Chapter 12: Have You Ever Loved?

"I think I'm in love with you"

Those words echoed in Sombra's mind, over and over, again and again, she felt the words drawl out and coat her brain in web of confusion, as if a veil had been placed over her eyes so that everything in front of her was uncertain. She just lie there on her bed staring at the ceiling. They had only gone on their first date last night, and shared two kisses and Jesse confessed his love for her. She didn't really remember much after that, everything seemed to blend together. How could she possibly have a way to respond to that, sure she can't deny that she has feelings, but to call it love?

"Fuck, Sombra, have you ever loved?"

She brooded over this thought in her head for a while before finally settling on a simple answer, which she said out loud as if her mouth worked separately from her brain.

"No."

She was a loner all her life, her first "real life." friends were Talon agents, who were a poor excuse for company and hardly ever conversated with each other. Amélie was the worst of them: cold, effective, and cunning. When she made a mistake, Amélie would grill her for days; it was a never ending torrent of ridicule. Sombra sat up in her bed, before swinging her legs over the side. She sat like this, seething for a few moments, until she decided to stand up and walk to the bathroom. She walked over to the sink and turned the cold water on before she hung her head low over the sink. She glanced up into the mirror but instead of seeing herself she saw her, Amélie Lacroix, Widowmaker. Her skin cold and blue, she wore that wicked smile on her face as if she had already won.

"One day, chéri, you will be just like me."

Sombra felt her body fill with rage, her blood boiled, her teeth gritted together, and with speed and force she swung her fist into the mirror, cracking it in the center.

"Fuck you…"

She whispered before her anger took full control, she swung over and over, a flurry of blows breaking the remaining glass and making any reflection unrecognizable.

"FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!"

She screamed with each punch. Sombra swung a final time, smashing her fist into the already broken glass, it was when the anger faded and the sadness took over that she felt the pain in her knuckles, she felt the blood running down her clenched fist and over her forearm. The cuts were deep too deep for to just hide with normal bandages. She collapsed onto the floor, her arms hung at her side. The blood dripped onto the white tile of the bathroom floor, she sobbed and the teardrops fell as much as she blood ran from her knuckles. She picked up a large shard of glass and stared at a moment before placing a sharp point against her wrist.

"I'll die before I become like you."

. . . . . .

Angela Ziegler had just finished her morning duties, disinfecting the med bay and making sure all the medical equipment was working properly. She admired her handiwork before returning to her office and switching on her console. She checked to see if there was any progress on new medicines, and procedures, but came up short. She finally looked at crew members who needed to complete an intake physical, the only persons name who showed up was Sombra's, all alone on that dark screen.

"We used to be so much more."

Angela thought to herself before shaking her head. She stood up and started walking down the hall to the dorms.

"It seems Miss Sombra forgot to check in for her physical, as such, it's my duty to remind her that it is necessary for her to do so as soon as possible."

She walked her heels clicking with each step as she kept a brisk pace until she reached Sombra's door. She knocked three times, waited...no reply. She knocked again this time calling out.

"Miss Sombra, it's Angela, I have some important information to ask you about.

Again, silence...nothing.

"Must be a heavy sleeper, I'll make sure to put that into my notes."

Angela almost turned but there was something that just gnawed at her bones, a sour feeling in her gut, like the apprehension before you take that leap of faith. She reached out and opened door to Sombra's room. Her bed was a mess, sheets and covers discarded and the startling fact was she wasn't in it. Angela took a step in before she looked from right to left, when her eyes scanned towards the bathroom she froze, she saw Sombra lying on the floor in a puddle of blood.

"Oh my god…"

Angela's voice shook before she closed her eyes and sprung into action, she bolted to Sombra's side, checked her pulse and breathing before checking on her wounds.

"Pulse weak, breathing labored, severe laceration on wrist tracking up the arm, along with minor lacerations and bruising to the knuckles."

Saying things out loud usually helped her keep things on track and prevent possible mistakes. Angela picked up Sombra into her arms, her blood smearing onto Angela's pristine white lab coat. She tore out of the room and headed toward the med bay, shouting orders to Athena, the base's artificial intelligence unit. Other agents peeked their heads out of their doorways to see what the commotion was all about. Hana had heard the shouting coming from next door and decided to take a look. When she saw Angela covered in blood carrying Sombra sprinting past her door, her heart froze in shock.

"Holy shit…oh god please no."

She bolted after them following them all the way to the med bay. When she got there Angela had already laid Sombra down on an operating table, she had just put in an IV of blood. She looked over at Hana who was now standing at Sombra's side, in complete awe.

"Hana, I need to keep pressure on this wound, behind me, center set of drawers, in the middle drawer is my suture kit, get it for me."

Hana remained still, trying to take in the scene that laid before her. Just then, Jesse rushed in and saw Sombra lying there.

"Oh my god...what the hell happened?" Jesse muttered.

Angela had enough.

"If you two are going to be in here, you're going to be useful, if not, get out." She barked.

"Anything you need, Angela." Jesse nodded swallowing hard.

"Jesse, get Hana out of here, she doesn't need to see this and notify Ana, I need her assistance." She commanded coolly, as she wiped the blood away from the gash on Sombra's arm and proceeded to wipe the area with disinfectant. Jesse wrapped his arm around Hana's shoulder and guided her out.

"Don't worry, she'll pull through. Angela and Ana will fix her right up." Jesse reassured, honestly he didn't know who needed it more, Hana or himself.

Jesse ran to Ana's room and pounded on the door.

"Ana! Angela needs you in the med bay now… it's Sombra... something happened!"

Ana's door opened immediately and when she saw Jesse's face she knew it was serious and took off past him. When she got to the medbay, Angela was moving frantically, pumping epinephrine to heightening Sombra's heart rate. Ana immediately joined her side and put pressure on the wound while she watched the EKG.

"Heart rate is rising too fast, Angela."

"I'm working on it, just got to finish these sutures." Angela commanded.

"She's not getting blood fast enough." Ana said still staring at the EKG.

All of sudden Sombra's body started convulsing violently. Ana reached over and held Sombra's body still with her free hand.

"She's seizing, she must be having an adverse reaction to the epinephrine!" Ana shouted.

"Push ten cc's of ativan." Angela barked.

Ana quickly pulled a syringe off the tray that was in between them and pushed it into the IV stuck in Sombra's arm. Even after the medicine entered her system, it seemed to have no effect, her heart rate was still climbing.

"Angela, this isn't working, use the nanotechnology!" Ana pleaded.

"We can do this, we don't have to-" Angela was cut off as Ana pulled a syringe filled with the nanobiotic serum from the belt at her waist and stabbed it into Sombra's thigh.

"I'm sorry, Angela." Ana looked at her apologetically.

Sombra's heart rate calmed and her convulsing stopped. Angela punched the tray that was beside her, as she gritted her teeth.

"Ana, you know how I feel about the overuse of biotic technology! You've seen what it can do!" Angela glared at her.

"I have, but I'd rather have a living agent than a dead one." Ana said, giving Angela an intense stare before tossing the empty vial on the tray, then swiftly turning and storming out.

. . . . . .

Sombra slowly opened her eyes, her vision was blurred, but after blinking a few times her vision slowly returned to her as she sat up and took in her surroundings. She was no longer in her bathroom, but in the medbay; it was cold in the room and the sheets on her bed were less than comfy. She finally noticed Hana who was laying in a chair next to her bed sound asleep.

"She… stayed here to make sure I was okay? God I'm such a fool." she whispered weakly.

"Yeah you are…"

She heard a familiar voice speak out, she noticed that Jesse was leaning in the doorframe.

"You gave us all quite the scare… what were you thinking Sombra?" Jesse's look wasn't one of anger, but more worry mixed with disappointment.

"I… I don't know, Jesse. There's a lot about me you don't know, the things they did to me at Talon, they...they tried to make me like her, but the conditioning just didn't take…"

"They tried to turn you into Widowmaker?" Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Tried." Sombra replied softly.

Angela strode into the room with a clipboard in hand. Took a glance at Jesse and Hana.

"Now now Jesse, the girls' been through enough, let's just let it go for now." she looked at Hana, who was still passed out in her chair next to Sombra.

"Poor girl, almost lost a good friend today, she must be going through hell." Angela visage turned sour before she turned back to Sombra and gestured to her arm as if to ask if she could inspect it. She looked it over, let it go, jotted down some notes on her clipboard before she looked up and smiled at Sombra.

"Looks like you're all clear to get out of here, the biotic medicine healed up your arm fantastically. However, you need to come see me tomorrow for an evaluation of your psyche." she paused before she resumed speaking. "But all that can wait for now, you will be able to join us for girl's night, however I suggest you go easy on the alcohol." Angela gave her a weak smile.

"Thank you Angela, I owe you my life." Sombra smiled.

"You owe me nothing, happy to be of service." Angela's smile was now much warmer.

With that, Angela left the room, Jesse nodded and followed after her, Sombra was going to ask him to stay but decided to let him go, she had put him through enough for one day. As she sat in silence and stewed in her thoughts, Hana shifted in her sleep and turned towards Sombra, blinking a few times before sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, Hana" Sombra said giving Hana a half smile.

"You idiot…" Hana looked at her with a scowl.

"Do you have any idea how worried we were about you? Jesse doesn't get scared often but when he saw you on that table, I have no idea how he held himself together." Tears started welling up in Hana's eyes as she continued.

"And I almost lost a close friend, I don't know what's going on in your head, but please don't ever do anything like this again, please come talk to me, you're not alone anymore." she finished and quelled her sobbing into a gentle sniffle.

Sombra got out of bed feeling surprisingly normal, and walked over to Hana.

"I promise, now c'mon. Gotta get ready for girls night."

Hana's frown was replaced with a warm bright smile.

"Hell yeah, girl's night awaits."

Author's Notes

Hello lovelies, I feel bad about how I neglected this story for so long so how about two chapters in 2 days eh? Hopefully this doesn't feel to rushed or forced but going over it i feel like it's one of the best chapters I have written yet, and holy shit this story has close to 18,000 views, (at least at the time I'm writing this.) I'm not one to set goals for the fans but hey, gettin to 20,000 would be the fucking dream y'all. And obviously I want to do something for the fans assuming we can get there so I'll think of a random reward that I can put in for a fan. Anyways thank you for reading and stopping by to support my horrible high school level writing. You all are the reason I do this, your support and comments are always welcome. ~Moby