A crack of thunder. A flash of steel. Blood.
So much blood.
Squall opened his eyes and it all came back to him. His and Seifer's training had taken a turn for the worse when Seifer had struck him across the face with his gunblade. Squall had retaliated and then everything had gone black.
There was fury in his gut but, somehow, there was no pain on his face.
He was in the infirmary, he realised. Dr Kadowaki took note that her patient had opened his eyes and started toward him.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"My… forehead doesn't hurt."
"Yes, about that," she started, her eyes wandering. "It's difficult to explain. Here," she passed him a hand mirror and Squall reciprocated with a frown.
The fury in his gut was replaced by anxiety. What had Seifer done to him? Had he mangled him so badly that he now resembled a Funguar? He was worried that the mirror might shatter into a million pieces if he looked into it.
He gulped before revealing himself in the mirror. He was… he was…
Beautiful.
His skin was unblemished and glowing. His eyes shimmered healthily. His hair was smooth and shiny, like the surface of this mirror which was yet to crack. There were no pixels to be seen. Every part of his face was visible in glorious high definition. And, better yet, there was no scar.
What had Seifer done to him?
"H-how?" He stammered, looking at Kadowaki for answers.
"I have no clue," she said, sweat lacing her brow. "But, Squall, you have to understand that it is completely unprofessional for a doctor and patient to have any romantic relationship! Plus, I'm twice your age!"
What the heck was she talking about?
"I-I'll go call Quistis, now!" And she quickly left.
What was that all about? Squall wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"Squall."
He jumped when a girl he didn't know appeared beside his bed, leaning over him.
"We meet agai—" she started. "Wait, do I know you?"
"Uh."
"N-nevermind!" She stood up, her face beet red. "N-no, I can't think of you like that—we're related! Well, not by blood, though. W-wait, that's a spoiler!" She then dramatically exited the room, her arms swinging wildly in the air.
Before Squall could even react to whatever that was, the door to the infirmary slid open and his teacher, Quistis, appeared.
"Oh, Hyne," she said, her mouth hanging open. "And it was already hard enough hiding my feelings for you."
Did she mean to say that out loud? Even Squall knew it was obvious that Quistis fancied the poorly pixelated pants off of him.
"Your field… thingy is today," she said as if she were in a trance.
Field exam?
He decided to go with her to class, despite the fact that the constant staring was creeping him out.
And the staring continued as they walked down the hallway.
"Have I got something on my—"
"Face?" She finished his sentence for him. He hated when she did that.
It wasn't just her, either—every student that passed them had their eyes glued to him.
"You know," Quistis started, "I have a whip."
"And?" He replied.
"What about the glasses? You like the glasses? And I'm your teacher. Surely something there does it for you?"
"This is inappropriate," he said.
Honestly, he wasn't even sure if it was his new face that was making Quistis act like this—she always flirting with him. She was so thirsty he was surprised she hadn't learnt Aqua Breath.
To his relief, they had arrived at class. Three students—two girls and a boy—were standing waiting for them inside, their hands clasped together and their eyes fused dreamily on Quistis.
"The Trepies are here and accounted for, Instructo—" the frontmost one's vision lifted from the teacher to Squall. "Oh my!" She said, shoving Quistis to the side so hard she went vaulting over her desk.
"Screw that loser, Quistis Trep… whatever her name is!" She continued. "From now on, we're the Squal… lies? The Leonhart… ies? The Leonharties! That works."
Quistis returned to their sides, her hair a mess and her glasses crooked. "Normally, I'd expel you for that but I suppose I don't blame you."
Squall wished she would expel them.
"Alright, everyone, back to your seats!"
Squall did as ordered but the Leonharties simply followed him so they could stand and stare. Squall caught Seifer also staring. The blonde had a big ugly scar on his pixely face. Seifer looked down at the gunblade—which, for some reason, he was allowed to have in class—that had caused Squall's amazing transformation.
"What the heck?" He said to it, disheartened. "How's that fair?"
"Seifer," Quistis yelled. "Do harm your fellow students during training. Especially if it results in whatever happened to Squall."
Seifer slammed his fist onto his desk. "Stupid sexy, Squall!"
At the end of class, Quistis beckoned Squall over to her, the Lionharties closely following behind.
"We're going to the Fire Cavern," she said.
"But you didn't even ask if I've already completed that test," Squall replied.
"We're going to the Fire Cavern," she said sternly before exiting the classroom.
So he'd be all alone with his attractive teacher? That would be the worst thing ever!
"All alone with Squall?" His fan club whined, simultaneously clicking their fingers in disappointment.
This was really starting to get creepy and annoying. Squall didn't want a fan club—he wanted to be left alone to brood.
"I'm not having anyone talk about me in the past tense!" He randomly said before storming out of the classroom.
He groaned when his fan club scuttled after him. He groaned again when he saw Quistis waiting outside the class. "I thought you were going to the Fire Cavern?"
"I want to make sure no one flirts with yo—I-I mean, I want to make sure you get there safely."
This was ridiculous. Squall wished he was all pixelated, again.
He stomped up the hallway but didn't get very far as a student slammed into him. It was probably someone else who was going to worship the ground he walked on.
She hopped back onto her feet, her eyes wide and jaw dropped. "I'm Selphie from Trabia Garden! Can you show me around? Do you want to join the Garden Festival? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you like trains? What's your favourite GF? What's your favourite magic spell? Do you like hotdogs?"
Squall simply ignored her, his ears pounding from the questions. He couldn't take anymore. All he wanted to do was lie down in his bed in peace and quiet.
Squall and his annoying fans continued towards the elevator.
"Hey, man, you want some cards?" Some guy said before he could reach his destination. "Wh-whoa!" He stammered, entranced by Squall's face like everyone else was. "J-just take all of my cards! You want me to get you some more? I heard Ifrit's got a pretty cool one! Just give me a sec and I'll go get it for yo—"
"NO!" Squall shouted, startling everyone. "TRIPLE TRIAD IS FUN UNTIL THEY START ADDING ALL OF THOSE ANNOYING, STUPID RULES!"
He hurried into the elevator, his fans squishing their ugly, pixelated faces against the glass as he descended to the first floor.
Squall slid down onto his backside, hugging his knees as tears fell from his eyes. "I don't wanna be HD, anymore. I'd give anything to be pixelated, again."
And then a light engulfed the elevator, blinding him briefly. Was it an angel?
It was a PlayStation One with wings. The disc tray opened and another flash of light robbed him of his sight. Once he was able to open his eyes again, he saw that there was a disc of Final Fantasy VIII inside. He scooped it out and turned it around to see his reflection.
His wish had been granted. Staring back was a pixelated mess of eyes and hair.
The doors opened and he ran out, happiness swelling inside him as if he'd just used Devour on a Belhelmel. He grabbed a little girl by the shoulders, and while she screamed he shouted in her face: "I'm ugly, again!" And then he swung the terrified girl around by the arms as the students around them beat the crap out of him for scaring a little girl. But it was okay because the bruises and cuts only made him uglier.
And then Rinoa appeared out of nowhere riding Angelo. "Aw, I didn't even get to say my line." And then she rode off into the sunset and everyone lived happily ever after—except the little girl who was traumatised for life.
