I am so sorry, I know this is long overdue, but life and my laziness got in the way. I actually wrote this chapter out a few times but it kept on getting deleted. If yall like this one and want me to update it again I will have it up as soon as I can! More people have read the first few chapters than I thought would read any of the book, THANK YALL SO MUCH!


'Where's the CIA officer?' Gibbs said, wanting to get his hands on the bastard.

'He left right after Ziva did, had some excuse about an old case. He said he'll be in touch.'

Tony didn't understand what was wrong, or what Gibbs and Ziva were hiding from him but it was pissing him off.

'What is going on? Who was that guy?' Tony said looking at Ziva, trying to catch her eye but she was looking straight at Gibbs.

Gibbs couldn't believe this, they just had one of the bastards that tortured Ziva non-stop for four months and now he was going to have to call in a lot of favors in order to find him again.

'Ziver, you stay with DiNozzo, don't try to leave him, he goes with you everywhere.'

'Gibbs I am fine it-'

'I don't give a damn what you think you can do, you either stay with him, or you go with me to explain all of this to the director.'

Ziva glared at him, and honestly, he was glad. He would rather her be pissed at him than have the same memories go through her mind over and over. He wants her to feel something other than the pain and fear that has been cousin through her body for the past thirty minutes. Even if she is pissed at him, it's better than whatever she was feeling before.

'Fine.' Ziva said not breaking eye contact with him. He could see the fear in her eyes, behind that ice glare she had mastered after years upon years of the trauma he could see how deeply terrified this situation made her, and it pissed him off.

'She already lived through this shit once, I'll be damned if she goes through it again.' He thought to himself.

He started to walk away but quickly turned around and gathered Ziva in a hug, not caring who was watching, he didn't care what anyone thought when they saw it. But he DID care about the small shake that went through her body as he held her close.

'We're gonna find him, kid, I promise you, I am going to find this bastard .'Gibss said before letting go of her and starting his way to see the director.

'I'll ask again, what the fuck is going on here?' Tony said looking at Ziva, his gut was churning and he could tell something terrible was happening, what he couldn't figure out is why Ziva, his best friend and the person he loved- the person he cared for more than anyone won't tell him what's wrong.

When Ziva did finally look at Tony, she knew he could see the tears going down her face but she didn't care, it was Tony and Tony has always been safe.

'We need to talk.' Ziva said before grabbing his hand and pulling him to an elevator. Seeing that it was empty they got on before closing the door and pressing the emergency stop button.


So she just started crying?' Abby said, knowing that that wasn't normal for Ziva, and went to get on an elevator to check on her but for some reason, it isn't working.

'No, she started crying after Gibbs hugged her, I don't know what's going on but it's serious.' McGee said, he was on his way to his desk when he saw the exchange and after Ziva and tony walked away, he ran to Abby's lab and tried to explain everything in a rush.

'Something is wrong, really really wrong. Ziva doesn't cry, I mean she might but not in front of others and especially not at work.' Abby said while walking to the stairs. She didn't know what she was going to do when she saw Ziva but she knew she needed to be there for her friend. They might not be as close as Ziva and tony were but she still cared deeply for her. The only thing Abby could think of was that Ziva was leaving, and Ziva wouldn't willing to leave them after everything.

Maybe she doesn't have a choice? Abby thought to herself, but she couldn't figure out why anyone would make Ziva leave, and why Gibbs wouldn't fight it. Unless… was Gibbs making Ziva leave? No. he wouldn't. Not unless she messed up badly.

'McGee, haven't tony and Ziva been really close lately?' Abby asked while stopping and turning around to face her friend. The only thing she could think of that would have Gibbs firing anyone would be breaking a rule, and Ziva doesn't break the rules, but she and tony have gotten very close, if they were together and came clean to Gibbs would he fire one of them?

'Well yeah, but they are always pretty close? I mean you don't think…' McGee finally caught on to Abby's thought and it stopped all of his other thoughts.

'Are Tony and Ziva together? No. They wouldn't, right? Yes, yes they would. Is Gibbs firing her? Why not Tony? Unless he's firing both? Oh shit! Is that why she was crying? No, he wouldn't after this long, even if she and tony broke rule twelve.' McGee thought to himself.

'Abby, maybe we need to wait, Abby went to stop him but he continued, 'Think about it, Ziva never cries, hell I've only seen her truly get angry a few times. If she is crying we are better off letting her cool down some.'

Abby thought about it and she didn't like it but couldn't help but think that McGee was right.


'Where is your head at?'

Ziva was taken aback by the question. She expected tony to be angry and lash out. Not at her, but he can be protective and she wasn't sure how to handle his reaction. She was waiting for a million and one questions, but she was not expecting his first to be about her headspace. The fact that his first thought was about how she is handling this and not getting more information on the subject warms her heart and makes her eyes burn. After all, he just learned how can he worry about her? She doesn't think she will ever understand how big his heart really is.

"My head is here, but my mind? It is everywhere Tony. I do not know how to process what is happening, I am barely coming to terms with what happened there.' She says while leaning her head against the cool metal of the elevator. Tony walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug. She stayed there for a few seconds before pulling away and looking at him.

'You wanted to talk, so we will talk. I have to tell you everything now Tony because I am not sure I will have the courage to do so later.'


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