. And then we just take all the time we need to remember her and the good times, and you know she'll always be with us," Hanson explained lightly. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise. We have each other to get through it all; we're still a family, Caleb." he added as Caleb hugged him back.
(Two Weeks Later)
It had been the worst two weeks of Hanson's life to be identifying Caylee's body, seeing the tape of her death and learning that she had stopped the robbery but didn't know there were two robbers. Also, Hanson had to take care of the memorial service and funeral with help from his father. Hanson hadn't seen his friends since the day he left the base, but everyone was aware that Caylee had been killed in a robbery and died a hero for putting herself out there to protect the others in the store including Caleb and Hazel. Now here they were, the day of the service and funeral. Hanson, Steven, and the kids would have to face everyone who came through to pay their respects to Caylee and the only grieving family she had which was just Hanson, Steven, and the children since Caylee's parents were dead, and so was her grandmother.
The two weeks had been hard for Caleb and Hazel mostly because they weren't used to not getting their hugs and kisses every morning and night. Hanson kept them out of school the entire time, himself out of work and Steven too. The court hearings were starting in another week for the one robber who Caylee shot in the leg twice to keep down and from attacking. Caylee would have a soldier's burial, Hanson made sure of that. The biggest problem was that Hanson never found a will for her in their safe of relevant documents although he was sure one had been set up with the military if anything were to happen to her. Hanson made calls but no one had gotten back to him yet about it, which was a little odd but he didn't care today.
Today was going to be horrible, and he just wanted it to be over. Hanson got dressed in his military formals, Hazel wore a dark blue dress, Steven wore a regular suit and tie, and Caleb was wearing a black suit and red tie. Hanson knew that Caylee always wanted to be cremated, so that's what he had done for her. It worked out because they could do the service and funeral right in the same place since the cemetery was at the funeral home. Hanson took the earliest appointment he could which was at 10 am for service, funeral to follow at 10:30 am, and the after party would be at Steven's house in the backyard since it was still warm enough to do so. As 9:45 am hit on the clock, Hanson was standing outside the house near his father's car with his head down trying to hold back the tears again.
Hanson had cried every night since it happened, he just couldn't hold the pain in knowing Caylee was dead. Hanson had lost many people in the last eight years and none hurt as much as this death did, not even his Mom's. "This isn't happening...Gods, please just wake me up from this nightmare," he whispered.
"I've said that many times after your mother died, son. I know it hurts," Steven said coming out beside Hanson now.
"How Dad? How do I stay strong today, and for the kids?" Hanson asked him.
"You don't, Hanson. I wasn't strong when I buried your mother. I cried, and I wasn't afraid to show it because I wanted you to know that it was okay to cry and be upset over the loss. I know you don't show your emotions, son. The military had a big part in that. Those were your friends, and I know this hurts you more because it's someone you love that you have to say goodbye too," Steven informed him.
"So I should be upset and cry? What good will it do? It won't bring her back," Hanson looked away when he felt the tears slipping from his eyes.
"No, it won't. But burying your pain as you bury her doesn't do you any good either. Caylee wouldn't want that and take comfort in know that she managed to message you before she passed and now you will always have that as you do the kids. It's okay, Hanson. You can be upset, no one is going to judge you," Steven put his hand on Hanson's shoulder, "Now, grab the kids and let's get going. The service begins in fifteen minutes," Hanson sighed and nodded as he went inside to get the kids, and then they loaded up in the car, and they were off to the funeral home and cemetery.
(Wings & Halos Cemetery)
Arriving at the location it would be held, Hanson found himself having a harder time getting out of the car than he first thought. "It's time son," Steven reminded with a sympathetic smile. Caleb moved forward now and hugged his father tightly.
"Don't worry, Mom will be with us, just like you said she would be," Caleb smiled at him.
"Thank you, son. You're right; I'm ready." Hanson offered a smile to him as he put a hand over his son's before making his way out of the car, then opening the back door to let the kids out who stayed on either side of him while Steven stood with them as well.
"You head inside, and I'll let others know how it's going to go, I know you want it to be straightforward and fast," Steven told Hanson who nodded and led the kids inside just as his friends arrived and looked at him sadly, Hanson just kept walking. He wasn't in the mood, not today. Besides, he would see them later at the party when he had to put on the smile and act like he was fine when deep inside he was just falling apart and wanted to be alone. Alas, he couldn't do that now that he was a single father and his children were also without Caylee and would need him more than he needed time sit with his thoughts and mourn in peace.
Steven greeted guests and showed them where to go while Hanson sat with the kids on either side of him shaking hands, receiving hugs, and condolences on the loss. Members of the platoon came through, both Alpha and Blast. Ella was crying with Thatcher offering as much comfort as he could to the girl who lost her battle buddy and best friend. Hanson noticed his friends stayed, so did Aiden and Gregory. Unfortunately, the room was just too small to hold everyone for the duration of the service, so some waited outside until the actual funeral ceremony began. Hanson's eyes continued to drift over to the pedestal where his fiance's ashes rested in a sealed, silver container. When all had come through, Spencer sat beside Hanson while the priest spoke of Caylee's life.
Hanson held Hazel in his lap, Caleb against him as Hanson let his tears fall silently from his green eyes and Spencer rubbed his back, but it didn't help any. Hanson couldn't hide these emotions as he could for so many other deaths; this was more than a casualty of war. This happened in his home town; a place people were supposed to be safe from the senseless killing! And Caylee being the Godsend she was, bravely put herself in danger to keep six strangers and the two children safe because the shooter who was still alive when police arrived admitted that they were going to kill any witnesses until Caylee stepped in to stop the robbery herself. The four shoppers, cashier, and the manager had come to offer their deepest sympathies too. All of it just made Hanson feel worse.
When the service was over, it moved outside for the ceremony. Hanson, Thatcher, Ella, Vincent, Ricky, Gregory, and Aiden were going to be the ones firing the guns for the honorary twenty-one gun salute to Caylee's heroism, memory, and the life lived. Hanson being the Lieutenant Colonel was giving the commands, and he didn't want to. After this would be the after party at his father's house. After this, he could focus on himself and his children, and that's all he cared about right now. The kids were holding pretty strong but did cry quietly as Hanson did too.
"Soldiers, attention!" Hanson called out as the other six snapped to a position holding their M-4 rifles at their sides. "Ready," he said as they all stepped forward with their left foot, "Aim," at this, the guns were raised to a fifteen-degree angle, heads lowered slightly and fingers ready on the triggers, "Fire!" Hanson commanded as they did exactly that. And it went on two more times in the same order. "Present arms," Hanson ordered as the guns were brought vertically to their chests, "Order arms," now they were placed at the sides of the soldiers with the butts on the ground. "Present arms," The guns were brought across their chest, "Right face," Hanson told them as they all turned right. "Forward march!" and they began marching off to the side.
"This concludes the service and funeral for Caylee Hope Bog. Thank you for coming, and at this time of loss, please keep the Haddock family in your thoughts and prayers," the priest then stepped back. He and Hanson spoke a few moments, shook hands and then Hanson put his gun away in the box before facing the friends who fired with him.
"Thank you for doing that with me, I'm sure Caylee is smiling knowing we got the old team to fire in her memory," Hanson told them.
"It was no trouble, Hanson. You know we'd do anything for her, you, and those kids. We're all one big family," Vincent told him.
"I appreciate it," Hanson replied.
"How are you holding up?" Thatcher asked gently.
"I'm holding, not sure how much longer, though. Everything just feels so wrong now, like my world crashed before me I don't know how to pick up the pieces and put my once perfect life back together. It's never going to be the same without her, and I can admit that I'm having a hard time coping with her being gone. I know she is, but I still feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare, that it's not real," Hanson informed casting his eyes downward from his friends.
"We know it's hard, Hanson. Cay was one of us; we've all been together since May 2009. Her memory will live on in all of us, you, and your kids. Things will get easier, my friend. Take all the time you need and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call and ask. We'll be there in a heartbeat for you," Ricky responded with a hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you. I better go for now and get the kids home. See you at the after party?" Hanson asked.
"You know we'll be there," Ella nodded with a soft smile. Hanson turned and walked away towards Hazel, Caleb, and his father. Hanson picked up Hazel in his left arm; the held Caleb's hand with his right.
"Let's go home," Hanson told them as they nodded and walked out of sight towards Steven's car, loaded up and drove off. Hanson just closed his eyes once in the car. All he wanted to do was get out of his uniform and sit on his bed for five minutes in silence to cry.
(Haddock Household)
Getting to the house, Hanson walked in with the children and sent them to their rooms to get changed as he stood there looking around. Everything felt so different without Caylee there, just like it had when he lost his mother, and there was a sudden emptiness within the walls of a once happy home.
"Are you alright, son?" Steven asked.
"Not right now, no. I'm going to change and take a few minutes to myself. You got the kids?" Hanson asked.
"Of course I do," Steven nodded. Hanson gave a grateful smile to his father then headed down the hall to his and Caylee's room to change. Once he was in a pair of nice pants and shirt with shoes, he saw a picture of Caylee, the children, his father, himself, and the dragons; Acida and Toothless, at the park. It was taken by Ella because it had been a family/friend picnic day. One of Hanson's favorite memories of his family. Holding the picture in his hands, he didn't realize he was crying until he saw teardrops landing on the glass. Hanson hated it! He hated this feeling; he wanted Caylee back. It wasn't fair that she was killed! Hanson finally lets go and cried fully as he hit his knees and pleaded for it not to be true, to please wake up from the nightmare he was suffering. Today was the hardest day of his entire life, and he just wanted it to be over.
