Trevor did something to the disclaimer telling you that I don't own Ghosts. This is just some madness and fluff from my tiny mind.

A Haunting Of Ghosts

It was an unusually warm afternoon for the fall, so Sam decided to take her laptop and work outside for a bit. She and her husband Jay had recently bought some nice patio furniture for the back of the mansion. She figured she could get some work done, some fresh air and some alone time.

Well, she could get at least one of those things done.

As soon as she put her laptop down on a small table and sat down, she realized she wasn't alone. She turned and saw Trevor lying on one of the new lawn chairs, arms folded on his chest. "Trevor!"

"What?" He remarked, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Could you leave?" Sam sighed.

"Why?" Trevor lay there. "I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just relaxing and taking a nap. Or at least trying to take a nap."

Sam noticed Trevor's position. "Why are you sleeping with your arms folded like that? You look like a…"

"Corpse?" Trevor opened one eye and looked at her.

"Oh right," Sam blinked. "I have to ask…Do you automatically sleep like that or…?"

"I guess so," Trevor shrugged as he opened his eyes and sat up. "It just feels comfortable to me."

"Where are the other ghosts?" Sam asked.

"Oh, they're arguing about scarves or something," Trevor waved. "Honestly when it gets that boring, I just go outside to take a nap. Especially if it's nice outside. I mean I can't really feel that much of the sun. No skin. But sometimes…Sometimes I can almost feel something you know?"

"I know!" Flower popped her head out of the bushes.

"AAAH!" Sam startled. "Flower what are you doing in there?"

"Pretending to be a bush," Flower told her as it was the most obvious thing in the world as she walked out.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"It's a Flower thing," Trevor sighed.

"I just like to be connected to the Earth sometimes," Flower explained as she sat on the ground near Sam. "I know I'm a spirit but as a ghost I'm a tethered spirit. Every now and then I try to get a little more tethered. And take a nap."

"So, ghosts take naps?" Sam was interested.

"Some more than others," Flower shrugged. "I like naps."

"I only take them when I'm really bored or tired." Trevor sighed. "I never really took naps before I died. I mean maybe a quick one after a big party. But that was rare. Usually, I'd just chug a pot of coffee, down an energy drink. Take something and I was good to go."

"I've seen movies about Wall Street," Sam looked at Trevor. "I can imagine what you were taking."

"I wasn't that bad," Trevor defended. "I was more of a casual user. Alcohol was more my thing."

"Alcohol is a drug, Trevor," Sam told him. "And those drugs can affect your heart even with casual use you know?"

"Well, I do now!" Trevor grumbled.

"Oh, like Trevor and I are the only ones here who did drugs," Flower waved. "I mean come on! Hetty used to take cocaine and other drugs practically every day. Alberta drank and smoked refer with her bootleg and Jazz buddies. Crash smoked marijuana and drank alcohol a lot. Isaac admitted he used to use opium every now and then for headaches…"

"Seriously?" Sam was surprised.

"Apparently it was the colonial version of aspirin," Trevor shrugged. "Isaac took a lot of it when he contracted dysentery."

"You think a guy who took that many drugs wouldn't be so uptight," Flower added. "My point is most of us have done drugs in one form or another."

"That might explain a few things," Sam remarked.

"Hey we're not doing drugs now," Trevor told her. "Admittedly because we can't. Besides can you honestly say you've never experimented?"

"This isn't about me!" Sam snapped.

"That means she smoked weed," Flower told Trevor.

"I didn't smoke weed!" Sam bristled. "I had a marijuana brownie once. At a party. By accident."

"Suuurree you did," Flower snickered.

"You need to learn to be honest with yourself, babe," Trevor smirked.

"Let's just turn the topic back to naps," Sam sighed. "Can ghosts dream?"

"Of course, ghosts dream," Flower told her. "That's a silly question."

"I try to dream about when I was alive," Trevor sighed. "And some of the women I was with."

"I dream about Ira," Flower told them. "And world peace. And butterflies. And the day Zarthgon The Star Bringer comes down to Earth to collect the lost souls of the world and take them to be reborn on his home planet."

"What?" Sam did a double take.

"Flower's cult had some very interesting ideas about the afterlife," Trevor quipped.

"Zarthgon can still come to collect us," Flower said. "He likes ghosts. He can turn them into magical butterfly people."

"Really?" Sam kept a straight face.

"The best part is Zarthgon welcomes all denominations and religions," Flower went on. "All you have to do is say he's your friend and you're in! Whenever he comes of course."

"Of course," Sam said politely.

"That's how I got all the ghosts here to say they'd be his friend," Flower smiled dreamily. "And when he comes, we can all go be butterfly people together! Forever and ever!"

"Seriously?" Sam looked at Trevor.

"Look we all know it's a billion to one shot," Trevor looked at Sam. "But when you've been here long enough, any possibility of escape sounds good!"

"Let's get back to naps," Sam sighed. "Anything more about naps for ghosts?"

"Ghosts can sleep a long time if they want to," Flower added. "Or need to."

Trevor spoke up. "Thor told me once he took a nap and he slept several decades. When he woke up, he saw the Lenape move in. Apparently, one walked right over him and caused him to wake up."

"I guess if you're a ghost all alone it's a time saver," Flower remarked. "I wonder what it would be like to sleep for decades? To have time pass you by as you stay in a state of singularity?"

"I don't have to wonder," Trevor grumbled. "I lived it the twenty something years I've been here. The creepy old lady didn't even have a TV! And almost never read a newspaper! Or a magazine! And don't get me started about the radio!"

"She was a bummer," Flower nodded. "I mean I know it's not nice to say it because she was Hetty's relative and your relative Sam. But she was a major downer."

"She made Hetty look like the hostess at the Kit Kat Club," Trevor grumbled. "The last seven years of her life were horrible for us. True she almost never got out of bed and we all had free reign of the house. But…"

"It was so boring!" Flower moaned. "No parties. No music."

"No TV!" Trevor added. "I did mention that right?"

"Thank God I was able to commune with the cosmic force of nature and talk to butterflies," Flower sighed. "I mean the butterflies didn't have that much to say. They're kind of flighty. And not very good listeners. And for some reason they go on and on about nectar. And on and on and…" She then stopped.

"Flower?" Sam blinked as Flower appeared frozen for a moment.

"Give her a minute," Trevor sighed. "She gets like that every now and then."

Flower then blinked. "I'm sorry what were we talking about again?"

"Just making random conversation," Trevor sighed.

"Another thing I wanted to ask," Sam remarked. "I noticed you ghosts all stand together a lot. Why do you do that?"

"Safety in numbers," Trevor shrugged.

"It makes us feel safe," Flower added. "More connected. And sometimes we touch each other so that we know that we're here. We can't really touch anything else. Well, most of us can't."

"It's an imperfect gift," Trevor admitted. "I can't feel as much as livings can. It's more like a push or shove."

"So, you all stand together to feel safe," Sam remarked. "Like a flock of birds."

Trevor blinked. "What's a group of ghosts called?"

"I know we're not a flock," Flower remarked. "Because we're not birds."

"And we're not a herd," Trevor asked. "Even though we act like it sometimes."

"I don't think a group of ghosts have a specific term," Sam told them.

"That doesn't seem right," Flower blinked. "We should come up with that. What would you call a group of ghosts?"

"Haunting maybe?" Sam asked.

"A haunting of ghosts?" Trevor blinked. "That does sound right. A bit on the nose but…"

"Or a gathering?" Flower added. "A gathering of ghosts?"

"A glimmer of ghosts?" Sam shrugged.

"Ooh that sounds pretty," Flower nodded. "A gleaming of ghosts?"

"An apparition of ghosts!" Trevor added.

"A host of ghosts!" Sam smiled. "Or a body of ghosts?"

"That makes no sense," Flower said. "Ghosts don't have bodies."

"A happening of ghosts," Trevor added. "Let's be honest things do happen around us."

"How about a choir of ghosts?" Sam mused.

"It makes us sound like we're on tour," Trevor waved.

"A horde of ghosts," Flower thought. "No that makes us sound like Vikings. I think that only applies to Thor or other Viking ghosts."

"I once heard of the term a plague of ghosts," Sam admitted. "But I'm guessing you guys don't like that term."

"Maybe that applies to the ghosts in the cholera pit?" Trevor shuddered. "But no. Not us."

"There should be a formal term of a group of ghosts," Sam told them.

"I know, right?" Trevor nodded.

Sam realized something else. "I've also noticed that you guys don't always stay together."

"Sometimes ghosts need to go off and do their own thing," Flower shrugged. "We never question it. Because let's face it we can't go anywhere. We just know when to give them their own space."

"We always come back," Trevor sighed. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to not come back."

"Trevor, you have to learn to let your mind go," Flower told him.

"That's what I'm worried about," Trevor groaned. "Seriously Sam before you came, I was starting to slip."

"Starting?" Sam quipped.

Both Flower and Trevor snickered at that. "Yeah, being a ghost can be…" Flower began. Then she noticed something. "Butterfly!" She jumped up and started chasing it around.

"Uh…" Sam blinked. "Another Flower thing?"

"She likes chasing butterflies," Trevor sighed. "I admit it. I was so bored one time I tried it once. Not my thing."

"You prefer to chase women," Sam quipped.

"Hey! That's funny!" Trevor pointed. "You are funny! It's also true."

"I can't picture you chasing butterflies," Sam snickered. Then it hit her. "Oh God. Now I can picture you chasing butterflies."

"It's a good picture, isn't it?" Trevor smirked.

"You are disgusting," Sam groaned.

"What? That I have a good body and people know it?" Trevor raised his eyebrow. "Please Sam. I've seen you check me out when you think I'm not looking."

"I do not check you out."

"You do."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"I do not!" Sam snapped. "Don't be childish. And I do not infinity!"

"Fine, just saying," Trevor shrugged. "If you ever want a good look all you have to do is ask."

"You are impossible!" Sam rolled her eyes.

"I'm just saying manners are important," Trevor protested. "I don't go into the bathroom when you're in there. I respect boundaries. I do! I know you think I'm this wild sex crazed party animal but I have more depth than that."

"Oh please," Flower stopped chasing the butterfly and looked at Trevor. "I know what you do in your hidden spot out in the yard where you think no one can see you."

"That's because Hetty complained so much whenever I sunbathed on the front lawn," Trevor pointed out. "Not like anyone else could see anything!"

"Oh, we saw everything," Flower giggled.

"You mean he…?" Sam did a double take.

"Unbuttons his shirt and lets everything hang out," Flower grinned. "And I mean everything!"

"You're the one who peeps on me!" Trevor protested. "And Alberta."

"Come on we always ask permission," Flower told him.

"That's true," Trevor shrugged. "As long as you ask…"

"Oh God," Sam winced. "I didn't want to know that!"

"Funny thing about not wearing pants for over twenty years," Trevor gave her a look. "You kind of lose some hang ups about modesty. I admit it. Sometimes it feels good having the grass against my tuckus!"

"Remember the first time you did that?" Flower started laughing. "Hetty had a fit!"

"And it was during some garden party," Trevor smirked. "That was a fun day."

"Ugh…" Sam made a noise of disgust.

"What?" Trevor protested. "Alberta dared me to do that!"

"She did," Flower nodded. "And it was funny!"

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" Trevor got an idea. "Hetty really hated that."

"Trevor…" Sam realized Trevor was up to trouble. "What are you thinking? Oh no…No! Trevor don't! You can't!"

"Oh, but I can," Trevor grinned as he stood up.

"Trevor, I know you're upset at Hetty for what she did," Sam sighed. "But you don't really want to get back at her like this do you?"

"After what she did to me?" Trevor had a look in his eye. "With that trying to send me to Hell stunt? Yes. Yes, I do!" He stormed off loosening his tie.

"Oh God…" Sam put her head into her hands.

"Yeah, you might not want to look at the front lawn for a bit," Flower snickered.

"TREVOR!" Hetty screamed.

"Not planning on it," Sam groaned.

"TREVOR GET OFF THE FRONT LAWN!" Hetty screamed. "OR AT THE VERY LEAST BUTTON UP YOUR SHIRT!"

"DEAR GOD MAN HAVE YOU NO SHAME?" Isaac was heard. "NO! NO! DON'T DO THAT!"

"Huh I would have thought Isaac wouldn't have a problem with that," Sam blinked.

"Isaac sees Trevor as kind of an adopted nephew once removed," Flower explained. "In other words, like family. So…So what am I doing here? See you, Sam!" Flower ran off to watch.

"ALL RIGHT!" Alberta cheered. "IT'S THE GARDEN PARTY ALL OVER AGAIN!"

"NOT HELPING ALBERTA!" Pete was heard shouting. "TREVOR BUTTON UP YOUR SHIRT! PLEASE!"

"Some home owners have mice," Sam groaned. "Some have cockroaches. I have a ghost that likes to flash people on my lawn."

"TREVOR GET OFF THE LAWN!" Hetty shouted. "OFF THE LAWN! OFF THE LAWN YOU ILL BRED DEGENERATE!"

"Maybe a plague of ghosts isn't that farfetched?" Sam groaned.