It Becomes Personal

I did not sleep at all that night. There were no nightmares keeping me up, just endlessly thinking about what I could do about this new enemy that had sprouted out of nowhere and caused such havoc. I looked over at Tali, who had managed to get to sleep just fine. She lay facing me and tonight she had opted to sleep without her helmet on, so I was able to gaze upon her wondrous beauty which brought me a bit of comfort. Perhaps this was her getting some exposure to me for the benefit of our baby. I stroked a lock of hair away from her cheek and gently brushed her silky skin with the back of my fingers. She giggled in her sleep as I stroked her cheek and I had to stifle a laugh of my own in case I woke her.

The cybernetics beneath my skin were burning quite brightly now and I knew that I had to try and calm down and get some sleep before facing the press the next day. I gazed at my inside forearm where I traced the lines where the light was shining through. I also did not want them to see me with bright, demonic red eyes glaring back at them. I tossed and turned and eventually had to resort to using the breathing technique that I had learned as a sniper that kept my muscles relaxed and slowed my heart rate. It did work in the end, but I had no idea about what kind of audience I was going to be standing in front of the next day and that kept nagging at my mind all night.

When dawn came, I was up instantly and decided to go for a run up and down the staircase cut into the cliffs outside the house to get my body and mind active. If my heart was pumping and I was sharp and perceptive, I could weasel out the reporters with an agenda of their own instead of actually just wanting some plain answers. Nothing changed my mind about how wrong all this was. Tali was newly pregnant with our child that we hoped to raise in peace, in a galaxy that had learned to cooperate and tolerate everyone and accept their differences. When I got home, Tali was waiting for me with breakfast and a hot mug of coffee,

"Wanted to make sure you were ready to face the press," she greeted me. My expression turned to delight and I sat down to eat my eggs on toast.

"I'd feel more comfortable with my kinetic barriers and my Harrier facing those people!" I grimaced and Tali laughed. "Fighting Reaper Husks was easier than dealing with them."

"I believe you," Tali agreed. After the War with the Reapers had ended, both Tali and I had spent time in front of cameras giving small interviews, but most of the focus had naturally been on me and so I had unfortunately become quite used to being poked and prodded for answers.

Just then I received a call and flicked on the big vid-screen in the living room to answer it. Again, I was hoping to see Liara on the other end with some information about the terrorists, but instead I saw grizzled old face of Admiral Hackett.

"Sir," I instinctively stood out of my chair and was about to salute when I remembered that I was no longer military. Hackett thought as much and a short smile appeared on his face,

"Old habits die hard, huh Scott?"

I laughed at myself and nodded,

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Admiral?"

"I wanted to check in with you before you go to face the news teams. I want you to know that you have the full support of the Alliance. As it was Han'Gerrel who contacted me, I suspect that the Quarians are behind you as well. What are you going to say?"

"I'm going to tell the truth, Sir," I told him, "there is no way that I am going to show any kind of sympathy towards the terrorists. Even if their reasons might have an element of truth to them, their actions make them evil and beyond redemption in my books."

Admiral Hackett thought my words over, weighing up the pros and cons. It reminded me of the days when I was giving him reports from the Normandy's comm room.

"I believe you when you say you'll do what's right, Scott," he said, "but if I may, can I give you some advice?"

"Of course, Sir."

"If asked about the beacon at the Temple of Athame, be… careful how you answer. Unfortunately, what this terrorist leader said is quite true as in how the beacon was hidden from everyone when it shouldn't have. I don't support what they've done, but I can't help but feel that we could have done with having knowledge about the Crucible and the Catalyst a long time before the Reapers ever arrived."

"I'll watch what I say, thank you."

"Scott… it's just Steven to you," Hackett smiled, "and if anything, I should be saluting you whether you still wear the uniform or not. Watch yourself out there today. And it's good to see you too, Tali'Zorah."

"Will do, Steven," it felt strange to call him by his name, "thanks."

I had enjoyed the breakfast that Tali had cooked for me, but as our car soared over the sands of Rannoch between our home and Baska, I felt like it might all come back up again. I did not want to know what I was in for, but this was one of the only ways that I could fight this terror threat right now. Once we had more Intel to act on, however, I wanted to make those responsible for the murder of so many innocent victims pay dearly. Tali knew that I was nervous, and as I flew the car she decided to try and get me to relax by joking around a bit.

I admitted that it was stupid for me to get worried about answering a few questions for a few pushy journalists when I had done some far crazier things in my life: Faced a Reaper Destroyer one versus one on Rannoch to stop it controlling the Geth and bring peace to the planet. I had fought a Thresher Maw alongside Grunt on foot. Deliberately tried to get an Asari sex-murderer in the form of Morinth to get back to her apartment alone for Samara to ambush her. Countless deeds that I had done which could have killed me at any second, and now I was sweating in case I said a sentence wrong in front of people who specialised at picking every word apart.

Not only the spoken word, either. These people loved to watch for non-verbal communication that could indicate how I was truly feeling about a certain subject, or if I was trying to hide anything. I shivered as I had vivid memories of being interrogated by the Alliance after I handed myself in once the Collectors had been dealt with. Tali took one look at me, saw my furrowed brow and placed a comforting hand on my leg,

"You'll be fine, Scott. What is it Humans say makes it easier? Imagine the audience naked?"

I burst out laughing, and like a breath of fresh air rushing over me the worries were swept away. I loved that about Tali, how she could bring light to even the darkest places just by being the incredible and inspiring woman that she was. With her supporting me, I had taken down Saren, Sovereign, Collectors, the old Shadow Broker, Cerberus and the entire Reaper race. Now, with her help, I could face a meagre panel of journalists.

As we flew through Baska, I took in the views as the streets below and around us began to fill with people going about their daily business. There were Quarian Men and Women walking around with their child, Quarians and Geth meeting each other either as friends or work colleagues. There were buildings of old Quarian architectural design from before the Geth uprising over three-hundred years ago. These were mixed with the very obvious modern components that came from the deconstruction of much of the Migrant Fleet's ships. It was a very patch-work city at that time. Though at the rate that work was progressing on Rannoch, with the Quarians and Geth coming to the aid of each other in all matters, it would not be overly long before the city recaptured most of what glory it must have had before the Quarians were forced into exile.

Looking at the crowds, I was always struck by how few other alien races there were. Quarians and Geth were there in abundance, but it was very, very rare that I would see another Human or a Turian. The Quarians had been very eager to welcome me to their home world, given the role that I had played in bringing the Quarians back to their former world. However, they had not turned away other members of the other races. I supposed that it was simply a case of each species wanting to repair and repopulate their own worlds that had been nearly destroyed by the Reapers. The few aliens that I did see on Rannoch were not there to live, they were there for a holiday where their curiosity drew them to this newly reclaimed world that had been out of reach for centuries. All in all, however, there was a terrific feeling of rejuvenation in the city. I had briefly been to a couple of the other cities that the Quarians were investing their time and resources into, I had felt the same sensation in those places too.

My appointment with the press was being held in a large room inside the House of the Conclave, which was Rannoch's government headquarters. I did not like how this was being built up by other parties. But at the insistence of the Admiralty Board, they treated it as a matter of great importance. The room had a stage at the far end which had already been set up for me and several rows of chairs waited to be filled. Admiral Raan met with me to give me her support but saw my hesitation upon entering the room.

"I'm not sure this will be worth all the fuss, Shala," I told her. "I'll be up there for about five minutes to tell everyone that I don't agree with the terrorists and that their actions are wrong. That's it."

"It might seem that way to you, Scott," the veteran Admiral replied kindly, "but journalists from all over the galaxy will be turning up to hear your words. These are the most violent attacks that we have seen since the end of the Reaper War and many want answers. The ordinary citizen is not so clued in as to what goes on in our galaxy. I doubt any have them have your network of… contacts."

She gave me a sideways glance when she said this and I knew that the Quarian Admirals suspected that the Shadow Broker was someone that I knew personally. Thankfully, I had no doubt that they were still in the dark as to who it really was.

"Make it as short as you like," Shala continued, "but make no mistake that everyone will be hanging on to every word you say."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I half-joked.

For the occasion, I had dressed in my full Military Dress Blues, with the permission of Admiral Hackett, and had all my medals pinned on the front, including both of my Stars of Terra. It was all mind games. The press needed to see someone that stood out and that they would pay attention to so that my words would sink in that much easier. I had first become famous within the Human Systems Alliance in 2179, following my actions during the Skyllian Blitz where I held up the pirate attack on Elysium. Following that, my fame grew to galactic levels during my escapades on both Normandy vessels.

The press would be expecting to see a person who matched that standard, and so I was going to give it to them. As the hopeful journalists began to file into the room, I was already standing at the podium on the stage. Outwardly, I might have appeared as the strong, invincible military hero that many of them knew me as. Inwardly, however, I was dreading what was coming. I knew that, somehow, it would degenerate into some kind of terrible Q & A session where my answer for most of the questions would be "I'm sorry, that's classified".

After several minutes of hustle and bustle, the journalists were eventually seated and I could get a good look at each of them as they now faced me. Members of every species were present, from Asari and Turians to Volus and Elcor, Humans and Batarians to Quarians and even a Vorcha. Most had travelled a great distance in as short a time as they possibly could, and whether or not they had managed to sleep on their trips, they all shared the same tired look despite their best attempts to mask it.

They all had their data pads out ready to take all the notes that they could or had the list of questions that they wanted to ask, which made me wince a little. When all went quiet, I was given a nod from a member of the Quarian Conclave who was overseeing the event and that was my signal to start. With the classic clearing of the throat, I steeled myself to talk in front of the crowd and made my initial point very clear.

"I'd like to make this short. I'm aware that many of you have travelled very far to be here and I appreciate that, but I don't want to make a spectacle out of this."

There were a few understanding nods in the audience as they sympathised. I clocked them as the ones who were just here to hear my take on events and did not have their own agenda that they wished to pursue.

"We are here today because of the terrible acts of terror that occurred yesterday on Thessia. Councillor Tevos, Asari Law Enforcement Officers, and a score of innocent Asari were killed in a gun battle that ended with a bomb being set off. I… I don't think any of us were expecting such a thing to happen. But, saying that, this group of thugs has been stirring up trouble for a number of weeks now and, with their latest act of murder, they certainly have our attention. They claim that the Asari government must have known about the Reapers all along because of the beacon at the Temple of Athame in Armali, and have used me and the beacon I encountered on Eden Prime as their proof of this. They claim that, because I was in contact with the beacon for a matter of mere seconds and still found out about the Reapers, then the Asari government will have known about the Reapers from their thousands of years of study. Well, I am here to tell you today that this is wrong!"

I let those words sink in and the audience clung on, awaiting more. I was only happy to oblige.

"We have known for a long time now that the Protheans were studying our ancestors back in their cycle." Somewhere in my mind I imagined Javik watching me on his vid-screen and waiting to see what I was about to say.

"However, when the Reapers began their invasion of the Prothean Empire, all studies ceased immediately for two reasons: The Protheans had to devote all their resources and people to fighting the Reapers, and they also found out that the Reapers only targeted advanced species. They hoped that the Reapers would leave our species alone because we were still in a very primitive stage of development. As is very clear, this worked out for the better of all our kinds."

I spoke clearly, taking the time to properly annunciate so everyone could understand me. The Scottish accent could, on occasion, cause the uninitiated to not understand what was being said.

"So, this beacon on Thessia that the enemy are using as an excuse to carry out their terrorist acts. It was there long before the Reapers ever invaded during the Prothean age. The amount of data that must have been on that beacon is incomprehensible to us, and with the loss of the beacon during our war with the Reapers, we will never know the full extent of what was on there. I wish to draw your attention now to the planet of Mars in the Sol System, the same system where Earth and the Citadel reside. It was on Mars that human explorers, in 2148, found an ancient, abandoned base that had once belonged to the Protheans as they studied Human-kind. This was the beginning of Humanity's expansion into the galaxy and how we eventually came into contact with the wider galactic community that we are now a part of. Since their discovery in 2148, study of the Prothean archives on Mars has not ceased! The only interruption was when the Reapers attacked Mars during the war, where millions of Human colonists unfortunately lost their lives. That means that humanity has had forty-one years to study the treasure hoard on the beacon that was located there. Did they find out about the Reapers, or the Crucible?"

I looked out to the audience and remained silent while they thought over what I had said. When I was happy that most had concluded what I intended them to, I continued.

"Humanity has forty-one years of study on the Mars archives under its belt, and I know for a fact that they have only scratched the surface. Given how difficult it is to decipher the information on these beacons, I trust that the Asari would not have known any more about the Reapers than humanity did before the invasion. We know now that there was indeed data on the beacons, as the Mars archives gave us the Crucible plans and the beacon on Thessia allowed us to discover the nature of the Catalyst."

I paused for a breath, giving the audience time to digest my words.

"I believe that, unless they were looking for that piece of information specifically, the Asari and Human researchers would never have found such plans, or any information on the Reapers until necessity pushed them to find something more of that nature. These beacons contained information on everything that the Protheans knew. To filter all that down to specific information about an enemy the galaxy did not even know existed… there was no need to before that, so they would not have done so."

Again, I took a pause and surveyed the faces that gazed back at me, their full undivided attention focused on everything that came out of my mouth. I was pretty certain that I was making my point and that they were believing what I said, which was encouraging.

"Now," I said, "as for the beacon on Eden Prime. Unlike the beacons on Mars and Thessia, this beacon was built as part of a network that spread right across the galaxy for the sole purpose of issuing the warning about the Reapers to any who might find them. The images that were burned into my brain that day have never left me, and were the only thing that I took from that encounter because that was their explicit purpose. There was no other information on that beacon, or the ones that were also a part of that same network, because it was a last ditched attempt by the Protheans to leave behind a warning before they were all wiped out. That is why I knew about the Reapers. That is why the Asari government should have to shoulder no more blame than anyone else about the Reapers catching us all by surprise."

By now, the voice I was using was the one I used when was in active military service. I spoke with the authority of Commander Scott Gardner to grab and maintain their undivided attention.

"The terrorists claim that the Asari government deliberately withheld the information about the Reapers so they could focus on keeping the Asari more powerful than the other species. But if the Reapers came here to destroy all advanced organic life, then what would the Asari, if any had survived the genocide, achieve with that power? What could they gain from keeping control of a dead galaxy? The assertion makes no sense and proves the folly and frailty of our enemy's cause."

With Daro'Xen's point conveyed to the audience, my speech came to an end. I hoped that I had delivered my message loud and clear with no room for interpretation. As the audience began to realise that I was done, a flurry of hands shot into the air as they desperately tried to gain my attention.

"I will answer a few of your questions, but I hope you realise that there is much that is still classified."

I chose an Asari who wore a rather charming white dress with gold embroidery. I thought her a tad over-dressed, but could not deny that she drew my eye.

"What is being done to prevent further attacks like this happening in the short-term future?"

Damn. I had worried that this would happen. They were all under the assumption that I was still privy to top level information like a Spectre would have been, rather than just a man trying to get on with a simple life as a civilian. Still, they were looking for reassurance and I wanted to give them that at least.

"I know for certain that every law enforcement agency will be keeping a closer watch on all possible targets, intelligence services will be on the hunt for those responsible." In the back of my mind, I thought of Liara as the Shadow Broker, and then my two Spectre friends in the form of Ashley and Garrus. I wavered whether or not to mention something along those lines. Instead, I chose more vague description of what my friends would be doing.

"I know for a fact that there will be many parties, other than law enforcement agencies, interested in shutting these cowardly terrorists down for good. That much is certain."

As I said this, I made a point to look into the lens of the camera as I knew that the terrorists would be watching as well.

"They have made themselves an enemy of our united galaxy, and for their atrocious acts they must face justice. Cerberus thought they could outrun the law and do whatever they wanted. They met their end, just as these terrorists will. But I must make a point: Through their actions they will try to divide our galaxy, make some of us see their way of things while others rightly oppose them. We know from the Reaper War what we are capable of when we show a united front, and we must continue with that for the rest of our days. These psychotic radicals have shown that they are willing to kill innocent people for no reason other than their "supposed" evidence of the Asari government showing negligence towards us all. Right before the Battle for Earth commenced in 2186, I heard these words from Admiral Steven Hackett, which I will repeat for you now: Stand fast. Stand strong. Stand together."

The press continued to throw questions at me for a short while longer until I finally had to hold up my hand and tell them that time was up and that I wanted to get back to my life, which I noticed few of them could not argue with. I left the stage and met Tali, who had been standing behind me just out of sight, during my speech.

"You're a good speaker, Scott. Maybe a career in politics…"

"Stop right there," I laughed as she teased me. "That's the last thing on my mind…"

"The Human Ambassador to Rannoch, Scott Gardner," Tali continued, finding my disgusted expression hilarious. It was a relief to laugh after being on the stage which, I now realised, had made me feel tense and anxious. Together, Tali and I walked past a wall of people taking holos of us with their cameras. With a few customary waves and smiles, we increased our pace and got out of there as quickly as possible.

Tali and I got to our skycar and, after the Quarian Conclave representative bid us farewell, I started up the engine with the intention of flying us back home. However, I made it about ten metres when I stopped again and Tali looked at me,

"Everything ok?"

I looked at her, my beautiful wife with those lilac pearls that were her eyes gleaming out at me from behind the mask. Without thinking, I had placed a hand on her stomach where our child would be growing. Tali placed her hands on mine and I could tell that the smile on her face went from ear to ear.

"Don't think I've forgotten that you moved your check-up appointment with the Doctor to tomorrow because of this," I told her. "But since we both know what the results will be, how do you fancy a nice lunch somewhere to relax?"

"That would be amazing!" Tali's voice sounded like a bird singing as she excitedly looked up somewhere that served dextro and levo food that was not on the beaten path, somewhere where we would have a bit more privacy just to enjoy ourselves.

We found a quiet little place up a side street which was quiet and had a nice, relaxing ambiance about it. Of course, the galaxy was still a while away from luxury restaurants popping up all over the place, but as the standard went, we found ourselves a good one. Tali and I were enjoying our meal when I noticed Tali went a bit quieter and she eventually said,

"Do you think… do you think there'll be any repercussions for what you said? Do you think the terrorists will try to target you?"

In truth, I had been wondering that very thing from the second I opened my mouth back on the stage. However, I was not going to keep it to myself and was always truthful with Tali.

"It's definitely a possibility," I said. "But if they target me then they target you as well, and our child. Our future together. There's no way I'm gonna let anyone mess with that. I promise."

"Maybe we should keep "the cupboard" unlocked for the time being," Tali said with a slight laugh.

Tali was trying to joke, but it was also a statement. Tali and I had a small room hidden at the back of the bedroom, behind a false panel, where we kept our weapons and armour that we had wielded against the Reapers four years previous. My Harrier assault rifle, Black Widow sniper rifle and Paladin handgun were locked away just opposite Tali's Wraith shotgun, Arc pistol and Locust submachinegun. It had been a mutual decision between both of us to keep our weapons around, like some sort of reassurance in case things went badly again. It was an extra bit of security that we had around us and made us feel more comfortable to have them close to hand. If anyone wanted to come after us, then they were going to have a real fight on their hands.

Thinking about Tali and I, with our secret stash of military hardware, reminded me of all the hellish battles that we had gone through side by side. I loved how, no matter what, both of us could always concentrate on fighting the enemies in front of us because we knew that the other would be watching our backs.

"Did I ever tell you how… weird it was to go into a fire fight without you there?" I said to Tali with a sudden expression of amusement. "I didn't recruit you until after Horizon while I was fighting the Collectors, and then again I had to go to Menae, Sur'Kesh and Tuchanka before I got to see you in the war."

"I never felt right without you either, Scott," she reflected. "I went on dozens of small operations with science teams for the Migrant Fleet after you were gone, and the few that ended up as skirmishes… I always remember wishing that you were there to lead the way out of trouble, or to victory. Driving us all forward to take the fight to the enemy and beat them in that way you do."

"Well someone had to get your arses moving," I quipped.

"I was just hanging back to watch your ass move," Tali replied in a sultry tone.

"Glad you enjoyed yourself," I smirked. "Let's go home. What do you say we go down to our wee beach?"

"It's a deal," Tali said happily before adding, "and then a movie night!"

Together, Tali and I headed home and we enjoyed the rest of the day together. I largely succeeded in pushing the press conference to the back of my mind and focused on the quality time that I was spending with Tali. Yet it was still there, hanging around like a shadow that would dart out of sight whenever I tried to look at it. There was just this tiny, almost imperceptible feeling of discomfort and I could not fully settle. When evening came and we put on a good comedy film, I was able to forget it for a while and the relief I felt was huge. However, as soon as the movie finished, I started pondering the possible outcomes from what I had told the reporters. It was like I was waiting for something to happen at any second and I was keeping myself primed for action when trouble came to find me.

On top of that, Tali would be heading to the doctors the next day for her check-up to see how the pregnancy was going. Quarian women worked differently to Human women. With Human women, the sperm might not fertilise the egg for up to five days after sex. It was a much faster procedure with Quarian women. At maximum, fertilisation could take up to six hours. The check-up was simply to confirm that fertilisation and implantation had taken place without any complications. This was such a big moment that lay ahead for both of us.

So many times, during our adventures on the Normandy, Tali and I had dreamed of the moment when we would find out that we were going to become parents and now it was mere hours away. I was looking forward to it. Both Tali and I were determined that our child was going to be the happiest kid in the galaxy and would not want for anything, though we would still raise them to know that they had to earn what they wanted, instead of just receiving it unconditionally. There would be no spoiled brats in our home.

So many thoughts on these topics crashed around my brain that I struggled to take a hold of them and keep them contained. I managed to sleep a little but, as was normal, I woke up early to the sound of Rannoch's seabirds calling at the break of dawn and the gentle breathing of Tali next to me. While she continued to sleep in peace, I tenderly stroked her arm and closed my eyes, listening to her faint breaths. There was something about it that relaxed me and could make me feel like I was exactly where I belonged. Lying next to Tali in our bed was my bedrock of happiness and despite my worries, I could feel more at ease there. The visit to the hospital for our appointment went as expected. The doctor confirmed that Tali was indeed pregnant with our child, and gave us further advice on how to slowly increase the baby's exposure to me so that he or she would be born with an immune system already adapted to my Human bacteria.

We had already celebrated together the first time around, but decided that there was absolutely no reason that we could not do it again after receiving confirmation from the doctor which made it even more official. We were a young, married couple in the heyday of our lives, with so much to look forward to and so much still to experience. On top of the vast number of things we had already seen and done during the Normandy days, of course. We often discussed the kinds of stories that we would have for our child. It was the best thing in the world for a child to have a great and vivid imagination. Tali and I knew we had a nearly inexhaustible amount of tales to encourage our child's imagination to go wild and dream up their own stories.