Written for Land of Myth server prompt
Something was wrong with Merlin. Arthur didn't know what, but he didn't miss the way how Merlin would sometimes stare off into empty space, his thoughts far far away from whatever he was doing. His eyes would look much older and broken on his youthful face when that happened, and Arthur didn't know what he was supposed to do.
Worry curdled in his stomach when he didn't hear anything from his friend ever since he had gone to pick up his doublet from the wardrobe. It was fine. He told himself as he raised his eyes from the letter he pretended to read, towards his companion who stood with his back straight and tense as he stared at something inside the wooden wardrobe. It's just Merlin. Merlin was always fine.
Arthur couldn't see Merlin's face, but he wasn't blind to the tension that rolled off from his shoulders. What was it that made him like that?
"Merlin" Arthur called out, hoping that he could snap the young man out of his stupor. "What is taking you so long? I asked for you to bring the red doublet, don't just laze around there!"
There was no response. Either Merlin didn't hear him, or he was blatantly ignoring the demands of his King. Arthur would give anything for it to be the latter.
Arthur was not worried. He was not worried and he was not concerned about the fact that his servant was seemingly lingering somewhere far away. He just does not condone Merlin wasting what precious time he had.
Getting up from his place at the desk, the King quietly walked towards his wardrobe, where his servant stood between the open doors, staring at everything and nothing.
"Merlin?" Arthur asked quietly, as he stood behind his friend so as to not to startle him. His hand reached to touch the dark haired man's shoulder which was as tense as a bowstring.
The King winced as the movement startled the young man so much that if it wasn't for Arthur's tight grip on Merlin, he would have fallen and hurt his head on the wooden surface.
The man was shaking, trembling as Arthur curled his arm around shoulders. "Merlin," The King tried, as concern filled his gut and panic filled his veins. This was unchartered territory for him. While he tried his best to get through his panicked Knights, Merlin was not a Knight. Arthur didn't know what to do.
"Hay Merlin, breathe" The golden haired man didn't let go of the other, holding him tightly as the man trembled, and Arthur felt his throat go tight. "Merlin, it's alright. Just breathe"
Soft affirmations were never Arthur's speciality. He did not know what he was doing. But neither was he going to abandon his friend who was dealing with an emotional struggle far more serious than Arthur's internal struggle on keeping up with his pride. Now he did not care for anything other than Merlin's health.
As it turned out, whatever Arthur was doing was working, as he felt the dark haired man he was holding on a death grip calming down. Breaths came in deep and slow, and the King was satisfied with the progress they'd made.
"Alright Merlin?" Arthur asked, with no teasing lilt, although he was not sure if he kept off the concern from lacing into his tone.
There was a shuddering breath. "I am fine," his companion said softly, refusing to look him in the eyes.
"You are most certainly not" Arthur retorted firmly, his hand never losing the grip on the other man's shoulder. "Come'on. We're going to sit down, and you're going to tell me what is going on with you."
The other man made no protest as he was guided towards the dining table by his King. Which was concerning in itself. Still, Arthur made no comment as he pulled out a chair and made Merlin sit down, and dragged the other one next to it for himself.
Picking up the water pitcher and a goblet that sat on the table, he poured the liquid into goblet until it was half full, and placed it on Merlin's hands. Arthur eyed his companion's haggard appearance. He looked worn down. Dark smudges under his eyes gave away another unsaid story, the King tried to ignore the feeling of dread pooling in his gut.
"What is going on Merlin?" Arthur did not try to hide the concern and worry that laced his tone. "You've been acting differently since-" Since when? Oh. Arthur swallowed, his mouth turning dry just as he realised when it was. "Since we found you after the ambush." the King whispered with dawning horror, his gut clenching with guilt.
His old friend flinched at the mention of it, but did not raise his eyes from the goblet that was on his hands. Arthur's chest felt tight. It had been two weeks. Two weeks since the cursed incident, two weeks since Arthur stopped worrying about Merlin's health because he was Merlin, and Merlin was always okay.
Oh how wrong he had been.
"Merlin" Arthur said, as his hand reached to the younger man's shoulder in reassurance. Arthur inwardly cursed himself, for being ignorant, for not being there for his friend when he clearly needed his help. "Talk to me. You don't have to do this alone."
Finally, finally, Merlin raised his eyes to meet his own, and Arthur could see the emotions swirling in his eyes like the dark storms that could bring down even the mightiest castles. What had happened to Merlin in the few hours he went missing to have traumatised him so much?
"Arthur," his old friend spoke so brokenly and Arthur felt his chest tighten for the pain his friend was going through. "Arthur, I am so, so tired"
Arthur remembered the times when Merlin had been there for him when he was sinking in his own grief. He talked through to him, snapping him out of his stupor pulling him out of his brooding with a witty comment or surprising wisdom. Merlin was always there for him, through his companionship, his wisdom, his idiocy. But when had Arthur ever been there for Merlin? Even now, it took him two weeks to swallow his pride and find out what was exactly wrong with Merlin. Guilt churned in his stomach when he remembered how he ended up giving Merlin more chores after he realised the servant had been spending his time at the tavern, disregarding the fact that he survived a traumatising ordeal.
How could he even call Merlin his friend when Arthur went and did something like that?
"I- I know I haven't been the best person to be around these days." Arthur carefully admitted, ignoring the vulnerability that he felt when he admitted his failure. "But I'm here- to listen if you- if you - want to talk." It was hard. Saying it out loud. He was not the best person to offer advice, nor being a patient listener. But he had to try, for Merlin.
He watched Merlin, as the dark haired man's glistening eyes flickered around the room, without settling on anything. His whole body was tense, Arthur could feel it through his own hand on the younger man's shoulder. He didn't dare to move, for the King knew that if he did, the strange tranquillity that had been settled around them would shatter, and they would never be able to come back to this.
The younger man licked his dry lips before he spoke. "It was Morgana."
It was Arthur's turn to tense, and he had to clench his jaw so hard to stop himself from saying anything. Although, he couldn't stop echoing Merlin's words from surprise and dread. "Morgana?"
His old friend looked at him then, shining eyes that looked far older than they were supposed to, with too many emotions swimming in the depths of them. "She woke me up with a bucket of cold water, and kept me strung up from her ceiling." Merlin said in a flat voice, with no emotions, eyes hardening with every word he spoke.
Horror dawned onto Arthur then, and he turned a shade paler, trying to imagine the scene Merlin had just described. Merlin, pale and shivering and injured, strung up from a ceiling, chains wrapped around his too boney figure. Anger ignited like a raging fire within him. How dare she? How dare she hurt Merlin, the sweetest person in all of Camelot?
"I thought she was going to kill me," Merlin said, his voice so full of despair, and Arthur didn't think he could listen to this anymore. He never again wanted to see Merlin in such a way, with shattered hope and unbearable agony. "I thought she was going to kill me, and gods, I wish she did" he choked, his blue eyes brimming with tears. "I wish she did!"
The goblet slipped from Merlin's hand, metal hitting the stone floor, its liquid splattering everywhere around them. Arthur paid it no mind. He was too busy trying to push back the tears that gathered at the end of his eyes. This agony in Merlin's voice, the despair in his eyes, what did she do, for him to think that death at her hand was more merciful than the alternative?
His grip on Merlin's shoulder tightened. Without thinking twice, Arthur pulled Merlin in, gathering him into a tight embrace. His left hand curled around his shoulder and his right hand laced in Merlin's hair at the back of his head. Arthur could feel Merlin shuddering in his arms, shaking like a leaf.
"It's okay Merlin. You're safe now." Another choked sob from Merlin, but Arthur didn't acknowledge it. Instead, the King closed his eyes and let one single tear escape from his eye. No one was there to witness it.
"She- she enchanted me to kill you!" The dark haired man exclaimed, trying to pull back from the embrace, but Arthur didn't let him. He held him tight, as if he would hold a younger brother. Arthur did not have any experience in embracing younger brothers, but he thought it would be something like this. The thought would have caused a warm feeling in his chest, but the agony that Arthur felt on his friend's behalf was far more powerful.
"You didn't kill me" Arthur's voice was rough, he himself was trying to choke back a sob. "I'm here. I won't go anywhere. I promise"
"Arthur," Merlin's head was buried in the crook of Arthur's neck, and Arthur's hand was soft caresses through the soft ebony hair. "Arthur," the dark haired man pulled back, and this time the King let him go reluctantly, but his hands were tightly clutched on the younger man's shoulders. "You don't understand"
Merlin's eyes were red from crying, the collar of Arthur's shirt was wet. Arthur hoped his own eyes didn't look as if he had been doing the same.
"Make me understand then, you are alive, I am alive. I don't want anything more than that" The King said gruffly, trying to make Merlin understand that it was enough. Questions of how they broke the curse, what exactly happened would come later. Now all Arthur wanted was to make Merlin see the truth. Morgana though, Arthur wanted to have the pleasure of killing her himself for making Merlin go through this agony .
His old friend took a shuddering breath and met his eyes. "When you were a prince, I made a solemn oath to myself that I would protect you till my dying breath"
"Merlin!"
The younger man ignored his reprimanding tone, steadily glancing back at Arthur. "You remember, don't you? I said, I will be your servant till the day I die. I promised that I would be loyal to you. That I would never harm you."
Arthur let out a shuddering breath. He would not cry- he would not cry-
"Arthur. My King, my brother, forgive me! I failed." such pain in Merlin's eyes, such agony, his hands gathered in front of his face, palms flat against each other. Tears spilled freely from his eyes. "She- She enchanted me to kill you, she took my one purpose in life and twisted it so much that- that" A shuddering breath "and now- and now- I am broken, and I don't know how to pick up the pieces"
Arthur could not hold back his tears any more. He didn't care about his dignity, he didn't care about his bloody kingship. If he can't even reassure his friend, his brother, what use was he? His hands slipped from the younger man's shoulders to his hands gathered in front of his face, covering them with his own.
"Merlin, listen to me, There is nothing to forgive. You hear me?" Arthur's voice was soft, trying to calm down the weeping man in front of him. "You are not alone. You believe me, don't you? You are not alone. And -" Arthur's eyes were wet, his voice was rough. He was crying, weeping freely, dignity be damned. "And if you think you are-" The King choked, trying to say the word his brother so easily called himself. "-broken, let me help you to pick up the pieces, my friend. My brother. I will be here for you. I promise."
Merlin, getting the hug he deserves.
Prompt: Mix and match from the provided lines of dialogue (must use at least two).
Fill guidelines:
—must be Gen
—canon characters, not OCs
—must have happy or at least hopeful endings (but please do try to avoid hollow platitudes if possible)
The Dialogue:
1. "I'm so, so tired."
2. "I just…I just didn't know what to do."
3. "I'm broken, and I don't know how to pick up the pieces."
4. "I…I have nightmares. Not every night, but…"
5. "I failed."
6. "Stay right there! I'm making tea."
7. "You don't have to do this alone."
8. "What do you need?"
9. "Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak; it just means you're human."
10. "Thank you for trusting me with this. I know it wasn't easy."
11. "One step at a time."
12. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
