"Glaring at me isn't going to get your casino privileges back."

Pause.

"Pouting won't, either."

Pause.

"Hiro-san, that's a butter knife, not a weapon."

Hiroki threw the butter knife down and put his head down in his folded arms on the restaurant table. He stomped his feet.

"I wanna go back to the casino!"

"We can go back to the casino once you've learned to stay in one spot while I leave to get drink refills."

"I just went to another row of slot machines!"

"Yeah, and then you stole someone's drink after you kept losing, shook the slot machine until you got a 'tilt', and then got security called on you."

"Nnn…" Hiroki whimpered, looking up from his folded arms. "It's unfair. You always win and you don't even like gambling."

Nowaki sighed and reached across the table to soothingly ruffle Hiroki's hair.

"I know, babe. I'm sorry. Let's just have a nice dinner here, then we can go back to the room for the night. We can relax and watch T.V."

Hiroki looked up at Nowaki with big, watery eyes.

"Yes, you can decide what to watch, too."

Hiroki stuck out his lower lip.

"…Yes, I'll get a bottle of wine delivered to the room."

Hiroki grinned and sat up straight, putting his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his clasped hands.

"I want real Champagne!" he exclaimed, tilting his head and smiling widely.

"Real? As in the stuff straight from France?"

"Mm!"

"Of course. Anything for you," Nowaki purred, laying his upturned hand on the table for Hiroki. Hiroki put his hand in Nowaki's, allowing his husband to stroke the back of his hand with his thumb.

"This place is nice," Hiroki commented, glancing around. The restaurant was near the front of the deck, away from the casino per Nowaki's request. It was a high-end restaurant that still wasn't too formal- one that people could go to in their jeans and t-shirts.

"Mm," Nowaki agreed, looking down at his menu. "Ah… shoot."

"What is it?"

"I can't read it," he said, smiling sheepishly. Hiroki blinked. "It's in Swedish."

"Oh yeah," Hiroki said. He giggled. "Gimmie the menu."

Nowaki handed him the menu and Hiroki looked it over.

"They have lots of fish."

"Nn… anything else?"

"Shrimp."

"That's a fish, Hiro-san."

"No it's not! It's a crustacean!" Hiroki barked, looking up with fiery eyes. Nowaki laughed hard, tipping his head back and leaning back in his seat.

"You are so easy to anger!"

"You're stupid."

"Nope. I think I'm pretty smart."

"Stupid!"

"No!"

"Stupid!"

"N-"

Nowaki was cut off as Hiroki held up his hand. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, which was vibrating. He flipped it open.

"It's my mom," Hiroki said, his eyebrows furrowing. He brought the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Darling!"

"Hey, Mom," Hiroki said. He looked up at Nowaki, who was tilting his head in concern. "What's going on?"

"Oh, I just wanted to check up on my precious baby boy. And you too, Hiro-chan."

"Mom…"

"I'm just kidding!"

"Really, why did you call? Is something wrong with Fuyumi?"

"No, she's right here. She's so adorable, she's been saying 'Dada' all night!"

"Aw," Hiroki said, chuckling a little.

"But seriously, Hiro-chan, have you been to the bottom of your luggage bag yet?"

"The bottom of my…?" Hiroki trailed off. He glanced at Nowaki, to whom he mouthed the words 'She's fine'. Nowaki nodded and smiled. "No, we haven't yet. Why?"

"I found a black bag full of goodies in your bedroom when I packed your bag, sweetie!"

Hiroki's eyes widened.

"Wh-What 'goodies', Mom?"

"Oh, you know! The black bag, the one that was under your bed!"

"MOM!"

"Oh, honey, you can't hide anything from your mother. Remember back in your second year of high school when I found that Boy's Love novel under your pillo-"

"Mom, did you look in the bag?" Hiroki asked, his voice squeaking slightly.

"Why of course!"

Hiroki slammed his head down on the table, earning a surprised gasp from Nowaki.

"Mom… that's…"

"Oh, Hiro-chan. You don't have to be embarrassed. Your father and I had a bag very similar to yours. We used to treasure that bag. I remember when-"

"Mom!"

"Hiro-chan, why are you so embarrassed? I only packed that black bag full of letters from Wacchan. I assumed that you'd want to read them together. They say the honeymoon is the most romantic time for newlyweds, so I thought I'd pack those letters so you could enjoy some more romance!"

Hiroki's shoulders relaxed and he brought up his head. He wiped the perspiration from his forehead and sighed in relief.

"Oh, I see. Sorry, I thought… no, it's fine. Thanks, Mom."

"Oh, it's not a problem at all, peanut! Oh, by the way, I also packed you the giant vibrating dildo that I found in the small red bag that was in the other black bag under your bed."

Hiroki's heart stopped.

"You WHAT?"

"I must say, the motor is quite the charmer! I didn't try it myself, but I'm sure you and Wacchan could have great fun with it!"

Hiroki paled and lolled his head, practically frothing at the mouth.

"Hiro-san? Are you okay?" Nowaki asked. Hiroki shakily lifted a finger to give him a moment.

"Masa-darling, what's wrong? …No, of course not! Hiro-chan is speechless with gratefulness! …Yes, of course."

There was a jostling sound as Masanori was put on the phone.

"THROW IT OFF THE SHIP, BOY! DESTROY IT BEFORE IT DESTROYS YOU!"

"Masa-darling! It won't destroy Hiro-chan! Stop being so worrisome!"

"DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT THING?"

More jostling, a thud.

"I'M NOT LETTING MY ONLY SON DIE OF RECTAL TRAUMA!"

"Masa-darling, what are you doing?"

A crash.

"Masanori! You get back here right now!"

"I'M GOING TO SAVE MY SON!"

"Hiro-chan won't get rectal trauma! Wacchan's pee-pee is enormous!"

"TOMOKO!"

"Hiro-chan's fanny is a trooper! If he can take Wacchan's pee-pee, then he can take that dildo!"

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?"

"Have you seen Wacchan's feet?"

"EHHH?"

"Masa-darling, why are you yelling so much? Fuyumi wi-"

Hiroki snapped the cell phone shut and slammed it down onto the table.

"What happened?" Nowaki asked. Hiroki groaned and smacked his head down on the table again.

"My mom."