The Japanese performers laughed as they crowded around Hiroki in the hallway behind the stage, giving him a paper bag. He took it with a breathy 'thanks' and pressed it to his face. He breathed into it for a while, willing himself to stop hyperventilating.
"I don't understand what's wrong, you did amazing, Kamijou-san!" the Japanese Soprano exclaimed, patting Hiroki's back. "Why are you freaking out?"
Hiroki finally took a deep breath, calming himself. He lowered the bag.
"I was sooo fucking nervous, you don't even know," Hiroki moaned, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "I'm so glad it's over."
"Oh shut up, Kamijou. You got a standing ovation, for crying out loud. But I must say, seeing you shaking so hard that you were almost vibrating the stage… now that was funny!" the Japanese Bass joked. The whole quartet laughed, even Hiroki.
"Did the baby kick at all while you were up there?" the Japanese Alto asked, giving her water bottle to Hiroki, who promptly pressed it against his hot forehead.
"Not really. The baby was a good little brat up there," Hiroki said, grinning as he patted his belly. The Japanese performers laughed again. Hiroki was about to open his mouth to say more, but something caught his eye and he looked over. Miyagi was walking briskly down the hall, smiling. Hiroki immediately gave the Japanese Alto her water bottle back and rushed as fast as he could manage towards Miyagi.
"Hey, Kami-chan," Miyagi cooed, holding his arms out as if expecting Hiroki to fly into them. However, Hiroki smacked his shoulder and lightly punched him in the chest.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you and Shinobu were coming?" Hiroki huffed, puffing up his cheeks. Miyagi shrugged.
"We told you we were coming to the concert, right? We just hopped on a plane and flew over here last night. The only problem is the jet lag, but it's really not that big of a deal. The concert kept us wide awake. Oh, Kami-chan, you looked so pretty with that big goofy smile on your face!" Miyagi exclaimed, flying forward and gathering a very flustered Hiroki into his arms. Hiroki thrashed around in his grip.
"Get the fuck off of me! Miyagi!" Hiroki screeched, flailing his fists. He froze, however, as Miyagi tightened his grip.
"I'm afraid I can't do that just yet. Come with me," Miyagi said, suddenly serious. It took Hiroki off guard, and before he could register what Miyagi had said, he was being dragged down the hall.
"Wha-? Let go! Let go of me!" Hiroki barked, digging in his heels as Miyagi dragged him around the corner. He was pulled through crowds of people, a lot of them congratulating him on the way. "Where are you taking me, Miyagi?"
"Just shut up, I'm not going to hurt you," Miyagi replied over his shoulder. Hiroki pinched his lips together. He was pulled into a rather large meeting room, where some of the alumni performers stood around with members of their countries. Miyagi then veered off to the right, leading Hiroki to a door. He threw it open and shoved Hiroki inside without another word, slamming the door shut behind him and casting him into silence.
"Miyagi? Miyagi!" Hiroki shouted, whirling around and jiggling the doorknob. Someone was holding it tightly on the other side. He pounded on the door for a minute or so, but then gave up as he turned around.
The room was ornate and large, with tall, arched ceilings and a crystal chandelier hanging from the center. Several bookcases dotted the walls, giving the room a library-like feel. On the opposite side of the room was a huge wall made entirely of glass, revealing the heavily falling snow outside and the small forest behind the building.
The room was so big that it took Hiroki a few seconds to notice Nowaki standing before the window wall, gazing out at the snow. Hiroki sighed in relief and walked towards him.
"Nowaki, did Miyagi drag you in here, too? Do you have any idea what's going o-" Hiroki began as he approached Nowaki. His words hitched in his throat, however, as Nowaki turned around, the half-crumpled bouquet of white roses in the crook of his elbow. It contrasted with his entirely black attire: black pants and a black dress shirt with the sleeves messily rolled up a quarter of the way up his arm.
He simply stared at Hiroki with half-lidded, glimmering eyes, not answering Hiroki's question.
Needless to say, Hiroki was confused.
"Wha… What is it?" he asked slowly. Nowaki outstretched his hand, offering the bouquet to his little lover. Hiroki blinked and took it, cradling the flowers in his arms. "What are these for?"
"You were amazing tonight, Hiro-san," Nowaki said, his voice low. Although it was quiet, his words resonated in the large room. Hiroki blushed.
"Shut up. I'm sure anyone could have done it," Hiroki said, scowling down at the flowers in his hands. "You didn't have to go and get me all of this… a hug… or a kiss would suffice, I guess."
Hiroki's voice had gone quiet, and he wavered on his feet uncomfortably. Nowaki took a step forward and took Hiroki's cheek in his hand, tilting his head up to meet his eyes.
"No. You deserve so much more than that," Nowaki murmured. He stroked the soft skin just below Hiroki's eye with his thumb. "There was a line in your song that was particularly interesting to me… do you know what one it was?"
Hiroki thought for a moment, averting his eyes.
"Um… 'I love my love because I know my love loves me'?"
"No."
"Er… the 'mixing the eglantine' part? Because that's just wei-"
"No."
Hiroki's lips parted as Nowaki gazed down at him. Instead the usual loving, gentle expression that was always on his face, instead his eyes told of desperation. They told of anxiety.
They told of fear.
"Nowaki, are you okay?" Hiroki asked slowly, reaching up to caress Nowaki's cheek. He gasped as his pinky brushed Nowaki's neck, where one of his veins was positively throbbing under his skin. His heart was pounding hard, and Hiroki tilted his head in concerned confusion.
"Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered. He wrenched away from Hiroki and stumbled back, putting his head in his hand and digging the heel of his hand into his forehead. He stared hard at the floor, his jaw clenched. "I'm s-sorry. I didn't think I'd be this God damn nervous."
Hiroki frowned, becoming upset.
"Nowaki, you're scaring me. Is it about the baby? Are we in danger? What's wrong?" Hiroki asked frantically, jerkily looking around the room in a search for threats. Nowaki's head snapped up, his lips parted and his eyebrows furrowed.
"No, Hiro-san! Oh God, I'm sorry I scared you," Nowaki said, clumsily rushing forward and bringing Hiroki into his arms. The bouquet of roses fell to the floor, forced out of Hiroki's hands by Nowaki's big, overbearing body. "We're not in danger, don't worry."
Hiroki's hunched shoulders relaxed.
"Then what's wrong, Nowaki?"
"I'm sorry," he repeated, tightening his grip on his little lover. "I'm being selfish. I'm sorry. It's just that my plan got thrown all out of balance after hearing… after hearing you sing that."
Hiroki blinked and pushed Nowaki away from him, holding him by the elbows as Nowaki held him by the hips.
"What the hell are you talking about? What part of the song are you referring to? What plan?"
Nowaki shut his eyes briefly, then opened them again to gaze into Hiroki's russet stare, begging for understanding.
"…'So now these two are married, and happily they be. Like turtledoves together, in love and unity'," Nowaki recited, so softly that Hiroki could barely hear him. Hiroki's hold loosened on Nowaki's elbows as his eyes widened.
"What...?" Hiroki breathed. Nowaki released him and took a step back, digging around in the pocket of his black dress pants.
"I tried asking that night we had that dinner date, back when Kanagawa-san first came to you about the concert. I thought I had you that night, after hearing you tell me that I'd make the perfect father. I'm actually glad Kanagawa-san interrupted us. It made me realize that I didn't have you completely, and I wasn't ready to ask the question. I was going to wait until after the baby was born, but I just can't let this rot in my pocket for another second," Nowaki said. He finally pulled out a small black box from his pocket, and Hiroki stared at it, horrified.
"You… I… don't tell me…" Hiroki choked. He glanced up at Nowaki, who was shaking violently, almost crushing the box in his grip.
"Marry me," he whispered hoarsely, collapsing to his knees before Hiroki and trembling on the ground at his feet. He weakly raised the black box, opening it and revealing a gold engagement ring. It had a beautiful yet simple diamond on its crest, with smaller diamonds encrusted into the gold band on either side of the main gem.
"Wha-What the… I don't even-" Hiroki sputtered, flapping his lips speechlessly as his throat clamped. Nowaki shook even harder.
"Please, Hiro-san. I'm begging you. I signed for the apartment, right? We're having a baby, right? So getting married… I want to nail you to me forever. You can never escape from me," Nowaki said tremulously, lowering his head more and clenching his free fist on his thigh.
"Nowaki, you-"
"I know it's selfish! But I just can't live with the constant worry anymore. I can't stand it."
"Just what the fuck are you so worried about?" Hiroki shouted, clenching his fists at his sides. Nowaki looked up at him, his face already crestfallen. "Don't you trust me?"
Nowaki clambered to his feet, cradling the jewelry box against his chest and averting his eyes.
"Of course… I trust you. I'm just afraid… I mean, I'm always afraid that one day I'll wake up in the morning to see that you've run away from me or something because of my selfishness," Nowaki muttered. Hiroki squinted at him. "Th-That's part of the reason I wanted to have a baby so bad. I mean… of course I want a family! I do! It's just… I also want to give you a reason to keep you with me forever. I want to make you depend on me so much that you wouldn't be able to live a single day without me there by your side. I've already achieved my goal of becoming the first man who you share a mutual love with. But now, my goal is to become the last man you ever share a mutual love with."
"Nowaki…" Hiroki whispered, his eyes softening. "I-I didn't know, you are always smiling and all happy, so I-"
Nowaki laughed wryly, running a nervous hand through his already tousled hair.
"I know. For eight and a half years… this whole time, it has been the ultimate misunderstanding," Nowaki breathed. Hiroki's eyes widened.
"Wait… wait, how long have you had that engagement ring?"
"Eight years, seven months, and two days," Nowaki answered immediately, refusing to look at Hiroki and instead staring blankly over his shoulder. "I bought this ring the day we became lovers, Hiro-san."
Hiroki felt faint, swaying on his feet.
"S-So… So that's why you've been keeping count," Hiroki whispered. Nowaki nodded jerkily.
"I don't want to keep count anymore, Hiro-san. I can't stand living like this for a second longer. I need to know: will you give your entire life to me and allow me to love you and take care of you for as long as I live?"
The room went silent as Nowaki stared hard at the floor, holding the ring box in his tightly clenched fist. Hiroki watched him solemnly, the crease between his brows deepening more and more by the second.
"Hey, who exactly to you think I am?" Hiroki asked angrily. Nowaki looked up, blinking in confusion. "Who has been the one to stick by your stupid ass for all of these years? Who sleeps with you and only you at night? Who's carrying your God damn brat? Me, that's who! What do you take me for, a slut?"
Nowaki sputtered incoherently.
"N-N-No, I never-"
"'Nail you to me', you say. 'Give me your entire life', you say. Are you a fucking idiot? I've been nailed to you since day one!"
Hiroki flew into Nowaki, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him down to his face. He roughly kissed his very surprised lover, his lips moving angrily as they expressed every emotion he was feeling: anger, disappointment, exasperation…
Love.
Hiroki pulled away with a loud pop, still fisting his hands in Nowaki's shirt. Nowaki stared down at him with widened eyes, his lips reddened and swollen.
"And furthermore," Hiroki continued, pointing accusingly at his idiot lover. "Only you could make a proposal this unromantic and stupid. Since I'm such a nice person, I'll give you another chance. Try again, and this time, do it right, you fucking brat!"
Nowaki nodded vehemently and Hiroki released him with a flourish, stepping back and crossing his arms. Nowaki immediately dropped to one knee and opened the engagement ring box. He cleared his throat.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to take care of you, and protect you, and give you all of the love I can give. I promise, with all of my heart, that we'll grow old together. So… Kamijou Hiroki, will you marry me?"
Hiroki didn't care that Nowaki had ended up sounding lame. He didn't care that Nowaki looked like a mess, with his disheveled shirt and his tousled hair. Instead, his crossed arms tightened as he clenched his jaw and scowled away from Nowaki, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Y-You bet your stupid ass th-that you'll be s-stuck with me until we're old and wr-wr-wrinkly and disgusting," Hiroki muttered. His body jerked inadvertently a few times before he bared his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. Tears forced their way out of his closed eyelids, dribbling down his cheeks and trailing down his jaw to his chin. They dripped off onto the top of his baby bump, soaking into the soft material of his sweater. He unfolded his arms from their position across his chest, letting them flop uselessly down to his sides. A warm hand immediately took his left hand, and a ring was slipped onto his ring finger. A pair of lips pressed to his knuckles.
"Hiro-san… I'm so happy that I can hardly breathe," Nowaki mumbled against Hiroki's hand.
"Idiot, I didn't even answer yet!" Hiroki barked, snapping his eyes open and allowing the torrent of tears to gush down his face. He glowered at Nowaki, but secretly he felt relieved that the loving, gentle expression on his lover's face had returned.
"Your body has given me enough of an answer, Hiro-san. Just give up, it's too late. I'm never letting you go now."
"That's not how it works, you cheeky bastard!"
"Then what is your answer?"
Hiroki fell silent. He paused before very slowly reaching up to wrap his arms around Nowaki's neck. He buried his face in his lover's shoulder.
"…Yes."
