Title: Warmed by the Fire
This has been a day from hell. Nothing has gone right, and I'm running late. I'm driving too fast and need to slam on the brakes as I pull into my driveway. I check my watch and see I'll be cutting it close, but I have just enough time to get changed before my date with James tonight.
I jump out of my car and make it to the top step of my porch when I'm interrupted by the voice of my neighbor, Jasper. My smoking hot neighbor, to be exact.
"Afternoon, Alice. What's got you in such a hurry?" he asks.
My face flushes as his slow southern drawl flows over me like molasses. I take a calming breath before turning around to face him, hoping he'll think my blush is due to my rushing. His warm smile and smoky gray eyes draw me in, and I want to melt into him. But there is no room for that in my life.
"Hi, Jasper," I say with an embarrassed smile. "I wish I could talk, but I'm running late. I'm meeting James for dinner, and I only have a few minutes to get changed and get to the restaurant on time. Don't want to be late."
His smile falters slightly at the mention of James before turning flirty. "That's okay, darlin'," you're worth the wait. Don't let James tell you otherwise. See you later."
I gasp as I watch Jasper turn around and walk back towards his house. Jasper's been my neighbor for about six months, and while he's always been friendly, his eyes twinkled with hidden secrets when he told me I was worth the wait.
I admit I have a crush on Jasper; that just being around him makes me yearn for things I've never wanted before. But those things aren't real, and they do not last.
I'd seen that firsthand growing up as my mother moved on from one guy to the next. She was certain each new guy was 'the one,' but the fire she so desperately sought would burn itself out, leaving her alone once again.
I won't make that same mistake. Instead, I date guys like James - nice guys I can have fun with without expecting anything more. I know we're never gonna catch fire, so I'll never get burned.
I push my feelings for Jasper aside. I can't think about his words and what they might mean. I have a date with James in a few minutes, and that's all I can deal with right now.
- WBTF -
Sunday mornings are my favorite. My back deck is the perfect spot to sit, drink my morning coffee, and decompress after another busy week. It's the best part of my home. The tall trees in my yard provide a cooling shade when the sun is at its highest, but let in the warming rays of the early sun.
I think back over my interaction with Jasper on Friday night. Before he moved in next door, I'd considered my life practically perfect. I own my own boutique, design most of the jewelry and clothing I sell there and have wonderful customers that feel like family. I date and have fun, keeping it casual and not all-consuming. I know it's not the life my mother was always searching for, but I don't believe that life exists.
Even so, I can't get Jasper's comment out of my head. It was such a simple thing, but what does it mean? Is he waiting for me? He's never said anything like that before. He's never even asked me out.
I quickly glance over to Jasper's house and see he's also out having coffee on his back deck. He hasn't noticed me yet, so I take a few moments to watch him. His blond hair shines in the early sunlight, while the light breeze makes his curls swirl around his head. He really is beautiful. He's lost in his thoughts, and I wonder if he is thinking about me. The idea that he might be both thrills and scares me.
Against my better judgment, I call out to him. I can't help it; I crave the feeling of being around him. I just need to be careful and keep it friendly. Jasper turns when he hears me call his name and gives me that sexy smile that makes my stomach flutter. "Good morning, darlin'. You're a beautiful start to my day."
There's no hiding my blush this time. "Why don't you bring your coffee over here and join me on my deck for a while?" I offer, emboldened by his words.
"My pleasure," he says as he quickly stands, grabs his coffee cup, and walks over to join me.
My eyes are glued to Jasper as he walks towards me. His jeans, tattered from what must be years of wear, hang low on his hips while his T-shirt perfectly displays the muscles in his arms and chest. This man is the hottest thing on two legs. He winks when he notices me watching him.
"Did you make it on time to your date with Jason the other night?" he asks after sitting next to me.
"His name is James, but I know you already know that," I say with a laugh.
"Jason, James, Jacob…I don't care what his name is. Why are you dating that loser?"
"Oh, come on, Jasper. James is a nice guy," I playfully argue. "And it's just a casual thing. That's all I have room for in my life."
"You deserve more than that, Alice. You deserve to be happy."
"I am happy, Jasper," I say as he gives me a skeptical look. "And why do you care, anyway?" I ask, knowing this is a dangerous game I'm playing. I'm nervous in anticipation, waiting for his response.
"I think you know, Alice," he growls, his gray eyes staring directly into mine. The intensity of his gaze once again takes my breath away. I try to turn my eyes away, but they are glued to his.
"I need you to tell me, Jasper," I whisper, not sure he's even heard me.
But he has heard me. Instead of with words, Jasper responds with a kiss. His lips are soft but firm as they meet mine. The kiss starts sweet and slow but grows in fervency as our tongues meet. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as Jasper's hands caress the sides of my face. My arms move up on their own until I run my hands through his silky curls.
I've never been kissed like this before. I now understand the fire my mother would talk about; what it means to feel the flames. I could kiss Jasper forever, and it would still never be enough. As our kiss slowly comes to an end, Jasper and I stare at each other, breathing heavily. His grey eyes are burning with the same desire I feel inside me.
"That is why I care, Alice." He says my name with a reverence I've never heard from anyone before.
At this moment, it's hard to think about anything other than the fire burning inside me. I've spent my whole life making sure I don't turn into my mother, only dating guys I knew I'd never fall in love with. But Jasper has changed everything. This new feeling is exhilarating, and that scares me. Jasper is the first man it would break me to lose. I'm not ready to risk that; I need to get out now.
"I can't do this, Jasper," I say, barely holding back the tears.
"Alice?" Jasper looks confused, not expecting that response from me.
"I'm sorry. It's too much; I can't." I stand and try to make my way past Jasper when he grabs my hand.
"I'm not letting you walk away from me, Alice. What are you afraid of?" He gets up, standing so close I can feel his heart beating.
"You don't understand, Jasper. You are amazing, and kissing you was the single best feeling I've had in my life. But it's too much. I'm afraid of losing myself."
"Darlin', I'd never let you lose yourself. That would hurt me as much as it hurts you," he says with so much sincerity I can't help but believe him.
"I'm scared. There's so much going on in my head you don't understand," I admit. Am I ready to explain why I've spent a lifetime settling, in order to protect myself?
"Then tell me, Alice. Tell me everything. I think we have something here. Seeing you come home every evening, spending a few minutes talking to you before you go in…that's the highlight of my day. I've never met anyone as sweet and dedicated and beautiful as you are. I want to know everything about you."
Jasper says all of the right things., I unknowingly had closed off part of my heart, but listening to his words, that wall begins to crack. I'm just not sure I'm ready to tear it down completely.
I open my mouth a couple of times to say something more, but the words won't come.
As Jasper watches me struggle to say something, he offers his own words instead.
"I'm not trying to rush you, Alice. We can take things slow...we can move at your pace. I meant it when I said you are worth the wait."
The feelings I had unwittingly buried deep down are boiling to the surface. I owe it to myself to give him a chance…to give us a chance. It will be hard work, but I think with Jasper there beside me, our future might be magical.
"I need you to be patient with me. It's not going to be easy."
Jasper's eyes brighten as he hears the intention in my words. "I'm not looking for easy, darlin;' I just want to be with you. I'm right here for you, in any way you need me."
His words calm me and fill me with hope. "Can we start with a hug?" I ask shyly, needing to feel the warmth of his arms surrounding me.
"Absolutely," he says as he envelopes me against his chest.
I pray this fire will warm me forever.
