III.
To appease her mother, Asuka took combat drills almost every day following her failure battle.
Her mother hadn't prompted her. Nor had Asuka said anything to her about it directly. She asked for increasing difficulty and realistic pain simulation to get used to it, over the raised eyebrows of the technicians she worked with.
But a part of her felt like she deserved the resulting flagellation. For failing. If she were even a fraction of the skilled pilot she should have been, she would have won easily. She needed to become that person.
For her own survival.
Even if it destroyed her.
She had just completed a daily run of simulation training when she was paged by her mother. By now Asuka had formed calluses over her emotions to protect her from her mother's wrath, if it were to come. She received the call indifferently.
"Asuka, the Third Children has arrived today." The call had come while she was winding down from her latest simulator run. "His residence is located in your housing block. Since apparently command wants the pilots to familiarize with one another, the job falls on you to take him where he belongs. He will be waiting at gate 5."
"Understood." Asuka replied, then exited the plug. She went to get changed first, shedding her red plugsuit and donning her red leggings, sneakers, and black shirt. An olive jacket studded with patches she had found interesting in Europe finished her street clothes. The A10 connectors stayed in her hair, of course.
Gate 5 was her usual exit to go home, so it was a matter of course to take her normal route to get there. That's when she encountered him… the Third child.
Asuka spotted him instantly because he was the only person in the waiting area beyond the security door. She had noted with surprise earlier that her mother described the Third child in masculine pronouns, but beholding him reiterated the point. Girls weren't the only ones who could pilot Evangelion.
She sized him up as she approached. He was thin and scrawny, but with sleek black hair trimmed close. She wasn't impressed with him until his cobalt blue eyes were trained on her. Something in the depths of those eyes told her this would be an interesting person to know.
She spoke. "You're the Third child?"
The boy's set expression broke then into a mask of modesty and deference. "Y-yes." The boy replied, "Shinji… Ikari."
Asuka replied, "Charmed. I'm Asuka Soryu Langley, second children."
His eyes chanted with surprise and expectation. "Y-you're a pilot too?"
"Correct." She told him.
Shinji smiled. "Y-you're the first pilot I've met. What… what's it like? To… to pilot… the Evangelion?"
Asuka opened her mouth to respond when she checked herself. She was fraternizing. She had work to do when she got home, on top of dinner to find.
Even if she wanted to indulge him and discuss these things.
"Later." Asuka said, "My job now is to show you where you're living. Are you ready?"
"Ah! Yeah!" Shinji answered as he gathered up his backpack. "I was kinda bored actually, I've been waiting here a while."
Asuka wasn't certain if that was a passive dig at how long she took to get here. She didn't know if this Ikari was the kind to give backhanded insults with a smile, as her mom had done on many occasions.
"Sorry." Was all Asuka offered, then turned to the doors. "Let's go." Hands in pockets she ascended the last flight of stairs to the street level, with this Shinji Ikari following behind her.
As they walked in silence for a while, Asuka was trying to assess this boy and whether to give him her attention. He was an unknown, and if she had learned anything since landing here almost a month ago, it's that unknowns from Japan usually lead to new kinds of ways to hurt her.
She stole glances of him at intersections when looking both ways. Shinji was walking beside and behind her, which made it hard to discreetly assess him but told her he was a deferral sort. It was also a position lending itself to being stabbed in the back.
He spoke to her again."uhh, how far is it?"
"Pretty far, but it's in this street." She answered, "We just keep walking until we reach it."
A bus drove by then, prompting Shinji to ask, "Couldn't we just take a bus?"
"This is cheaper." Asuka answered. "Besides, no bus line goes from the Geofront exit to our apartment unit, anymore."
"Our unit?" He asked, "You live there too?"
Asuka parroted some of her mother's aggression, then. "What are you, stupid? Why else would I be leading you there?"
It was also a jab to see what he would do; whether he would barb back at her or fold. He did the latter. "Oh." He said and deflated a little. Asuka felt a little bad… but only to a point. Nobody here seemed sympathetic to the hell she was suffering. And if they did, they were… dealt with.
They came to another crosswalk. Road construction was going up and down this street, even though traffic was still permitted. "W-what happened?" Shinji asked suddenly.
Asuka looked at him, then turned to see what he was looking at. It wasn't just road construction.
The gashes in the roadway formed an advancing pattern. Over there, the pavement was blackened from where the severed umbilical cable electrically burned the roadway. A long purple slash of dried blood was still being sprayed off the building, even though the severed hand was long gone.
This… this was the site of her defeat.
Though she passed this spot every day on her way to the base and back, she had always been too lost in her thinking to notice. Not until Shinji had pointed it out.
"An angel." Asuka replied simply. Then it occurred to her that somehow, nobody must have told Shinji about her defeat. "You didn't know?"
Shinji shook his head.
Asuka looked back at the crosswalk. "I don't know how much I'm supposed to tell you. It just… happens. There's fighting in the city."
The light changed to allow them to cross, and Asuka started walking immediately. Her strides were wide enough that Shinji had to break into a jog to catch up with her. Quickly they were past the gashes, and moving away from the site of Asuka's humiliation.
They traveled another city block before Shinji reached out to her again. "H-How did you get into NERV?"
Asuka blinked. She had always been in NERV. From the moment she had been told she was chosen to be special, an Evangelion pilot, she knew she belonged to that organization. Her entire family was consumed with it. Mother had been working on her special project, and Father had been important in the organization somewhere. It hadn't mattered when he was her papa.
She shook her head as she returned to the present, aware of Shinji's lingering question. "Both of my parents work there."
"M-Mine too." Shinji said. "My p-parents both work there."
"What do they do?" Asuka asked.
"I… I don't know. My parents are supposed to be pretty important, I gather." Shinji lowered his head.
Asuka thought of it for a moment, then stopped and faced him. "Your Commander Ikari's son?"
Shinji blinked as he stopped with her. "C-commander? I… I guess so. He wrote to me and told me to come here. Until then I… I was living with my teacher. I…" he looked away, "I didn't think they wanted anything to do with me until then."
Asuka's fists clenched in her jacket as she compared them. His parents wanted nothing to do with him? Mother demanded excellence out of her. To be left alone with the freedom to do as one chooses….
"I see." Asuka replied curtly, bottling her anger rather than spill it on someone undeserving. "Come on. I have work to do."
"S-sorry." Shinji said as they resumed walking. After a few steps Shinji asked, "w-what do your parents do? I-if you don't mind me asking."
"My mother is the Director of Health and Pilot Maintenance. My father used to work in operations, but now he's a special inspector." She didn't want to talk about her father.
Shinji huffed a sad laugh. "You're lucky, it seems like your parents like having you around. I'm envious."
"You wouldn't be, if you were me." Asuka toned.
Shinji glanced at her. Then he said, "Your mom gave me my paperwork. I can tell she's a hard person."
"You don't know half of it."
"I don't. But… I can try to sympathize. What I remember of my father was similar, and I see he hasn't changed."
Asuka's mask was starting to peel as she considered this boy. She didn't know much about commander Ikari directly, but, what Shinji was saying didn't invalidate her limited experiences with command. In fact, arriving here to meet sheer hostility was very much her own experience.
They shared that, in addition to being pilots and working at NERV. In spite of herself she was starting to get excited talking to him as an equal, in ways that Rei refused to.
…she was fraternizing again.
They soon arrived at the apartment blocks. These cookie cutter housing coups, Asuka had learned, were thrown up to house the builders of Tokyo-3 in the beginning. Now that the laborers had moved on, these eyesores were slated for destruction.
She turned to him. "Do you have your apartment card?"
"Uh… I think so." Shinji said and opened his backpack. The first folder he opened didn't have it, so he crouched on the dirt in front of the building to scour his backpack.
Asuka took the time to examine him again while his attention was distracted. Sure, he wasn't conventionally handsome, but his boyish features did catch her attention. The more She considered his slender frame the more She thought of-
Asuka turned her head away. She had plenty of crushes before, but only one time- the first time- did she dare to try anything. It ended when her mother found out, and that was in spite of Asuka trying to hide it. Now, for their safety, Asuka kept her interests hidden from the objects of her attention.
She sighed at herself. She knew nothing about Shinji or his preferences. For all she knew he was a nice cute kid who wanted nothing to do with girls. It's not like he-
"Ah! I think this is it." Shinji said and stood, thrusting the card at her. She took it and looked over the room code of the terse, white plastic card.
"Three floors up. You're two doors away from my unit." She handed it back. "Let's go."
As expected, Shinji's apartment was just like hers in the beginning. Bare walls, tile floor, bay window. Bed.
"The landlord never comes." Asuka was saying, "payment is dictated by NERV but your landline phone has maintenance and security programmed in. Mail comes in at 4pm every day. When it comes to packages they usually drop them next to your door, but sometimes it's at the foot of the stairs. You should check both places if you're expecting anything.."
Shinji had just been standing at the center of the room, looking around it, dismayed. "This is where my parents want me to live?" He asked aloud.
Asuka, without thinking, stepped into the apartment. "What's wrong with it? You have a roof over your head you don't have to pay for. You can wake up, go to bed, and eat whenever you want to."
Shinji shook his head, facing away from her. "I… I suppose. But… it feels like moving from one unused room to another, you know?"
"No. I don't." Asuka answered honestly.
Shinji decided not to voice his sad thoughts to his very considerate guide. "Never mind then. It's… its fine."
Asuka decided to let it go, even though she didn't like leaving Shinji like this. There was nothing she could do for him. "Do you have any questions?"
"I…" he turned around to face her. "N-no." He said and bowed a little. "Thank you, Miss Langley."
"Call me Asuka."
She said it without thinking. Before she could correct herself, A small smile came to Shinji's face. "Then… call me Shinji."
A touch of warmth rested in Asuka's chest. She had to get out of here. "Well… I'm several doors down, in Unit 116. Knock, or whatever, if you need anything."
"Okay." Shinji nodded.
With that, Asuka turned for the doorway to leave. She was just out the door when Shinji called, "Asuka!"
The redhead turned around.
Shinji had taken a step towards her. "When… when my things come in, can you help me decorate?"
It was good the light behind her obscured her figure because Asuka swayed lightly on her feet. She wanted to say yes, but, mother.
"Well see." Is what she said, evading his eyes. She left his door to walk to her own, the hinges shutting the heavy thing behind her.
The door closed to her own apartment and she stood there a moment, thinking.
The third child was not what she expected. Two steps in and she thought of his captivating eyes. The little boyish grin.
Her pulse increased when she realized what was happening. She could feel her crush on Shinji crawling through her brain and trunk. She tried to breathe and control herself, clenching her fists and closing her eyes as she tried to restrain its spread. Somehow. Seal it away like all her other desires, lest they serve as new ways for her to be disappointed.
The battle within was such that her eyes were wet when she was finally able to assert control. She had to remind herself that she knew nothing of Shinji Ikari, and convince herself of ambiguous possibilities just to rein it in. Shinji might not be into girls. Shinji didn't want to be anywhere near anyone connected with Kyoko Zeppelin. Shinji didn't like redheads.
She heard his door open.
She turned to face the door but forced herself to stay put. His feet crunched to a stop in front of her door. There was a pause there… wasn't he going to knock?
"Don't be a creep…" she heard him utter and start to walk off.
What the hell did that mean, not be a creep? Why would she think he was a creep? What would he do that make her think he was a-
-hitting on you when he barely knows you maybe? her infatuation-tinged brain suggested.
Her excuses were immediately torn apart by that interpretation and she stood in her entry way, wracked with indecision as several thoughts and desires all clashed in her mind.
You'd be just as weird suddenly asking him out. Asking him out? What do you know about dating? Mother is going to hate this. You know what happened to the last boy you tried anything with. Don't you have homework to do anyway?
That got her to look at the clock. Suddenly the expectations of her entire schedule snapped back into place: dinner. Homework. Bathe. Wait.
She hurriedly tried to get back to her tasks and make up for lost time, but Shinji kept interfering. What was his favorite food? What was his favorite color? Was he just as scared about Evangelion piloting as she was?
It helped nothing knowing that Shinji would be delighted to talk to her about all of-
The phone rang in That Tone.
Asuka's blood froze in her veins and Shinji vanished. Immediately she lined up possible excuses to explain whatever accusations her mother would level at her. She answered the phone. "Hello, mother."
"You were supposed to call after the Third was put away."
"Ikari was chatty." She winced, "I had to excuse myself."
"You know you're supposed to be studying, right? That's why you have a place of your own."
"I did not anticipate his diversion raking as long as it did. I am now trying to,find dinner while I prepare to resume studying."
"Hmf. Very well." Asuka didn't breathe out the relief she felt at that concession. Mother would hear it. "I was calling to inform you that I've moved your test to accommodate a synchronization test at 8am. Your new test time is 5am."
That would cut into her sleep. Drastically. She had food, study time, sleep, and the actual test to perform in the next half day. It seemed she had to pick three of those four and fail at the fourth.
And if she skipped sleep it would affect her sync scores.
Asuka took a breath and said, "Mother, that will impact my-"
"Are you saying you're not prepared?"
And need to come back under my wing? Asuka knew that was next.
"No." Asuka answered, "I have it under control." Somehow.
"Good." Her mother replied. "I'm still not satisfied with your synch scores. I want you here ready for trials as soon as possible. Understood?"
"Yes mother."
"Good." Replied Kyoko and hung up.
Asuka dropped her arm while still holding the phone, and zoned out for a moment. She just stared into space like a lifeless doll. Like the thing her mother wanted her to be.
She realized she was doing it, fought and failed against it, before her will finally overcame her inertia. She took halting steps to the bed, where her homework had been laid out from earlier today. She had work to do.
Shinji was forgotten, for now.
A/N: We're still following Wreckage's old movement of ideas, but divergences are starting to appear. Shinji lived with his Sensei in this timeline, instead of his aunt and uncle. Yui is alive here and, like Wreckage, she occupies Ritsuko's canonical seat of being scientific director (Ritsu, instead, is pushed to technical mastery while Kyoko handles pilot bio and health). Since this is Asuka's story, her infatuation with Shinji is also better defined than in Wreckage at this point.
Pay note to Asuka's intensity of her passions. They will rear their head later.
