Chaper 2
TW- implication of dubious consent
Bright lights shining into her eyes made the back of her skull sore. She squeezed her eyes shut to protect them. Feeling her eyes shut too tightly she softens in the battle against the light, and her head hurts. Had she had a concussion before? She tries to remember hitting her head. She had slipped on a wet wooden staircase in Renee's apartment. But that wasn't now, was it?
She wasn't in an apartment now. The ceiling was bright, asylum white from that glimpse. Where was she? Someone was asking her a question. God, their voice was so attractive. Even through the deep discomfort she felt- it was like honey in hot tea on a cold autumn day, played like music in her mind, and seeped into her bones. She didn't want to open her eyes though, the light was too bright. She just wanted to listen to the timbers and melodies of the voice, like a cellist playing for her, the notes were rich and just slightly deep.
Her heart was thumping in her head though and she lifted her hands to… She stopped trying to lift. Where were her hands? She couldn't move or feel anything below her sore skull.
Anxiety and panic bubbled in her chest. She began to listen to the words the voice was saying.
"...can hear me… hospital… car accident… very lucky… paralytic… prevent injury… open your eyes if you can hear me." the words went in and out of focus. The in-betweens felt like a melody. She tried to open her right eye to no avail, but the words came clearer now.
"Ms. Swan, if you can hear me, don't be frightened. You are in Forks hospital at the ICU." The voice paused again and continued slower, "You were in a car accident. The on-site medics administered a local paralytic to prevent you from injuring yourself. Please open your eyes if you can hear me."
When she could muster it, her right eye opened enough to meet dark honeyed auburn irises. It was so strange to see this now, as a religious experience. He looked a bit like an angel with the hospital lights illuminating his air like a halo. Bella was not one to dwell on the supernatural.
"Ms. Swan, take some slow breaths." She felt small and useless in her own skin now. Her tongue felt a little weary, and her mouth stale from disuse. She blinked both eyes and tried to focus on breathing slower and more gently, suddenly aware that she had been nearly hyperventilating. Things suddenly sharpened into focus.
What were the odds that she would see the same man from the bookstore already? Could it be him again so soon? He wasn't wearing white when she saw him earlier if it was him she saw. She felt woozy and her eyes shut again. It wasn't totally unreasonable in a sparsely populated area that there were very few doctors, but it still felt totally strange. Maybe now wasn't the best time to ask too many questions.
"Your father is here in the waiting room. We can let him in as soon as you're ready. Right now you're in no state for visitors, we need to make sure you're stable and okay. Do you understand that?" Bella is able to muster a tiny head nod. Victory! She has some movement in her neck and feels her jaw gaining some strength as she moves her mouth and tongue about as delicately as she can to regain the feeling. Her eyelids still feel heavy but this is important. She can rest more soon.
"I just need to know if you feel safe with Charlie." Bella blinks and feels puzzled. What kind of question is that after a car accident? She nods twice gently and little nods. She licks her lips to softly manage a, "yes." to reply.
The distracting doctor nods. She still feels pulled to him but not the same type of intensity that she felt last time, if it was him at the bookstore. This is different. This time she feels utterly secure and need to do her best to answer anything he asks. It feels strangely like trust. Maybe it's the white coat, maybe it's the cool timber of his voice that helps her head feel soothed.
"That's very good." He's smiling as he says this and Bella knows she has a concussion because his teeth sparkle. Is he a crest white strips model part-time? They don't have an unnatural glow or whiteness of bleaching, just the sight of them lure her in.
The doctor continues, "We found evidence of possible abuse, and wanted to make sure that you have a safe place to stay." Her eyes are open now. It's half-truths. She feels abused but it was a two-way street. She was an adult and not a victim. That doesn't feel like what she should say right now. Her memory goes back to the unpleasant night for a moment. She doesn't want to be playing these hurtful games. She's trying to be fun, cool, loose, and it's getting stressful. She knows Evan is cheating and she's trying to entertain him and let him exploit her instead. It's beyond repulsive and she remembers the physical hurt and the emotional suffering she is putting herself through by being here- why can't she say no? She's dwelling and all the while she hasn't replied to the doctor's kind gaze and gently-put statement.
"It's over… I'm away from there." She manages in a dry and painful answer. That's the shortest answer she can give. His face is serious but calm. He looks at her with care, as if unsure of what to say at the moment. Bella feels drowsy in his presence or from waking up or from the injuries but she feels tingling in her fingertips and she tries to point at the little table with a cup and pitcher in the room to her right.
"Water?" She manages. She hopes he doesn't mind her manners being less than stellar at the moment. He nods and grabs ice chips from the pitcher and puts a few in the cup. She's parched but it's better than nothing and she knows better than to argue when you can barely move.
He carefully tips the cup to her lips to give her a chip. She looks at his face and his expression is somewhere between tense and disappointed. Or maybe resentment. She feels uneasy at the moment from it and looks away from his face as she takes an ice chip in her mouth.
"Understood. In a few minutes, we can let the chief in here. He doesn't need to know about anything we discussed here unless you want him to know."
Bella carefully nods as she turns the tiny ice cube in her mouth and soon swallows the smallest piece. The doctor is writing notes in her chart as she does.
She has to ask, "Did I see you at the bookstore in Port Angeles today?" It's sort of a stupid question, and barely answers anything she wants most to know.
He gives a small wry smile without missing a beat. "Yes, and the unfortunate timing you had, I'm sure. The staff can be more pleasant depending on the weeknight. Ed is young."
She's not sure what that means in this context, and her brain is a little fuzzy still. Maybe he's not a real doctor. Bella huffs at the absurdity of her own thoughts. The Doctor sighs before continuing.
"But you did have lucky timing on your unfortunate accident. I had stopped on my way home to pick up groceries and found your car in a tree on my way back and we got an ambulance very quickly. One car accidents aren't always so quickly reported or tended to." He looks at the floor as he says this, face placid and expressionless.
Bella took in the doctor's words. She wasn't the best driver on a sunny day, and the old truck's front wheel drive was less complicated but harder to drive, and it's not like she got a lot of practice when taking the subway most of the year. It had been utterly stupid of her to lose focus on the way home.
"Who… are you?" Another question that would likely be unsatisfying, but Bella had to know what she could while she had this moment. It felt precious. Did doctors always see patients in the ICU? Was he doing so just because he found her on the side of the road? Why was he avoiding holding her gaze? Bella's stomach flipped.
"Dr. Cullen." He paused and turned to the door before glancing back in her direction. "Why don't I bring the Chief in for now and then we can let you rest and recuperate. It seems like you have a concussion and a few fractures and contusions. Could have been much worse." Bella suddenly took note of the sheet covering her body and panicked. She had no great plans to run marathons any time soon but hated the idea of being incapacitated at all, even for a short period of time.
Bella watched Dr. Cullen leave, and felt so exhausted. He seemed a bit cold and terse in his actions
Charlie walked in and he asked how she was feeling and she didn't hold in the sigh.
"I feel like I was in a car accident."
Charlie's smile was sad and small. "At least you haven't lost your terrible sense of humor." Bella felt a small laugh playing at the edges of her lips and wondered a little about the doctor. Her thoughts traveled back home to Renee and Jacob. Depending on how long it had been they were probably worried.
"Where's my phone?" She paused to think, "And how long have I been out?"
In another room, Carlisle swore quietly. Damn his thirst!
Carlisle wished no ill-will upon the girl and found it hard to let himself get too comfortable around her. He could smell her approaching the little shop and with abject horror, he felt like he was suffocating when she opened the door and walked inside. He knew the moment he smelled her - La Tua Cantante, no blood had ever smelled so sweet to him. Two hundred years of being desensitized to human blood felt like they had vanished in an instant. He felt his chest hitch as he held his breath, and extremely aware of her presence.
He felt split with heartsick and thirst, like a hunter and a schoolboy in one. His finger had barely grazed hers and his hand felt electrified. The way she looked at him he was sure she couldn't have known what he was feeling. She held his gaze, practically glowing and blushing, her arms full of books. Her brown eyes had felt like a snare and he felt like a wolf trying to gnaw off its own leg in needing to escape from her presence. He stood there, picturing himself kissing her neck and feeling her pulse under his lips.
Then he had sped off like a fool and drawn extra attention to himself. The slip of a girl in the tiny book shop was utterly suffocating as his thirst grew. He knew had to leave as soon as possible and feed, and he had felt her noticing him immediately in the change and stiffness of her posture. It was stupid to look back when he left the bookstore. He knew she was looking- even if it had been any other girl, there was something magnetic about vampires. They unnaturally drew people in to lure as prey. He knew why he looked back at her before he left. The moment their eyes met he felt like his world was turned upside down when their eyes met. Light shone out of her every pore to him.
He had to run from the shop to keep from looking longer but her face was perfectly burned into his mind like a photograph. Her eyes met his, and he was struck. It felt like everything Rosalie and Emmet and Jasper and Alice and every pair had said the moment they knew they had met their love. Carlisle was worried if it was more than a singer, as he had never heard tell of a vampire's singer surviving.
What cruel punishment would choose to have the rarest combination of pain and pleasure in a body? He scowled. Her scent lingered in his memory as he had paced his office in the hospital. It was a little better now, he knew what to expect and to keep putting more distance between them. And she was injured, a simple distraction from his suffering. Her pain was acute and his heart ached for her. She was young, but looked near his age in body, something that was confirmed when her chart was pulled. Bella Swan, daughter of the police chief and the 22-year-old Forks native returned home.
Carlisle would be able to deal with the discomfort as long as he avoided her. It had been so frustrating to be in the same room as her and not touch her. Even now, in her recovering state, the intrusive thoughts came and he wanted to hold her and feel her warmth and pulse. Soothe her and rub the pain away. He imagined kissing her and sucking on her neck and the moans she would make- he would draw out of her. His muscles were all taught and he felt the wood of his desk creaking and relaxed his grip. He swallowed and tried to ignore the weight of his cock growing thicker with the rapid fantasies playing in his mind.
He had never been so worked up over one person, it would be impossible to maintain his perfectly personable persona with her around. Carlisle felt like an animal in the best and worst of ways. It felt so right but he knew that he and his family already drew attention to themselves even with their diet. He tried his best to do right by his fellow man and to keep their secret safe. Bella Swan was dangerous to him. He and his family should leave-
His cell phone started ringing and he snapped out of his spiral.
Taking a breath before picking up, "Yes, Alice?"
"We're not moving. Before you start planning anymore or panicking- it's fine, and it hurts us if we leave now. We need to lay low for now." Carlisle was used to Alice being cryptic but this was turning his stomach into a knot. A small part of him was glad that she was saying this. more often than not he was very glad to not the bearer of Alice's gift and the many frustrations it brought. So much pressure was carried by the sweetest and most optimistic person he had met. Carlisle was proud of the family that had been built and growing.
"But Alice," he paused, "I don't know if I can be around her." He wasn't lying. He felt out of his skin since meeting her. Knowing she was across the hospital felt like a switch had been flipped. He could still smell her faintly through the hospital doors and beyond the smell of antiseptic. It called out to him even now.
"Carlisle, I haven't had even one vision where you harm her. She is in no danger from you." Alice's words always felt very specific and careful to Carlisle and he felt a little bit of unease that she was specific that the girl was not in danger from him. That left a world of problems! Within just an hour of meeting her, barely, she had a car wreck that cracked bones. Carlisle's eyes narrowed.
"Did you and Jasper go out hunting?" He asked.
Alice paused for a moment before replying. "Yes."
"Where did you hunt?"
"Oh, you know, just nearby for a doe." Carlise felt suspicious.
"Not near the main road out of Port Angeles and into Forks?" He started to wonder if Alice had chased any deer intentionally. She wouldn't harm someone on purpose, he knows, but wonders abstractly if she had set some chain of events in motion and realized afterward.
Alice doesn't answer his question and he knows she knew that Bella would get hurt and that he would rescue her off the side of the road and call for help. They end the call and he remembers earlier that evening.
He still can picture seeing the car on the side of the road and the feeling of his heart metaphorically dropping into his stomach when he realized it must be her car. He was almost a mile away when he caught the trace of her scent, his car flying on the road. When he opened his car door, he felt the power of her siren blood calling to him again. He called 911 immediately and as gently as he could, pried her door open. She has been unconscious. Eyes that had captivated him earlier now shut, but she was breathing. The vice and tightness on his chest loosened only a little. His still heart was brimming with anxiety from the moment that he saw the car on its side, off the road. The car's old safety features had done their job and saved their passenger. It was hard to tell the full extent of the damage. She had a small nosebleed from the airbag but it didn't look like her nose broke. The blood had started to dry but it was extremely hard for him to ignore.
Waiting for emergency services to arrive felt like an eternity but it felt suspicious to do much else. Carlisle diligently followed the ambulance to Forks General, his hands gripping his steering wheel tightly. He rarely drove this slowly, and the urgency to get to the hospital sooner was one he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt frustrated much of the time having to move at human speed when trying to save a life. He needed to see her eyes again, just once, he told himself. And so he did. Walking away from her hospital bed had been so difficult. Once he left he knew he had to keep walking and not turn back. He endeavored to do as much good with his eternal curse as he could, and staying away from Bella Swan would do all of them good.
It was a long two days and two nights before Bella was discharged. She had been lucky. Contusions and bruising from the seatbelt, no signs of internal bleeding, a cracked rib, and a mild concussion. Overall, something she felt confident recovering from soon. No driving for a while would be challenging, but she would manage and go for walks and hikes.
She hadn't seen even a glimpse of Dr. Cullen since the day of the accident. She felt a little weird about it, but started to put it out of her mind. Maybe he had resented her for interrupting his night off? She couldn't imagine that anything she had done offended him personally aside from her horrendous driving.
Jacob and Renee's fears ate at her a bit. She felt more alone from their shared concern in not having them around to console her. It inspired Bella to stop being so doom and gloom and reacquaint the old fashioned way. She read and rested and started to plan.
She would need to start building some kind of life in Forks, for now. If she wasn't going to be able to travel too much, she would feel most satisfied by figuring out her next steps. Working seemed like a good idea to start soon. She spent several days just writing and pouring her frustrations at her life into ink on paper. She felt like a teenager a bit, but she was determined to start a new path. Then Bella realized, she'd need friends here.
After two long weeks of resting as per doctor's orders, Bella decided it had been long enough. Bella headed towards Newton's Supplies and sought what she hoped would be the company of Mike. She and Mike weren't close by any means but they had kept a little in touch after high school through text and when she visited and from what his social media showed, he seemed to be out of any relationship. It wasn't that she was looking for anything specific but, single people tended to gravitate towards each other, Bella justified.
She walked into the shop and adjusted her top, trying not to fidget, already feeling silly for coming to his parent's store without checking in or trying to text him first. She chided herself- it was a public business and there was no need to make herself feel uncomfortable about it.
"Hey, miss! We have a sale on-" he paused for a beat before continuing, "Bella?" The happy surprise was evident in his voice.
"Hey, Mike! Long time no see."
"Oh, man! How are you doing?" He looked at her once over, "Is everything ok, you look a little beat up."
Bella felt herself blush and roll her eyes before she could stop herself from reacting. "Yeah, just a little fender bender. Have any old cars for cheap?"
"Depends, how cheap is cheap?"
"... Free?" Bella said unconvincingly, and then laughed. Mike smiled. "Honestly Mike I just wanted to come, think about getting some hiking stuff since I won't be driving any time soon, and catch up."
Mike beamed. "It's been a while, I didn't expect to see you out of the holiday season." She and Mike had grown up a block apart when she visited with Charlie. The lack of kids in the neighborhood made it necessary for nearby kids in the same age range to bond- especially with the cool, elusive New Yorker, Bella reminded herself.
"Oh definitely! Man, Beth is going to love you. I mean, you're gonna love Beth!" He stumbled again," Aw Jeez, I mean, Beth and her friends would be great for us to hang out with. We should hit Port Angeles as a group!"
And so plans happened. A week or so later, She was picked up by Mike, Beth, Lauren, and Ashley. Mike had a decent sized suburban, so it was easy for Bella to hop in the third row with Lauren.
She felt a little more at ease a few minutes later.
Down the road, Love Shack came on and they were laughing and giggling as they sang along and bounced to the tune. The lightened mood and shared interest opened the conversation and Bella felt fast friendships forming. She and Lauren both had a passion for reading and writing- Lauren had graduated last year and worked remotely doing indexing and editing for a small press in Seattle, so she moved outside of Forks into a house she shared with Ashley. Ashley's parents had died, and she had inherited the house and homestead, but couldn't afford it and so she rented out a bedroom.
Ashley it seemed was into getting laid soon, as she made it the topic of conversation often, which amused Beth the most and got a giggle from Bella and Lauren occasionally. She wasn't opposed to talking about sex but it had been a while since she'd been around girlfriends or had anything happy or interesting to report.
Bella didn't chime in. Her mind flashed back to the last man who had his hands on her and the pain she was in. Definitely felt like a cold wash and cleared her mind of all fun. She chewed on the thought a little that she could have fun trying something new that wasn't so aggressive. She didn't want to be dominated and owned. She wanted to be.. If not loved, caressed, and adored, you know, a little. She felt a little silly for wanting to be appreciated and knew that it wasn't a mark against her for wanting that. She put her phone away after she saw a new message pop up. A simple "Hey" from Evan remained unopened in her message inbox.
They arrived at the theater and caught a rom-com. Mike and Beth had snuck in the most snacks and two flasks. They sipped and snacked through the film and increasingly grew attached to the romantic leads.
They left, Mike and Beth gushing while the rest felt lonelier. Now at a decent time for the evening, they headed down the street to "Mr. Purple", a bar and dance floor. They heard the music as they approached and Bella thought back to NYC crawls with Evan and Jake and good times. Bella felt the wistful wish wash of happy and sad memories, and reminded herself to keep in the moment and embrace the new memories being made.
Her left rib was still a little sore to too much pressure, so she kept to the edges of the crowd as she danced in the bustling space. People ranged from barely 18 to in their thirties here. Bella wasn't used to seeing such a mix of people but then realized there probably weren't that many clubs around here.
She caught the gaze of a tall, wiry man dressed casually with long blonde hair in a bun. She looked away immediately, no, not her type. She swayed her hips and met with Lauren in the corner who seemed to be having a little less fun than everyone else.
"Don't like to dance?" Bella leaned in and shouted over the music in Lauren's ear for her to be able to hear.
"No, it's not that! Just didn't see any free agents I wanted to go for."
Bella grabbed her hand and pulled her slightly onto the floor and started dancing in front of her. "C'mon! We don't need free agents." Lauren smiled and placated her with some swaying and shoulder moving in place.
"Better than that, you're not even trying. Girl, you are so gorgeous, show me that you believe that!" Bella egged her on to dance and placed her hands on Lauren's hips and forced her to sway them to the beat. She and Lauren started to laugh openly and dance harder and with the jovial bounce of the crowd and those around them.
As they danced together, she and Lauren both got attention from more people here and there. Two young men tried to grind against Bella's hip and she brushed them away easily. A tall redhead came up to Bella. "Okay" Bella nodded mouthed at the girl. She could rock this. The girl who approached her had long red hair pulled into a sleek ponytail and dark brown eyes that could have been any color and Bella would have been drawn in the haze of club lights and the buzz she was feeling.
Some time a few minutes later, Bella and Tori had ended up at the bar. After a few drinks and a few minutes of giggling and soft touches on the arm, Tori played with a lock of Bella's hair.
"So, are we doing this?" Tori asked with a suggestive tone and gleam in her eyes. As Bella bit her lip, she weighed her options. Evan had made her feel small and unwanted. This Bella didn't have that same feeling now. She felt free to make memories and mistakes
She took victoria's hand and kissed the tip of her pointer finger and nodded. They ended up kissing in the hallway and grinding against each other. She isn't sure who started what, but her back is up against the wall and Tori's thigh is between hers. The hallway is dark and probably empty but feels so close to the commotion that it's hard to not feel watched. They moan into each other's mouths and continue. "Where do we head?" Bella asks in Tori's ear, as she is kissing her neck.
"My place. I live two streets down."
The next day, Bella wakes up in a new bed and a new headache. A heart-shaped bottom is peeking out from under the dark brown sheets next to her. The long and smooth back with a splay of red hair is picturesque. Tori has a small, but clean and warm place in Port Angeles. The sun is shining through the window by her bedside and Bella is painfully aware that she never redressed last night and she feels a bit damp. A few memories from the night before replay in her mind. It wasn't bad- she was a little surprised at how shyly she had acted with Tori. The game felt different though. With Bella's experiences, guys tended to be pretty happy you were even touching them, let alone how experienced you were.
Tori had led the way to the bedroom. Bella enjoyed the softness of her lips and damn, this girl smelled good. Evan had been her longest relationship, and while he showered at least once a day after the gym, he still had a musk that came with existing as a warm-blooded man and didn't really wear cologne. Tori smelled a bit like candy and perfume, especially when Bella kissed her neck. That she could do decently. Bella teased down the column of her throat and pulled the straps of her silky bra down her shoulders to expose rosy peaks on pale skin.
Bella barely stopped her exploration with her tongue and lips down Tori's chest to admire them but they were soft and fuller than hers. She couldn't help comparing her body to Tori's, but she found confidence in the sighs and soft moans she pulled out of Tori
They both were in just their undergarments now, Tori was laying back on the bed, stroking Bella's head and back with light fingertips as she lavished attention to her nipples.
The next thing she remembered is the position flipping and Tori being on top and spreading her legs. She hadn't felt a woman go down on her before but it shook her to the core. IT hadn't been the most intense orgasm of her life, but it was so sensual and engaging that she felt new waking up today. Her tongue had been so gentle on her clit- lips kissing and lapping softly while her hands stroked her thighs. Bella heard herself moaning and felt a finger tease against her slit and gently curl inside in a way that caused her body to tense just right and she felt herself coming.
Bella spent a few minutes coming down and worked towards returning the favor. As her tongue first touched the other girl's wet clitoris, she tasted her arousal. Tangy.
After a few minutes of moaning and pulling on Bella's hair, her jaw felt fucking sore! Jesus. Blowjobs weren't this hard. There were so many angles she was used to switching between that didn't seem like an option. She kept at it though, and Tori seemed to be enjoying herself. IT eventually took Bella lapping at her slit while Tori massaged her own clit to make her finish.
She'd never seen someone touch and massage themselves that way in person before. She'd seen porn, she understood how the mechanics of it worked but it was really erotic to see a beautiful girl touch herself and finish in front of her and with her help. Bella felt accomplished but not any closer to the near-stranger.
So she slipped out of bed quietly and got cleaned up. No soreness from that experience, she reflected. She smiles. Tori isn't someone she thinks she wants to see again, well, anytime soon. But she does feel a little lighter today.
She thinks about showering but instead looks at her phone and contemplates who to call. It's not like she can walk back to Forks, right? It feels like a long walk of shame to manage, but she's not keen on getting a run down leaving a girl's apartment. She thinks of the shoes she wore to the club and resigns to needing to call for a ride. Shooting a text to the group chat that was formed last night seems to be the best idea for now.
Lauren is the most responsive to Bella's request, and the chat blows up with young women hyping Bella up for the ride of shame. It seems like she wasn't the only one who was lucky last night if Ashley's suggestive texts are anything to go by. Lauren tells her she can pick her up within the hour if needed and that sounds fine to her.
She walks back into the bedroom to find Tori alert and awake, scrolling on her phone.
"Hey sleepyhead," Tori says with affection in her voice and a smile playing on her lips. Tori's eyes turn away from the bright little screen to Bella and the smile fades a little when she sees Bella fully dressed. They talked about how they are each feeling and agree that it's probably best if they go their separate ways from here. Bella marks this as her first and true one night stand if their amicable parting is anything to go by. She's stunned and relieved that it doesn't feel messy.
Lauren picks her up and she drives Bella towards Forks. The breeze is gentle and it's another rare day with gaps in the clouds and the warmth of the sun hits them from time to time and cheers the girls up. Bella directs them to Charlie's house with help from GPS and she feels way more embarrassed walking into the house. She had texted Charlie that she would be staying out late with the new group of friends and he didn't question it, but it made walking in the house feeling like a new person still feel weird.
After a bit of toast, a shower, and good tooth brushing she starts to feel more like herself. Maybe this won't be so bad. The text from Evan is still marked unread and she feels lighter on her feet the rest of the day with the small feeling of victory.
note:
Missed this pairing so much y'all.
More to come soon- weekly updates!
-CC
