This was not how Verosika had pictured her wedding night going.
"Hicc, I shay, hicc."
She was pretty sure she was supposed to be the one being carried bridal-style over the threshold by her deceptively-scrawny husband, not the other way round – not Mrs Wackford-Mayday stepping into the honeymoon suite at Ozzie's with Mr Wackford-Mayday soused and slung over her shoulder.
Okay, yeah, Wally might've overindulged at the reception. Compared to her – and pretty much all the demons she'd partied with over the years – he was a lightweight. She knew that. She thought she knew that. Verosika really thought she'd taken his tolerance into account by having the bar stocked with calvados and champagne instead of her favourite high-concentration Beelzejuice.
Apparently not.
Bless her cute imp husband and his cute little liver.
Husband…
Married…
Satan below, she was married.
She really couldn't complain; she was married. Married. Ring on her finger, a smitten & reciprocating lover by her side (officially, properly, after two-and-a-bit years of delightful dating). Their ceremony had been as close to divine as anything could get in Hell – even with Fizzaroli mock-gagging half the time like the juvenile jester he was, even with Kiki's blubbered maid-of-honour speech that felt more like a comically twisted eulogy for Verosika's wild, single bachelorette years.
It's just that Verosika had had some hopes for tonight.
Ah well, what the hell. She'd waited, she'd suffered, she'd been hurt for so long, and she wasn't hurting now. She was happy and in love, and she could wait another day for Wally to be in his right mind and for the both of them to fully enjoy their first passionate night as a wedded pair.
(And it wasn't like they hadn't made passionate love many nights before, besides.)
Wally warbled merrily out-of-tune as Verosika deposited him on the double bed. "Hold me closher, tiny – hicc – tiny dansher, I shay… lay me down in sheets of…sheets of…uh… I shay, theshe sheets are coshy…"
Verosika smiled fondly. She worked her way out of her wedding dress, folded it, draped it carefully over the vanity, and pulled on a black slip nightgown. Wally wiggled around in the sheets, entranced by the chandelier, not making any effort to remove his wine-blotched tux.
"C'mon, you," Verosika murmured, padding closer to her hubby. She started taking off his jacket.
"I shay, handsh off!" Wally squirmed away. Verosika sat back, stunned.
"Wally…" She tried again, and yet Wally still made frantic, uncoordinated efforts to escape.
"I am to be wed to Missh Veroshika Mayday on the morrow, ma'am, pleashe – hic – pleashe refrain yourshelf…"
Oh.
Aww.
"Wally, baby, it's me."
Wally blinked. "Veroshika? Baby? It'sh… hic… it'sh bad luck to shee the bride before…before…"
"Oh, we already had the wedding," Verosika couldn't help but giggle a bit. She took her husband's dumbfounded lack of movement as an opportunity to peel off the wedding suit, and as she did, she waggled one ring-resplendent hand in front of his unfocused gaze. "See?"
"Bu – I shay, I don't 'member…"
Tie off, suspenders off, trousers off; she unbuttoned his undershirt with practiced fluidity. "You will in the morning, babe."
"Oh… hic… okay…". Wally's eyelids started to droop. Right on cue, as Verosika finished pulling a sleepshirt over his head and bare torso, he yawned and toppled backwards into the bedsheets.
He began to softly snore.
Verosika let herself take in the sight for a moment, reminded herself again that this was real. Tiptoeing to the bathroom, she gargled a mouthful of mouthwash, and nabbed a couple of painkillers to leave on Wally's bedside table.
As she turned off the lights and eased herself under the covers, she felt a half-asleep hand graze her shoulder.
"Love you, dearest…" Wally slurred.
In the quiet dark, Verosika beamed and let a joyful tear slip from her eye. "Love you too, Wally."
She wrapped herself around her husband's frame, kissed his cheek, and gradually joined him in honeymoon slumber.
A/N:
I blame danidraws666 on Twitter for getting me hooked on Mayford. They've done some fabulously fluffy fanart of the two!
Also it seems that Mayford might actually be canon? One of the new Helluva Boss prints hints that Verosika gave Wally her number...
Anyway yeah, I wanted to write something fluffy and wholesome, and there's a sore lack of Mayford fics here, so I hope y'all enjoy!
