HALCYON DAYS
Volume Two: Retrograde Masquerade
Chapter Five

Class was in session at Karakura High School. While everyone else was writing down notes during Miss Ochi's lecture, Ichigo looked over curiously at Orihime, who was looking unusual today. She was clad in a striped white-and-orange collared top, a long yellow skirt, and a pair of glasses perched on her round face while her hair was tied pack into a ponytail.

Why's Orihime looking like a librarian today? Ichigo wondered. Does she have a new extracurricular or something?

The bell rang, signaling that class was over. Everyone began filing out.

"Ichigo, ya gotta get a load of this," Keigo squeaked to him as they made their way out into the hallway. "The new kid Shinji was raving about this ice cream spot last night. He says he can get us free scoops. We gotta go!"

"Right now?" Ichigo sighed, looking back at an indifferent Mizuiro and a grinning Shinji. "Ice cream's for dessert, isn't it?"

"Free ice cream is for anytime!" Keigo protested, his eyes welling up with indignant tears. "C'mon... you haven't hung out with us since last semester."

Ichigo halted, scanning Keigo and Mizuiro's faces. He did kind of owe them a proper hangout.

That's right, Kurosaki Ichigo... Shinji thought, his toothy grin stretching wide into a demented aperture. Be a good pal and come with us...

"Alright," Ichigo smiled. "Why not –?"

"Sorry, boys!" Tatsuki butted in, shoving Keigo, Mizuiro, and Shinji aside with one well-aimed kick and sending the trio spinning until they crashed into adjacent lockers. "Ichigo already promised to go to supper with us so we could work on our project some more. Isn't that right,Ichigo?"

Ichigo looked blankly at Tatsuki, remembering no such promise, but he could see fire in her eyes and was not in the mood to challenge her.

"Yeah, that's right," he said. "Sorry, guys. Another time!"

Shinji rubbed his smarting nose, watching Ichigo walking away with Tatsuki and Orihime yet again.

That girl is a serious pain in the ass, he thought. Now I gotta try a new plan tomorrow.

"Well, at least we can still go get ice cream, right Shinji?" Keigo nudged him. "Since you're brand new, I'll let you in on a secret: I gotta big ol' sweet tooth!"

"Eh, what?" Shinji blanched, realizing what his failed gambit had saddled him with.

"What's with the long face?" Mizuiro asked, arching an eyebrow. "You weren't lying about the free ice cream, right?"

Shinji was agitated enough to boil an egg on his forehead. After sucking in a deep breath, he managed another fake, toothy smile.

"Of course not, fellas!" he gritted through his oversized teeth. "Follow me."


Ichigo, Orihime, and Tatsuki entered Tsumugi's Kitchen, one of the more chic places to get ramen in Karakura Town. The Strawberry slunk down into their booth, feeling very confused as to why Tatsuki had brought him there. Orihime quietly sat down across from him, scooting to the side for Tatsuki to plunk down as well.

"So... what're we doing here?" Ichigo asked, absentmindedly flipping through the menu. "I already finished our project last night, remember? Unless you're gonna spot me a ramen, I'm not really –"

"Ichigo, I've got a question," Tatsuki interjected, gesturing to Inoue. "What do you think... of Orihime's outfit?"

Ichigo furrowed his brow, then looked to Orihime.

"Well you do look different today, Inoue."

"That's right; she's got a date tonight with a real hotshot," Tatsuki grinned, intently studying Ichigo's reaction. "Actually, she's not even in proper uniform just yet..."

She leaned over and undid the buttons on top of Orihime's blouse.

"There. That's how she's gonna look when her date arrives. We could really use your opinion on whether or not she's dressed to impress?"

Ichigo's jaw practically slammed onto the table. Orihime's conservative top was suddenly transformed into a cornucopia of bountiful cleavage, with her ample bosom practically spilling out from the slit. It was just about the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"W-what do I think?" he mumbled, feeling like he was gazing directly at the sun.

She's going on a date... with a guy... looking like THAT?!

He stared at Orihime with absolute mortification while she smiled back. Eventually, her smile sloped down into an uneasy grimace.

Oh no, she thought. He doesn't like it.

"Alright, Ichigo," Tatsuki said sharply, her patience evaporated. "A little less ogling, a little more affirmation, please."

Oh shit, Ichigo panicked. She's gonna think I'm a creep!

"Well... I kinda think she's revealing too much, to be honest," he said as matter of factly as he could muster. "I mean, her date might get the wrong idea about what kind of girl she is..."

Orihime's expression shrank until it could fit onto a coin. He thinks I'm a perverted exhibitionist!

"Excuse me?" Tatsuki gritted.

"I said I think she's revealing –"

"KUROSAKI ICHIGO!" Tatsuki roared, leaping up onto the table and slamming her foot straight down onto Ichigo's face. "How dare you talk about a lady like that!"

Everyone in the restaurant turned to watch the pixie-haired hellion savagely stomp her foot against the orange-haired punk's face again and again.

"When you're asked to comment on a girl's looks, you say she looks great no matter your actual opinion!" Tatsuki roared, repeatedly stomping him. "You never imply she's a harlot just because of her clothes. You... you pig!"

"Please stop, Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime pleaded, trying to pull her friend down with one hand while shielding her chest with another. "I appreciate the constructive feedback! Please stop, you're gonna break his nose!"

Ichigo sat back and accepted every kick. Deep down, he knew he deserved it.

I should have just gone with the free ice cream, he thought.


"Here we are!" Shinji announced to Keigo and Mizuiro, theatrically presenting a dingy cart manned by two bored-looking girls.

One of the ice cream sellers had raven hair with bangs and a braided ponytail slung over her shoulder, her turquoise eyes framed by oval-shaped red glasses.

Her medium height and bookish features made her look like a full-grown woman, while her colleague decidedly did not: the other scooper was a diminutive blondie with spiky pigtails, chestnut eyes, a smattering of freckles across her cheeks.

Both of them were garbed in sailor girl outfits replete with white-and-blue-striped caps, and neither looked enthused to be dishing out treats.

Keigo and Mizuiro looked at the shabby little cart with polite bafflement. They were in one of the seedier corners of Karakura Town, and it looked like the much-vaunted ice cream business had been established only that very morning and with a very tight budget.

"Best spot to get ice cream in Karakura Town," Shinji grinned phonily. "We'll all have a round on me; my treat for my new friends –"

"We serve snow cones, not ice cream," the short blonde scooper said flatly.

"Eh?" Shinji blushed. "Whaddya mean?"

"We're a snow cone business," the taller server asserted, pointing to the sign taped to their icebox:

The "Ice Cream" portion was crossed out with a big red marker, with "Snow Cones" scribbled over it.

"See?" the shorter server said tersely. "We serve snow cones and we've always served snow cones."

Shinji blinked several times in beffudlement before leaning in close between them.

"What the hell are you two doing?" he hissed.

"All of our attempts at making ice cream failed," Lisa Yadōmaru whispered back. "They all came out like sugar soup. Snow cones proved more do-able."

"You are blowing this operation!" Shinji whined.

"How about you pull up your big boy pants and IMPROVISE!" Hiyori Sarugaki snapped back, her voice louder than either Shinji or Lisa would have liked.

"Everything alright over there?" Mizuiro asked, observing from a couple yards away.

"Oh, we're good!" Shinji chuckled nervously, looking back at the teenagers and giving a bashful wave to beckon them over. "Silly me! Where I come from, ice cream and snow cones are interchangeable!"

"Where do you come from, again?" Mizuiro asked skeptically.

"Uh, from the West!" Shinji offered. "C'mon guys, it's all on me."

The two lads set aside their confusion, deciding that free snow cones were better than no ice cream. Keigo looked on in awe at the magenta ball of ice plunked down into a paper cup just for him.

"Oh my," he cooed, his eyes turning into rainbow stars before bursting like supernovas. He took a shovelful of the concoction and chomped on it, only to go completely cross-eyed when the brain freeze hit. He let out a deafening screech.

"Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth," Mizuiro advised.

Hiyori and Lisa frowned at Shinji while Keigo spazzed out.

"I thought this Kurosaki guy was supposed to have carrot hair?" Hiyori asked.

"Neither of these guys are Ichigo," Shinji replied. "They're his friends."

"Then why are we even bothering with this charade?" Lisa whispered irately.

"Because I'm trying to maintain my cover, okay?"

"Oh yes, you're a real master of disguise," Lisa sighed derisively, taking off her glasses to rub her temples. "You thought you could lure a teenager with promises of ice cream? Idiot. How about we dangle something that would actually appeal to this Kurosaki brat?"


"That absolute asshole!" Tatsuki huffed while walking back home with Orihime. "Where does he get off on shaming you like that?"

"Oh, I'm so embarrassed, Tatsuki-chan," Orihime sniffled, buttoning her top up in shame. "He thinks I'm a pervert!"

Tatsuki turned back and snapped her fingers at Orihime to break her trance of despair.

"Hey, look at me," she commanded, deadly serious. "Only boys can be perverts. Got that?"

"But... what about Chizuru-chan?" Orihime welled up.

"She is the lone exception," Tatsuki replied.

They continued on their way, trudging somberly down the neighborhood.

"Do you want your shirt back?" Orihime sniffled.

"Nah, you've already stretched it out too much," Tatsuki sighed. "It'd fit me like a parachute now."


Ichigo closed the freezer and planted an icepack on his bloody nose.

"You got what you deserved, son," Isshin nodded from the stove, seasoning his signature stew. "You never tell a lady she's wearing too little. Remember: too little is just right."

"Gross," Karin frowned while unlacing her soccer cleats at the dinner table.

She was muddy from a rigorous scrimmage, her left knee lightly scraped. She regarded her big brother with a disappointed look.

"That was pretty messed up, Nii-Chan. Orihime's really nice; you shouldn't go insulting her. She can't help it if she's got big boobies."

"What is it with everyone obsessing over chest size?" Ichigo grumbled, taking a seat at the dinner table. "Tatsuki taught me the hard way that I said the wrong thing, alright? There's no such thing as modesty anymore. Got it!"

"Huge gazongas still freak you out, huh?" Karin asked sincerely.

"Enough!" Ichigo shouted, his brow furrowing with such passionate annoyance that it shot a bolt of pain through his smarting septum and made him wince. "You're all perverts, you know that? Dad's lechery has ruined this family!"

Isshin and Karin watched Ichigo exit the kitchen in a huff and listened to him stomp up to his room and slam his bedroom door shut.

"I haven't ruined our family, have I?" Isshin asked insecurely while continuing to stir the stew.

"Nope," Karin replied. "Despite your best efforts."


Orihime retired to her bedroom, bringing a framed picture of her brother Sora and perching it on her bed. She kneeled before the frame and prayed profusely while fighting back tears.

"Oh, Sora, I'm so sorry for the shame I've brought upon our family," she confessed, hands clasped. "Tell our ancestors I'm not that kind of girl, please? Kurosaki-kun must think so much less of me now –"

There was a sudden knock.

The rap didn't come from the door but from Orihime's bedroom window. She roved her head to the pane and her heart suddenly forgot to complete a beat: Ichigo was gazing at her from across the glass, his tiptoes resting superhumanly on the windowsill. He was clad in his Shinigami Shihakushō, visiting her like a nighttime apparition.

"Kurosaki-kun..." Orihime whispered, involuntarily releasing a tear down her swollen cheek.

Ichigo could have phased through the wall with his Shinigami form if he so wished, but he didn't want to intrude on Orihime's private space. Instead, he produced a slip of paper from his robes and slapped it onto the window:

I'M SO SORRY, INOUE, the crinkled message read. YOUR OUTFIT LOOKED GREAT.

He mouthed "I'm an idiot" as an addendum.

Orhime let out a gasp of relief and snorted back tears. Wiping a palm across her moist face, she gave Ichigo a beaming smile. She then added a thumbs up to make her forgiveness even more clear.

Ichigo smiled back. He mimed a cough, as if changing the subject, and flipped his note over.

DID YOUR DATE GO OKAY?

Orihime's eyes widened. She was frozen in awkwardness for a moment, then meagerly raised her other thumb up. When she realized that Ichigo was hoping for more enthusiasm, she started waving around both thumbs and nodded vigorously.

Ichigo felt a subtle pang of regret that swiftly shifted into complete relief. He hadn't completely ruined her night, thank goodness.

He smiled warmly at her for what seemed like a long time, then gestured to the skyline behind him. There were Hollows that needed hunting. Orihime caught his drift and playfully mimed shooing him away.

After giving her one last lingering look, he turned and bounded off into Karakura Town. Orihime watched his silhouette leap across several rooftops and disappear from view.