AN: The scene in this chapter was sitting in my drafts as a different story for years, it's finally seeing the light of day. *Fans self and hides*

Enjoy


Later never came.

They didn't get to continue their talk because he was once again sent out of the faction, this time for almost a week. In that time, he's barely been able to even send a text to Tris, much less have a conversation.

To her credit, the sparse times he's been able to manage a few sentences, she's been very understanding, but he's not as confident in their ability to withstand this type of turmoil while navigating the beginnings of a relationship.

His first relationship shouldn't have pending unrest to add layers of complexity to something he's already having a hard time wrapping his head around. He knows he's overthinking, but he can't help himself, and he ends up wallowing in his own self-doubt when he should be thankful he's got someone as understanding as Tris in his life.

The tip Max had gotten turned out to be promising, and they'd managed to capture three more of these unknown people. Even though the two women and one man had refused to answer any questions, Max ordered them to Candor to see if they could get anything out of them by the truth serum, and to their surprise they seemed to finally be getting answers from this newly captured group.

Max and Charissa stayed on in Candor, and they'd finally sent Veronica, Harrison and Eric back to Dauntless to relieve the apprenticeship staff. It's the middle of the night when Veronica finally pulls the truck back into the garage, and he'd been texting Tris the entire way home, but another phone call from Max interrupted any further conversation and he was once again left frustrated by the interruption. It was incredibly late and he was walking back to his apartment when he received a text from Tris that simply stated she was at Austyn's apartment and that he could stop by if he needed to unwind.

He found the response unusual, especially since she's been the one who's hesitant to take their arrangement public, and a bit of jealousy flared at the thought of her being at another man's apartment at this hour.

He shakes his head to try to rid himself of his unnecessary jealousy. He was a little more than sick of calling this an arrangement with Tris, and maybe if they had put some sort of label on it he'd have been more comfortable with things. However, what else could it be right now? Even though Max, Harrison and Charissa were trying to downplay what was happening outside of their faction to avoid alarming the residents, he had an instinct this was about to get serious. Sure, it was only four people in custody right now, and the sightings were decreasing, but Eric agreed wholeheartedly with Andrew Prior on this, and whatever was happening was about to turn ugly. Eric knew when that happened, Max would have no choice but to start sending his leaders out. And what if he didn't return?

His job was fucking dangerous, more so with the unrest outside, and right now wasn't the right time to start a relationship. He should tell her that, but he knows when he has that conversation she's likely to leave him. The thought of being without her at all scares him much more than the idea of committing to her.

His head is so fucked up right now.

Against his better judgment, especially given his current mood, he turned towards Austyn's place to take her up on the offer, especially if it meant he could spend just a little time with her on neutral ground.

When he got to the apartment, he could tell Tris was surprised to see him there, and she jumped up off of the couch and ran directly to him, where he picked her up and held her against him and he felt her wrap her arms and legs around him.

Any thought of ending this is forgotten.

"I missed you." He said to her as he buried his nose into her hair, breathing her in.

"You didn't tell me you were coming back." She whispers against his cheek before pressing her lips to it.

It was as if they both suddenly realized that they weren't alone, and Tris scrambled out of his arms and faced Austyn.

"Its not like I don't already know there's something going on between you two, even if both of you stubborn asses deny it. Besides, you've been worried all week about him. I always listen to everything you don't say." Austyn dismisses when he sees their reactions, "He did tell you he was home, but it just happened to be when you were asleep on the couch, so I sent him a text from your phone telling him to come over and unwind if he wanted. He obviously wants to be here with you, so what's the problem?"

Eric thinks about arguing with him, but he's exhausted and decides it's not worth denying anymore, "Just keep it to yourself, please." Eric replies in a tired voice, and both Austyn and Tris are shocked when he casually presses his lips to the crown of her head before dropping on the couch and pulling her down next to him.

"You look exhausted." Austyn offers, trying to ease the nervousness he can see radiating off of Tris.

"It's one of those exhaustions that sleep doesn't help." Eric sighs.

"Are you okay?" She asks as she tucks her feet under her and scoots close to him. He shrugs, and she and Austyn share the same concerned look, "Are you able to talk about it?" She asks and he shakes his head. She watches as he pulls at a loose thread on her joggers, before he just drops his hand onto her thigh.

"No, and even if I could, I would still have more questions than answers." Eric says and Tris sighs, "I just need to not think about shit for awhile."

Austyn leaves the room and returns seconds later with three shot glasses and a bottle of whisky, "No more work talk. We said we were unwinding, now let's drink until we feel better."

"We all have to work tomorrow." Tris scowls at him and Eric chuckles, before grabbing the bottle and pouring them all a shot.

"Who gives a fuck? Live a little, Stiff." He smirks at her and she scowls at him.

Tris picks up a shot from the table and downs it, "I'm not a fucking Stiff, you Nose. We've established that already."

"Feisty." Austyn says as he clinks his shot glass with Eric's and they both down it.

A few shots turned into several, and before long they've begun a rather casual game of twenty questions, seeing how far they could push each other. If someone refused to answer, they took a shot.

The alcohol has definitely loosened Tris and Eric up, and Austyn suppressed a smile as he watched their unconscious affection with each other. They're always touching each other in some way, and as the drinks flowed their casual touches had turned very sweet as she lounged against him while his arm was slung around her, his fingers rubbing slow circles on her shoulder. Austyn also notices that Tris will reach for his hand every once in awhile, threading their fingers together without any thought.

"Wed, Bed, Dead, Tris, Four and me." Austyn smirks at Eric and he gets a laugh from the other man.

"You make it too easy, Wed Tris, Bed you and Dead Four." Eric replies easily.

Tris has to remind herself this is just a game.

"Same question to you, Austyn." Eric retorts.

"Who are the people?" He asks.

"Tris, me and Number Boy."

"Interesting group. I'd say Dead Four because he was a pretty crappy boyfriend to my best friend. Bed would be both of you, preferably at the same time and no Wed for me until I can find someone who understands who I am." Austyn replies and Tris feels Eric shift next to her.

"So you wanna fuck me, Austyn?" Eric says slowly, and Tris is familiar with the sensual tone of his voice.

"You know that I do. It's never been a secret." Austyn retorts.

"Have you two had sex before?" Tris blurts out and Eric laughs while Austyn smirks at her.

"Are you asking if we're virgins Miss Prior?" Austyn asks and she glares at him.

"You know exactly what I meant. Have you two had sex with each other?"

"Nope, but not for lack of trying on my part. Eric knows I've wanted him for awhile. That question was free, Tris, but now you're going to do a dare for me."

"This isn't truth or dare. This is just truth, right?" Tris replies.

"The rules changed." Eric whispers in her ear, sending a shiver through her when his lips brush it.

"Fine." She shrugs.

"I dare you to come over here and make out with me." Austyn says and her smile falters.

"You asshole, you know that I won't do that." She shakes her head.

"I guess you'll have to take another shot," He shrugs.

"I really don't want to drink anymore, I'm already buzzed." She whines.

"We should give her a break." Eric says as he presses a kiss to her neck, and she shivers against him.

Austyn sees it, and he decides to see how far he can push the sexy leader, "You could fulfill her dare if she's not feeling it."

"You want me to make out with you?" Eric asks with a goofy grin on his face.

"You have before," Austyn smirks at him and Eric's eyes flit to Tris.

"I didn't have her before." Eric replies.

"I wouldn't stop it." She shrugs.

"Tris..." Eric murmurs to her and she moves closer to him.

"I'd love to watch." She whispers to him and he pulls her face closer to his.

"You're really okay with this?" He asks and she nods.

"I trust you both, and baby you need something to take your mind off of things." She replies softly and he sighs.

"Not if it means hurting you." He shakes his head.

"I'm okay, I promise you." She replies and he tucks her hair behind her ears, just staring at her, "Or one of us can just call the game." She smirks.

"I never back down." He challenges her.

"Show me." Tris whispers in his ear before pressing her lips to it and he shivers.

Eric pulls Austyn closer to him, and the other man leans in towards him before Eric crashes his lips to his. Tris takes in a deep breath, watching as her best friend and the man she's fighting her own feelings for go from a tentative kiss to Austyn straddling Eric's lap and grinding on him.

"Someone's getting excited." Austyn whispers when he and Eric break apart, and he looks over at Tris, "Tris, I dare you to join in."

"Baby, you don't have to-" Eric says quickly.

"I don't back down either." She says as she stares into his eyes, "Austyn, how do you want me to join in?" She asks and he leans towards her and presses a kiss to her cheek.

"However you want." He whispers and she grins at him.

Eric moans when she begins rubbing his throbbing erection through his pants, and when she unbuttons them and slips her hand inside his head hits the back of the couch. She's on one side of him, nipping at his neck and rubbing her hand up and down his length, while Austyn works his way down, trying to slip Eric's jeans off.

It's then that Eric panics.

"Knife" Eric says.

Tris jumps into action, pushing Austyn away gently, "Austyn, we need to stop. Give Eric and I a minute, please." Tris says and the other man nods and leaves the room, realizing that a safe word was just used.

Tris... I need... we need to talk..." He stammers.

"Baby, are you okay?" She asks as soon as she sees the worry etched on his face.

"More than okay." He breathes out.

"What happened? You used the safe word."

"I don't want this to change us." He replies.

"Eric, if we continue, this will not change us. We wont let it." She replies.

"You... you want this to continue?"

She nods, "I trust you both. I want you both, but we only do this if we're both comfortable."

"If we do this, I want to be the only one who has sex with you." He says.

"I want that too." She replies.

"I want it baby, God I want it, but I only want it with you. I can't lose this." He replies and she cups his face in her hands.

"You won't ever lose me."

A quick conversation to assure everyone is sober enough to consent was all it took to move the three back into the bedroom. Austyn and Eric begin to undress Tris, both respecting her kissing rules, so both are trailing hot kisses down her body. Eric picks her up and lays her gently back on the bed and he begins kissing down her torso.

Austyn runs his hands up Eric's back, and when he begins to lift his shirt off Eric moves away from Tris long enough to let it happen. When he moves to pull Eric's pants and boxers off, he doesn't protest and once they're down to his ankles Austyn cautiously reaches out for Eric's erection.

"Oh my god." Tris drawls when she sees Austyn stroking Eric's cock while Eric rubs her clit with his thumb.

Eric drags his finger through her wet folds before pushing it inside of her. She feels him slowly pumping it in and out of her as his eyes close while Austyn continues his ministrations on him.

She leans up on her elbows so she can get a better view of them, and when Austyn moves in front of Eric while he lazily strokes his cock, he slowly drags his tongue down Eric's toned chest and abs. When he finally takes Eric in his mouth, her breath hitches, and Eric's soft moans fill the room.

She knew Eric had experiences with both men and women, but seeing it firsthand was amazing. She may not have enjoyed their one encounter with Veronica, but it definitely had satisfied her curiosity about being with a woman.

When Eric flat out refused to continue without Tris having to tell him, she realized he knew her much better than she'd given him credit for. He could have stayed, he could have gotten guaranteed sex from Roni, but he left with her that night. It was the first night they had to at least acknowledge that there was more than just a casual thing between them.

Maybe Peter and Austyn were right, maybe Eric was truly committed to her.

Austyn manages to get Eric's hands off of Tris and he pushed him down to the bed, where he continues to suck him off. Eric has Tris move closer to him, and then pulls her to straddle his face so he can begin licking and sucking her clit while getting head from Austyn, and Tris officially goes into overdrive from everything that's happening in the room.

Austyn moves from Eric long enough to turn his attention to Tris, where he takes one of her pert nipples into his mouth while his hand massages the other mound.

"Eric..." Tris moans as she gyrates on his face, "Baby I'm going to come..."

Austyn keeps nipping and sucking at her breasts as she falls apart on Eric, and when she finally moves from his face Austyn greedily laps her juices from Eric's lips before taking his mouth in a searing kiss.

"Do you want to fuck me Eric?" Austyn asks when he pulls away from Eric's mouth.

"Just her." Eric says and he meets Tris's eyes.

"Can I fuck you then?" He asks Eric, and he shakes his head.

"I can't do that to her." Eric says and Tris reaches out for him, threading her hand with his.

"Baby, if it's what you want, I want it too. It's for us." She says to Eric.

"I need. I can't..." Eric stammers and Tris realizes he's torn.

"You need a distraction, something to take your mind off of everything. We're offering you that, and if it's something you don't want, we stop. Those are our rules."

"Okay." He murmurs.

"Do you want this? One night before everything changes?" She asks and his grey eyes meet hers.

"Will we be okay?" He asks.

"Always."

"I want this." Eric says and Tris pulls Austyn towards her and she strokes up and down his length while looking at Eric.

"You're okay with this? Promise me, we're okay after this." Eric says quietly.

"I promise you." She replies and his lips almost catch hers when he leans in, but she turns her face just in time.

Her first kiss with Eric will not be during a threesome with one of her best friends.

She doesn't know how it happens so quickly, but she finds herself rolling condoms on both of them while they kiss all over each other's bodies. Eric pulls away from Austyn long enough to line up with Tris and push himself in.

"You feel so good baby, so tight, so perfect for me." He says quietly before leaning over and kissing her neck again.

Before he moves, Austyn has lubed himself up and is pushing slowly into Eric. Tris doesn't move, and when Eric moves himself slightly out of her she hears both men moan, and soon it's Austyn setting their rhythm while thrusting into Eric from behind. Tris sees true bliss on Eric's face, the lust from it all overpowering their thoughts, and each time Austyn thrusts into him he pushes harder into Tris.

"Oh God..." Tris moans as both men increase their pace. She notices that Eric is now setting the rhythm, pumping into her hard and fast while simultaneously moving against Austyn, and soon the stimulation is just too much for him.

"Baby, I am going to come, can I?" He pants out at Tris and she nods quickly.

He pulls out of Tris slowly, and rolls the condom off of his strained cock. She watches as Austyn's hand creeps in front of Eric, and he grasps Eric in his hand as he continues to pound into him from behind. Tris begins rubbing her swollen clit, so incredibly turned on at the sight in front of her.

"Tris…" Eric calls out as he begins to spurt onto her belly, "Fuck yeah baby…" He pants out as he drops onto his forearms and hovers over her.

Austyn keeps pumping into him, and Eric moves her hand and drops his mouth to her core, licking, biting and sucking while she undulates against him. She watches in fascination as Austyn pulls out of Eric and disposes his condom, and begins stroking himself.

"Eric." Austyn says quietly and Eric turns from Tris and takes Austyn into his mouth.

Austyn drops his own mouth to her aching core, and she's in pure bliss as she watches Eric continue to suck Austyn off while Austyn pleasures her.

"I'm gonna come..." Tris says and she bucks against Austyn's face and squeezes his head with her thighs, "Fuck yeah, Eric... oh god Eric..." She calls her lovers name even though he's not the one bringing her to this orgasm.

Her eyes are closed when she feels the head of a cock rubbing at her lips and when she takes it in her mouth she can tell it's not Eric. She sucks on Austyn hard and when she feels Eric's mouth on her she begins moaning around Austyn's cock. Soon, he moves out of her mouth and strokes himself, painting her breasts and stomach with his seed as she comes again against Eric's face, grinding hard against his mouth as she rides out her bliss.

She's completely boneless, and she doesn't know who cleans her up, but when Eric gently pulls her underwear and pants back up, then helps her into her tank top she realizes it was likely him. Austyn sees they need a moment, so he excuses himself to go get cleaned up and tells them to take whatever time they need.

Eric presses his lips to her shoulder, "I've never been with anyone like you, never once has someone not judged me for the things I like. You're the first woman I've been with that I've ever admitted to having sex with a man to." He says quietly, "You're definitely the first woman I've been with while also having sex with a man."

"We trust each other." She says, turning towards him, "There's no one in this faction I trust more than you."

"Same. I've really never had anything like this in my life. It confuses me at times, which I'm sure you're well aware of." He says and chuckles nervously.

She's never seen this side of Eric, where he's showing vulnerability. She moves closer to him and wraps her arms around his broad shoulders and leaning her forehead to his.

"It's okay to not have all the answers, Eric. I don't expect you to. What I do want is to have a conversation-"

His phone rings and when he sees Max's name on the display he frowns, "I'm so sorry, I have to take this. Don't leave, okay?" She nods at him and he answers the phone.

She only hears Eric's part of the conversation, and she can tell he's frustrated by his short answers. She runs her fingers through his messy hair and presses her lips to his cheek, very close to his lips. She waves and he looks pensive, and he reaches out and grabs her hand.

"Please don't leave." He says with the phone pulled away from his mouth.

"This sounds important. I'll be out in the living room with Austyn." She says quietly and he nods.

She finds Austyn in the living room, sitting on his couch with a towel around his hips, "You two looked like you needed time, so I showered. Please forgive me for wearing a towel in my living room." He grins.

She's never been more appreciative for the normalcy of her friendship with him as she is right in this moment.

"I'm just waiting for Eric, the phone call he took sounded important."

"You okay?" He asks cautiously and she nods.

"Yeah, I was afraid it was going to make things awkward but I'm surprisingly okay. Are you?"

"I am, that was pretty amazing." He grins at her and she blushes, "None of that. This changes nothing, you two have been hot and heavy for months now."

"Yeah, but tonight, wow." She replies.

"He's good, and so big, you are a lucky girl. I was so hoping he'd top, but that man is completely dedicated to you." He grins at her.

"Maybe." She says quietly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks and she nods again, "And we're okay?" He asks and she gives him another nod, "Do you think Eric will be?"

"We've been pretty adventurous with each other, but you're the first we've actually both been into." She replies.

"You two have tried this before?" He asks and she shakes her head.

"Not with another man." She admits.

"I take it he was there for the unsuccessful try with another woman." He stated and she nods, "You were the one not into it?"

"I was uncomfortable, maybe it was because I had other stuff on my mind, or maybe it's who it was with, but I didn't like any of it. I felt like the other woman was only there to try to get with Eric, and I was there just because he required it."

"I don't think he's like that, from what I've seen he defers to you on everything related to the two of you. It's surprising, because he's a man who likes to be in control, and he lets that go with you."

"I don't know about that." Tris says quietly, but her wistful smile speaks volumes to Austyn.

"Tris, that man is absolutely crazy about you. You know this thing is serious, why are you denying it?"

"There's still a conversation that he and I need to have." She sighs.

"I know, I know, you've told me he clams up and refuses to acknowledge that he's madly in love with you and ready to marry you and have a million babies together." Austyn says with a huge grin.

Tris is about to throw a smart ass comment back at Austyn, but she sees Eric standing frozen in the hallway.

"I need to go." He says when he meets Tris's eyes, "I have work to do."

"Hey, I can walk with you." Tris says as she stands and moves towards him.

He quickly shrugs her off, "Don't fucking talk about me, to each other or anyone. You get it? I'm not some fucking subject of gossip." He says, his eyes flitting between the two.

"Eric, no, I didn't mean anything, it was a joke." Austyn says.

"You don't get to talk about me at all. You wanted to fuck me, now you have, let it go." Eric snarls as he makes his way to the door.

"Eric, please don't leave like this." Tris says and he shrugs her hand off of him.

"What we do was supposed to be between us. Stop running your goddamn mouth." He says angrily before stalking out the door.

She wanted Eric to experience the same thing he had tried to give her with Roni, an outlet to share a sexual experience with another person while being with her, and she wanted him to trust her to be a part of his experiences. Instead, it seems to have angered him, and she doesn't understand why.

"What just happened? What did I do?" She asks Austyn and he shakes his head.

"I have no idea."

She pulls up a text and messages him, asking if he's okay, and she sees no indication that he's read it. She puts the phone on the couch next to her and looks over at Austyn.

"Tris, he's under a boatload of stress. I don't think any of that was truly directed at us." He tries to soothe her, but she shakes her head.

"Austyn, do you know what's going on out there?" She asks and he sighs.

"I know what the leaders find necessary to share with the apprenticeship staff. He replies, "Before you ask, I can't talk about it."

"It's dangerous, I already know that much, but I just want to know if he's going to be okay."

"He's Eric, of course he will be okay. Why don't you stay here? I can sleep on the couch if you want to take the bed."

"No, I should go home. Are we okay?" She asks.

"Of course we are, love you sweets." He says as he presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Love you too."

When she gets home she groans when she looks at the time, and she takes a quick shower before laying down in her bed, hoping she will actually be able to shut her brain off so she can sleep.

Her text alert startled her, and she scrambled to grab her phone.

E: I'm sorry.

T: Do you want to talk about it?

E: I'll head to the chasm.

T: On my way.

She throws one of Eric's hoodies on over her tank top and leggings and then makes her way to the chasm. She's leaning over the railing and watching the water below when she feels a warm body behind her, and a chin resting on her shoulder.

"Come home with me." He says in his deep voice. She takes a breath in, smelling the familiar scent of his shampoo, but also the thick spice of the whisky on his breath.

"Eric..."

"I just want to spend time with you, alone, just us. Not just getting undressed enough to fuck, but sitting on my couch and cuddling. I just want to be alone with you. Why can't we?" He asks and she is hit with a strong odor of the whisky on his breath and hears the whiny slur of his voice.

"Baby, how much did you drink before coming here?" She asks him softly and he just buries his face in her neck, "What happened with Max?"

"Can't talk about it." He replies.

"Can you tell me if you're going to be okay?" She asks.

"I'm okay now that I'm with you. Can we go somewhere alone?" He asks.

"Follow me." She says and she feels him nod against her. She threads their hands together and leads him away from the chasm, taking the familiar path to the initiate entrance, which is currently closed at the rooftop since a class is already in session. She climbs into the net and he crawls in with her, pulling her next to him and wrapping his arms around her as they sway.

"This is nice." He murmurs and she nods against his chest.

"I agree." She replies, "I worry about you." She sighs, "I know things outside of here are weighing heavy on you. I also know that my father is having the same stress. You can trust me, if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here."

"Trust," He scoffs, "You don't trust me."

"You know that I do-" She begins but he cuts her off.

"You don't trust me enough to come to my apartment. Or kiss me. Or admit to any of your friends that we're involved, except the ones you want to fuck."

"That's not fair at all. What we did tonight was for both of us." She tries to pull away and he holds her tighter.

"I know. I'm an asshole." He sighs, "Just kiss me, one time, just give me that."

"Not while you're drunk." She says.

"Will you kiss me when I sober up?" He asks.

"You know how I feel about kissing, Eric. It's intimate, it changes the dynamic of what we're doing."

"What's wrong with changing it?" He asks her.

"We shouldn't be talking about this while you're this drunk." She replies carefully.

"I'm sure I want you. Why isn't that enough?"

"Because I don't want to just be your fuck buddy anymore." She finally says.

"So, you just want a title?" He asks angrily.

She knows he's drunk but she's had enough, "That was uncalled for. I'm not asking for a title, I'm asking for you to tell me how you feel and what you want this to be."

"Feelings are complicated."

"We agreed if feelings get involved, we'd stop, it was literally one of our main rules when we started this." She replies softly.

"We said if there were one-sided feelings we'd end it. It's going to have to be you that tells me that the feelings are one-sided, because it's sure as fuck not me." He replies and she once again gets that feeling that she can't breathe.

"You're drunk." She accuses.

"It doesn't matter. I can drink an entire factory of whisky and know that this is real. You figure it out, and if you can't I'll continue to take whatever you're willing to give me. If you want it to be over, you're going to have to tell me that."

"You've told me repeatedly that you don't want a relationship." She replies.

"I didn't." He replies.

"And you're telling me that you do now?" Tris asks.

"I don't fucking know. I just know that this is real. Why do we have to decide right this damn second?" He asks.

"You're talking in circles."

"Welcome to my head." He replies.

Neither of them say anything for several minutes, and when she finally has the nerve to speak she replies, "What if I told you the only reason I've been so evasive with you is because I've been afraid of losing what we have? What if the little bubble we've been living in just bursts? You made these rules, and I've respected them because I have rules of my own. Why can't you do that for me? You won't ever just give me an answer, you talk in riddles and I don't know if you actually want to commit to me. I don't know if you'll be able to be with just one person, much less just a woman. You won't just have a serious conversation with me that doesn't involve alcohol or sex. Why can't you understand that I'm fucking scared, Eric?"

He says nothing, and she's afraid to look at him. When she finally does she realizes he's asleep. She doesn't know what he's been dealing with, but from what little he's told her, along with what Austyn and Peter have observed from their roles in the apprenticeship program she knows there's something dangerous happening outside the safety of their faction. She knows that Eric carries a heavy load at a young age, and she's just tried to be there for him in whatever capacity that he needed her to be.

Tonight, he just needed to be held, and to know there's a possibility that she cares for him more than she's ready to admit. With that, he finally felt at ease, and he sleeps.

She lays her head back on his chest and threads her fingers through his. The last thing she thinks about before she closes her eyes is that maybe she needed that too.

"I'm sure about us Eric, but I need you to be sure too because I can't imagine losing this." She whispers against his chest before she surrenders to her own exhaustion.