After a productive afternoon, and a few dollars lining her pocket, Bella feels more content. When she gets back to her car, she suddenly remembers the folded sticky note with a phone number on it. She sits in the parking lot for a moment, adding the contact to her phone. She starts drafting a text.
Hey Doctor! Bella here. What's your schedule like for coffee tomorrow?
She scrunches her face up and hits send on the text message anyway. No need to overthink it.
"I can hear the way you're thinking now Carlisle."
Carlisle hears his phone buzz in his office. He's used to getting some reach out from colleagues and the hospital and doesn't think twice to rush to the sound.
"Edward… I have nothing but respect for your opinion on the matter but I don't know what I'm doing here." Carlisle paused to consider his next words carefully but Edward could hear his inner turmoil.
"You don't need to treat her like glass. Alice's visions aren't always perfect," Carlisle held in a huff but his lip downturned at the recent memory, "But like always, has been trying to keep an eye out for you and our coven, consistently." Another wound. Carlisle felt like he didn't understand Alice's actions. He didn't pretend to always understand her mildly chaotic choices at times, and was trying to not jump to conclusions-
"There was no other way. I've seen what Alice saw and I understand that the risk assessment she took felt worth it. It was dangerous but there was no guarantee that Bella would end up crossing paths with us otherwise."
Edward sighed before delivering the next bit of news
"We don't know everything about her- but she was going to leave otherwise. And Alice said you needed to meet her and this was the only way she saw that happening."
We don't need perfect lives at the expense of others' suffering. I still don't know anything about the signs of abuse found on her that night.
Edward ground and pressed his teeth at Carlisle's insistent morals. "I know…. Her actions are in a gray area, but I don't want you to hold this against Alice and Jasper.
"I doubt Miss Swan wanted to be in a car accident," Carlisle said tepidly
He sighed. "I won't beat this conversation to death."
Edward's eyes were sharp, knowing the tension was far from over though the conversation was being ended regardless. Carlisle walked to his office and saw the new text.
He saved the contact and number to the device and his memory and replied
I'm off of work at 3pm tomorrow. What time works best for you?
If Carlisle was one to fidget, now would have been the time. The text floated into the void and was marked "sent". Modern technology gave Carlisle not great comfort beyond usually blending in. After living so long and through so many fads in fashion and technology, one gains an understanding of the cyclic nature of these things.
Oh wow! 3:30 should work at Coffee Time. Is that enough time for you to get over there?
Carlisle smiled at the innocence of the text. It was thoughtful of her to check in to make sure he was provided enough time for him to arrive, and it warmed his heart.
3:30 would work for my schedule. See you then
He struggled with trying to get her off of his mind the rest of the night and into his early shift. He goes for a hunt before he leaves for work, for posterity and safety for the afternoon plans ahead. Of course, Carlisle never minded starting days at 5 am and spending the majority of daylight inside, but today feels longer than usual workdays.
When he walks into coffee time at 3:29 pm, he aims for a nonchalant appearance and expression. He could smell her as he was approaching the parking lot. The scent is concentrated in the enclosed space.
"Hey, Doc!" He smiles at the colloquial nickname.
"Bella." He nods politely
"Do you always dress like a Calvin Kelin model? A small part of me was hoping that we could go for a hike after this but, I'd say you're dressed for the great indoors, or a short walk maybe."
"My fault for misinterpreting coffee as coffee and not expecting a hike as well after a shift at the hospital."
Bella smirked and mirth filled her eyes. "Honestly, you look really fit. In the northwest, I expected that you just enjoyed the outdoors and hiking. But I expect you'll leave here to go do P90X before going to bed early."
"What makes you accuse me of going to bed early?"
"Mmm… seems like the type on the surface, but then again you do look like you could use an hour or so more rest. It seems like your eyes look darker the later I keep you out." Carlisle smiled and downcast his eyes and tried to stop breathing in her scent. Sooner or later if she kept inspecting him so closely she would notice something was different. The illusion only held to bring victims in close enough for the hunter to lure the prey. Once the prey noticed these more subtle signs, it was usually too late.
"A walk with coffee sounds lovely. I think there's a trail right behind the shop."
Carlisle grabbed a hot black coffee and hoped that the lack of milk or extra ingredients made it less unpleasant to bring up later. The thought helped to slightly distract from the ambrosia of Bella. Carlisle didn't believe in fate. He had long made peace with his deity, on some level. He felt damned and abandoned. This had to be a punishment and suffering. His only point of reference in craving blood like this had been those first few days of agony. This wasn't the same type of agony- the stress of the thirst weighed on his heart more than any other had. He felt compelled by his physical body to be close, impossibly close to her.
They stepped outside, coffees in hand. Suddenly Carlisle was aware of the picture of domesticity taking place. He had never been able to court a young woman when he was human. The drink was warm against his hand. It wasn't uncomfortable, nor pleasant to feel. He wondered absently how the warmth of her hand would feel in his.
"Do you have family in Forks?"
"I do. I live with my younger cousins. My parents, aunt, and uncle passed away some years ago." Carlisle cringed at the version of events. It was still better than Emmett insisting they pose as Carlisle's son for once. Just because he was the eldest and leader didn't incline them to blend in as a father-children dynamic.
"That makes a lot more sense than my original theories. Witness protection program was one of the first things that came to mind."
"Excuse me?"
Bella gave him a pointed look
"Why would you be in Forks? You don't even look 25. It seems like you oversee so much at the hospital, it can't be your first residency." Carlisle the rise of panic in the back of his mind. The real danger of getting coffee was her suspecting too much. He felt very aware of the high stakes and consequences of her finding out the truth.
"I've always been an advocate for SPF and staying out of the sun. It does more than any miracle creams claim to. I am 29." Carlisle had this conversation many times before. He was immensely grateful for modern-day ideals of skincare to blame long-lived superficial youth. Even so, he only had a few short years in this shell before more people started to notice something was off with their family and began to ask questions. It was always better to leave before that happened. The pain of moving on after settling in became easier with practice. It was easier than living entirely nomadically and off-grid. Carlisle felt too much of a pull to humanity. It had been something of a mockery in his years spent with the Volturi. He had long since come to understand so many of his kind viewed themselves far and above humans. One had to separate and elevate oneself from humanity to ease the weight of the curse of cannibalizing for eternity.
Bella picked up on Carlisle's defensive reply. She thought carefully about the metaphorical paths ahead of her as they gently walked the unpaved path alongside the woods. Being out in nature was always soothing, and gave the most room to have a sincere and open conversation. It was an exposition in some ways, to aim for privacy in the wide open air. But outdoors there was no room to retreat to or hide in. The physical scale and space of the hills and mountains gave Bella a sense of comfort and fresh memories from her youth. Running through the suburbs and woods with friends, telling tall tales and secrets.
"Sorry for pushing it doc. I really just wanted to come here today to say thank you, for everything." Bella swallowed, "I don't know that I would be here… or as okay as I am, if you hadn't been around." Bella smiled weakly, in a pitiful attempt to give some levity to her words. Carlisle's chest burned at the heavy subject and his mouth pressed in a line. He tried to choose his words carefully.
"I'm very glad to have helped. I… am sure you would have been capable without me but, I'm glad I was there."
"Me too." Carlisle's chest bloomed slightly at the small words. He feels like he would have blushed in another life.
"So, are you seeing anyone?" Bella felt like she should clear the air before letting herself get any further.
Carlisle huffed a laugh, startled at the question. "No." He answered simply and couldn't fight the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. His eyes darted to hers. She was sipping her coffee and nodded with her eyebrows raised.
"Why not?"
"What do you mean why not?"
"Well. I mean I'm sure you've seen a mirror before. I can't imagine that every person you've ever met has been only intimidated by your greek god looks." Carlisle was now smiling and shaking his head.
"You're not wrong but," he searched the air for the right words. She couldn't hear his thoughts, unlike Edward, but Carlisle felt so used to trying to suppress so many emotions and thoughts for these years. The burning he felt around her was so overwhelming. His body was alight in the most fantastic way being taunted and coaxed by Bella. Everything inside wanted him to accept her coaxing, taste her, claim her body and soul."I haven't had the most luck in finding what I am looking for."
"Right, I guess guys start to settle down near your age." Bella's assumptions about his age did make him think about the sincerity of their age gap. He was becoming suspicious that his attraction to her was more than a passing fancy. He knew that Bella must be his singer. The suffering of his thirst had been undeniable, and what he had learned in Italy of La Tua Cantante felt undeniable. The fact that he had been able to be around her as easily as he had had to be due to the centuries of practice unless his gift was restraint. Better than no gift at all, but Carlisle did not believe that it was a gift. He woke up as the thing he had despised most in his past life, he would never have been able to give in to temptation. This just felt like the most severe trial he had ever been put through.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Well," Carlisle stated, "I think it's only fair I get to ask you in turn what your relationship status is." His mind holds on a small hope that she isn't attached, and also drifts to the reports on her body at the Forks hospital. Abuse is presented differently in different situations.
"Free as a bird. I just uh… well. It's been almost a month since I ended things with my.. with my boyfriend." She finished lamely.
"Where are you from?"
Carlisle missed Manhattan from Bella's telling of it. The last time he had passed through the city with Edward and Esme was brief. A large city like New York was a good place to fade away but dangerous for those less restrained and comfortable around the smell of human blood. Death and blood were waiting around what felt like every corner when you could smell human blood a mile away.
"I just finished my third year at NYU. I was a lit major." Carlisle's interest was piqued with this information. Their walk had started to take them farther away from prying eyes and a well-traveled trail that meandered into the woods and trees.
"I always loved reading and discourse. My father was a pastor, and while there was only one important book to him, it spurred my interest at a young age."
Bella tried to not focus on the past tense of his father and him mentioning a shared interest relating to his father. He was so young to have lost so much of his family. She couldn't imagine losing Renee, Charlie, or Phil even.
"What do you like to read?"
"I think… Don Quixote is one of my favorite books that I return to constantly. I love poetry too, but the tales of the man from La Mancha have always captivated me." Bella smiled
"Don Quixote is a classic. I'm more of a Bronte girl now, but I grew up with Don Quixote on audiobook for long train rides. I never saw windmills out of the window, but I saw giants while I listened."
Carlisle's mind was delighted at the image in his mind of a young girl captivated by the tales of a misguided knight, imagining fairy tales in her mind. The knowledge that she loved tragic Bronte-Esque heroes did little for his sanity. She was every bit, Jane Eyre, in their tale now, looking as otherworldly to him as Jane did to Rochester. He as Edward Rochester was insurmountable compared to a secret and tragic marriage before Jane. But it was not a false comparison. He felt like a sinner now, lying to her by not keeping distance as he ought to.
"I always preferred reading a book to the audio and digital files but they are easier sometimes," Bella added.
"Me too. The feeling and smell of a book have always been preferable to me as well." Then, he could read significantly faster than an audiobook could be played.
"Have you given any thought to your thesis?" Carlisle inquired.
Bella laughed a little at the question. Carlisle met her eyes again and saw a complexion emotion pass her face, somewhere between amusement and frustration possibly.
"I have. It's one of the reasons I'm here. I needed some clarity." Bella paused, unsure of how much of herself to reveal.
"I… gave too much of myself away recently. I feel a little lost and…" She struggled for the words a moment and he waited for her to continue, "I have been contradicting myself and making rash decisions. It's not that my thesis will decide everything but it still feels important to me."
She swallowed, suddenly feeling naive and frustrated. "I know this will be a distant memory one day. I feel like I need my thesis to be important, that I need something I create to be important, to me at least."
"I think that's admirable."
"I'd say saving lives at a hospital is admirable. Wanting a thesis paper to be important is selfish."
Carlisle's brow furrowed.
"I would urge you to refrain from making a false equivalency. Not all important actions reap the same benefits. The differences don't lessen their importance."
Bella smirked and tried to not feel belittled.
"I appreciate that and I'll refrain from making the comparison in the future. I don't sincerely think that I should have compared the two… I've spent so many years justifying Art and Lit studies as valid, I just don't think that my thesis will make a difference in the world. Not right now anyway. I don't know that I want to make a huge difference, or live as you live, giving back every day of your life. I know that at the very least I want to. Make something worthwhile. Of my time, of the people reading my paper." Bella's heart was beginning to race slightly at all of the admissions. She felt like a literal shell was cracking open, and it was making her anxious. The warmth and security she felt from the truth being spoken wasn't enough of a balm to heal the recent wounds.
"I won't pretend to know enough about you or what you'll do but I don't doubt it will be more than worthwhile."
Bella blushed and glanced away, biting her lower lip for a split moment. She really had to stop doing that
Carlisle also thought she really had to stop doing that. He saw pearly white teeth indent in the flesh of her lip for a moment and imagined his in their place. He was balancing precariously. He wanted so much to know more of the vivacious young woman beside him. So much of his energy was being put into restraining his instincts.
They had been walking for several minutes, and deeper into the woods now. They had passed another couple some while ago, and no one seemed to be around for more than a mile from what Carlisle could tell.
"Thank you Doctor Cullen."
"I'd prefer it if you called me Carlisle." She smiled and leaned to her right to elbow him gently.
"Jesus, what kind of workouts are you doing? You're way more solid than you look."
Carlisle cringed internally
"My family and I are all avid health nuts. Comes from my profession too, I'm afraid." Better to lay the groundwork for uncannily super fit, super attractive relatives now.
Bella reached over and grabbed the crook of his arm gently. His skin bloomed at the gentle warm pressure through his jacket and shirt from her hand.
"I believe it. You're built like a rock Carlisle!"
Not the only thing feeling like a rock his mind unhelpfully supplied.
Carlisle just attempted a small smile angled at Bella.
Bella uses her grasp on his arm to pull herself up to kiss Carlisle on the cheek.
Carlisle could have dodge her. But feeling her intentionally draw closer and the desperation to have her closer prevented him from stopping her movement. Her lips grazed a half an inch away from his mouth, setting the skin of his cheek alight inside. Venom pooled in his mouth.
Carlisle jerked back slightly at the sensation and in her preservation. Oh God oh God oh God.
"Sorry I just… Wanted to thank you… your face is so cold. Are you ok?" Bella rushed out her words as she seemed to barely notice his recoil and definitely didn't pick up on the severity of the turmoil he was in.
Carlisle swallowed the venom and chased it down with some of the horrid coffee and nodded quickly in reply to her, hoping to warm himself up just slightly and ruin the rush of thirst and pleasure from feeling her lips on his skin.
"Yeah, just a bit cold. The cool air really sits on my skin."
Bella's eyebrows raised and she nodded, seeming to accept the answer but looking puzzled again.
"Your pupils are enormous right now. Your eyes weren't this dark a moment ago. Are you sure you're okay?" Panic was starting to hit Carlisle full force and the temptation was not ebbing.
"I'm fine but maybe we should head back?"
Bella released his elbow, forgetting she had been holding it this time.
"Sorry, I'm working on my boundaries. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I really wanted to thank you for all of the things you've done to watch over me the last few weeks. I can't help but compare you to a guardian angel." Bella smirked at that
"I'm not an angel, Bella."
"I know. I don't think anyone is perfect but you'd be pretty close if there was a measure."
Carlisle judges it's best to not fight her too hard on that.
"I appreciate that… I don't need thanks. But I have enjoyed the excuse to spend time speaking with you."
This time Bella's smile lit Carlisle up inside. It wasn't a megawatt grin, just a sincere and happy expression. The pull in his chest throbbed at the sight.
"Me too. I haven't actually been able to have a thorough conversation about my interests since coming here. Have you been to the Forks Library?"
"I have, but I usually venture to Seattle or order online. I'm always growing my collection at home."
They walked back in silence for a few paces before Bella spoke again.
"Would you like to do this again sometime?"
"I would really like that."
