Notes: Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy this story.
Summary: Liv and Rafael allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Rafael tapped on the door to Olivia's apartment at 10 o'clock the next morning, dressed in a blue plaid button down shirt tucked into fitted gray slacks. A black belt secured the slacks at his hips. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to the elbow and he clutched a single tulip nervously in his left hand. A jacket was flung over his right arm. His head was still spinning after Olivia's revelation the evening before and he was still wrapping his mind around the fact that he was about to take her out on a brunch date.
A few moments later, Olivia ripped open the door to gaze at her best friend with an adoring smile. "Hi, Rafa," she breathed, drinking in the sight of him. Her eyes blazed as she noted the soft stubble still adorning his handsome face.
Despite his nerves and overwhelming sense that it was all a dream, Rafael beamed back and thrust the tulip at her. "Hi, Liv."
Olivia grasped the stem of the flower, lifting it to her nose to breathe in the aromatic scent. "Thank you, I love tulips! Come in while I put this in a vase."
Rafael followed her into the apartment. "The toy box is still just decorative, huh?" he teased as he stepped around Noah's toys.
"It's a constant work in progress with this kid," Olivia joked in response as she filled a small vase with water and placed the tulip in it. She meant to tidy up Noah's toys before Rafael arrived, but she spent her time focused on her hair and makeup instead. She wanted to look and feel her best for their date. And Lucy had swept Noah off for a play date before she could scold him about putting his things away.
"You look beautiful, Liv," Rafael murmured as she walked back over to him. "You hungry?"
"Famished and thank you. You look great as well, Rafa." Olivia slipped a hand into Rafael's and led him toward the door. "Where are we going?"
Glancing at their clasped hands, Rafael met her gaze with a broad smile, pleased with the current developments. "There is a place a few blocks from here with the best eggs benedict. I figured we could walk there if that's okay. It's chilly out but sunny."
"Sounds delicious."
The pair strolled along the city streets, stealing adoring glances and smiling. As they arrived at the small restaurant, Rafael raised their clasped hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to the soft skin on the back of Olivia's hand. "Just checking that this isn't a dream," he said with a cheeky smile, his free hand pulling the entry door open for her.
Rafael greeted the owner as they walked in, and the couple was promptly escorted to a secluded table near the back. Being a Saturday close to Christmas, he called ahead to ensure they would have a nice table. Ever the gentleman, Rafael pulled out a chair for Olivia before taking his own across from her.
They had so much to talk about, but the couple remained quiet as they perused the menu and placed their orders – classic eggs benedict for them both. Rafael, still struggling with the reality of it all, was at a loss on where to start. Thankfully, Olivia had no problem taking the initiative.
"Rafa," she spoke in a hushed tone and reached for his hand. The restaurant was busy enough that she did not want their voices to carry. "I know I hurt you when you found out about Ed and I'm so sorry for that. I never would have dated him if I knew that this" – she waved at the space between them – "was possible."
Gazing at her in wonder, Rafael's thumb caressed her hand. "I won't deny that finding out the way I did broke my heart. Nor will I deny that my heart shattered completely when I thought you were engaged to him."
Olivia flinched but nodded in understanding, feeling a bit overwhelmed that she had the power to do that to him.
"But the pieces are starting to fit back together. My heart is in your hands, Liv. Pleased don't break it again," he implored.
Olivia's eyes were glistening, and she held her tongue as their food arrived. Once the server was gone, she reached her other hand across the table and slid it along his cheekbone in a gentle graze. "I have no intention of ever hurting you like that again, Rafa."
They stared at each other, bearing their souls through their eyes for several long minutes. "Thank you for giving me this chance, Rafa," Olivia finally said. "I think we'll be amazing together."
Rafael shook his head. "I should be thanking you, Liv. I've wanted this for so long, but I was too cowardly to take a chance. I'm still not sure this isn't a dream."
Laughing softly, Olivia squeezed his hand, hard. "This is definitely not a dream, sweetheart."
"Mi amor," Rafael breathed, his eyes on the verge of leaking. Who knew he was such a mush? He certainly had no idea. He just needed the right woman to bring out the romantic in him.
"Let's eat before our food gets cold, Rafa," Olivia whispered. "We'll talk more when we're full."
Fifteen minutes later, their plates nearly clean and hunger satiated, Rafael signaled for the check.
"You were right, Rafa. That was the best breakfast I've ever had."
"I would never steer you wrong, Liv."
Rafael paid the bill and left a generous cash tip on the table. He grasped Olivia's hand as they made their way out of the restaurant. "Ready for a stroll through the park?"
"I would love nothing more."
They walked the city blocks to the park in relative silence, enjoying the feeling of their hands clasped together. His hands were just as soft and strong as she imagined. The sky was partly cloudy, and the air was chilled. Their bodies gravitated toward each other as they walked, seeking warmth and comfort.
"How long have you had feelings for me, Rafa?" Olivia wondered aloud as they neared the park entrance.
Heaving a deep sigh, Rafael ran his free hand through his hair. "For as long as I can remember. I think I started falling for you the moment we met," he admitted.
Olivia's eyes widened, floored at his admission. "And you kept it to yourself that whole time?"
"At first, I thought you were way out of my league, but I still tried to impress you every chance I got. You drove me crazy, but I loved every minute of it. I tried to bury my feelings deep down since you were dating Cassidy. Then the Lewis horror happened and the last thing I thought you needed was me crushing on you," Rafael rambled through his explanation.
"And after that?" Olivia inquired.
"Well, you were focused on adopting and raising Noah, and I didn't want to get in the way of that," he flashed her a crook half smile. "I did try to ask you out a few times, but you always shot me down."
"When?" Olivia questioned, wracking her brain to figure out when she turned him down. She could not recall a single instance, unless… "You mean the times you asked me to join you for a drink after hard cases? I thought that was just an invite to unwind, not a date, Rafa."
Chuckling, he threw his free hand up in the hand. "I was trying to be subtle so the refusal wouldn't sting as much. I was never very good at this, you know. Apparently, I have no game."
"Oh, I doubt that very much. You are a chick magnet in your fancy suits," she teased. "I've seen the way women look at you."
"It's all a façade, Liv," he admitted in a hushed tone. "I'm confident in my abilities as a lawyer and dress the part, but that ego does not automatically carry over to relationships. At least not ones where my heart is on the line."
Again, Olivia was stunned by the vulnerability expressed in his admission. The man before her was an enigma and she was fascinated by him. "When was the last time you dated someone?"
"Casually? Last year, while I was trying to get you off my mind. It's been a really long time since my last serious relationship though," Rafael replied.
"I had no idea you dated someone so recently. You never brought a date to any functions." Olivia wondered what else she didn't know about her best friend turned… whatever they were at the moment. She had thought she knew him so well.
"I was harboring a secret affection for you, Liv. My dates were always short lived and decidedly casual. I was not about to introduce you or the team to someone I knew would not be around in two weeks. It was merely self-preservation."
Olivia's heart clenched knowing that his feelings for her were the reason Rafael avoided serious relationships during the time they'd known each other. How could she have not seen how he felt all that time? His eyes were always so expressive – they practically blazed with emotion and adoration now. Was she that obtuse to have missed all the signs? Did she subconsciously notice and convince herself she imagined it? Or was he just that good at masking his feelings around her? Knowing herself and Rafael, it was probably a combination.
"Well, I'm glad that we both finally pulled our heads out of our asses," Olivia stated plainly. "Now we can give us a fair chance."
"Better late than never, I guess." Stopping along the winding path, Rafael pulled Olivia to the side. "I need you to know that I'm all in with you, Liv. This cannot be something casual or just a rebound for you. My heart cannot handle that."
Olivia's glossy brown eyes gazed at him, her fingertips skimming along the scruff on his jawline. "I am long done with casual relationships, Rafa. And since I already had feelings for you while I was with Tucker, you are definitely not a rebound. If anything, Tucker was a sort of rebound as I tried to avoid my feelings you."
Rafael pulled her close, wrapping both arms around her, and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "So, are we jumping right in then?" He murmured into Olivia's ear, and she nodded. "Okay, then let me ask you this: Olivia Benson, will you be my girlfriend?"
Giggling at the nonsense of it all, she blurted, "Yes! Though maybe we should come up with something better than boyfriend/girlfriend. We're not in high school."
"Oh, I don't know. I kinda like it," Rafael chuckled. "I haven't had many opportunities to call someone my girlfriend. Then again, we don't need to get too caught up in labels as long as we both know we're in this hundred percent."
Content with that, the couple resumed walking back in the direction from which they came. "Would you like to come back to my place and warm up with some hot cocoa?"
"I would love nothing more," Rafael replied, eyes dancing. "Maybe we could make out on your couch, too?"
"So, we are back in high school then? I would love to make out with my boyfriend on my couch," Olivia said playfully. They strolled back toward Olivia's apartment, fingers intertwined and broad smiles on their rosy faces.
…..
"Mmm," Rafael hummed as pulled back from Olivia's lips. "You taste like chocolate. I could get used to this."
He looked rumpled and thoroughly kissed. Olivia decided then and there that was her favorite look of his so far. It made her wonder what he looked like after a night in bed.
"So could I," she purred, pulling him in for another kiss. She would never tire of this – kissing him, holding his hand, wrapping her arms around him. His lips were soft but firm in their deliberation and his tongue caressed hers with tender passion. In short, his kisses were all encompassing and completely dazzled her.
They soon went from seated positions on the couch to Rafael hovering above her prone form, hands exploring with abandon. Lips moved from mouths to necks, teeth nibbling and tongues tasting each other's salty skin. Soft hums and moans the soundtrack to their tender explorations.
Bordering on the desire to take things further yet wanting to savor taking this slow, Olivia and Rafael were driving each other crazy. She could feel his hardness pressing into her hip, followed by the sudden and overwhelming need to feel all of him.
"Mi amor," he breathed into Olivia's neck as her hands toyed with the opening of his pants. "I want you so bad, but I think we should wait. At least until we have enough time to make our first time together wonderful. I want to take my time and thoroughly ravage you."
A glance at the clock drew a frustrated sigh from her lips. It was nearing time to pick Noah up from school. "As much as it pains me to admit it, you're right. Though I can't say that a quickie would be a bad thing right now."
Green eyes flashing with intense heat, Rafael kissed her once more before standing up and holding out his hand to her. "We will have plenty of opportunities for quickies, I'm sure. I just want our first time to be… special. I want us to take our time in exploring each other."
Olivia accepted Rafael's help in getting up from the couch and wrapped her arms tight around him. "You really are a closet romantic, Rafa."
"As I am discovering, but only with you, Liv." She felt a loving warmth spread through her at the sincerity in his tone and smiled.
"Come on, let's go get the kid from school and you can join us for dinner."
He loved how she made it a statement instead of a question of whether he was available. She knew he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with her and Noah.
"Can we make out some more after he goes to bed?" Despite wanting to take things a little slow, he ached for more of her intoxicating kisses.
