In the outskirts of Costuul, in view of Roswaal Manor, one oddly familiar black-haired girl jumped from precarious ledge to precarious ledge. The rigors of her workout had left her coated in sweat, enough to soak both her top and bottom all the way through. Late into her workout, her body wailed in protest, her muscles screaming in agony with every step. Yet she pushed forwards anyway, for the pain she felt now was a mild inconvenience compared to the mind-shattering torture of her past lives. A petty malaise compared to the promise of the ever-increasing agony of her future lives if she were to fail to push herself now.
Pushing off the edge of a makeshift wall, Subaru caught the handle of a black metal pole. As the momentum of his flight twisted him around, the slickness of his sweaty hands forced him to exert excess energy in order to withstand the centripetal force. He grunted as he felt the effects of his strenuous workout reverberate throughout his female body. The narrowing of his vision, the uncontrollable shaking of his arms, and the rapid panting as his lungs begged for oxygen. Even before he'd fully let go he knew he would miss his target. He was beyond the point of making such precise feats of acrobatics. Attempting to course correct, he began to reach out for a second metal pole. Yet even as he could ignore the pain, so too did the physical limits of the human body ignore his drive to push forward. Inevitably, at that very moment he felt a disconnect from his body as all strength left him. I'm not gonna make it, he despaired as his target slipped away from his vision. Despite his best efforts, his consciousness slipped long before he hit the ground.
When Subaru was welcomed back to the waking world, the first thing he noticed was that instead of the unforgiving embrace of the Earth he was now being held up by a pair of gentle, but firm arms. Opening his eyes he came face to face with his mentor of this past year. Perfect reliable Clind. Sorry for troubling you yet again.
"Subaru-sama, I'm glad I was able to catch you in time before you could be injured," said Clind with his usual professionalism. The weight of carrying another person several hundred meters seemingly doing nothing to hinder his elegant movements.
Subaru was immediately reminded of just how vast the chasm between him and Clind was in terms of butlering ability. Flawless and unshakeable, Subaru had never once caught him performing anything less than exemplary work. Clind hadn't even questioned Subaru's transformation into a woman. An act Subaru had deeply appreciated after having to repeatedly explain his predicament three separate times.
"I know *cough* I asked you this before *cough* but are sure you don't have the Divine Protection of Butlering, Clind," Subaru asked, his throat drier than he'd expected. "How long was I out?"
"Only a few seconds, Subaru-sama. It warms my heart that you appreciate my clumsy efforts, but I'm certain no such Divine Protection exists," the butler humbly expressed.
"If your efforts can be considered clumsy then the rest of us have the motor skills of toddlers," Subaru adamantly countered.
"Your ability to see the best in others never ceases to amaze me, Subaru-sama. However, I must turn down your compliments this time. In my negligence, I allowed you to push yourself too far. If it weren't for the fact that I happened to notice you faltering while trimming the hedges you could've been hurt much worse," Clind admitted.
Subaru didn't ask how Clind managed to make it all the way from the yard to halfway down the obstacle course before he'd hit the ground. "None of it was your fault," Subaru assured. "I was just feeling a little lightheaded, but I'm fine now. I can even walk just fine." Subaru said as Clind lowered Subaru onto his own two feet. He stumbled slightly as his sore muscles protested from the increased pressure.
"You work very hard, Subaru-sama," the blue haired butler stated as the exhausted girl leaned on a tree for support. "I can't say I know many knights who are so driven that they push themselves to the very brink of collapse."
"I guess it's because I've realized that I have a lot to lose," Subaru responded as dreadful memories played out behind his eyes. "I'm behind as it is and I would never forgive myself if my weakness hindered my friends."
"Perhaps, but even so I must insist you end your training early today," Clind told him firmly. "Even if you were to continue, it would be doing more harm than good at this point."
"As much as I want to deny it, you're right as always, Clind," Subaru agreed, inwardly disappointed at his weakened constitution. He had noticed his relatively poor performance since his transformation, but had naively hoped it had more to do with him getting accustomed to a new body. Today had been a sort of proving ground to try to put in his best effort, but he had come up short anyway. Dammit, I used to be able to run the course six or seven times, but now I collapse on the fifth. I'm supposed to be getting stronger. I can't afford to disappoint Emilia even more than I already have.
As Subaru and Clind returned to the mansion the two went their separate ways. Clind returned to his work on the hedges, while Subaru made his way towards a hastily built room extending from the back of the mansion. Walking up to an external tap built into the outer wall, Subaru splashed cold water on his face and arms. Enjoying the chill of the water soothing his worn muscles, he ducked inside the makeshift weight room. It had been constructed with the help of Garfiel and Clind along with Subaru's instructions. Reaching for a towel from a rack, he began to dry his arms when he was called out to by two familiar voices.
"Already done, fer the day Cap'n," Garfield asked nonchalantly. At almost fifteen years old the boy was benching Olympic class weights without breaking a sweat.
"Working hard as ever, huh, Natsuki-san," their resident Minister of Internal Affairs inquired.
"Otto! What's a shut-in like you doing out here," Subaru questioned, surprised to see the bookworm outside for once.
"Who's fault do you think that is? I used to be a traveling merchant, you hear!" Snapped Otto. "And besides, is it really that surprising I'd want to see how my friends were doing," he trailed off.
Subaru contemplated the answer before a mischievous idea began to form in his head. Slowly, Subaru approached the boy until they were almost touching. "Mmmm, you sure that's all you came for," Subaru asked with an innocent look despite his tone being anything but.
"Um er...yes I wanted to see you train…yup that's all," Otto stuttered, finding his verbal faculties failing him at their sudden close proximity.
Otto, you make this too easy. "Oh, so you wanted to see me train huh. A girl wearing little more than a bra getting hot and sweaty all day," the female knight inflected with a sultry tone. Interestingly enough, next to Emilia, Otto had been the one most affected by his unwanted transformation. The furtive glances, Otto's awkwardness, and his stammered responses. It's obvious what's happening. Otto has no idea how to interact with a girl, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't step into help.
"Of course not! I would never," Otto shouted as he slowly began back-pedaling. Unfortunately for him, Subaru matched his pace closely.
"You'd never what...," Subaru pressed as he leaned forward, giving Otto an unimpeded view of the girl's assets. His cheeks darkened from embarrassment.
For his part, Otto was desperately trying and failing to look away. He tried to focus his eyes on anything except the girl in front of him, but his eyes drew back to her form like a moth to light. "I- I only wanted to w- watch from afar."
"That's too bad. I was gonna work on training with my whip later. I was hoping you would…join me," Subaru invited suggestively. Struggling to contain the mirth in his eyes.
"I d- don't know how to fight," Otto stammered.
Smirking, Subaru leaned over Otto's shoulder. Subaru whispered, "Who said anything about fighting?"
Yelping Otto jerked back at the implication. Tripping over himself he landed on his bottom. He hardly registered the pain as a hundred unbidden images raced through his mind. He was only pulled from his catatonic state when he heard a baffling sound. Casting his bewildered gaze upwards he focused on the source of the noise.
Subaru had one hand over his mouth while the other hand was over his stomach as his body was wracked with uncontrollable shaking. Despite his best efforts, Subaru was unable to prevent the giggles escaping from his mouth.
"Wha- wait were you teasing me again," Otto sputtered, his face turning an even darker shade of red.
Powerless to hold it back any longer, Subaru's giggles became uncontrollable laughter. "Sorry Otto, it was just too easy," Subaru barely managed through his chuckles. He lent a hand to the fallen merchant.
Groaning in frustration Otto knocked the hand aside before standing up on his own. "Ugh! Why did I even think about coming here," Otto asked himself. "You know, one of these days I'm gonna quit," he threatened furiously. Hardly getting a response from the near hysterical girl, he sighed and left back into the Manor proper.
Setting aside his oversized dumbbells, Garfiel said, "Dang Cap'n, maybe ease it back a lil. Don't think my glorious self has ever seen Otto-bro that flustered." He worriedly watched Otto's retreating form.
"It's alright, Garf. It's just a little exposure therapy," Subaru informed after he regained control of himself. "Otto's gotta learn how to handle himself around the fairer sex. This'll be a learning experience for him when he's chasing a girl of his own."
"If you say so Cap'n, but honestly I don't gotta clue what kinda lessons yer tryna teach," the demi-human admitted. "Ye almost reminded me of that guts lady or whatever. Man she was a creepy one."
I remind Garf of Elsa? There's no way I'm turning into that kind of character am I? Subaru gave a sidelong glance at the whip attached to his waist. Ugh that's way too close for comfort.
Feeling slightly guilty, Subaru sighed to himself. "You're probably right, Garf. I'll hold off on the teasing for a bit."
Bidding Garfiel farewell, Subaru navigated the mansion to the main bathing room. After a quick bath, Subaru selected a set of clothes that Frederica had provided him the other day. They had been purpose fitted and tailored to fit the knight's new body. He'd been fine sticking to his old clothes, but both Ram and Frederica had been adamant that Subaru "maintain her dignity as a woman." Whatever that means. Luckily, most of the clothes he'd received were simple and lacked unnecessary frills. The type he imagined someone like Crusch would use for casual wear. Putting on a teal blouse over light colored pants he set off once more from the room.
Ambling through the hallway, Subaru arrived at his desired destination. The many Roswaal Mathers over the generations, had amassed an impressive collection of tomes for his personal library. It was no Forbidden Archives, but the assortment of books was the second largest Subaru had seen since arriving in Lugnica. Filled to the brim with stories, historical documents, manuals, and most importantly, treatises on magical theory, this room had been a frequent haunt for the spirit contractor and his spirit since his transformation.
Sauntering past a few bookshelves, his eyes landed on his favorite drill-haired loli. Engaged in an ancient tome half her body size, she gave no indication of hearing Subaru come in. Hugging a bookshelf, the girl stealthily creeped up behind the Great Spirit before grabbing her under her shoulders.
Beatrice screamed and flailed her arms about nearly dropping the tome if Subaru hadn't caught it in time. Turning the spirit around, Subaru hugged her close to his chest much in the same way a parent carries a child.
Finally noticing her contractor, Beatrice managed to control her fear, but a different emotion quickly took its place. "Unhand Betty this instant," she demanded as she began to repeatedly whack at Subaru's head with her arms. Unfortunately, for Beatrice her attacks barely held the force to be anything more than light taps.
"It's alright my lovely Beako, it's just me," Subaru said in a soothing voice, lightly rubbing Beatrice's in a calming manner.
"Hmph! After what you pulled, Betty wishes it was anyone, but her insufferable contractor, in fact," the Great Spirit pouted as she crossed her hands.
"Aw c'mon, Beako. You're too adorable for me not to want to pick you up and hug you," Subaru pleaded.
"If Betty's Subaru thinks that mere words will earn my forgiveness then he is a fool," Beatrice stubbornly replied, however, her voice wavered the tiniest bit.
"Then how about this," Subaru suggested as he gave her light affectionate headpats.
"Th- this is ridiculous, I suppose," Beatrice answered. Despite her protests, Beatrice rested her head into the space between Subaru's neck and shoulder as a look of contentment took hold on her face.
"Yes, yes. There, there," Subaru cooed, continuing his ministrations. Taking a seat on a comfy armchair, Subaru set aside the heavy tome freeing up her left hand.
"Wait...Betty wasn't finished with that," Beatrice lamented, but was unwilling to move from her comfy spot to take it back. Far too focused on twirling strands of her contractor's long hair to put up a fight.
"None of that. Right now it's Bettybaru cuddle hour and no dusty old tome is gonna get in the way of that," Subaru declared. "Besides, if I left you with the books in here any longer you'll get carried away and start calling this place the `Forbidden Archives`."
"Betty would never, in fact," the spirit's voice barely above a whisper.
Noticing her relaxed state, Subaru held his tongue and just let the two of them enjoy the moment. Beatrice curled up, seeking affection and care from her closest person. Subaru held her close, immeasurably joyful at having earned such a privileged place by his spirit's side. The two spent the next few minutes in a comfortable silence, relishing each other's presence. Taking solace from the sacred bonds of their contract.
It was only when a pressing question took root in Subaru's mind that the silence broke. "You know there's been something I've been meaning to ask you, Beako," Subaru began, unsure of how to word his question.
Glancing upwards at her contractor Beatrice pressed, "Well get on with it then, I suppose."
"Well it's just that recently...you've been playing with my hair, you've asked for hugs more often, and you want to be picked up and carried everywhere we go," Subaru said hesitantly. "And it really ramped up...this past week." Feeling the spirit tense he quickly backtracked, "Not that I'm unhappy, of course. I love every moment we spend together. I just wanted to know, why?"
Beatrice did not respond, but instead tightly gripped Subaru's blouse and hair as if she was afraid he would push her away.
Noticing Beatrice's distress, Subaru wrapped both arms around her and pushed her into an even deeper embrace. "I won't be angry if this is true, but is it because this body reminds you of your mother?"
Beatrice didn't answer for a long time, although the silence was an answer in itself. "Betty's Subaru has always reminded Betty of Mother, in fact," Beatrice finally admitted. She explained, "Your determination, your gentleness, the way people are naturally drawn to you. The way Betty's Subaru can pull others from the depths of sorrow as if it was nothing. All of those things and more are what Betty's Subaru shares with Mother."
Subaru stared pensively at his spirit. It unsettled him to be compared to the Witch of Greed of all people. Their interactions had left him with a decidedly negative view of Echidna. And that's without including the cruel trick she had played upon the one who called her mother. To condemn a being to a life of solitude and isolation for 400 years all while they hoped that one day even a fraction of the love given would be returned. Subaru had promised long ago to make up for the 400 years of love Echidna had denied Beatrice.
"I think I understand, Beako, but I can never be her," Subaru responded carefully.
"I'm sorry," Beatrice tearfully sobbed. "The hair, even the way you carry Betty...it's so familiar. Betty knows she shouldn't be thinking of someone else when this is a private time with her contractor, but...Betty is greedy, I suppose."
"Hush, I could never blame you for reminiscing. I didn't ask you to stop loving Echidna when we formed our contract, and I will never ask that of you," Subaru scolded, gently wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm not Echidna, but if it helps to ease my sweet Beako's suffering then I'll carry you till the end of time if I have to."
Smirking, Subaru added, "Perhaps I should dye my hair white and wear black dresses. Tell me Beako, are you feeling up for a tea party?"
Beatrice snorted despite herself. "That would be going too far, in fact," Beatrice replied, before giggling. The soft laughter of spirit and contractor carried through the library caressing the ears of a certain silver-haired half-elf who remained out of sight. Unwilling to intrude upon the beautiful moment, she wordlessly walked back down the corridor.
Subaru eased his stiff painful muscles onto his bed as he prepared to sleep for the night. Sore muscles were not an uncommon problem for Subaru, but his recent over exertions had made them particularly aggravating. For this reason he was forced to stay in the waking world for longer than he would've liked, allowing his mind to drift to the discussion he had with Beatrice before he'd parted ways with her at the library.
Flashback:
Beatrice stood before a seated and attentive Subaru as she discussed her findings from Roswaal's library. With a frown she admitted, "Truthfully, Betty has already exhausted the most useful books, but there's nothing that Betty learned that she didn't already know."
Subaru hid his disappointment well and nodded along. It was after all, exactly as Beatrice had predicted. A library, even one supplied by the Great Roswaal L Mathers, would be overshadowed by the wealth of knowledge Beatrice had at her fingertips back in the Forbidden Archives.
"Betty still has a few less-likely sources to go through, but Betty's Subaru shouldn't keep his hopes up," the Great Spirit explained.
"So that only leaves with two options then," Subaru concluded. That was a lie. In truth they had three options. Surprisingly, the third had come from Roswaal. Unsurprisingly, it was so disgusting that Subaru would never seriously consider it. Nevermind the fact that it would take years and Subaru wouldn't even be getting back his own body.
"Betty's Subaru is correct...but Betty hesitates to call them options," Beatrice stammered. "The first option is incredibly dangerous, I suppose."
Subaru grimaced as he acknowledged the spirit's warnings. Option one was a bit of a brute force method. Beatrice had proposed to use modified versions of healing spells to rebuild his male body. However, to use spells that were meant to mend broken bones and repair torn tissue in such a manner posed incalculable risks on Subaru's body. Furthermore, he wouldn't really be back in a male body. Rather he'd be in a female body that was masquerading itself as a male body. Subaru may have desired to return to a male body as soon as possible for Emilia's sake, but he was unwilling to go through with it if it meant that he could be bedridden or suffer from chronic pains for the rest of his life. The risks effectively ruled out this solution.
"And the second option...what it implies terrifies Betty, in fact," she continued. Her eyes gained a nostalgic look.
Subaru looked to her in concern. From what he understood of the second option, Beatrice effectively planned to reverse engineer whatever magic that had transformed him into a girl in the first place. He already knew that it would be a difficult process, but what were the implications?
When Subaru asked her, Beatrice had responded, "The more Betty delves into developing a spell to transform one's body and the more she discerns its complexity...it becomes clear that only a certain being could perform such precise spell work. It's the magic of a Witch."
Oh. So that was why. It's not as if Subaru hadn't entertained the thought before. But whatever their reason was escaped him. He could only think of two witches that had ever had any real interest in him. The Witch of Greed, Echidna and the Witch of Envy, Satella. With the former being (mostly) dead, he doubted Echidna would be able to do this to him, especially so far from the Witch's Tomb. Unlike the sociopathic tea connoisseur, however, Satella's influence was far more tangible. But even if she was the one who changed my body, then why did she? Is this new body more to her tastes? He was brought out of his pondering as a more pressing question came to him.
"Does this mean that the spell to change me back is beyond even you then, Beako?" Subaru asked in resignation.
"Hmph, if it were any other spirit Betty's Subaru would be correct, but he should have more faith in his Betty, I suppose," Beatrice declared. "When Mother created Betty she used her Od and essence to bring life to Betty. Therefore, no magic, not even that of a Witch is out of Betty's reach."
"Wow Beako, you always manage to surprise me with how amazing you truly are," praised Subaru.
"Of course, it's only natural that you acknowledge Betty's greatness, in fact," Beatrice gloated. "If Betty's Subaru understands how fortunate he is to have Betty then perhaps some headpats are in order."
Subaru for his part was all too happy to oblige, but not before showing Beatrice affection in his favorite way by picking her up.
"What's this, I suppose?" Betty asked suspiciously. "Why is Betty's Subaru making that face- AAAH STOP SPINNING! Not the spinning!"
Flashback: End
Subaru grinned happily at the memory. With that final thought, sleep blissfully came to him.
AN: Hello again guys. Sorry this chapter didn't really have much in the way of progressing the story forward, but that's more what I have planned for the next chapter. There was a lot more I wanted to include in this chapter, but I decided to keep it simple so that it wouldn't totally become an expo dump. Also I forgot to mention it last time, but I plan to include smut and other such things in this story eventually. And on the note of Emilia acting OOC. I totally understand why it came across that way and I really should've written it better. I choose Emilia of all people to have such a negative reaction for a very specific and somewhat meta reason.
One last thing. I wanted to know if you guys find it annoying that I use he/him pronouns for Subaru's internal perspective and she/her from an objective external perspective. If it's annoying I can just stick to one from now on.
