Tony cheered out as he slammed the empty shot glass on the counter. A smug grin on his metallic face as he stared at the cat with hazy eyes. His movements started to sway as the alcohol made its way throughout his whole system.
One thing he noticed quickly, was that he could drink a lot more than usual before getting the same effects as he did while alive. He had a literal iron liver now, and he was putting it through his paces.
Husk, who he learned was the name of the cat bartender. Slammed back another shot of the absinthe. The sheer potency could give a normal person a good buzz just by sniffing it.
He was also quite sure that it had a few hallucinogenic effects as well. Because he was starting to see a few really funky things as well. He could've sworn he just saw the most badass furry ever just throw a dragon into a wall. Then walk away with his bottle of booze.
Husk wobbled slightly as he set the shot glass down. A smug grin on his face as he stared at Tony. The two had been trying to outdrank one another for the last half hour. But so far, Husk had been the most challenging opponent he'd ever had. Rhodey being the next best.
His helmet stared back at him from the table as he reached to pour another shot of the absinthe. Careful not to crush the bottle with his gauntlet. Before pouring husk another shot as well.
They both clinked their glasses together before downing their portions.
"Yah k is, I'm surprised you've lasted this long. Someone with a worse tolerance would've keeled over and died by now. But you're still kicking?!" Husk exclaimed with drunken excitement as he used a cheap beer as his chaser. Nearly falling back in his seat if it weren't for a quick flap of his wings.
Tony snorted at seeing the cat nearly fall on his ass. It was always amusing to see drunk people doing stupid shit, especially when your there with them.
"And you've certainly lived up to the hype you kept spouting my furry friend. But I think it's time I ended this little battle of ours. Because Tony Motherfucking Stark doesn't come to lose!" He yelled to the crowd that had gathered.
He grabbed the still one third full bottle, drained by over a dozen shots each, and proceeded to chug the whole thing. Drops of near poisonous level liquor falling into the plates of his suit.
Tony set the bottle down with a triumphant grin as he looked at the shocked Husk. But the cat's shocked expression quickly changed to one of admiration as he stumbled forward. Hand outstretched to shake.
"Seems you beat me dumbass. But that was a real dumb move to chug that. Trust me, you're gonna feel it later." Husk said with a cheeky grin and half closed eyes.
Tony stumbled forward and accidently slammed his elbow into the table, making a dent with his armor. He used his other hand to shake husks with an equally smug grin.
"Gotta admit, no one has pushed me that far before either. It was good to have a real challenge for once. But if you don't mind, I really gotta hit the can. That shit went straight through me." He said as he grabbed his helmet with a shaky hand. It slid over his head with the hiss of mechanisms. Before once again tightening back together into a tight and protective seal.
Husk stared into the to white eyes of the Ironman helmet before Tony brought the faceplate up. One of the superheroes' eyes were twitching and his whole body shuddered even beneath the armor. Signs that his body wasn't gonna be able to handle that much alcohol before him being in a very sorry state much longer.
"It's at the back with a large sign, one on the left. Can't miss it." Husk said lazily as he slinked behind the bar with his beer bottle still in hand. A quick swig and he turned back at tinman just in time to see him fall onto a particularly busty succubus.
He could only make out the guy saying something along the lines of 'hello beautiful' before a loud slap was heard. Succubi hated when you just came into them. They wanted to be the ones to take charge. Found that out the hard way a long time ago.
Didn't mean a lot of them didn't like the object of their affections flirting back though.
Tony slid his faceplate back down after he regained his bearings. That slap was hard enough to make his metallic skin ring and send him stumbling back. Damn, he guessed demons of all kinds were more powerful than humans.
Although he did see the succubus walk away with a reddened hand and a blush after she saw his handsome face.
Good to know he still had his incredible charm with the ladies. That would've been awful to go through the afterlife without. Hell, it was pretty much a Stark family gift at this point.
He quickly found the man's room and had his suit open up in the middle of the average bathroom. He damn near fell out of it after his weight stopped being supported. The rest of that absinthe was really coming back to haunt him.
The mechanical clicking of plates sounded out before the suit locked behind him. He quickly relieved himself and stumbled back out toward the bathroom sinks.
"What the fuck! Why is there a used condom on the counter?!" He yelled as he stumbled back. But instinctively and drunkenly he lifted his arm up. But what he didn't expect to happen was the whine of a repulsors build up and fire at the bathroom sink. Destroying a good chunk of it and the shoddily built counter.
"Shit, hope they don't make me pay for that. Don't got billions of dollars here." He mumbled to himself as he braced against what was left of the counter.
He curiously lifted his hand up to inspect it. And when he did he found that what he saw before on his new body wasn't entirely accurate. While the majority of his body he could see looked like normal human skin but made out of some flexible metal. His hands looked like a silvery combination of his gauntlet and hand. Complete with a glowing repulsor in each palm.
Almost subconsciously he let out the same motions and mental signals that he wired to warm up the repulsors. The one on his hand began to glow brighter as he felt a slight energy surge on his Arc Reactor.
It was odd, he felt more in tune with the energy source, not like the handicap he felt before. But the source of his strength, the source of his courage. And now, it was the source of raw power for his new body.
He began to examine himself more in the slightly cracked mirror of the club's bathroom. A quick glance to his side told him that no one had entered the bathroom. His suit also remained motionless.
He tugged at the slightly torn shirt. Pieces showing through to his metallic skin. Lines of artificial muscles being covered with skin like plates of flexible metal that mirrored his suits in a far more subtle way than his hands.
At least his fingers were still as flexible and usable as normal hands. Ever try using a screwdriver with a gauntlet on? Not fun. But then again, he also felt like he could punch holes through solid concrete even without his suit.
This was just a lot for the superhero and genius to take in. The last few days of his life were filled with so much insanity that it wasn't even funny anymore. From giant, gamma filled rage beasts, Norse gods that could flatten buildings, a supersoldier frozen in time and a splash of super spies. And here he was, a man in a suit of armor.
The best and most badass suit of armor on the planet that could probably take down armies, but at the end of the day. Underneath all that tech and armor, he was still a mortal man. Not even as strong or skilled as Barton or Natasha.
But this series of events, this could change everything. He felt stronger, faster, hell he even felt smarter than he was before. What even was his IQ now? 202? Certainly even smarter than the pompous Reed Richards. His tech was certainly better than anything that came out of the Baxter building. His Arc Reactor was supposed to go out to the public in just a few months. Hopefully Ms Rhodes and Pepper would keep that in track.
Damn, he could only imagine how both of them were feeling after all this. He tried calling Pepper while he was carrying the nuke, but she never picked up the phone. He didn't even know where Rhodey was at the moment. Probably going through basic training with his old suit.
He sighed as he looked down toward the sink, his body swaying as the alcohol swirled around his system. He certainly had a bit higher of a tolerance as well here he guessed.
He was brought from his musings when he heard the bathroom door open. He didn't care so much if someone came in to shit. But when he didn't hear any other sounds other than the shuffling of feet he got a bit suspicious. He glanced curiously upwards to see what the problem was.
What he was not expecting to see was what looked like a bunch of mechanical demons standing around him with guns. Some have odd bits of technology grafted onto their bodies. Some with old phonographs for a mouth. Some with speakers for ears and another he even saw had camera lenses for eyes.
One in the back even had an antenna sticking out of his head.
But the thing that really stood out was the far larger figure that was looking almost lovingly at his suit. Tracing his blackened fingers across the armor plates and following the grooves of the food up mechanisms. It was his most impressive feat of engineering yet, a suit that was able to unlock, allow him inside and fully seal around him.
But he didn't like the way the person with a large tv for a head stared at his suit. The same way Obadiah stared at his upgraded Reactor. The same way hammer obsessed over his tech. The same way the government looked when they wanted all of his armors.
It would be a cold day here before he let someone he didn't trust take anything of his.
"I gotta admit, this one piece of engineering you got here. Better than pretty much anything I've seen from Hell and Earth alike. Even with all the superficial damage to the plating."
It was then that the man turned around and showed Tony his face. The crackle of a crt tv stared at him. But with a mouth and eyes on the screen that stared at him. It would have been unnerving for a younger version of him. But he'd seen a lot of shit, so, even in his clearly drunken state he wasn't too fazed.
"So, I have to ask. Did you build this great piece of tech? Or did some other brainiac build the damn thing and have you pilot it?" He asked with a fine of arrogance Tony had heard far too many times for his liking. But hey, at least he doesn't speak like those pompous assholes on the board or the Senate.
Seriously, was being a douchebag a requirement for being a politician?
"Who's asking?" Tony said with a neutral face as he carefully sat himself back on the counter. He didn't trust himself to not sway around if he was standing, and he wanted to look as put together as he could in front of assholes with guns.
He was surprised the guy didn't get angry at that comment. He wanted to kiss him off. Oh well, he'd have more opportunities.
"It's been a long time since someone actually talked back to me. I don't like it." He said simply with a noticeable frown. Good, he was getting the guy angry. Angry people made dumb decisions.
"Well, no one ever said I was politically correct. Nor did anybody ever say I wasn't brutally honest. So when you're like me you tend to piss people off when you don't give them the answer they want. But I'm gonna ask again? Who wants to know and why." He said with finality, putting on his best businessman mask.
It was strange, he could almost feel the alcohol wearing off, at his normal rate he shouldn't be sober for a few hours more. But at this rate it would probably burn through his system in 20 minutes.
Well then, maybe this would be interesting.
The tall man walked over to him, purposely stomping his feet to sound heavier, an intimidation tactic maybe? But he towered over Tony by a good foot or so. His crackling tv screen stared down at him, hateful eyes on them. Tony simply stared back with a blank expression.
"What, am I supposed to be scared or something? Buddy, I have acquaintances that are a lot scarier than you. So if you're trying to intimidate me, then you're gonna have to try a lot harder than whatever it is you're doing." Tony said with a smirk. He watched the man grow angrier with each word he said.
Asshole was probably very used to getting what he wanted.
Even his henchman he could tell were shocked by what they were seeing. Nobody must've stood up to their boss before. Well, Tony motherfucking Stark was a man of firsts.
"Listen you little shit, you're gonna tell me what I wanna know or I'm gonna turn your ass into paste and take that piece of scrap right in front of you. So either tell me what I want to know or you die!". Said then walking monument the the 70s as he poked Tony right in the chest.
Tony simply narrowed his eyes at the screen, now crackling dangerously with that static sound. He almost smelled a hint of ozone in the air as well.
"You'll get the same answer as everyone else, you ain't getting my tech." He said as his arms crossed.
He definitely didn't like the way the demon smiled wickedly after that.
"Thank you for answering." He said simply before he grabbed Tony by the arm. He then proceeded to throw him through the wall. The solid concrete wall.
It took him several moments to realize what had to happen to him. And through that time he was still flying several dozen feet in the air. On instinct he sent the same mental command and motions to his repulsors. But surprisingly he felt the repulsors he'd found on his hands and ones he didn't know about on his feet flare to life with a whine.
He quickly stabilized himself in midair. The sound of screaming people dwarfed the subtle whine of the massless drives. It took him several moments to calm down and realize he was flying, flying without his armor.
Ok, so it would seem that his body had more than some cosmetic changes. Good to know, but he still felt like hell from being thrown through the wall. But considering he should be dead from having that happen, then it must mean that he's more durable now too.
He smiled to himself as he watched the walking TV come out of the hole in the wall. Carrying his suit under his arms, he scowled as he saw the demon drag his armor around like a ragdoll. Patrons of the club screamed as they ran for the exit. Seemed like everyone was afraid of the TV. Let's see just how strong the fucker is.
He sent another remote command to his armor and it flared to life with a whine. It immediately shot out from the grasp of the demon and landed on the ground beneath him.
He cut the repulsors before firing them again once he was close to the ground.
He jumped toward his armor and with another command it opened up from behind before he was encased in a thousand pounds of titanium once again.
"You know, I kicked the ass of the last person who threw me through a wall. But he was my best bud and I was drunk as hell. So you should be thinking to yourself, what am I gonna do to you?" Tony taunted the demon and his goons as he squared his shoulders.
The tv growled as he pointed at Tony. The goons immediately opened fire with their guns. More powerful than the pistol his armor was shot with before, but they were only 5.56 rounds. Even if they were demon versions, they didn't do more than dent the thick plating.
So he simply stood there and took the bullets. His suit might have a few more dents now, but the dumbfounded look they gave him was worth it.
"My turn."
Tony had made a manual targeting pattern for his missiles. So he simply straightened his spine as his shoulder armor opened up and the other salvo of micro missiles shot out and flew through the air.
Over a half dozen hit the tv demon, while the other two and a half dozen hit his goons. It took several seconds for the dust to clear and he smirked when he saw that the goons weren't any more than body parts on the ground. Evidently they weren't much stronger than Chitauri.
His smirk was wiped off his face when he saw the tv demon with his arms held up in defense. An livid expression on his face as he stared at Tony.
"I'm gonna pry your corpse from that armor!" He screamed as a powerful boot of lightning sprung from his hand toward Tony.
He barely ducked to the side with the hell of a quick repulsor flare. But he got nailed with a second bolt of lightning. It arced across his armor and scorched plating that made him freeze up momentarily.
Once the lightning stopped he saw the power bar on his armor read over 250%. He smirked for a moment, thank God he made some adjustments after the fight with Thor and Vanko.
So when the angry tv demon came charging at him with blinding speed he brought his arms out in front of him and dumped the energy into a full repulsor beam from both hands.
The tv demon took the attack directly to the chest and let out a short hell of pain. He'd scorched the rather expensive suit the demon wore and part of his chest.
Tony brought his arms behind him and the flaps on the back of his armor opened up and launched him forward and into the stunned demon. He pressed his advantage and struck the demon in the face with a right hook that slightly cracked the screen of the demon.
The demon then snarled at him before static filled the air. Messing with his armor's sensors he stared at the demon and charged another repulsor blast. But just before he released it the demon disappeared.
He quickly found out where the demon disappeared to when a lightning coated fist slammed into the back of his helmet. His head rang like a gong as he fell forward. But the demon pressed the attack and slammed his foot into the back.
He slammed into the ground and broke the expensive looking tile.
"You're lucky this is my club, or else I would be even more pissed at you for causing me to destroy it." The demon said with a bitter tone as he grabbed Tony by the back and threw him into the ground once again.
Tony let out a cough as he saw the demon's fist come down toward his face. He fired up his suits reactor and fired a unibeam into the center of the demon's torso. He flew upward before Tony jumped up and slammed his fist into the demon's face. Throwing the demon into the bar.
He pulled up his faceplate and spit a glob of blood out onto the floor. Still the same crimson it seems. He watched the demon get up from the ruined bar.
"Who the fuck even are you? I was just trying to have a nice drink to come with dying and you had to go and try stealing my shit! I get this is Hell and your supposed to suffer, but give a guy a fucking break!" Tony yelled at the man as he finally got up from the counter, his suit even more ruined and burn marks appeared on his chest.
Good, that meant he was doing damage. But a quick glance down would show his suit was taking a beating too. He just had to hope that him and the armor held out longer than the demon did.
The demon snarled at him. "I'm Vox, one of hell's Overlords! And you should have just gotten out of my way just like all the other cattle that fall down here. But it seems like some demons just don't know their damn place in this shit hole!" The overlord yelled at him before sending another bolt of lighting at him.
Tony could barely move while the lightning overloaded the mechanisms in his suit. The armor was being scorched as well, and his HUD read that the plating's temperature was heating up.
Vox then disappeared in a burst of static and reappeared in front of him once again. He slammed a lightning coated fist into his chest before slamming his other fist into Tony's abdomen, making the armor groan as it tried to avoid buckling against the supernatural strength going against it.
Vox then roundhouse kicked Tony in the chest, cracking his reactor glass and sending him flying. But Tony stopped his movement with a repulsor flare and slid his boots along the ground.
He stared at the raging Vox for a moment. He needed to stay away from those lightning beams. They may power up his reactors, but they also immobilized him and left his defenses wide open for attack. And he also seems to teleport whenever that static builds up.
He saw Vox charge up another of the lightning beams and knew what he had to do. He fired his repulsors and shot into the air with a jet of muon plasma and nearly went to the ceiling before banking sharply to the side as a beam of lightning hit where he was. Tony then filled to his right while flying in a wide circle as he dodged another beam of lightning.
He saw them go straight through the ceiling and into the sky. He then saw the supposed overlord get surrounded in static again. So he was about to teleport again huh? Let's see how he liked this.
As soon as Tony saw him disappear he cut his repulsors. Causing him to drop like a rock. Just in time to see Vox appear just in front of where he was and look bewildered that Tony wasn't there.
He got his answer to where the superhero was with the loud whine of a repulsor charging. A plasma enhanced muon beam slammed into his face, knocking the demon's head back before another two repulsor beams hit him in the chest.
Tony then flared his thrusters once again and flew upward at near supersonic speed. He cut his hand repulsors and let his boot and back thrusters carry him upward. He slammed his fists into God's chest and used him like a shield as they went through the ceiling.
Once they were out in the hot hell sky he threw Vox over his head into the sky. To y used the demon being disoriented and brought up his right forearm. The compartment inside opened up and revealed a missile.
It soared through the air and slammed into the demon. Exploding in a shower of Stark grade explosives. But it seemed like the moment the demon was shrouded from sight he teleported.
Tony then got kicked in the back of the head, disorienting the superhero momentarily as he fell to the roof and created a small crater in it. Vox then slammed his fist into the suit's chest cracking and bending the armor. Thankfully the bastard missed his reactor.
Tony rolled to the side to avoid God's attack. The demon then formed a blade of lightning in each hand as heunged toward Tony.
He got up to his knees and fired dual repulsor beams into Vox. But the overlord brought the lightning blades up to block them, scattering his attack into a shower of exotic particles.
Tony dodged God's next attack as best he could. But the blades still sliced down his left arm. Cutting deep into the suit and exposing circuitry. Sparks and bits of stray plasma fell to the ground as his arm malfunctioned.
He shut off power to the damaged section with a mental command and the sparks stopped. He backed away from the next sword strike. But he couldn't get away quick enough as Vox slashed the sword across his chest. A thin cut clean through the titanium went from the top right of his chest to his lower left. The Arc Reactor now sat exposed as the glass shattered from the immense heat quickly added to it.
Vox came in for a final attack as he jumped into the air and was about to bring both of his lighting blades down and cut him in half.
But he had a trump card. He funneled power to his right wrist. A compartment popped out from above his hand and glowed and angry red before the sound of the air ionizing struck out. Vox tried to get out of the way by teleporting. But a bright ruby laser struck out from Tony's hand and cut clean through God's right arm at the shoulder.
He reappeared several dozen feet away from Tony with a look on his face that said he was in extreme pain. His right arm stayed behind while the rest of him teleported. He looked at Tony with a murderous expression.
Tony still held up his hand as the laser steamed to cool down. A click sounded out as it snapped back into place as he readied himself for the next attack. He was determined to end this now.
But it seemed like Vox had the same idea.
"I'm gonna turn you to ash!" Vox screamed at him.
Tony smirked behind his helmet. "Funny, I was about to say the same!"
The air itself crackled and hissed as Vox summoned every bit of lighting he could. His left hand lit up with an orb of pure yellow lightning. Ionized air glowed all around him as he put every bit of effort into his abilities.
Tony straightened his back as he felt his suit's plates begin to lock into position as he charged up his strongest attack.
"Initiate double Arc Reactor synchronization." He said to his suit as the reactor in his chest and the one in his suit began to sync up with each other. A loud whine as muons and heavy plasma were forced together inside his suit. Blue arcs of olas.a it ited the air around him as pockets of his armor opened up around the reactor. The exotic particles were encased in a ball of condensed plasma in front of the reactor becoming denser and denser.
This was his ace in the hole he built into this suit. The Mega Unibeam.
Sound almost seemed to cut out for a moment as they both had charged their attacks. Before a loud boom sounded out as the attacks launched and collided with one another.
He thought the reaction of his and Rhodeys repulsors was big. This created a massive shockwave that knocked both of them back to their edges of the roof. His arms struck out to the side and his armor locked to deal with the force.
A pint of highly dense energy was forming where unholy lightning and exotic plasma particles met. Melting the point where they met.
But all things came to an end.
Vox couldn't keep up anymore and the shockwave of energy went back toward him and the mega Unibeam melted his entire body. A scream was the only thing he let out before he was nothing more than subatomic ash.
A trail of molten metal and concrete was left in the path of destruction.
But it was all Tony could give as well. He'd just expanded all the hydrogen fuel for the suits reactor and over 95% of the fuel for the one in his chest. A d he was exhausted.
His suit unlocked as the lights on his helmet flickered off. Tony felt his vision going dark as he fell back off the roof. Over 70 feet below.
He landed with a loud crash on his back. The battered plating scuffed and dented. He laid there, unable to move as he felt his reactor barely flicker. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed was a mass of white and black hair and a pair of crimson eyes.
