(Ponyboy's POV)

The week after Soda and Steve came home was the happiest that I had been since Soda got his draft notice; maybe even happier than then because I knew how much we had to lose, but somehow things went our way and we got Soda and Steve back. Darry didn't work for the first few days so he could help them adjust and get settled again, but after those few days, he reluctantly had to leave them at the house during the day so he could go back to work. Two-Bit was around whenever he had free time, and I got home from school as soon as I could so I could be with Soda and Steve. I spent as much time with them as possible, and while I knew Soda would be happy about it, I was surprised to see Steve willing to spend so much time with me. I guess over a year in the jungle was enough time apart for Steve not to be irritated with me right away.

Steve spent a lot of time sleeping, apparently making up for lost hours of shut-eye since… since I don't even know when. I knew Soda was also tired, but he couldn't sleep real well. I knew he was having nightmares, but he wouldn't mention it to me. Every night after Soda went to sleep, Darry would go into Soda's room to stay with him, which I felt uneasy about. I was glad Soda had support, but knowing that my oldest brother was sleeping on the floor every night troubled me. I wanted to help them, but there wasn't a way that they'd let me help. More than once, I spotted Soda writing in the notebook that I gave him, which put me a little more at ease and made me feel like I was helping a little.

Soda got rid of his sling a few days into being back home. Darry and I weren't eager about him rushing his recovery, but Soda told us he was fine and that the sling made his shoulder hurt even more. I wasn't sure either me or Darry really believed him, but we didn't say much about it. Steve tried to walk around without any kind of help, but he still had to use crutches if he walked more than a few steps, and he always looked like he was in pain. Soda mentioned something about using a cane, but one glare from Steve ended that conversation immediately.

"Come on Soda, I wanna talk with the boss before he leaves for the day!" Steve shouted towards Soda's room, bringing me back to the present.

Whenever they felt up to it, Soda and Steve went to the DX either to talk with their former boss or hang out with Two-Bit. All of us told Steve he should take some time off and just relax, but for some reason, he was more eager to go to the gas station than even Soda. I wasn't sure why Steve wanted to visit the DX so often, because as far as I knew, he wasn't even working there– he was just visiting.

"I'm comin', hold on a second!" Soda yelled from his room.

Steve was standing impatiently by the front door, balancing with his crutches. "Why do you go to the DX every day?" I asked. He was in as good of a mood as I'd ever seen him, but I couldn't help but still feel some hesitation when I wanted to talk to him directly. I still always felt like he would be annoyed just by me talking. Old habits die hard, I guess. "You ain't workin' yet, are you?"

"No, boss said I can't until I can get around better." I could hear the irritation in his voice, but I also knew it wasn't directed at me. "At least he said he'd bring both of us back when we're ready."

I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. "That's good news."

I was thrilled to hear that both Soda and Steve had a job again whenever they wanted to start, and I was even happier to hear their boss would wait for them to feel better before starting. Darry somehow had been able to pay the bills while Soda and Steve were in Vietnam, but I wasn't sure how he managed it, especially since he worked a little less than he had just a couple years ago. However, with two more people living in our house now, I wasn't sure how much money we'd have to spare. Darry wouldn't let me hear about our finances though, and he reassured me that he'd always figure it out. I was worried about money anyway, but I was also comforted by the fact the people from the state haven't bothered us since the whole thing with Bob's murder.

Soda came hobbling in the room. Even though he was healing fine, it was obvious he still had pain just when he moved around. Still, he kept a brave face and was up for almost anything. Darry told him no roughhousing until his ribs and shoulder healed, though.

"We're takin' Steve's car, so you're not gonna have a ride here," Soda explained to me. He grabbed the car keys off the coffee table, grimacing as he bent down. I noticed that even though he wasn't using a sling anymore, he still tended to use his left arm to do most things, including picking up the car keys.

I shrugged. Sure, I was 16 and able to drive, but I rarely did, even though we had Steve's car parked at our house for over a year. When I drove, it was only in our truck and Darry was almost always with me. "I didn't think I'd have a ride anyway. I never drove Steve's car; only Darry did when the truck had to get fixed. Darry let me help change the oil in Steve's car though." Then I couldn't stifle a laugh as a memory popped into my mind. "He wouldn't even let Two-Bit touch it, let alone drive it."

I saw Steve grin, but he didn't say anything. It didn't matter, I knew he was grateful.

"We won't be gone long," Soda said as he ruffled my hair. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent on his pale skin.

I nodded. "Okay. I'll make dinner." The change in my tone was even audible to me.

Every time Soda left, I tried not to be disappointed, but it was hard. I spent around a year and a half without seeing my brother, and for part of that time I thought he was dead, so all I wanted to do was spend time with him. I constantly had to remind myself that he was an adult and he couldn't spend all of his free time hanging out with his kid brother at home.

"You takin' requests?" Steve quipped. I knew he was trying to elevate my mood, and I was grateful for it.

I rolled my eyes. "No, if you don't like my cookin' then you can cook for yourself."

Steve snorted. As Soda held the door open, Steve slowly made his way outside.

"See you later, Pony," Soda said as he left me alone in the house.


After dinner, Darry and I did the dishes while Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit played cards. For a while, I just listened to the conversation the other guys were having, which quickly turned into shouts and laughter erupting from the table. I was sure at least one of them was cheating, but I don't think any of them really cared; they were just happy to be playing cards together.

Halfway through washing the dishes, I glanced up at Darry. The dark circles under his eyes reminded me of Soda's. He yawned, which made him look even more tired, and older. On top of his lack of sleep since Soda and Steve returned, he also had been back at work for a few days, which added another layer of exhaustion. He had to be drained, and I had to help him.

"Hey Darry?" I waited until he looked at me to continue. It took a couple seconds, almost like he wasn't fully aware that I was talking to him, but he eventually met my gaze. "Why don't I finish the dishes and you can go get some sleep? I can stay with Soda tonight."

I could tell he was conflicted. I knew he desperately wanted and needed rest, but his protectiveness of his brothers, in this case especially Soda, was going to make him an insomniac. He seemed to internally debate for a moment, then shook his head. "It's alright, Pone. I'm fine."

I set the dishes down in the sink and stared at him. "It hasn't been all that long since you had that bad fall. Sleepin' on the floor ain't helpin' your back. The doctor said it might take a while to fully heal."

"What's wrong with your back?" Soda suddenly asked from behind Darry.

Darry whipped around to look at our brother. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Soda gave him a mild glare. "I just heard Pony say somethin' about a doctor and your back. What happened?" There was silence for a moment, but then Soda's eyes widened a bit. "Is that why you had to take time off of work?"

How did he know about that? After we found out Soda was alive, Darry told me that we should keep the accident from Soda because he had enough to worry about. He said his back was fine anyways, even though I didn't believe him entirely. Especially since I've seen him grimace when he didn't think I was looking.

"I fell off the ladder at work… ended up in the hospital for a few hours. Then I had to stay home for a bit," Darry explained nonchalantly. "It's okay, little buddy. I'm fine."

Soda's eyes widened. I knew he was worrying about our older brother, but I also knew Darry would hate that. "At least let me finish the dishes, Darry," I said as I moved to get in his way. He didn't argue, and he and Soda left the room speaking quickly and quietly.


I was the last one to go to sleep that night. Steve took his normal spot on the couch, Two-Bit went home for the night, and half an hour after Soda went to bed, Darry went into Soda's room to sleep on the floor again. I grabbed a pillow and blanket from my room and went to relieve Darry of his brotherly duties for the night. I knew Soda didn't want me to be around when he had nightmares, but I cared more about helping him than allowing his pride and ego get in the way.

I quietly walked into the dark room and the first thing I noticed was that Soda was curled up almost in a ball in his bed. He was twitching a little, and next to him, Darry was sitting on the floor, whispering soothing words to Soda. I approached Darry, who noticed me immediately.

"Hey Pone, what are you doing up?" Darry asked quietly. On top of looking exhausted, he was concerned.

"Go get some sleep Darry," I said. I surprised myself, realizing that I was telling Darry what to do for a change. I knew if I asked nicely, there wouldn't be a chance that he'd listen. "I'll watch him. I'll stay with Soda."

Darry was so conflicted, that he almost looked like he was in pain. He looked at Soda, who was momentarily resting peacefully, and then he looked back at me. "It's okay, Pone. I got it taken care of. Go to bed, kiddo."

I shook my head and dropped the pillow and blanket I brought with me. "We're brothers Darry. Let me help you… let me help both of you." I could tell I was started to convince him, so I didn't let up. "He helped me with my nightmares, I can help him with his. And you need to sleep one of these days."

He looked at Soda again, considering his options. "I don't know, Pone. I'm not sure he wants anyone else to know how he reacts. I'm not sure if I want you in here… what if it makes it even harder for you to get some sleep?"

I sighed. "I'll be fine, Darry. I ain't dumb… I know some of the things that he might be dealin' with, even if I wasn't fighting with him in Vietnam. Even though there's things I'm sure he won't want to tell us, I can still be there for him. Just being there for him is the most important thing." I knew I was speaking from firsthand experience, and I was sure Darry knew it too. "Please Darry, let me help."

Darry thought for a moment, then let out a reluctant sigh. "Alright kiddo." I reached my hand towards him, offering to help him get to his feet. He stood up, wincing a little, and picked his pillow up off the floor. After looking down at Soda one more time, he looked back at me and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "If either of you need anything, come get me."

I nodded. "You got it. Now get some sleep Dar." He grinned and left to finally get the rest he needed.

It wasn't long after I got settled on the floor that I heard noises coming from Soda's bed. I sat up and saw Soda's arms wrapped around his chest as he was shaking. The painful expression on his face made my heart feel like it was breaking.

"Shhh Soda, it's alright. You're home. You're safe," I whispered.

He froze in place for a moment, then his legs started twitching. A few seconds later, Soda was muttering words in his sleep. I thought I could identify some of the words; some of the things he said were names, mostly Steve. When I suddenly heard him say my name, I cautiously reached forward to put my hand on his arm. He recoiled, and I withdrew my hand before he could retaliate, not that I would hold it against him if he did.

A couple days before, I noticed a bruise on Darry's jaw, but when I asked him about it, he told me it was nothing and to drop it. Soda was in the room when the conversation took place and I noticed the guilt written on his face. It only took a moment before I put the pieces together; Soda must've accidently hit Darry the night before. I knew Darry didn't care about it, but I also knew Soda felt horrible about it.

Still asleep, Soda swung his arm, but I moved fast enough so he missed me entirely. Then his body started shaking again and he started breathing real fast and loud.

"Soda, it's me, Ponyboy," I tried to soothe him again. "You're okay."

As I talked, he seemed to calm down a little. His breathing was still rapid, but he wasn't shaking as bad. I risked touching his arm again, and this time, he didn't even flinch. "Shhh, it's okay Soda."

He was muttering again, and I strained to hear him. "No… Steve, no." His voice sounded like he was in pain, and there wasn't a way for me to know if that was truly the case, which made me worry even more. "Pony… Darry."

I gently rubbed his arm, just like both of my brothers have done with me when I've been worked up. "I'm right here Soda, and Darry's next door." He seemed to relax a little, so I ran my fingers through his hair. "We ain't gonna let anything happen to you."

I spent the first hour or two comforting Soda from the uncomfortable floor, but after a while, I decided to try to calm him down like he would always calm me down. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and slowly laid down on the bed next to him. I whispered soothing words as I was moving in an attempt not to startle him. He had already tried to punch me once while he was sleeping, and even though I didn't care if he accidently hit me, I figured things would go smoother if he didn't react negatively at all.

Once I was next to Soda, I reached across and put my arm around him. After a mild start, his breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking. I smiled, and after making sure Soda was sleeping soundly, I let myself drift off