Hiroki frowned and brought his knees up to his chest as he stared at Nowaki's grayed-out username on his friends list. The colored dot on the side remained red. Hiroki had been staring at it for so long that he was starting to see red dots all around him. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.
He was seated on his bed in one of Nowaki's shirts and a pair of his new underwear that Miyagi had forced him to keep. Nowaki's shirt had been safely tucked away for several months, Hiroki being way too embarrassed to wear it. Now, however, he clung to the black cloth as if it was Nowaki himself.
"Well fuck you, too, Nowaki," Hiroki muttered as he logged out of the video chat program. He glanced at his alarm clock, where it read 1:32AM. Counting on his fingers and murmuring under his breath, Hiroki calculated that it was 9:32AM in Japan, where Nowaki would certainly already be awake to get ready for work. It was the usual time for them to do a late-night, early-morning video chat session.
But of course, for the third week in a row, Nowaki did not log on.
"You know what?" Hiroki asked himself, reaching over to his bedside table and retrieving his phone. He rapidly punched in Nowaki's number. "I'll just call you myself, you damn bastard."
Before the first ring could even begin, a robotic female voice made Hiroki jump in surprise.
"We're sorry, but the number you have dialed is not in service at this time. Please check your number and dial again."
Hiroki's frown faded, only for his lips to part as he stared straight ahead in disbelief. His arm shook as he lowered the phone and listened to the muffled voice of the recording play over and over.
"Shut the fuck up," he whispered, pressing the 'hang up' button on his phone. His jaw clenched and he threw his phone down on the bed, where it bounced across the plush surface. "Shut the fuck up!"
Hiroki lowered his head and buried his face in his knees, squeezing his eyes shut.
Don't cry, Kamijou.
You've been doing it flawlessly up until now.
You can do it.
Hiroki balled up his fists and raised his head, scowling down at his open laptop. He slammed it shut and picked it up to practically throw it onto his bedside table.
"I'm not fucking crying for you," Hiroki snarled, reaching over to turn off the desk lamp. He dove under the covers with a flourish and pulled them up all the way to his temples.
It was when he was safely in the warmth of his blanket that the first tear fell.
Hiroki's eyes peeled open and he blinked tiredly in the darkness.
Was that…?
Shaking his head dazedly, Hiroki laid his head back down.
Thud.
Hiroki's head shot up again at the same moment his heart leapt up to his throat, and he gripped the covers in preparation to throw them off and make a mad dash for Fuyumi's crib.
However, he didn't even have time to move before he heard the door to his bedroom slowly creak open.
Hiroki cringed, instinctively ducking his head under the covers. His blood halted in his veins as the light of the bedroom was turned onto 'dim'. Hiroki didn't dare lower his blanket.
Footsteps.
Hiroki's heart hammered against his ribcage in terror as he tense. He felt the bed dip a little behind him. A heavy presence leaned over him and-
"NO!" he shrieked, throwing his fist back so hard that it sent his blanket flying off of him. A large hand caught his wrist.
A large, warm hand.
Hiroki panted as he squinted up at the dark mass above him. He knew who it was before his vision had a chance to clear.
"Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered. He had a sad look on his face. "You're not afraid of me, are you?"
Hiroki stared up at him with widened eyes for a moment before a deadly glare took over his face. He violently wrenched his wrist out of Nowaki's grip. Kicking the remainder of the sheets off of him, he launched out of bed.
"Of course I was fucking scared!" Hiroki exclaimed, gesturing widely to show Nowaki the extent of his fury. "What the fuck is wrong with you, sneaking into my house like that? Why the hell didn't you tell me you were here? Why are you back so early?"
"I finished the curriculum before the scheduled graduation date," Nowaki said softly. His eyes suddenly seemed to reflect the regret of his decision, and his shoulders slumped. "Sorry, Hiro-san. I should have knocked."
"Knocked? Knocked?" Hiroki shout-whispered, glancing at Fuyumi's crib to make sure he wasn't waking her. "You should've fucking called! You should have at least sent me a text or even a fucking letter!"
Nowaki's brows furrowed.
"You would have been angry either way, Hiro-san."
Hiroki threw his hands into the air.
"I've worked very, very hard to get here tonight. I'm exhausted. Please, can this wait until tomorrow?" Nowaki sighed, dropping his black duffel bag on the bed and unbuttoning his overcoat with the silver buckles. He ran a hand through his hair, tipping his head back. Hiroki gripped the hem of his pajama shirt, blushing slightly.
Nowaki had gotten taller.
Again.
And his hair had gotten more disheveled.
Hiroki was pretty sure he had a model in his room.
But…
"Wait until tomorrow…" Hiroki echoed sarcastically, squinting and crossing his arms as he popped his hip. Nowaki eyed Hiroki ever so slightly, his gaze lingering on his thighs. Hiroki snapped his finger, and Nowaki looked back up hastily. "Yeah, sure. I'll wait another day. I'll wait another month, even. I mean, what does it matter anyway? I've already waited three weeks for you to fucking contact me, why not one more measly month, huh?"
Nowaki's jaw clenched visibly.
"I told you, I was busy earning my degree. I should have contacted you, yes, but I wanted to surprise you," Nowaki said. He shrugged. "It's not like when I went to study abroad, you know. You knew I had to work hard."
Hiroki scowled furiously, his cheeks burning with anger.
"And furthermore, it was you who always got frustrated whenever we talked too late at night," Nowaki continued. Hiroki's lips flapped speechlessly as Nowaki turned from him to shrug out of his unbuttoned overcoat. It revealed the top of his black t-shirt-clad torso, where his powerful shoulder blades flexed. He let the overcoat slide off of his arms and tossed it onto the bed.
"Y-You…" Hiroki stammered. He flushed scarlet. "I was just trying to make sure you got enough sleep for work!"
"I didn't need sleep!" Nowaki snapped, turning around to face Hiroki again. "I needed you!"
Hiroki's lips parted for a split moment before he glared at Nowaki.
"That's stupid!" he barked. Nowaki rolled his eyes and began walking around the bed towards Hiroki. Hiroki took a shaky step back. "Wh-What are you doing? Stop!"
Hiroki backed away from Nowaki as he came around, raising his hands in a gesture for Nowaki to back off.
"I said stop! Nowaki!" Hiroki exclaimed. Nowaki walked straight up to him stopped mere inches away from him, peering down into his russet glare.
"You're overreacting, Hiro-san," Nowaki said lowly. Hiroki bristled.
"It's perfectly understandable for me to be angry, I-!" he began in a shout.
"Hiro-san!"
Hiroki yelped as Nowaki reached out for him.
"I said NO!"
There was a sharp crack as the back of Hiroki's hand connected with Nowaki's cheek. Nowaki jerked backwards, hissing in pain.
"Hiro-san," Nowaki growled, reaching out and snatching up Hiroki's wrist. Hiroki didn't have time to flinch before Nowaki raised his hand and very gently slapped his cheek- a soft pat more than anything. Hiroki stared up at Nowaki, trembling. Nowaki gazed back down at him, his brows knitted. "Don't hit me."
"Uhn," Hiroki sniffled. He wilted slightly as his eyes watered. Nowaki's eyes softened and he reached up to brush Hiroki's cheek.
"Hiro-san? I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked frantically, stooping down to see Hiroki's cheek better. Hiroki sobbed and pushed Nowaki away from him.
"Get away! Get out!" he cried, shoving Nowaki with every syllable. Nowaki was pushed all the way to the sliding glass doors.
"Hiro-san…?" he asked, stumbling back. Hiroki wrenched the glass doors open, pushed Nowaki out, and slammed the door behind him. He locked the door just as Nowaki reached out to grab the handle. Hiroki panted between sobs, his knees shaking as he wept into balled fists. Nowaki was slapping at the door, calling something to Hiroki from the other side of the glass. It sounded a lot like 'Hiro-san! Open the door!'
Hiroki hugged himself, watching Nowaki as his ebony locks of hair fluttered in the midnight breeze. Nowaki stopped pounding after a while and pressed his hand up against the glass. He leaned against the door and pressed his forehead to it, looking down at the ground.
"I waited for you to call me," Hiroki said softly. Nowaki looked up, but his eyes were dark with confusion. Hiroki continued, knowing Nowaki couldn't hear him. "I… even though I have Fuyumi, I need you, too. I love you, and I show frustration when you talk to me because I want you to be successful. It had nothing to do with being tired of you."
Nowaki's lips parted, and he reached down to rattle the handle of the sliding door. He glanced up, seeing that Hiroki was still talking, and rattled harder.
"I missed you so much," Hiroki whispered, his face contorting. Nowaki glanced around desperately as if looking for something. Without warning, he sprinted away from the door. Hiroki blinked in confusion and leaned forward to try and see Nowaki in the darkness.
A second later, he heard footsteps pounding up the steps to his front porch.
Hiroki ran faster than he ever had before, skidding into the entrance hall in less than two seconds. He barreled into the door just as it opened a crack, and it slammed shut again. Reaching down, he tried to lock it, but the handle turned before he could do anything and the door opened again. He and Nowaki battled vigorously for dominance.
"Go away! Go away!" Hiroki yelled furiously, his bare feet just barely gripping the floor.
"No!"
"I'm serious!"
"I won't leave!"
"Stop it!"
They continued to fight, but after a few seconds, Hiroki heard a strange sound. His eyebrows furrowed as he shoved against the door.
"Are you fucking laughing?"
"Hehe!"
"Stop!"
"I'm sorry, Hiro-san… I'm imagining you… pushing against the door… in your pajamas…" Nowaki panted breathlessly from the other side. Hiroki shoved the door once more and looked down at himself, noticing his bare legs and how they were bent at awkward angles just to keep Nowaki out of the house.
And he snorted.
Then he began to giggle, and soon Nowaki and Hiroki were laughing so hard that their shoving and pushing was weakening.
Emotion washed over both men as they, at the same exact time, realized just how stupid everything was. Their arguments, stupid. Their misunderstandings, stupid. Every waking moment of their relationship spent fighting was just stupid.
Stupidly lovely- that's what they were. Just a couple of idiots who didn't understand the concept that they were simply in love. They were so idiotic, in fact, that it had taken them almost nine years to figure it out.
They were in love, and that was never going to change.
Hiroki wondered for a moment if other couples were as stupid as he and Nowaki, and as he did, he lightened his pressure on the door ever so slightly. Nowaki immediately overpowered him and, without warning, was running into Hiroki like a freight train. They collapsed onto the hardwood floor with Hiroki trapped under Nowaki's weight.
"Hey, get out of he-" Hiroki began jokingly, but before he could finish, Nowaki's lips were desperately clashing with his. Hiroki fought back a little out of reflex, grunting and yelling his protests into Nowaki's mouth. He slapped at Nowaki's back in a vain attempt to get him off. His fighting back grew weaker and weaker until his palms relaxed on Nowaki's shoulders and his eyelids fluttered shut. With a moan of submission, he kissed Nowaki back, wrapping his arms around his neck.
"Hiro-san," Nowaki breathed when he pulled away. He licked his lips. "Your nipples are poking me through our shirts."
Hiroki blushed and glowered up at his idiot fiancé.
"Well, maybe if you hadn't left the door open! Close the door, and we'll continue this in the bedroom."
