Chapter Three
"Eat them for a sickle?"
"No Seth," Kendra said with a sigh.
"Come on, it's just candy," He taunted, waving the small box in front of her.
She snatched the box of Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean, peering inside. An assortment of dark grays, browns, and greens met her eyes. She closed it, tossing it back at Seth, shaking her head.
"Did you really go through and put every possible gross flavor into one box?" She asked.
"Well I didn't," He said, clearly disappointed that he hadn't been able to get her to eat one. "Eve was the one that did– we have like a dozen ready to be handed out."
"Well perhaps in the future don't be so insistent on me taking it– that itself raises like ten red flags," Kendra replied, smirking at Seth as stuck his tongue out at her.
"I have boxes with the good flavors as well," He offered, pulling another one of his 'custom boxes' from his pocket. "I'm sure there's mint flavor somewhere in here, freshen up your breath in case Bracken comes along..."
"For the final time Seth, we're just studying," She knew it was a pointless argument though.
"Studying each other's eyes?" He asked, batting his lashes dramatically– resulting in a laugh when she rolled her eyes. "Bracken definitely has been studying yours, he's mentioned them once or twice... maybe a few times more than that."
He grinned triumphantly when he saw the startled look in Kendra's gaze, a blush starting to climb her cheeks, and she swiftly shook her head.
"If it's just studying, they what are you guys studying?" Seth asked.
"The Patronus charm," She replied. "Bracken is helping me learn it."
The smirk on Seth's face faded, blinking a few times as she said this. He stared up at her for a moment. "Wha... what?" He stuttered out. "Wait, you didn't–"
"You said you he knew how to summon a Patronus, and I haven't been getting anywhere on my own, so I asked him if he could help me."
"And he agreed?" Seth cried, all humor gone from his gaze. Kendra looked back at him, confused, but Seth looked almost horrified at hearing this. He glanced about, a few people passing them in the streets having glanced their way, but no one's gaze lingered. He bolted pass Kendra, hurrying forward as she headed after him.
"Seth?" She asked, confusion on her face, as he came to a stop.
"Kendra, you know he–" He paused, again looking about, before lowering his voice as he took a step towards her. "Kendra, you shouldn't have asked him to do that, he... he doesn't like thinking about that, he..."
He hesitated, and Kendra's gut twisted.
"There's a reason why he decided to learn that spell, he lost, he–" Seth closed his eyes. "Kendra, when he was younger his dad was killed by dementors," Seth whispered, and her eyes widened. "Talking about Patronuses probably only reminds him about that time and..."
Seth trailed off, clearly not sure if this was something he should be telling her– but Kendra already felt sick. Her mind went back to when Bracken had summoned his Patronus, the way his entire demeanor seemed to have changed during the process, becoming quiet and distant. How quickly he seemed to jump away from the topic of the charm so easily, as if he'd rather talk about anything else.
Then why had he agreed to help teach her? Had he felt pressured, not wanting to be rude and say no? Did he feel forced into doing this?
Kendra looked away, and Seth grabbed her arm. "Er, um, I probably shouldn't have said anything, but... I–"
"No, it's probably for the best you said something. The last thing he probably needs is talking about Patronuses every week if it just reminds him of..." She took in a deep breath.
Their conversation awkwardly drifted away from there, neither knowing how to end it, and neither wanting to continue it. Seth attempted to lighten the mood, and within a few minutes he was joking like his normal self. Kendra would offer him smiles as they continued their trip through Hogsmeade, but she couldn't get rid of the heavy feeling in her stomach.
Why hadn't she noticed the way he had been acting earlier? Why hadn't she pieced together that he was clearly uncomfortable with what she had asked him to teach her?
She'd have to make sure this week was the last week they met up, she didn't want him to feel like he had to help for any longer. She didn't know what she should say to Bracken though, hearing that Seth had told her probably wouldn't be the best thing to say...
Kendra looked up as she noticed Seth turning, eyes narrowing when she saw where he was heading. "Seth, you know your head of house banned you from going into Zonko's!"
"What Professor Fisk doesn't know won't kill him!"
A small wave of silvery mist drifted out from Kendra's wand, the wisps fading away seconds after the spell had been cast. Kendra stared at them as they vanished, before her gaze slipped to the ground. She had failed at summoning even her usual silver veil of a Patronus, only these tiny bursts coming out from her wand every time she muttered the incantation.
"...I don't think you're focusing on a happy enough memory," Bracken said slowly. "Perhaps use whatever one you were using last time?"
"I am..." Kendra muttered, unable to make eye contact with him.
They were back in the Room of Requirement for their third meeting, and Kendra had been a mess. She had no idea of what she should say to Bracken, and so she hadn't said basically anything at all. And though Bracken didn't comment, she did notice him frowning at her silence, which made her feel even worse. There was no reason for her to pull away from him, but she didn't know what she should do.
"Something's bothering you," Bracken finally said. "Something big enough to be affecting your Patronus."
Kendra knew this was obvious, but she still couldn't help but flinch slightly as he spoke. She hesitantly met his gaze, her thoughts racing as she thought back on what she had learned. She had been dreaded this meetup ever since, a horrible guilt having been following her. A guilt for having him teach her when it probably only reminded him of what had happened to his father, and a guilt for knowing parts of his life he probably had never planned on telling her.
Bracken's blue eyes stared into her green eyes, his gaze gentle, but unblinking. She tried to look away, but felt almost mesmerized as they looked at each other. After a moment Bracken let out a soft sigh. "...Seth told you?"
Her gut twisted– what her panic that obvious? No, as obvious as her panic was there was no way he'd know the reason behind it. Perhaps he was talking about something else Seth might have told her, or maybe Seth had mentioned their conversation to him? Or just enough for him to piece together what happened?
She wrapped her arms around herself. "He– he did," She whispered. "I mentioned that you were teaching the Patronus charm, and he told me what happened and–"
She was practically sputtering out her words, vision blurring as she spoke. The horrible guilt seemed to surge up with each word she said. She wasn't supposed to know this, this was part of his personal life. He probably didn't even want her to know, but she did. And every time they met up she was probably doing nothing but remind him of such a time–
Her thoughts seemed to come to a halt when she felt a pair of arms around her.
That's when she realized there were tears running down her face, her entire body trembling as she spoke. She wasn't quite sure when Bracken had gotten so close, but he had pulled her into his embrace, his warm arms wrapped around her. She instantly quieted down, startled, but she didn't pull away.
"What did he say?" He asked quietly.
"...That your dad was killed by dementors..." She whispered back quietly.
He let out a sigh, not saying anything for a moment. He then stepped back, his arms going to his side, and she couldn't help but instantly miss his embrace. She looked up at him, his gaze having that far off look.
"Killed isn't the word," He said softly. "Dementors don't kill. He's still alive... but he's gone. Without his soul he's gone..."
"I'm– I'm sorry. I'm sorry if asking you made you remember, I shouldn't have asked you to teach me–"
"You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know."
Bracken had pulled out his wand, and was now uncertainly passing it from hand to hand. He sank down to the ground, and Kendra sat down next to him, silence filling the room.
"...I was with Father that night," Bracken said. "There were three dementors, and Father summoned his Patronus to drive them off... it was enough to keep them from reaching us, but not to chase them away. He couldn't keep the spell up forever, so he told me to follow the Patronus back to the house, and that everything would be alright..."
Bracken's hand tightened on the wand.
"I didn't know better, I was too young to know better, I didn't even know what they were at the time... but I was scared enough to do what he said. I just walked away, not knowing that I was leaving him to be... to be..."
Bracken choked on the last few words, several tears entering his eyes.
"They found him later that night, but I didn't understand what had happened, I didn't understand until years later. Father wasn't sick, he wasn't hurt and that wasn't why he wasn't talking... he was gone. The man in the hospital isn't him, it's just a shell, and he's gone..."
"I'm so sorry," Kendra whispered.
"...You said you wanted to know my Patronus's name," He said softly. "Well, I named him after my father. A Patronus is a protector... and Father gave everything to protect me."
"...You don't have to teach me anymore," Kendra said. "I don't want you to feel like you have to just because I asked."
Bracken smiled. It was a small smile– but still a smile. "I think Father would be happy knowing I was helping someone learn this spell. It saved my life, and if it could help anyone else then that's what's important," He looked her in the eyes. "Besides, you have your own reason for wanting to learn this spell, don't you?"
She looked down at her feet. "Y-yes, but... but nothing happened, I just–"
"Something must have happened."
"Quidditch World Cup," She said after a moment. "I was able to go over the summer, and y-you know, there was some attacks nearby. No one with seriously hurt, it was all scare tactics and everything was taken care but– but I–"
"You encountered a dementor," Bracken finished, as if pulling the thoughts right from her mind.
"...It didn't even come close..." She whispered. "I saw it in the distance, but I could still feel it, and it was horrible. I couldn't sleep for a week, every time I closed my eyes I could just see it and feel that horrible feeling all over again–"
She forced herself to stop, breathing slightly ragged– what was she doing? Acting as if her brief encounter had actually been dangerous, being shaken up when he had seen worse, when he had gone through worse–!
"That doesn't matter, Kendra," Bracken said, and a warm hand touched her shoulder. "Even from a distance... they're horrifying creatures. I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Kendra didn't say anything.
"I know you can master the spell, Kendra, the magic I've seen you do is really powerful," He squeezed her shoulder. "I'm going to help you."
"I don't want you to feel like you have to–"
"Can I tell you secret?" Bracken asked, and she looked up at him. "The truth is, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time now, but I never knew how to approach you. So when you came up to me asking for help... well, you don't know how happy I was," He let out a small chuckle, but there was still a heaviness. "I promise you, I'm not doing this because I feel like I have to, I really do want to help you."
Kendra didn't know how to respond, but Bracken didn't give her a chance to give a response. He pushed himself to his feet, offering a hand out to her. She hesitantly reached for him, and he grabbed her wrist to help her up. Her skin tingled from where he had touched her, and he slipped his wand away into his pocket.
"I don't think there's much we can do with Patronuses tonight, we'll need to meet up again when we're both feeling... better."
"This weekend?" She asked quietly.
"I think that would work," He said, and she followed him to the door. He held it open for her, and they slipped out into the hallways. "Do you want me to walk you to the Ravenclaw dormitories?"
"If it wouldn't be any trouble..." She began slowly, even though her mind wanted to blurt out 'yes'. She didn't want to be alone, and she didn't want him to be alone either. Not after everything they had talked about.
Hardly any words were said between them as they made their way through the corridors, but there was a comfort in the silence as they walked side by side. The knowledge that Bracken really wanted to help her was... lightening. It made the heaviness in her heart go away, replaced by a feeling she just didn't know how to describe.
