Jade has been feeling nervous for her performance for the Full Moon Jam since yesterday and she's determined to calm her nerves by any means necessary.
Tomorrow night is a big night for her and despite knowing that she's ready for this, she can't help but think of what her song means. What it could mean for her if everything goes how she wants it to tomorrow. That's where the main source of her nerves are coming from.
By the time lunch time rolls around Jade is so ready to practice that she decides to practice and then eat her food. Jade is doing a sound check and yelling at Sinjin, while Andre and Tori are sitting at a lunch table not too far away talking about Jade.
"C'mon," Tori begs before André swiftly shuts her down with multiple "no's."
"So you'll do it?" Tori asks with a large smile on her face.
André stares at her in confusion. "I am not going to ask Jade out on a date."
Tori and André have a small squabble about him asking Jade out on one little next week before he interrupts with a hard "no."
Tori hasn't given up yet. "C'mon. If you take Jade out on a date, it'll show other guys that she can be dated and then more guys will start asking her out and then Beck won't feel so bad about going out with Meredith."
André has another idea in mind. "How about I ask out Meredith and uh, Beck just buys himself a hamster or something?"
Tori is quick to counter his question with one of her own. "Don't you remember last year? You had a crush on Jade. You really liked her."
André looks at Tori, "and when I was three I really liked my dinosaur underpants. Things change."
Tori isn't ready to give up on her mission, "but Jade can be so much fun."
Jade chooses that exact moment to yell at a small group of guys. "Not now!" Which causes one of the guys to drop the plastic box he was carrying and they all run off in fear.
Tori turns to André from having watched Jade and says, "this is hopeless."
André nods his head and hums his agreement. Picking up his drink he replies, "the only way to get some guy to ask out Jade on a date," he takes a sip and finishes, "is if you pay him."
Tori looks at André in disbelief before repeating his words. "Pay him? Like money?"
"I'm talkin' 'bout money," André confirms before Jade starts to yell Sinjin's name. She threatens him to fix her monitor before she makes a necklace out of his ears.
"A lot of money," André adds after listening to that.
The next day André and Tori watch Robbie and Cat walk by with a banana in her left ear. They stand at the wall near Tori's locker to watch Gilbert ask out Jade.
Which doesn't go to plan and ends up in Gilbert telling Tori that he won't ask Jade out and that she can keep her money.
After Jade finds out that they paid a guy to ask her out, she gets angry. Very angry. Tori and André decide that the best thing they can do is run. Far and fast.
After Jade finds André and Tori hiding in the closet with Beck, Jade's anger toward them for paying a guy to ask her out settles but a new simmering happens because Beck wants to ask Meredith out. Ultimately though, Jade says she doesn't care if Beck asks her out and leaves the janitor's closet.
Hours later, Tori is talking to Beck by the table with food and punch. They're talking about how his time with Meredith is going when André's voice is heard over the speakers. "Okay people, let's heat things up for Jade West. Let's go!"
Everyone starts to clap and then the music starts and Jade is walking out onto the stage confidently.
As soon as Jade steps out onto the stage, she's more than confident to do this performance. This is what she lives for and all her nerves fall away. As she's singing her song she points in Tori and Beck's direction. While also singing some of the lines while looking in that direction. While she's taking control and killing it up on stage, Jade notes that Beck is moving closer as she sings.
When the song ends, Jade turns to her left while everyone is getting ready for the next person after her to see Beck on stage. He stands there silently for a few seconds before saying, "I've missed you."
He smiles a little bit at her and waits. Jade assumes that he's waiting for her to say that she missed him too.
Which she has. She's missed him a lot but at that very moment she can't find it in herself to tell him that. She can feel something in the air change between them. Telling him she missed him doesn't feel like the right thing to say to Beck right now and Jade is shocked by this alarming realization. It takes her a few beats to fully process. While she stands there silently, Jade watches Beck put his hand in his pocket and run his hand through his hair while he waits for her to say something.
This is what she wanted to happen when she sang her song but now that the moment is here she can't help but feel disappointed and sad about the outcome.
Jade feels eyes on the two of them and she decides they need to get off the stage. "Can we talk somewhere more private?" Jade asks before her brain has time to stop her request from leaving her mouth.
Beck's smile drops for a short moment but he doesn't let it get him down. Beck gives her a nod and they walk off the stage together to find a place to talk without so much noise.
Tori watches them walk off with a smile on her face but the longer that the two of them are gone, the more Tori finds that her heart is clenching uncomfortably in her chest.
They choose to talk inside the school since everyone else is outside. Jade doesn't know how to start the conversation but she knows she can't beat around the bush when it comes to what she needs to tell Beck.
"What did you want to talk about?" Beck asks while staring at her.
Jade's eyes widen and she freezes for a second. "Uh," she mumbles before regaining her courage. "I wanted to talk to you about us."
When Beck smiles charmingly at her, Jade feels her stomach drop. It sucks that she wasn't clear enough with him because now she's going to have to pop his bubble and she doesn't want to do that.
"I was hoping we could talk about us since I've been thinking a lot about you lately." Beck takes a step closer to her but there's still a little bit of distance between them. "I want you to be my girlfriend ag-"
"Beck," Jade interrupts. Her tone of voice makes Beck stop. His eyebrows furrow in confusion when he looks at her. "I'm sorry for interrupting but I don't want to get back together."
Beck frowns and Jade can see the sadness in his brown eyes. It's written plainly on his face and it breaks Jade's heart that she has to do this. "What do you mean you don't want to get back together? Isn't that what the song was about? I thought you'd want this too."
Jade looks down at her boots. "I thought that was what I wanted," she says softly. "I've wanted that since we broke up all those months ago but seeing you standing in front of me on that stage made me realize that I don't want that anymore."
Beck scratches his forehead and shuffles his face. Calmly he asks, "so you've changed your mind?"
Jade fiddles with her fingers nervously. "It's crazy that I'm saying this but yes. I've changed my mind." Jade looks up at Beck and what she was scared of seeing when looking at him is exactly what she sees.
Beck is trying to hide it but Jade can see the unshed tears in his eyes. Jade knows that he's biting his bottom lip in an attempt to stop them from falling. He doesn't want to cry in front of her. He doesn't want her to see how much it hurts him that he doesn't want him back the way he wants her.
Beck is kicking himself because there was always a possibility the one day he'd be too late to get Jade back but after that song he'd been so full of hope and determination.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I never thought I'd be the one to change my mind about our relationship but here we are."
"I just…" Beck starts but his voice cracks at the end and Jade sees the tears spilling from his eyes. "I need some time, okay?"
Jade nods but Beck isn't looking at her anymore. "Of course," she responds kindly. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here for you when you're ready."
Beck walks up to her and kisses her on the forehead. "I'm going to the bathroom but I'll see you back out there" he tells her before walking off.
Jade stands in the same spot looking at where Beck went before going to the bathroom herself. She's feeling a little bit emotional and if she's going to cry she'd rather do it in private so nobody sees.
Tori hasn't seen Jade and Beck since they left 20 minutes ago and as the time passes by, she feels more and more sick about the whole thing. Does she have a thing for Beck? She doubts it. She won't let herself go there because of Jade. She wonders briefly if maybe she feels this way because she likes Jade. The thought scares her but she can't give a definitive answer on that because she hadn't really considered the possibility of that.
When Beck and Jade have been gone for thirty minutes, Tori starts to give up hope of seeing Jade and congratulating her on her amazing performance. Though, that doesn't last very long because Tori hears Cat squeal in excitement from a few feet away.
The sound draws her attention to Cat immediately and that's when Tori spots the dark haired girl being hugged by Cat. Jade looks a little uncomfortable in Cat's embrace but for once Jade doesn't yell at Cat not to touch her. It brings a smile to Tori's face and she wanders over to them to talk to Jade.
"Hey," Tori greets when she gets within earshot of the two girls who have stopped hugging when she catches sight of them.
"Hiiiiii," Cat answers back excitedly.
Tori smiles at Cat and looks over at Jade. Upon doing so Tori noticed that Jade doesn't look as happy as she would have expected her to. "You were amazing up there Jade."
At the compliment Jade smiles a tiny bit. "Thanks," she replies softly. It makes her feel good when Tori compliments her.
Cat clears her throat and stares at Jade expectantly. Jade gives her a glare but Cat holds her ground. Tori watches the interaction between the two best friends with interest. Jade sighs quickly thereafter and Cat beams with victory at having won whatever mental debate they were having with each other.
"I'm gonna go and talk to Robbie and Beck," Cat tells them but doesn't actually move in the directions that the boys are in. Tori gives Cat a weird look but Cat isn't paying any attention to her. Cat's just watching Jade closely, waiting for her to do something, Tori assumes.
"Vega, walk with me," Jade tells her before walking off. Tori's eyebrows furrow in confusion before Cat gives her a gentle push on her shoulder for her to move and follow after Jade. Once Tori's feet have started to move and head in the same direction as Jade, Tori looks back and finally sees Cat heading off in the direction of Robbie and Beck.
Jade and Tori walk in silence to the destination Jade had in mind for a conversation like this. When Jade stops walking, Tori stops behind her. Jade faces her and Tori can see the nerves in her body language. Jade is playing with the ring on her finger and her head is down, looking at the ground beneath her feet.
Jade pretends to be interested in her boots when she starts the conversation. "So, I guess you're wondering why we're out here." It's not lost on her that she did the same thing with Beck less than half an hour ago.
Tori hums in agreement with Jade's question, "I can't say that I'm not curious. You seemed sad after your performance but I don't know why that is."
Jade looks up at Tori and seems to be studying her for a few beats. "Look, the thing is… I thought that tonight was going to happen exactly like it did in my head."
Tori gives her a sad smile, "and it didn't?" she asks softly. She kind of figured that something must have happened with Beck because she seemed sad after she spotted her with Cat. It wasn't in her facial expression but in her body language.
"No," Jade shakes her head. She thinks about it for a second and changes her mind. "Well, yes."
Tori is confused by that answer. She tilts her head to the side slightly. "What does that mean?"
Jade thinks Tori looks almost like a puppy. Jade shuffles her feet awkwardly. This is the beginning of opening herself up to Tori. She doesn't know if Tori likes her in the same way but if she doesn't say what needs to be said, she'll never know. "It went how I thought it would in my head but when I was up there on stage, I started to question whether what I thought I wanted was exactly what I wanted or not. When Beck came up onto the stage, I realized that what I'd been planning for the whole time wasn't what I wanted anymore."
"Well, wasn't the song about Beck? You wrote it for him, didn't you?" Tori questions curiously. It totally felt like the song was written about him. Not to mention that Jade was looking at Beck and pointing at him while singing it.
While up on stage, Jade had an epiphany and it made her realize something that's been staring her in the face for so long. She can't believe she didn't see it before this but now that she's finally seen it she can't go back to the way things were.
This is her only chance to express the way she feels for Tori and she needs to take the opportunity because if she doesn't she probably never will and that's not something she thinks she can live with.
It's now or never and Jade has already promised herself that regardless of whether or not Tori feels the same way as her, nothing will come in between the friendship that they've started to develop.
Jade runs her head through her hair and sighs loudly. "When I was writing the song, I thought I wrote it about him. I thought it was about Beck while I was singing it. Standing up there in front of Beck while he tried to get back together with me, I knew that it wasn't about him. It was about someone else."
Tori's eyes are wide in shock. She can't believe what she's hearing. She wants to pinch herself to make sure that this isn't a dream but she holds back. "Beck wanted to get back together and you turned him down?"
Jade kind of hates how whenever anything between her and Beck happens everyone has questions about it but Jade pushes the feeling away. She supposes that makes sense because everyone is friends with both of them and that makes them curious about their lives. "Yeah," Jade answers gently.
Tori plays with the bracelet on her wrist so she doesn't come off too interested in Jade's answer to her question. "Cause you like someone else and you just realized it tonight?"
"Yes," Jade answers again. She feels like she's already said this but she repeats it because she knows this is probably really big news so she tries her best to be as patient and kind as possible while Tori processes all of this.
Tori can't help the spike in her curiosity. She's kind of had a crush on Jade for a while and now that she knows Jade likes someone else, it has hope swelling in her chest. "Who is this other person?" Tori asks as nonchalantly as possible. She doesn't want Jade to know how excited she is about this news. It makes her think that maybe she has a Vance with Jade after all.
Jade bites her lip. "I didn't really plan on telling you like this, but I guess I have no other choice at this point. I'm not great at these things or anything but I guess I'll have to do my best."
Tori stands there. She doesn't know what she's expecting to hear come out of Jade's mouth but her heart hopes that Jade is going to say the words she's been dreaming about her saying.
Jade decides to lay it all out on the table for Tori. "I don't know when it happened or even how long I've known on a subconscious level but I think I'm in love with you and that scares me more than I'd like to admit because this is all so new to me and I don't want to do something to hurt you in any way. I've messed up a lot in the past when it comes to our relationship but after tonight, I can't deny that I feel something for you that I never knew I felt because I was in denial about it."
Tori wants to believe her, she really does but something in her heart isn't convinced yet. Her thoughts must be obvious to Jade and it breaks her heart when Jade asks, "do you even believe me?"
Tori wants to say that she does believe her. She wants to tell Jade that she feels the same way about her but there's this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. "I really want to tell you that I do…"
"Yet, you can't," Jade replies. It hurts to hear that even after telling Tori how she feels, she doesn't think she's being honest about her emotions. She doesn't mean to do it but she actually starts to cry. "If I were you I probably wouldn't believe me either but it's true."
Jade can't believe that she's crying right now. She had the urge to cry when she told Beck that they wouldn't be getting back together but ultimately nothing came.
Tori starts to panic when Jade starts to cry. She doesn't know if she should try to comfort the other girl or not. Her eyes dart back and forth and she stands frozen, watching Jade.
Tears are slowly falling down Jade's cheeks but she doesn't care about that right now. She needs Tori to see that she means what she says. She means it when she tells Tori how she feels about her and if this is the only way to prove it then she'll do it.
Jade doesn't hide anything in that moment and she says what's been on her mind for longer than she'd care to admit. "Things didn't feel right with Beck tonight and it hit me so hard when he told me that he missed me. I wanted to tell him I missed him too because I did but suddenly that wasn't what I wanted anymore. I figured out that I want to be with you and it's kind of crazy because I spent so much of my time trying to hate you. No matter how much I tried, hating you never worked and that made me angry with myself. I thought you were after my boyfriend when we first met but every time you were around me after that, I felt myself liking you more than I should have."
"Jade…" Tori calls softly.
Jade swallows the lump in her throat and tries to wipe away all the tears that have definitely messed up her makeup. She continues on because she needs Tori to understand. "When I knew I couldn't hate you I tried to make you think I did. I figured that if you thought I hated you then maybe you wouldn't try so hard to be my friend and I could go back to the life I thought was perfect before you came along. Meeting you showed me what I was missing out on. You were something different and I don't like change. You made me realize that I wasn't really that happy with the way things were."
Tori's mind is racing a thousand miles an hour. There's so much she wants to say to Jade. Her heart is pounding in her chest but she can tell that Jade isn't done yet so she stays silent so the other girl can get everything she's been meaning to say out in the open.
"I was pretending to be happy and everyone bought it." Jade's voice cracks and she shakes her head. "When I realized that I wasn't truly happy, it was a hard pill to swallow because I fooled myself into thinking I was. However, all I think about is how I feel when I'm with you. I feel like I can finally be myself without being controlled and I don't know how to tell you how much easier it is to breathe knowing that someone sees me for who I am and still wants to be around me."
Tori listens to Jade ramble and by the end of it she can see the truth in Jade's eyes. She hadn't noticed it before but the way Jade is looking at her tells her that everything she said is real. She likes her and for a minute Tori freezes. She never thought this moment would come.
Once she's out of her trance, she takes in Jade's appearance. Her mascara is smeared from her tears and her lipstick is messed up. Her hair is a little tousled from her hands running through it and Tori thinks she still looks beautiful. Overwhelmed by the sudden urge to kiss her, Tori steps into Jade's personal space. Tori touches the left side of her face and pulls her in to meet her lips.
At first Jade doesn't respond to the kiss and Tori worries that she's made a mistake and acted too hastily. However, a few seconds later Jade is kissing her back and the world is turning on its axis again. Jade is a good kisser and her hands fit nicely on Tori's waist. After pulling away from each other Jade smiles at Tori.
Jade leans forward and rests her forehead against Tori's. Her eyes are still closed when she speaks. "I didn't know how you were going to take the news of my feelings but I think that was probably the best outcome I could have hoped for."
Tori takes the opportunity to gaze at Jade while her eyes are closed. "I don't know what came over me but I knew I wanted to kiss you. I don't know if my words have made any sense if I tried to explain how I felt about you so I just… went for it."
Jade's eyes open and Tori is instantly looking into blue eyes. "I'm glad you did" Jade mumbles with a smile.
Tori pulls herself away from Jade but grabs both her hands and holds onto them. "So, where do we go from here?" She asks hopefully.
Jade swings their intertwined hands back in front while biting her lower lip to prevent a huge smile from forming on her lips. "Maybe I could take you on a date?"
Tori can't agree fast enough and it makes Jade laugh softly. Jade and Tori are about to discuss the details of their first date when Jade's phone buzzes in her pocket. Jade lets go of one of Tori's hands to pull it out and check it. After sending a quick reply back, Jade looks to Tori. "Cat asked if we were coming back to the asphalt or not."
Tori thinks about it for a moment. "I guess we could go back and join them," she says before adding "as long as we talk about our date later?"
"Sure," Jade answers easily. As she and Tori walk back to where they came from, Jade squeezes the hand she's still holding onto. Tori looks over at her with a questioning look. "I guess you finally got me that date after all and you didn't even have to pay someone this time."
Tori sighs dramatically. They're only a few feet away from their friends when Tori gently bumps her shoulder against Jade's shoulder. "Are you ever going to let that go?"
Jade smirks in the typical way that she does. "Nope and now that we're going on dates I'll have so much more time to tease you about it."
Tori huffs in playful annoyance and lets go of Jade's hand. Her and Jade easily fall into conversation with their friends and when Jade and her make eye contact and share a secret smile several minutes later, Tori is beyond thankful that she and Jade have a chance to really become something special.
/
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