He had heard that there would be a Yule ball this year. The students were excited and every day, through the ripping tides, the giant the squid heard students gossiping about who would be there, ironing out what outfits they'd wear and by Merlin's beard, making sure they didn't wear the same thing as someone else because that would be TRAGIC. The squid agreed that it would be tragic to wear the same thing as someone else and he also agreed that he wanted to look just as fabulous as everyone else at the party. But as a giant squid, one's attire options do tend to be limited, but the squid would make it work.

After many days of trying on every piece of kelp, seaweed and fish droppings he could find, the squid had nearly given the white flag to finding their perfect Yule ball outfit and was ready to just stay home to watch some LakeFlix instead. But he couldn't disappoint his date.

Seven weeks ago he had been minding his own business (listening in on another student complaining about the amount of homework Snape gave them and how professor Flitwick always seemed to smell like a fresh picked daisy), when Squid's dream date floated up to him and buttered him up so he would go to the Yule ball with them. The squid would have said yes anyway, so this extra flattery was just extra butter on the bread.

Before Squid knew it the day of the Yule ball had come and he was still without the most fabulous piece of fish-shion to wear. He would just have to tell his date to go without him, no need to risk embarrassing his crush.

As the clock struck seven with a loud CLANG, Squid could hear the students start to trek their way past the lake to the special heated outdoor white wedding-style tent that had been set up directly next to the Forbidden Forest (for ambiance) specifically for the event. He knew this was when his date would be arriving and when he'd have to break the bad news to them and send them off to the ball alone.

Then out of the corner of his eye Squid saw a glimmer. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. But it was.

From 1 knot away he could see the most perfect, the most square, the most spongy piece of perfectly golden brown toast floating towards him. But instead of the normal (but still lovely) plain butter Toast normally wore, she was wearing the most mesmerizing sheer layers of festive green and red jam. Toast looked regal, royal and oh so sexy. The second Squid locked eyes with Toast he knew he couldn't say no to an evening with this amazing being, but in that same moment Squid also knew how to solve the problem of having nothing to wear.

With the intimate care, Squid lovingly gripped Toast by her sides and pulled her porous body closer to his own. In one swift movement, Squid carefully placed Toast right atop his head. Toast let off a glorious glimmer as the sun from above the water touched her fancy jams.

Squid had never been happier and the couple had never looked better, because you always look best when you're spending time with the ones you love.

Squid and toast slinked out of the lake to the tent where they danced the night away.

The end. (For now)