Hey guys! I'm back into the faberry universe after "Abstinence" and "Acquainted".
I wanted to write something different, a little angsty, a new twist for this ship and the other characters.
So, English isn't my first language so I apologize in advance for my mistakes.
Let me know what you think about this one ;)
See you soon
The sun was shining in a way that made everything look like gold on that peaceful September Sunday. The designer sunglasses protected her sleepy eyes from the annoying rays of the sun and hid the obvious dark circles caused by the night shift at Presbyterian Hospital.
She had already had two coffees and, at the moment, caffeine was the only thing that kept her eyelids lifted while she patiently watched strings of people pass before her eyes. She had missed New York.
She forgot the five-hour surgery, Ms. Johnson's face after telling her that her husband hadn't survived the tumor removal, the feeling of helplessness she'd felt; she forgot everything that had happened in the past two months while a smile unknowingly appeared on her tired face once two lively hazel eyes met hers and her feet began to walk automatically.
"Mom!" The child screamed, leaving the brunette's hand to run towards her.
Quinn took him in her arms holding him tightly, the scent of his brown hair made her feel at home, his delicate arms wrapped around her neck tightly and her heart came out of her chest. Eyes closed to enjoy that embrace, she wanted it to last an eternity; her legs shaking with the excitement of seeing him again after hearing only his voice for two months.
She slightly pulled away only to see the sparkle in those shiny eyes and the sly smile- it was missing two teeth. "Hi little man, how are you?" Quinn asked him, trying to hide the tremble in her voice.
"I missed you so much, mom! Don't leave again!" The kid exclaimed, hugging her again and Quinn felt her eyes filled with tears.
"I missed you too, little man." She sighed happily as tiny hands cupped her face and soft lips left a kiss on her cheek with an exaggerated smack.
"Did you bring presents, Aunt Quinn?" A small voice diverted attention from her son and she looked down, the blond child looked at her with hopeful eyes and a contagious smile.
"Don't be rude, Christopher." Brittany admonished him and Quinn softly smiled.
"Of course I brought you presents. You will see them when you get home." Quinn answered and his blue eyes immediately lit up.
"Great, I'll be up all night trying to make him sleep. Thanks Fabray!"
Quinn rolled her eyes and smiled. "He'll get tired, Santana." She reassured her friend and Santana muttered something incomprehensible to herself. "Thanks for bringing Nate to me," Quinn whispered to her friends sincerely as she kissed her son's temple.
"Thank Brittany, I can't even go near the dwarf without wanting to kill her," Santana said, staring at her with a serious look and Quinn nodded weakly.
"Why do you want to kill the dwarves, aunt San?" Nate asked innocently, turning to the woman and Quinn's eyes widened in alarm.
"Okay, let's go watch the ducks at the pond while Aunt Santana and mom go get pancakes." Brittany asked, deflecting the children's attention from that thorny subject; Quinn looked at her with a thankful gaze and placed Nate on the ground.
"I'm glad you're back," Brittany said, hugging her, before the two children held her hands, dragging her towards the park.
"You can't say these things in front of the kids, Santana." Quinn scolded her weakly and Santana whirled around. Quinn wasn't too surprised when she felt her cheek going up in flames.
She had missed Santana's slaps.
"This is for running away," Santana told her with a fiery look and another slap flamed up the other cheek. "This is for defending her."
"Is everything okay here?" A middle-aged gentleman approached them, having witnessed the scene. "Should I call someone?" He asked again and Quinn turned to look at him.
"Don't worry, everything is fine. It's a way of greeting." Quinn reassured him, smoothing the hair that covered her face.
"Are you sure? I can call the police." The man insisted and Santana snorted.
"Could you mind your own fucking business? She is my best friend, I'm trying to make her understand what the fuck is wrong with her life."
Quinn reassured the man once again and sighed in relief as he gave up and walked away suspiciously.
"I'm not defending her but I don't want people to badmouth my son's mother in front of him." Quinn calmly explained to her, starting to walk towards the bar.
"What are you going to do now? Don't tell me you're going to leave again because of that neurosurgery shit." Santana told her bored and Quinn smiled.
Quinn knew Santana had missed her. Despite the time zone, Santana called her every day, wanting to know any kind of news and reporting anything related to Nate; she patiently waited for Santana to video call her at three in the morning just to see her son at Santana's house.
She had said goodbye to her son the day before departure, not wanting to do it at the airport knowing that she wouldn't have had the courage to leave. It was excruciating even to reach her seat on the plane.
Santana had yelled at her for two hours trying to stop her, trying to show her an alternative way to do the right things.
Quinn had always been tempted by the opportunity to go to London and then Seoul. Dr. Robbins had always mentioned that career leap, it would have been an excellent springboard for a future as Chief of surgery.
But Quinn had always refused because of her family, her marriage, her son.
Yet she had been seized by an avalanche of selfish feelings when the same proposal was presented to her again because her marriage was on the edge of a precipice, just like her mental health. She had to do it, she had to leave to get back on her feet doing what she did best, what she could do without even looking.
"No, I came back to stay here, San. I want the position I deserve at the Presbyterian." Quinn said, her gaze straight ahead.
"As much as I appreciate your skills as the crazy neuro-God, that's not what I was talking about. What about the midget?"
Santana hadn't dared to say her name for two months- since the night Quinn told her she was packing her bags to go to London during the summer.
"I think I'll ask for a divorce," Quinn replied calmly. "I talked to a lawyer, he will help me with the matter, I want it to be over immediately."
"He wanted to see you every day," Santana said and Quinn nodded weakly. "It was heartbreaking to see him cry while his incompetent mother didn't know what to tell him. If it wasn't for Brittany, I don't know how things would have turned out. "
"I don't even know how to thank you, I don't know how to repay you for all the mess you solved because of me. You have your family to think about, I should have looked after mine but I couldn't, Santana. I couldn't." Quinn admitted with a lump in her throat and Santana stopped abruptly, looking at her.
"Listen up, Fabray! I'll never forgive you for running away like a coward. Nate needed his mother, not strangers. But it's done, you've been a bad mother. Now you just have to get your dignity back and move on. For you, for your child, and for all the people who love you. Did I make myself clear, asshole?" Santana asked with a firm voice and Quinn looked at her smiling, despite the tears in her eyes.
"What? Do I amuse you? I'm not your fucking personal clown." Santana told her indignantly but Quinn saw her lip quivering.
It was quick the way she wrapped her arms around her friend's body, holding her tightly after two months. "I missed you." She barely whispered into her ear and she had never heard so many bad words come out of Santana's mouth in just ten seconds. It was a new record.
"Whatever. For being an acclaimed neurosurgeon, you are so stupid." Santana told her as she hugged her. "Now let's get the pancakes to the little monsters before they start complaining."
"Can we go to the zoo tomorrow? Aunt Britt said there are hippos. I like hippos." Nate asked as they sat on the floor in the living room of her first Manhattan apartment, playing with the toy cars Quinn had bought in London.
It was weird going back to that apartment. She had never sold it, she couldn't.
The view over Manhattan was lovely and it was comfortable, just the right size, without too many memories hanging on the walls reminding her how a failure it had all turned out to be.
"You have to go to school tomorrow, Nate. But maybe you can go with your mommy in the afternoon." Quinn said, trying to hide the concern in her voice. The child nodded slightly, focusing on the Hot Wheels track.
"Can you come back, mom?" Nate asked without stopping playing with the toy cars and Quinn looked at him miserably. "Did you leave because of me? I promise you I'll be good."
Quinn wanted to cry. She knew she had it all wrong. She knew she had been a bad mother and wanted to go back two months to better manage the situation that had gotten out of hand.
Her hands reached Nate's tiny body and picked him up, hugging him and kissing his forehead. "Nate, look at me," Quinn said, her hand stroking the baby's pale cheek. "I need you to know that it's not your fault what happened and that I love you more than my life but I can't go home, my love. It's a grown-up matter, between your mommy and I but it's not your fault, okay? " Quinn said, holding back the tears and the baby nodded unconvinced.
"We'll see each other almost every day, you can come here, you will have another bedroom and we will fill it with toys while your mother and I sort out our things. I promise that I'll always be here, okay? " Quinn reassured and hugged him.
"Can I have a hug too?" A familiar voice behind them asked, making her jump.
"Grandpa!" The little boy screamed, freeing himself from Quinn's arms to run towards the older man.
"My champion!" The man said, ruffling the blond hair of the little boy who hugged his legs.
"Dad, I didn't hear you come in," Quinn said, standing up and walking towards her father.
"You haven't even heard my calls in the last months," Russel said reproachfully and Quinn sighed.
"Grandpa you have to see the gifts mom brought me!" The child screamed and Russel smiled, leaning towards his grandson.
"Wait for me in the living room, okay?" The man said and the child pouted, stomping his foot on the ground.
"Oh, Nathan. That pout doesn't work on me, you know. " Russel said slightly laughing and the child snorted unhappily, walking back to the living room.
He was just like his mother.
"Your face is all over those pathetic Broadway magazines. You came back two days ago and didn't warn anyone." Her father said taking off his jacket and placing it on the chair. He then headed for the kitchen and Quinn followed him without much choice.
"I needed to clean up the house to make it acceptable for my son," Quinn said, justifying herself and her father sighed.
Two shit days.
She had to set up a house that had been uninhabited for nearly five years, go shopping, she had to make the beds and clean the room, go to work and find the courage to face her son and let him know that she hadn't abandoned him.
"I'm back at the Presbyterian," Quinn added, ignoring her father's silence as he opened the bottle of wine.
"At least you have achieved your purpose after leaving your family," Russel said as Quinn took the two wine glasses from the cabinet.
"I didn't leave my family. I left for a job opportunity that has always been proposed to me and that I have always refused to put my wife's needs first. You're one to talk, dad." Quinn said, placing the two glasses on the kitchen island and Russel poured the wine.
"Don't. You can't blame me for what I did. Or rather, you can. You have every right to blame me but I'm berating you because I don't want you to make the same mistakes. I'm talking to you as your father." Russel said back and Quinn could find nothing to argue.
Russel Fabray was a completely different man.
She had hated him with all her heart. She was sure she was never going to see him again.
But then he got in touch with her after her freshman year at Yale. Quinn had avoided him like the plague.
It took one more year to sit in a bar with her dad for more than a minute, without drastic scenes.
It took two more years to have a civil relationship, one more year to have an almost normal relationship. Six more months to hug him.
Her father was another person, someone she had never known. Someone who didn't expect something from her that she wasn't willing to give.
Russel 2.0 respected her decisions.
They certainly argued, but those discussions were typical disagreements between father and daughter, they had not as essential aim to force her.
Her parents never got back together but they were on good terms and Russel tried to build something with her that Quinn had never known. A real yet fragile relationship.
Quinn had gradually let him in, not without heartbreaking discussions and endless arguments but they had come to a moment of balance.
"I'll take care of the divorce case. You'll get the house and your child, you owe her nothing. You waited too long to act. " Her father sharply said and Quinn shook her head.
"I've already talked to a lawyer. I don't want you to be involved." Quinn admitted and Russel looked at her surprised.
"Do you know a better lawyer than me?" Russel asked, sitting down and looking at her waiting for her answer.
"I don't want a lawyer. I just need someone to help me with the legal shit. I don't want to go to court. I don't want the house because I don't give a fuck about the damn house, I don't want the full custody because my son will end up to hate me for completely separating him from his mother." Quinn firmly said and Russel looked at her seriously.
"He is a Fabray," Russel told her and Quinn shook her head, rubbing her temples. Too much stress to be back from 48 hours.
"He's not just a Fabray, dad. And, objectively, I can't properly take care of him because of my work. Going to court and fighting for him would hurt him and he doesn't deserve it. He's not responsible for our bullshit. I don't want any of that. I need this to be over." Quinn said calmly and Russel sighed, clearly disappointed but not really surprised.
"I never liked her. I never considered her to be up to you even though I thought she had at least good taste and good values." Her dad said with bitterness in his voice and Quinn smiled faintly.
"You can say her name, you know. Rachel cheated on me, you can say that. There is no need to beat around the bush." Quinn shrugged and Russel looked at her, worried about the wall she was building around her, like she didn't care.
"Rachel cheated on you."
Quinn sighed and nodded, looking at her finger, free from the wedding ring.
