Chapter 8:
(Camilo POV)
I watched as a series of emotions flashed across Liv's face as she tried to absorb what I just said, "What did you just say?" I took a breath, "I'm Camilo Madrigal." My voice was much weaker this time as I waited for her to respond. "Cameron this is a really bad joke. It isn't funny," she said trying to convince herself that it was a joke. I shook my head, "I know, but it's true I'm Camilo Madrigal." Her breath started to quicken as she removed her hands from me. She put both her hands on the ground like she was trying to stabilize herself, she whispered something to herself that I couldn't hear. She then looked in my direction, "I want to go back to the church." "Liv," I started but she stopped me, "TAKE ME BACK TO THE CHURCH CAMILO." I put my hand on top of hers, "Ok." Her hand shuddered back under my touch and I could feel something inside of me crack.
I changed into Cameron and looked over at her she hadn't even shifted. I helped her stand up and brought her back to the church. She was trying to lean on me as little as possible as I guided her to our location. She didn't talk the entire time and I didn't want to push her to talk at the moment. I couldn't tell what she was feeling right now but she obliviously wasn't happy with me and I didn't want to make it any worse.
I brought her inside the church and saw Padre Sanchez looking at me. It was a lot earlier than he thought we would be back. I brought her to the same pew she sat in every time I saw her and guided her to her spot. She sat down quietly still not saying anything. I took the spot next to her and kept looking over at her waiting for her to tell me something, anything. An hour passed as we both sat in complete silence.
Olivia then turned in my direction and whispered, "Camilo?" I put my hand on top of hers, "Right here." She pulled her hand away from mine but I kept it in the same spot so that she could easily find it again if she wanted to. She curled her arms into herself as her head rested on her knees, she wasn't even trying to look in my general direction anymore. "Was it all a lie?" Her voice was eerily soft as she spoke. It reminded me of when she went blind. "No, it wasn't all a lie. I did lie to you about who I was but that was it. Everything else was the truth." Her voice was breaking as she said, "How am I supposed to believe you?" My mouth opened and closed.
I didn't know how, there wasn't a good reason for her to I had been lying to her for a really long time about who I was. I finally said, "Because I'm your best friend and you are mine." She shook her head, "No. My best friend's name is Cameron. He comes in here on the last Thursday of the month and sits with me. He reads me books, he brings me things to feel and we talk. I can trust him always. I trusted him to guide me out of this church. I don't know who you are." I started shaking my hand, "Liv, no." But she stopped me, "Olivia. Only one person gets to call me Liv." "Olivia," I started my voice was desperate I couldn't lose her. She meant everything to me. She was the one person that I could be myself with.
She quietly said, "I can't see anything. I am completely at the will of others all the time. I have to rely on what people tell me is and isn't there. It requires me to believe that you are always telling me the truth and that I can trust you. I can't trust you because you didn't always tell me the truth." I didn't know what to say. Her voice was a little bit more firm when she said, "I think that you should leave." I looked over at her, "Do you want me to leave?" She didn't respond she then just said, "I think that you should." I thought her words over in my head and nodded to myself. I leaned back into the chair and made myself as comfortable as I could. She thought I should leave but she never said she wanted me to. The moment she said that I would leave her alone as much as it was going to kill me but, I needed her to tell me that before I did. Neither of us said anything the rest of that visit but I was there if she needed me and she knew that I was there.
- 5 months later -
It had been 5 months since Olivia said anything to me or even spoke in my general vicinity. I would sit next to her at the church all day and neither of us would say anything. I wanted to wait for her to be ready but it was slowly killing me sitting there in utter silence. She stopped making her blankets too apparently. Padre Sanchez told me that she would bring in some from her house but she never actually worked on them in the church anymore. She just sat there all day.
I hated that I am the reason that she stopped. I hated that she wasn't talking to me anymore. I hated how if I wasn't a Madrigal this would have never been a problem. I hated that I told her the truth. I knew that I had to and I knew that if I had waited any longer she would have been even angrier but, I hated the situation that it created.
I started to roll the marble along the pew in my hand. I brought stuff with me when I came her in case she would be willing to talk to me about them. I rolled it back and forth all within the range of my hand. Then I looked down and realized I missed it as it rolled right into Olivia's side. It wouldn't hurt her, it was too small but it definitely surprise her. Her fingers went on top of it as she rolled it around on the wood of the pew. "Why are you here?" Was she actually talking to me. I couldn't believe it. I looked at her, "Because I want to spend time with my best friend." She shook her head, "I thought I told you not to come here anymore." "No, you told me you think that I should leave. You never said you wanted me to or that I had to. I'm not leaving you Olivia."
She rolled the marble in my direction, "You will. Everyone does." I rolled the marble back to her, "Liv I am not leaving you." She rolled the marble back at me, "You need to stop. We aren't friends, I can't trust you." I rolled the marble back, "Ask me anything I promise I won't lie to you." She looked in my direction her eyes were wide, "How will I know that?" She rolled the marble back at me. I took a breath, "What do you need me to do so that you can trust me? I will do it. I promise just tell me." She took a long breath and nodded her head to herself, "Why?" She looked back over in my direction, "Was I just some joke or charity case or something?"
I reached out to take her hand and she let me rest my hand on top of hers, "You were never a joke and you were never a charity case." She let out an exasperated breath, "Then why? Why did you talk to me? Why did you lie to me? I just need to know why?" I let out a long breath. I had to put everything out on the table for her right now. "I don't know if you remember this or not, but the day that your Mama died I was there with my Tía Julieta. She was inside with your Papa and you were outside all alone. You were huddled in a ball and you were so scared about what was going to happen it broke my heart. I tried playing with you for a bit and shapeshifting as that usually cheered people up and it worked at first but, then something loud was going on inside. You rushed into my arms and wrapped me in a tight hug. That was all that you wanted you didn't care about who I could become or what I could change into for you, you just wanted someone to be there with you and to hold onto you. I had never experienced anything like that before in my life."
She sniffled slightly as I spoke and I gave her a minute before I continued, "You see, my entire life changed when I turned 5 years old. I went from being a kid to being an adult who was responsible for the happiness of an entire community. My life is just being whoever other people want me to be. No one really ever cared to get to know me because that was never good enough. I'm a babysitter, a ladder, something small to fit in the crawl space. But, when I was with you on that day you didn't want me to be anyone else."
I looked over at her as I thought about how I was going to tell the next part of this. I finally just settled on saying exactly what I was thinking, "When I saw you the day you went blind sitting on the rock, I saw you watching us and it felt so unfair that you weren't able to play. I knew that I could get in trouble but, you looked so sad. I just wanted to make you smile. To make you happy. So I invited you to play. If I knew what was going to happen I would change it. I never wanted you to get hurt or to pay the price of my stupid choice. When your Papa took you away I thought I would never see you again. I thought that I ruined your life and that was the end of it. And then I was passing by the church one Thursday and there you were sitting there. I knew that it was risky to talk to you and I knew that I could get in a lot of trouble if I got caught but I had to see if you were ok. Then before I knew it we were talking and laughing and you quickly became the best friend I have ever had."
I could see a blush spreading across her cheeks and I knew I had to keep going. All my cards were going on the table now and I was giving her the power to destroy me I just hoped she wouldn't. "To the rest of the world I am a Madrigal, someone who has a gift and must serve the community to honor the miracle we were given. I am a tool that is at their disposal all day everyday until the day that I die. With you though, I was never a Madrigal. I got to be myself and actually figure out what that meant. You didn't want me around to see what I could do for you or who I could turn into for your entertainment. You just liked to have me as someone to sit next to you in the church. You even thanked me each time I came like you weren't expecting me to come back the next time."
She whispered loud enough that I could hear, "I was never certain you were." I smiled, "Of course I was going to come back." I took one last breath I had to make sure that everything was out there, "I was dreading telling you who I was because I was terrified that if I told you I was a Madrigal you would never want to speak to me again. Talking with you and spending time with you is what I look forward to the most and I didn't want to lose that. Olivia I really, really care about you. More than I have cared about anyone before. I don't know how else to describe it but, if I had the words I would tell you. I can't lose you. I promise that you are never going to lose me either, but if you want me to leave me alone. If you don't want to ever hear from me again. Just say the word and I am gone. I just want you to be happy." She sat quietly for a while letting all my words be absorbed as she tried to think about what she wanted to say. She finally nodded to herself as she settled on a choice.
She took her hand out from underneath mine and followed it up my arm. She brought herself over closer to me as she worked her way up to my shoulder until her hand was on my cheek. She frowned for a second, "You feel different." I nodded my head, "I don't look like myself right now. I didn't want to risk us both getting in trouble, although Padre Sanchez does know that it is me." She nodded her head as she brought her other hand up to my other cheek, "I really care about you too." Her voice was a whisper. She took a long breath and said, "If you ever lie to me again I will disappear from your life and you will never see me again, understood?" Her hands were still on my face as I nodded my head, "Yes understood."
She smiled and moved her hands down to my shoulders and wrapped me in a hug, "Good because I missed my best friend." I nodded my head on her shoulder, "Same here." We leaned back away from the hug and I just caught myself looking at her. Her big green eyes and dark back curls framing her face. She was so pretty. Wait why was I thinking about her like that. Why was I suddenly disappointed that we only shared a hug? Did she have this feeling in the pit of her stomach too. Something changed in me that day and I couldn't explain it but all I knew is that I wanted to give Olivia everything My gaze fell on her lips and I found myself wanting to lean in and kiss her. I couldn't do that, could I? No. I just got Olivia back, I don't want to scare her away again. my heartbeat was ringing in my ears as we continued to talk. What was I going to do? I then saw another glimpse of Olivia's smile and I knew I was a goner.
