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Part 2


Yato didn't wake until late afternoon. That was more than enough time for Yukine to struggle to tamp down his emotions while explaining what had happened. Hiyori had shown up first thing with Kofuku and Daikoku, since she was out of school for the weekend. Yukine could barely meet her eyes as he mumbled his story, even though it didn't seem to occur to her that this was his fault. Kofuku and Daikoku wandered in and out—much to Bishamon's chagrin, although Yukine hadn't asked about all the strange noises throughout the mansion or what mischief and bad luck Kofuku was spreading around—but Hiyori pulled up a chair beside Yukine's and didn't budge. Yukine was grateful for her company, although her concern and attempts to pull him into conversation somehow made him feel worse.

More than once, he found himself glancing back at the doorway apprehensively, as if his nightmare might spring to life. He knew it was silly, but he couldn't quite shake the feeling. The possibilities of death and reincarnation and ugly alternate futures that danced through his head put him on edge, and it didn't help that Yato slept like the dead through all of it.

Finally, long after Kofuku and Daikoku had returned bearing lunch and coaxed Yukine and Hiyori into eating before disappearing again to check on the shop, Yato heaved a soft breath like a shuddering sigh and twitched beneath the covers. Yukine sat up straight, his glazed eyes snapping away from the ceiling. Yato's eyes fluttered open, and Yukine elbowed Hiyori urgently. She started awake from a light doze and jumped to her feet to lean over the bed.

"Yato?" she asked. "Yato, how are you feeling?"

Yato blinked at her blearily and then yawned. "I'm…fine?" he mumbled. "What…?"

"You're at Bishamon's," Hiyori said. "She helped rescue you last night. Do you remember what happened?"

Yato squinted at her doubtfully. "Bishamon? Why would that psycho bitch–?"

"Because I asked her to," Yukine snapped. At Yato's look, he added, "What? You sure weren't saving yourself. Someone had to do it."

"Hm… Well, I'm fine now. We can probably go."

"Don't you think you should rest a little first?" Hiyori said. It wasn't quite a question. "It sounds like you were really torn up."

Yato pushed the covers back and swung his legs out of bed for the sake of being contrary, but immediately winced and hissed in pain. Hiyori huffed out an impatient breath and pushed him back down.

"I'm fine," he insisted, even though he'd gone sheet-white again.

"Stay down. You're injured all over. Bishamon won't mind you resting here for a little while longer."

"Wanna bet?"

"She won't mind if you keep your big mouth shut and don't do your best to drive her insane in her own home. Behave yourself."

"What were you thinking?" Yukine burst out. He'd lost all patience with the small talk and banter. As if any of that mattered when Yato had just about died. Would have died if Yukine had given up searching one street sooner or walked the other direction or been paying a little less attention. "Why were you wandering out by yourself in the middle of a storm?"

Yato blinked at him with large eyes, and Yukine saw no condemnation there but imagined it lurking underneath nonetheless. But Yato did not point out that it was Yukine's fault.

"I had to get home, didn't I?" he said mildly. "The job took longer than I thought, and by then it was dark."

Yukine mentally amended the statement, and it did not make him feel any better: 'The job took longer than I thought because you refused to come and help me, and by then it was dark and I had to walk through the storm alone because you weren't there to protect me.'

"Why didn't you just teleport?" Hiyori asked. "It would have saved a lot of trouble."

Yato made a face. "Well, I didn't know it was storming at first. I thought a walk back home would be nice. Don't look at me like that—I've survived hundreds of nighttime walks all by myself. Anyway, I didn't realize how crazy that storm was. I would've teleported or at least waited it out in a nearby shrine, but there was some girl the ayakashi were hassling and she wasn't looking good." He heaved a dramatic sigh. "Frankly not my business, but I knew Yukine would be angry if I didn't help her, and he was already pissed enough."

Yukine pressed his lips into a tight line. He could detect no accusation in Yato's voice, but it itched under his skin. One more reason he had inadvertently maneuvered Yato into this dangerous position.

"Without Yukine?" Hiyori cried in exasperation. "How were you going to fight off ayakashi without a shinki?"

Yato sniffed. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve… But I underestimated how many were lurking around. That was a real doozy of a storm. I think the kid made it back inside, though. And I held my own for a while!"

"You are an absolute idiot," Yukine said icily. "It was stupid to take on ayakashi by yourself. And you wouldn't even call me so that I could help."

Yato wrinkled his nose. "I wasn't really in any condition to fight by then. I would've just blighted you and brought you down with me. It would have been smarter to run."

Yukine's eyes blazed. "You really thought I'd–?"

"How did you even find me, anyway?"

"…You gave me the address before you left."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I did. But I wasn't there."

"No, you weren't. I wandered around until I found you. Mind you, I almost gave up and went home."

Yato's eyes narrowed, and his voice lost its humor. "Seems a little hypocritical to fuss at me when you did the same thing. You shouldn't go wandering off into storms by yourself. Even a borderline can only do so much."

Yukine scoffed. He wasn't in the mood to be lectured. "I wouldn't have to, if you weren't always so stupid."

He could feel the acid clawing up his throat, burning like venom. He would never spill out the guilt, the fear, the apology curdling in the pit of his stomach, but he knew all too well how to hold on to them so tightly that they alchemized into anger. He knew how easy it would be to turn his panic and pain and regret into vitriol and spit it back into Yato's face, and he knew how easy it would be to slip back into corruption if he gave in. Yato was an idiot—the keychain discussion was far from over—but he didn't deserve the brunt of Yukine's self-loathing.

Yukine turned on his heel and stalked across the room before he could say something he might regret later. "I'll let Kofuku and Daikoku know you finally woke up."

As he stomped into the hallway, he heard Hiyori telling Yato, "He was really worried about you, you know."

Yukine set off in a huff. He was glad Yato had woken up, but that didn't mean he was necessarily in the mood to actually deal with him just yet.

He ran into Kazuma first. "Yato's awake," he said without preamble. "Are Kofuku and Daikoku still hanging around somewhere?"

"Oh?" Kazuma looked off down the hall and muttered, "I'd better let Veena know. And we should probably change his bandages. I think Kofuku is still hanging around the kitchen, unless Daikoku has managed to coax her out. She has been an absolute terror today… I have a list of things we need to fix once she leaves."

"I believe it. I'll go find her."

Kazuma looked back at Yukine. "Don't worry too much. Yato will be fine, but he needs to be able to recover without too much stress."

"He's awake," Yukine muttered. "Why would I worry now?"

Kazuma gave him a pointed look, but he wasn't in the mood. Waving tersely, Yukine headed back down the hall.

He found Kofuku in the process of destroying Bishamon's kitchen while shinki looked on in despair and Daikoku floated the idea of going home to wait for news. Her face lit up when Yukine told them Yato had just woken up, and even Daikoku seemed relieved.

Yukine trailed along behind them as they hurried off to Yato's borrowed room. He hovered along the far wall while they chattered excitedly with Yato and Hiyori, and watched as Kazuma and Bishamon redressed Yato's wounds. He listened while Yato and Bishamon sniped back and forth, and even muttered a thank you when she stormed out. He slipped out after her and wandered the halls, leaving Hiyori to entertain Yato, and then followed everyone back home to Kofuku's around dinner time. He sulked along the edges of the room while Hiyori lectured Yato about getting rest and Daikoku insisted he eat more dinner and Kofuku bounced around excitedly.

And that night, he dreamed again of a small boy wearing Yato's face.


The next afternoon, Yato received a phone call.

"We've got a job!" he whooped.

"Absolutely not," Yukine said. "You still look like a mummy. Didn't Hiyori tell you to rest? She would tell you to get back in bed if she was here right now."

"But I can't afford to pass up jobs," Yato whined.

"Should've thought of that before playing with ayakashi," Yukine said unsympathetically.

"It's just some little old lady who wants help walking her dog. How hard could it be?"

"You don't really know much about dogs, do you?"

"And I can give her a keychain! I know you don't like them, but I already bought them so we might as well use them up."

The keychain was the least of Yukine's concerns for once, but Yato had started to bounce off the walls and was dead set on taking the job. A few more minutes of arguing couldn't dissuade him.

"I'm going!" he declared. "Do you want to come?"

Yukine winced. He wondered if Yato had phrased it that way instead of telling him to come along because he had refused to go last time. He tried not to think about it. Whatever his feelings regarding the matter, they were too ugly to be examined right now.

"Yeah, whatever," he grumbled. "But you get to tell Hiyori it's your fault when she yells at you for not resting."

"I'm tired of resting!" Yato said. "I've rested a ton. Let's do this!"

Yukine did not think the idiot had rested nearly enough, but Yato snatched up a keychain from the pile on the table, uncovered the speaker of his phone, and grabbed Yukine's arm to teleport them away.

The dog in question turned out to be quite a bit larger and more hyperactive than Yato might have had in mind, and it proceeded to drag them back and forth across town. Yukine quickly took the leash, catching Yato's winces. No need to pull the idiot's arm out of its socket just yet. The last thing they needed was to start ripping his injuries back open.

"I think she liked the keychain!" Yato said.

Yukine tried to glare, but stumbled after the dog in the opposite direction as it noticed a particularly interesting tree. "I think she was just being nice."

"I think it went over well."

"Whatever."

Yukine's arms felt like jelly by the time they'd walked the beast twice around the neighborhood and brought it back to its owner. He didn't know why anyone so elderly and with limited mobility would want to take on such a big and energetic pet. Personally, he would have chosen a cat.

The lady thanked them profusely and forked over five yen, and Yukine immediately nixed Yato's idea to go out for ice cream. Yato had had his fun, and now it was time to go back home and rest again.

As they shuffled to the door, arguing over whether or not Yato belonged in bed, a small dark-haired boy appeared at the other end of the hall. Yukine started, his heart jumping into his throat.

"You okay?" Yato asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Yukine swallowed hard. The boy had brown eyes, not blue. Yato was standing right next to him.

"Y-yeah," he stammered. "Fine."

Yato eyed him skeptically. "Do you want to tell me what's really going on? It feels like a big enough deal."

Yukine straightened up and clamped down tight on his feelings. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Yato rolled his eyes. Yukine ignored him.

"Oh, I see you've met my grandson," the elderly lady said. "Come along, dear. Say goodbye to these nice young men and come get a snack."

Yukine stayed quiet on the way home, doing his best to think of nothing at all. Thankfully, Hiyori arrived soon after to help him keep Yato in bed. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Yato, and did his best to ignore him throughout the rest of the day and dinner.

Even though he'd done everything he could to distance himself from Yato, he still dreamed of a small boy with wide blue eyes that night. Even in his dreams, it felt like the mournful tolling of a death knell, the warning of a future that could be. When he awoke with a start, the futon across the room was empty.

He sat up, heart pounding. The blankets were thrown back and rumpled. Yato was gone. Maybe he had just gone to get a glass of water. Or maybe…

Yukine scrambled out of bed and tiptoed across the room and down the stairs, looking for any sign of the missing god.

"Yato?" he hissed as loudly as he dared. Only silence echoed back, along with the muffled sound of Daikoku's snoring.

The kitchen was empty. Yukine hesitated at the front door before pushing it open and creeping outside. What was Yato doing? He had to be out here somewhere if he wasn't inside. Hadn't he learned his lesson about wandering off by himself in the dark? Yukine tried to hold on to the anger, because it was easier than worrying about all the other possibilities.

"Yato!" he hissed again. "Where are you?"

The street was dark and empty. Anything could be lurking in the shadows. Something moved in his peripheral vision and he nearly jumped out of his skin, but it was only a stray cat prowling the edges of the lawn.

"Geez," he managed, trying to calm his racing heart. "You nearly scared the life out of me."

The cat's eyes shone bright and unimpressed from the shadows. It flicked its tail and sauntered off.

"What are you doing up?" floated a voice from above. "It's dark out."

Yukine craned his neck and spotted Yato peering over the edge of the roof.

"Looking for you!" he snapped. "What in the world are you doing? Haven't you learned your lesson about wandering around at night?"

"Couldn't sleep," Yato said, sounding more amused than he had any right to be. "I haven't been roaming anywhere—I've been here the whole time."

Yukine kicked himself for not thinking to check out the window and saving himself all this trouble. Stupid.

"Well, stop that," he said. "You're going to fall off and break your neck. Go sleep inside like a normal person."

Yato snorted loudly and hopped off the edge of the roof, plummeting several feet down and landing on his feet. Yukine made a small sound of surprise in the back of his throat and took an aborted step forward.

"Ta-da!" Yato said cheerfully, although he winced and rubbed at his side. "All good. It'll take more than a lousy old roof to kill me!"

"You idiot," Yukine ground out, turning on his heel and storming back inside.

"That's not very nice," Yato said, oblivious to his rising irritation. "Anyway, you good? You're feeling kind of unsettled."

"I am not!" Yukine snarled. He was keeping his emotions perfectly under control and not hurting Yato at all. Maybe he was a little annoyed, but that was about it and who could blame him?

"Uh-huh…"

"Just go to sleep."

Yato shrugged and did not protest further. He limped up the stairs, and Yukine cast furtive glances over his shoulder to check how stiffly he moved and how much he favored one leg over the other. Perhaps not keen on incurring any more of Yukine's wrath tonight, Yato obediently stretched out on his futon even though his eyes stayed open and he did not sleep.

It took Yukine a long time to fall asleep too. Although the fear had been successfully smothered, his annoyance kept him up as he sulked and ran himself around in angry circles. When he did fall asleep, he dreamed again of the child wearing Yato's face, blood spattered on the wall behind him.

He woke crying, with Yato crouched beside him and the warning knells blaring in his ears.

"What's wrong?" Yato asked, positively petting him and offering a sleeve to dry his tears.

"N-nothing."

"What did you dream of?"

Yukine stared at a spot on the floor near Yato's foot and said, "I don't remember."


"That's enough for today," Yukine said as they sliced neatly through an ayakashi.

"But I haven't hit my quota yet," Yato said.

"You're still banged up. We can worry about hitting quotas next week."

Yato rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. It's been like a week already! I don't still need to be in bed. I was doing way more after my misadventures in Yomi, and you weren't complaining then."

While this was true, it hardly changed Yukine's feelings on the matter. Although Yato was healing up nicely, he still walked with a bit of a limp if he'd been standing too long and occasionally made awkward sword strokes to accommodate an injured arm. Yukine didn't see the point in taking any chances. They had already killed some twenty ayakashi today. This might normally be a paltry amount, but Yukine didn't want to push Yato too hard just yet.

"I said we're taking a break," he said irritably. "Let's go home."

"I really think–"

"Smells nice," hissed a voice from behind them.

"Look out!" Yukine cried.

Yato whipped around, already raising his blades. He stumbled over nothing—his injuries acting up despite his insistence that he was perfectly fine?—but dragged one blade through the lunging ayakashi in a messy arc. It screeched and exploded before Yukine could get a good look at it.

"Ow," Yato muttered under his breath. "Yukine."

"Are you okay?" Yukine asked as he materialized beside him. He looked Yato over. "Did it get you? We are definitely going home now."

"I'm fine," Yato grumbled. "Just a little."

A new patch of blight stained his forearm, just below where he'd pushed his sleeves up earlier. Yukine's pulse ticked upwards.

"Let's go get that cleansed right now."

"Do you want to tell me what's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been really freaked out and on edge. I mean, it was just one lousy ayakashi, and the blight is minor."

Yukine scowled. "I'm not freaked out."

"Uh-huh…"

"Come on."

Yato crossed his arms over his chest and didn't budge. "Not until you tell me what's going on with you."

Yukine groaned. Why must Yato be such a pain?

"Nothing is going on with me."

"Uh-huh," Yato said again. "You're freaking out over small things, having nightmares, barely letting me out of bed, and have been snappish and more or less ignoring me for a week now. Are you still mad about the keychains?"

"The key…? Don't be ridiculous. You're imagining things. Just come on."

The patch of blight was ugly and dark on Yato's arm, and Yukine shifted from foot to foot anxiously. He would feel better when it was gone.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," Yato said stubbornly.

"Nothing is wrong! Let's go cleanse your blight."

"I'm not going to cleanse it until you tell me what's wrong," Yato said. Yukine could scream with frustration, and Yato raised an eyebrow at him. "It's hardly a big deal. It's pretty minor."

"Not a big deal! You're so stupid."

"I'm sure I am, but stupid for what, exactly?"

"We should cleanse your blight right away."

Yato blew out a breath. "What are you so freaked out about? You've been driving me crazy all week, and you've barely spoken to me at all. It definitely seems like you're angry with me."

Yukine vibrated with tension, with the need to grab Yato and drag him to a purification spring right away. He could almost see the ghostly shadows of blight long cleansed lurking under the surface of Yato's skin, poised to eat him up again.

"I've been having some weird dreams, that's all. Can we go now?"

Yato didn't move. "What are your dreams about?"

Yukine did not want to talk about those, but the alarm bells were rising to a fevered pitch in his head. "I have dreams that I wake up and you're gone, and then there's a child wearing your face instead." At Yato's blank look, he huffed out a breath and added, "Reincarnation?"

"Reincarnation?" Yato repeated, puzzled. He smiled. "Don't worry! I won't reincarnate. I'm not an important enough god for that."

Yukine saw red. "I know that! But I thought you were going to die! You wouldn't use me and I couldn't help, and you were going to die, and it was going to be my fault because I wouldn't come with you on your stupid job because I was mad about some stupid keychains. You almost died, Yato. Can we please go cleanse your blight now?"

The smile dropped off Yato's face. "Oh, Yukine," he said. "It wasn't your fault."

"Does it matter?" Yukine demanded. "Can we go?"

"Of course it does." Yato stepped forward and took Yukine's face in his hands, forcing the shinki to meet his eyes. His fingers were cool and clammy against Yukine's feverish skin. "We had no way of knowing what would happen. It was a simple enough job. You don't have to come with me everywhere, you know. And you don't. I'm off on my own all the time and take care of myself just fine. I just got unlucky.

"And you did help, didn't you? You held off the ayakashi with your borderlines and went to Bishamon for help, even though you really should have run away. That was quick thinking. You saved me, Yukine. I wouldn't have made it without you. You protected me just like you promised."

Yukine's eyes filled with tears. He strained to keep them open until they burned, refusing to blink and free the tears to run down his face.

"I thought you were going to die," he mumbled again.

"But I didn't," Yato said gently.

"But you could have. You could."

"I'll have you know that I'm very hard to kill, especially with you looking after me. We'll take care of each other just like always and keep going forward. There's no point obsessing over what-ifs and could-have-beens. That's the past, not the future. An almost future is just a future of the past, one that could have happened once but didn't. I could have died, and I didn't."

"But–"

"Of course I could someday. We all could. We all will, eventually. That's a given. But that's another what-if future for another day. Let's not fuss over it until we have to. There will be time enough for mourning later if anything bad does happen. Let's be happy now. It's a beautiful day to be alive, Yukine. Let's not waste it on what-ifs."

Yukine sniffed and slid his gaze to the side. "Okay," he mumbled. "Can we cleanse your blight now?"

"Of course!" Yato said, releasing Yukine and following along beside him with a bounce in his step to mask the limp. "It stings something terrible. Hey, I know what will cheer you up!"

Yukine narrowed his eyes. "It doesn't have to do with those stupid keychains, does it?"

"You know?"

"Know what?"

Yato grinned and whipped something out of his pocket. It appeared to be a miniature model of Yukine attached to a metal loop.

"I had keychains made of you too!"

"You… You idiot! Where did you get the money for that, huh?"

Yato cackled and danced a step farther away, out of easy hitting range. Yukine tried to swipe the offending keychain out of his hand, but didn't whack him.

In truth, as annoying as the keychains were, he was just glad Yato was here to annoy him with them. One day, he might not be. One day, he might die or disappear for good or reincarnate if he won more believers. That possibility still paralyzed Yukine with fear, and maybe it would for some time.

But now that Yato had mentioned it, it did seem silly to throw away all the happy days in between out of fear of a fate that might happen one day. He would do his best to set those fears aside and stop obsessing over the blue-eyed children of possibility.

Honestly, Yato was enough of a child already.