Chapter 4:
(Camilo POV)
- 5 years later -
"No," I gasped as I woke up with a start as I thought about that day again. It was my constant nightmare and it would never stop. Every night I had to watch as she hit the ground and hear her say that she lost her vision. I never saw her in town again, even though Señor Santiago comes to the marketplace once a month to gather the supplies that he needs. A while back I asked Dolores if she heard anything about them, but apparently they did something to their house where we couldn't hear what was going on inside. I didn't dare to go near their house. I tried to bend the rules between the two families one time and she had to pay the price. I don't even know if she ever got her vision back.
As I was becoming more aware of the world around me I could hear Antonio was crying nearby but he was starting to stop so I guess Mirabel must have got up and went to help him. Mirabel bonded almost instantly with Antonio when he was born and he seemed to be the only one who was able to start to bring her back. I realized a while ago that I wasn't able to help her but he was and I was just glad that she was happy again.
I rolled myself out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. Everyday I felt like I looked less and less like myself as I examined everything. Something was always different and I wasn't sure if it was just me growing up or if I actually didn't change back into myself after each day. I pulled the curtain over the mirror no longer wanting to see myself. I couldn't handle it, the not knowing if it was real or not.
My life became a show of smoke and mirrors. I was whoever anyone else wanted me to be. I was a playmate for everyone's kids, I recently became a babysitter who would look exactly like their parents, I was someone tall when they needed to hang something up, someone short when they had to get something that fell in a tight space, no one really ever wanted to see me in town but everyone wanted me for something. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them didn't know what I looked like. Still they all liked me, they appreciated my gift, I was helping everyone. When I was little that was my biggest fear, but something about this wasn't much better.
I went down to breakfast and saw Tía's arepas and began piling them up onto my plate, I was a growing boy after all and changing shape really took all my energy. I made my way to the table and took my seat next to Isabella. Abuela went through the family announcements and then we all started to eat. We were such a big family but after announcements we always ate in silence. It had been that way for 5 years and I missed being able to talk with everyone, but I wasn't going to be the one who broke the silence. I finished my food as Dolores handed me an extra arepa she had on her plate with a smirk. I smiled up at her and quickly shoved it in my mouth before I headed into town alongside all of my cousins. Dolores would always walk the perimeter before coming into town and coming back home at night.
As we entered town Luisa was immediately called off in one direction and Isabella to another. It didn't take long before the kids in town found me, "Camilo." The all circled around me and I smiled. "Do the change thing?" Someone said. I shifted into him and his eyes went wide. The age of my audience usually stayed the same even as I got older. I continued to change as I made my way deeper into town when the adults caught a glimpse of me and started calling for me. I had begun changing into them to hand up tools to patch a roof before going back to the kids. We continued to play for a while as I was making my way through town.
I eventually came across this Mom who was standing outside with her crying baby looking exhausted. I changed into her and told the kids to play without me for a minute, "Why don't you take a break?" I said and she nodded her head as she handed me the baby and went inside. Within the last couple of years I got really good with kids and once I was sure that they were comfortable with me I was able to have some fun with them. Sometimes, especially when the streets were quiet I would turn back into myself. Babies were the only crowd that didn't seem to mind. They would when they got older they would but for right now I got to enjoy their company as me. However, today was not going to be one of those days. Everyone in town was walking by and there was no way that I could just shift back into myself.
A little while later the baby was asleep in my arms as the woman came back out taking a deep breath, "Thank you so much Camilo." I nodded my head as I handed back her baby, "Happy to help." I turned and the kids found me again. They always found me. I continued to play with them shifting into different forms. As the sun went down I made my way back to Casita. I saw that there was a plate waiting for me in the kitchen as I usually came home late and sat down alone eating my food. I was making my way upstairs when Mama stopped me, "What are you doing here cutie?" I looked down at myself and realized I still hadn't shifted back, "Mama it's me." I changed into her and she laughed, "Sorry Camilo." I nodded my head and started making my way upstairs.
I went to go to bed when I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I still looked like Mama. I closed my eyes and tried to turn back into myself. Each time I opened my eyes I looked like someone else but none of them were me: Mirabel, Luisa, the woman from town earlier, etc. I was getting nervous what was going on. I tried to imagine what i looked like this morning but the image was blurred. I couldn't get it. I was having trouble breathing. I made my way out of the room. I couldn't go to Abuela she would think that something is wrong with the miracle. I couldn't go to Mama or Papa because the weather would go haywire and everyone would blame me. I didn't want to bother Tía Julieta, Luisa and Dolores couldn't help me.
I went to a door and knocked and saw Isabella open the door as I shifted into her, "Haha Camilo. What is going on?" I was struggling to take breaths, "Isabella I need help." She nodded her head and brought me into my room. "Camilo what is wrong?" "I-I can't go back to myself. I can't remember what I look like," I said breathing out each word. She nodded her head and knelt down in front of me, "Camilo you need to calm down." I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "Do you have any recent photos of yourself?" She asked but I shook my head, "The last photos I have are from over a year ago." She nodded her head knowing that they wouldn't work.
She then looked at the plants around her and began to grow something. She kept her eyes closed as she focused on each individual detail. She took my hand and showed me to the other side. "This is you," she said as I looked at the plant. I closed my eyes and began to turn back into myself. I looked over my hands and felt along my face and it felt like I was normal again. "Thank you," I said and she nodded her head before handing me something, "I used to use this camera to try to grow plants to look like people, I think that you need it now." I nodded my head and I gave her a hug, "Thank you." She nodded her head, "Anytime primo." I went to leave her room but turned back around, "Can we not tell anyone what happened?" She nodded her head, "Our secret."
I nodded my head again and went to my room. I pulled back the curtain and looked at myself nodding my head. I took a picture of myself and then stuck it on the mirror. I pulled the curtain back over the photo. I went to bed as the panic started to go away. I was going to forget who I was. I was going to lose myself for everyone else in town and I knew tomorrow I am going to have to do everything the same way again. Tonight was one of the worst nights to be a Madrigal for me and as the panic left I could feel the tears hit the pillow. I didn't know why I was crying or why I felt this overwhelmed but I used my pillow to muffle it as much as possible so that Dolores wouldn't hear.
I couldn't sleep that night I had two dreams that kept cycling in and they both kept me waking up and it took me so long to fall back asleep to wake up again. One was the dream that I always had about Señor Santiago's daughter getting hurt that day. The other one kept starting the same way, it was me waking up like this night was finally over. I went to get dressed and before I left I went to look in the mirror. What I saw was that I had no face. I had no identity. I was gone. I wanted to scream but no one could hear me. I couldn't move because my feet felt cemented to the ground. I don't even know how I was able to see myself but, all I could do was examine myself in silence.
Those dreams became my new normal each night. They were all I could think about and all I could see when I closed my eyes. I was eventually able to sleep through the night, but it was never peaceful. Every morning I would wake up take a picture of myself in the mirror and go out into town and did pretty much the exact same thing making sure no one was worried about me or suspected that anything was wrong. I was whoever they wanted to be each moment of the day. When I came home I'd eat dinner and then go up to my room taking another picture of what I looked like before going to bed. Sometimes I tried to look at the pictures from the morning compared to night and to me they never looked the same, something was always different. I could never place my finger on it though. Then I went to bed and started it all over again. Day by day, month by month, year by year I was what everyone else wanted.
Author's Note:
So this chapter was mostly just an establishment of Camilo's routine and what was going on with him emotionally before Encanto. I know that there wasn't a lot of dialogue or interaction with other characters, besides Isabella, but that was kind of the point. Camilo is still a very upbeat character who is always trying to help everyone like in the movie but this is more about the demons that other people can't see that Camilo was struggling with starting at a pretty young age.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
