A/N: Characters may be a little OOC here. Hopefully, you all enjoy it anyways. This follows "War and Peace", an alternate ending to the book where Johnny and Dally don't die.
However, unlike "War and Peace" (which was in first person and past tense), this story is in third person and present tense. If you think about it, it makes sense because the first story is essentially the ending of Ponyboy's theme (so it had to be written that way).
Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders in any way, shape, or form!
Trigger Warning: ~
!~~~T~H~E~~O~U~T~S~I~D~E~R~S~~~!
Aftershocks
"With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world." – Dalai Lama
"I opened my composition book and titled my theme 'A Different Sunset', and I finally started my theme like this:
'When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home...'"
Ponyboy yawns and stretches his clamped-up body after finally finishing his theme. He breathes an inward sigh of relief, because this means he can finally go to sleep. The showerhead in the bathroom suddenly turning on prevents him from doing so, however.
Because it means that someone is awake, and if someone is awake, soon the rest of the house will be as well. The only way that's possible is if it's morning.
Sure enough, in the living room, Two-Bit and Steve begin stirring from their slumber. The first thing Two-Bit sees is Pony sitting at the table, stretching, so he calls out to him, "Mornin', Pony."
"Is it technically morning if you've never gone to sleep?" the youngest asks. He was so absorbed in his theme, he hadn't noticed the sun steadily rise over the horizon to signal the start of a new day.
"You've been up all night?" Steve asks, the thickness of his voice making it obvious that he just woke up.
As Ponyboy nodded, Soda's frantic voice sounded from the bedroom, calling, "Pony! Pony, where are you?" Yep, sure enough, he panicked when he woke up to find his brother's side of the bed empty.
"Kitchen," Pony tiredly calls back.
Sodapop is in the kitchen within the next second, and he breathes a heavy sigh of relief when he lays eyes on his little brother. "Don't scare me like that ever again, kiddo," he says as he leans down to rub the top of Pony's head.
Pony tiredly shrugs Soda's hand off his head, "Sorry. I just knew I couldn't go to sleep until I finished it."
"Finished what?" Soda asks, before looking down at the table, where Ponyboy's composition book rests, open-faced and completely filled. "Is that...?"
"You finished your theme?" comes Johnny's voice from the doorway. Dally stands behind him, looking like he wants to fight whoever started this commotion.
"In a single night?" Darry asks, from behind Dally. "Without sleeping?"
"Yep," Pony replies. "In one night." Once he started, he couldn't stop. He wouldn't allow himself to.
"That's awesome, man," Two-Bit says, reaching over to pick up the book. "Can we read it?"
But Ponyboy reaches the composition book before he can and practically slams it shut. He growls, "This is my English final, meaning it will decide my grade for the entire semester. I am not giving something so valuable to any of you until after it's served its purpose."
(There's a second purpose to it, Ponyboy knows, but the others don't know that.)
Two-Bit backs away in fear, his hands up as if surrendering, as Dally speaks up, "But you will let us read it, right?"
"We'll see," is all Ponyboy tells him. He then turns to Darry, "I know the rule, but do I really have to make breakfast if I never really went to sleep last night?"
Darry cracks a tiny smile, before gently patting his youngest brother's head, "No. You can sleep in." Thank God it was a Sunday, meaning Ponyboy didn't have to do anything today.
He takes his theme with him to his bedroom, but wisely waits until he wakes up some time after lunch to check for any grammatical errors.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
When Ponyboy comes to school the next day, he turns in his theme to Mr. Syme. It's not due until three days from now, but he knows how long it is, so he wants to give his teacher time to read it.
He turns it in before class officially begins, as students are starting to pile into the room. One of his classmates, Henry Allen, someone who likes to always arrive early, sees this exchange and can't help but say, "Overachiever, much?" Which is saying something, because this classmate is essentially the teacher's pet.
(Yep, his theme is definitely longer than anyone else's. Does he feel bad? Nope. Not at all.)
To this, Pony responds, "Sorry, but a mere five pages wouldn't have done the topic justice."
Ponyboy's not sure who he's speaking to here, Henry or Mr. Syme, but he figures he had replied to both. And that's fine with him.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
That Thursday, the day after the rest of the class turned their themes in, is the day Mr. Syme hands the graded themes back. He calls each student up one at a time to talk about their theme and their final grade.
While waiting for his name to be called, Pony thinks about the next school year as he draws on a piece of binder paper. Due to his hospital time severely cutting into his school time, Johnny is being forced to redo this year. This means that he and Pony will most likely be in most of the same classes, if not all of them. When learning this, Pony had immediately agreed to help Johnny with schoolwork if he ever asked for it, excited but also sad.
"Curtis?" Mr. Syme calls, as the student who was just with him sits down at their desk.
Ponyboy turns over the binder paper, so no one sees what he's drawing, before going up to his teacher's desk. As he sits down in the chair, he feels nervous when he doesn't think he should be. He did miss quite a bit of school thanks to his exile in Windrixville, but he tried his best to catch up thanks to make-up work and extra credit. If that didn't work, then his theme should be enough to raise his grade to at least a C, if not a B.
"Yes, Mr. Syme?" Pony asks, quiet, despite the mutter of the class behind him as they talk amongst themselves.
The man has Pony's composition book on the desk between them, "I'm going to be honest with you, Mr. Curtis. It's a good thing you handed your theme in early. Once I picked it up, I didn't want to put it down." Pony mentally pats himself on the back for the smart decision.
(See, Darry? He can use his head!)
Mr. Syme continues, "I've given your theme full marks. Y'know, Mr. Allen was correct when he called you an overacheiver," Pony grimaces, "but in this case, it paid off. You'll pass this class with an A-minus overall."
With this, Pony breathes a sigh of relief. It seems like he had nothing to worry about.
"However, there is some news I have to tell you." This got his attention. What news? "I have a friend that owns a publishing company, and when I told her about this 'overacheiver' student, she got curious. She wants to read your theme for herself, and if she likes it, she'll want to turn it into a book."
W-What? "A book?"
"Yes," Mr. Syme answers, before explaining, "But it's a process, and to start it, she needs to decide whether or not she likes it. But she can't do that until she reads your theme for herself, and she can't do that without your permission." Made sense. He was the author, after all.
Oh boy. That's a lot of pressure. "U-Um...could you give me some time to think about it? I need to check with a couple of people first."
Ponyboy's flattered. He really is. But there's a problem here. His theme features real people and real events, and some of the details are sensitive or secrets, or both. Sending in his theme without their permission doesn't sit well with him.
"Of course." Fortunately, Mr. Syme understands. "You have until the end of school tomorrow."
That wasn't enough time, is Ponyboy's first thought, but he takes it. Tomorrow is the last day of school, and thus his last chance to give his theme back to Mr. Syme without going out of his way to meet him.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
Later, Pony lets Steve and Two-Bit take him to the DX for lunch break. They have about an hour to kill, and he knows how pressed for time he already is, so he decides to act now.
As the three hang out with Sodapop by the register, Ponyboy makes his move, "Can I ask you guys something?"
"Why?" Steve asks. "You meet a girl?"
It's all in jest (they both know that), but Pony sends him an umimpressed look anyways, "No." He does his best to ignore how nervous he is, "How would you guys feel if my English teacher liked my theme so much, he wanted to turn it into a book?"
It's just one question, but it's a loaded one, because there's a lot there to unpack.
"Your English teacher wants to turn your theme into a book?" Sodapop asks.
"'If'," Pony reminds them. "What I'm asking is purely hypothetical."
It's not hypothetical. Ponyboy knows this, but Sodapop, Steve, and Two-Bit don't. He's thinking that maybe it's best if they think it's just a what-if. He doesn't want them to feel pressured into giving him answers that aren't true.
"I'd personally think it was awesome," Two-Bit is the first to respond. "A little jealous, maybe, at your talents being recognized over mine, but it'd be a book I'd actually read."
Pony's smile is tight. He's flattered, but it's not what he's looking for, "Thanks, Two-Bit, but I'd prefer a little honesty here."
"Who says I wasn't being honest, kid?" Two-Bit replies. And he is. He means every word.
Ponyboy smiles at this, but he has to explain why this is important to him, "I'm not denying that at all, Two-Bit, but I'm not kidding. I'm looking for honest answers, and...it's okay if you guys say you would mind."
"Wait," Soda cuts in. "Mind what?"
Pony pauses, before making his choice. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out his theme, the one that, five days ago, he said they couldn't read (at least until after it was graded) because he poured so much of himself into it, it's essentially his diary. He sets it down on the counter in front of them, "Read it, and you'll see why."
"Wait, you're actually letting us read it?" Steve asks, obviously remember Sunday and how protective over it Pony was.
"Yes," Ponyboy replies. "Make sure Darry, Dally, and Johnny read it too. I'll need your guys' answers to my question by tomorrow morning. And remember...it's okay if you guys don't like it."
It's not okay, at least not for Pony's pride. But for the sake of his question, he needs their answers to be as honest as possible. Because their answers will influence his decision.
As Ponyboy leaves to eat his sandwich outside, Sodapop feels somewhat concerned about his little brother's behavior. Two-Bit decides it's best to wait until Darry, Dally, and Johnny are there, before they read Pony's theme, and Soda agrees. But his mind is on something else.
He knows Ponyboy isn't lying. He's always had a sixth sense to that sort of thing. However, Pony's not being entirely truthful either. He's being honest, but not completely so. Knowing this, Sodapop wonders what his kid brother's hiding from them.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
After school, Ponyboy gives Two-Bit permission to go home without him. Since Steve has work as soon as he gets out of school, Two-Bit is his only ride, and without Two-Bit's car, Pony's only option is to walk. But he doesn't mind.
(Two-Bit's reaction to this is excitement, like he wants to. But Pony doesn't let that bother him either.)
Because he has something to do. There are three other people in his story that he also needs permission from (four, actually, but one of them is dead). Pony finds those three people down an empty hallway, next to a locker.
"Cherry!" he calls out.
Cherry turns to face him, and the other two with her, Marcia and Randy, follow her lead. "Ponyboy? What's wrong?"
"You okay, man?" Randy asks. "You seem nervous."
Here goes nothing. "I'm fine, but I need to talk you guys. Listen, my English final had me writing a five-page theme about a topic that we felt was important. Turns out my teacher liked my theme so much, he's thinking about letting a friend of his turn it into a book."
"That's great," Marcia says. "But what does that have to do with us?"
"I wrote about Bob," Pony explains. "Everything that happened. I would let you read it first, but..." he sighs in frustration, "God, I wish I had more than one copy of it."
He doesn't know what to say next, but fortunately, Cherry understands, "So you want our permission first." Pony can only nod. "You also want Bob's permission, and we're the only ones who can give it." He nods again. Cherry turns to Marcia and Randy next to her, "What do ya'll think?"
Marcia's quiet until she drops a bombshell on the young greaser, "Go for it. Whatever you wrote about us can't be any worse than our old friends calling us 'traitors'." Because the trial revealed them to be willing to befriend greasers.
"I-I didn't know that..." is all Pony can say. "I'm so sorry..." He feels like it's his fault.
"Don't be," Randy cuts in. "Remember, I told you that if I didn't show up at that rumble, I'd be marked chicken. Well, I was, and Cherry here was a spy for you greasers. Our friends didn't like that, so they kicked us out. Marcia saw us being exiled and chose to follow."
(A true friend. Marcia and Two-Bit really were so much alike.)
Ponyboy swallows the lump in his throat, knowing that despite it all being their choice, the trial did not help them one bit. He continues, "Still, I'm sorry you guys had to go through that. But what I wrote about you..." he sighs, "Again, I wish I had an extra copy, so you could read it too." But he can't. The gang has the only copy. So he chooses to admit, "I wrote it because people need to know. They need to know what it's really like, to see a friend die, to feel like your life is crashing down around you. They need to know that the people they ignore are the people who need their help the most. I wrote it from my perspective, but my story isn't the only one I told."
It's here that the three (former) Socs finally understand.
"That conversation we had," Randy quietly says, realizing what that means. "You kept that in."
That conversation at the Tasty Freeze was important. It was what first told Ponyboy that the Socs he was always hiding from were humans too, people who had their own, different set of problems. And not just from hearing about Bob's home and family, but also witnessing Randy, someone who tried to drown him, spill his emotions for the first time (in front of a greaser, no less).
Pony nods and softly adds, "Word for word." Randy looks oddly touched at this, and Pony doesn't know what to think about that.
It's a few seconds before Randy speaks, obviously needing time to think about his answer. When he does, he surprises Pony, "Thank you. From me and Bob both. I appreciate it, and I know Bob would too."
Cherry smiles at Randy's words, before turning back to the young greaser, "Ponyboy, thank you for thinking about us. Both in your theme and now. You have our permission. Because you're right. People do need to know. And if it's so important to you that you wrote a whole book about it, then...we trust you."
Pony smiles, breathing a mental sigh of relief.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
Three people down. Six more to go. But to be honest, Pony fears the gang's reactions more than those of the three (former) Socs.
When he gets home (by walking), he understands why Two-Bit was excited to go home earlier. He finds the jokester huddled with the rest of the gang, all six of them reading his theme aloud.
(He's not surprised. Two-Bit was the first to ask if they could read his theme, after all.)
Based on the line Darry's reading as Ponyboy walks in, they're in the middle of the week in Windrixville, just before Dally arrives.
The gang pauses their reading to greet Pony as he enters the house, but he stops them from asking any questions about his theme, only telling them, "Save them for tomorrow."
He fully intends to answer them tomorrow. But he can't answer them today, not until they're done reading and he's had time to prepare himself for them.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
Pony can barely sleep that night. He's too nervous about the gang's answers. What do they think? Do they hate it? Like it? Mixed feelings? Will they even given him their answers today, like he asked? Today is the last day of school, his last chance to give his theme back to Mr. Syme.
This nervousness causes him to be the first one up the next morning. After taking a quick shower, he gets started on breakfast as he waits for the others to awaken from their slumber. Darry wakes up first, of course, because he has work today, with Steve and Sodapop stirring not long after. Johnny's next, and of course, Dally's right behind him, with Two-Bit following up the rear. The gang enters the kitchen/living room in that exact order (though all in different directions), and Pony's done with breakfast (scrambled eggs and toast) by the time Darry gets out of the shower.
Johnny's the one who has his theme, and Pony can see creases in the composition book's spine, telling him that it's at least been read more than once.
Ponyboy doesn't know how to start the conversation, but it needs to be done. Fortunately, Johnny understands and begins the conversation for everybody, "We can see why you'd ask for our permission." He then holds out the theme for Pony to take.
As Pony takes his theme back, he asks, "And?" This is it. Moment of truth. What do they think? He's nervous, but he tries his best to hide it.
On the other hand, the others know how nervous he is. He's fourteen and wears his emotions on his sleeve. Ponyboy Curtis is not exactly an expert on hiding how he feels. It's usually for this reason that most of what they tell him is meant to reassure him or cheer him up, but this time, he specifically asked them to be honest.
So honesty is what they'll give him. That's what they agreed on after finishing his theme last night.
"We're flattered that you chose to write about us," Two-Bit says. "You write really well."
"But we do have questions," Steve cuts in.
"Yeah, did you two," Soda points between Pony and Steve, "really not like each other at first?"
Ah. Questions like that. "I'll answer those questions after school, I promise," Pony tells them, as he places his theme inside his backpack. His nervousness returns tenfold as he asks, "But if someone wanted to turn it into a book, that complete strangers will read, do I have your permission?"
Their eyes, in this moment, connect with his in a way that's never happened before. His green-gray eyes wordlessly tell them that this moment is important, that what they tell him will have significant power over him, and he's making that known to them. He's being vulnerable, and in this moment, he trusts them enough to let them know that.
"Yes," Darry replies without pausing, and they see the tension within Pony immediately disappear as he breathes a sigh of relief.
"Thank you," he tells them, a content smile on his face.
"You're welcome," Dally says. And he means. Their decision was made last night, after they finished the theme. "But can we ask you something now?" Pony nods as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. "Why did you ask us for our thoughts in the first place?"
Pony starts to laugh nervously, "Yeah, about that." Now, they're curious. What the hell? "Y'know that situation I said was purely hypothetical? Well...it maaaaay not be as hypothetical as I said it was."
"What?" the other six all ask, simultaneously.
"Sorry, I can't explain it right now! I have to get to school!" Pony says quickly, already halfway out the door.
He leaves the others in the dust, who are confused and intrigued, because Pony still has an hour before school starts.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
Pony leaves the house earlier than he usually does purely because he wants to give his theme back to Mr. Syme before school, to prevent any more suspicion. Well, the gang is already suspicious, thanks to him spilling the truth. He didn't want to, but he didn't want to lie to them either, so thus the reveal and quick exit.
"Are you sure?" Mr. Syme asks once Pony hands the teacher his theme for the final time (hopefully). "This is a big deal."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Pony replies. "I have permission from everyone involved, including myself."
He does need permission from himself before going through with it. Yes, he wrote about other people's stories, but it was his theme, his thoughts and feelings written down on paper.
The first purpose of the theme was for his final grade in English class that year. But the second purpose, and most important, was to tell people the reality of things they probably weren't aware of, to let people know how bad things really were, the things that needed fixing the most. His theme becoming a book would help spread that awareness. This is exactly what Ponyboy Curtis wants.
So, yes, he's sure.
Mr. Syme accepts this, "Alright. I'll get in touch with my friend, so she can read it. Once I hear back from her, no matter her choice, I'll contact you."
"Okay," Pony responds. "And if she likes it?"
"Then we'll set up a meeting to discuss the details," Mr. Syme replies. It doesn't occur to Pony until much later, but his teacher's placing himself in between them here as a buffer (a layer of protection, you could say), because Ponyboy is a minor as well as his student. "Until then, enjoy your summer break."
"Okay," Pony says. "Thank you."
Mr. Syme nods and Pony turns to the exit. On the way out, the fourteen-year-old remembers something that slipped his mind: today is the one-year anniversary of that wreck.
The one that took his parents...
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
He, surprisingly, doesn't see the gang until after school, when Two-Bit and Steve drive him to the DX, where Sodapop, Johnny, and Dallas await.
(Johnny's gotten strong enough to where he can experiment walking without the crutches, but Darry makes him use them just in case.)
Of course, now that they see him, they ask Pony about this morning, demanding that he explain what he meant. Pony promises to explain everything, but he (honestly) wants to wait until Darry gets off work and joins them. He doesn't really want to explain everything twice.
"Fine," Dally tells him, "but we're going to you to that promise."
Pony softly smiles, "I know." He doesn't expect anything less from them.
Eventually, a customer arrives with a busted up car, and Steve heads to the garage to fix it, with Johnny, Dally, and Two-Bit following him. This leaves the two Curtis brothers alone in the store. This is perfect timing because Soda can't ignore the fact that his brother's happiness is being subdued, and he has a pretty good idea why.
"You okay?" He quietly asks.
Pony's quiet as he responds to that with a question of his own, "Is it wrong that I forgot?"
Today was the anniversary of their parents' deaths, a day that's been long anticipated and expected to be rough. The whole gang knew it was coming, especially after being reminded by Ponyboy last week. But Soda knew that he, Pony, and Darry were the ones who'd be suffering today the most.
He also suspected that it may have slipped Pony's mind. A lot of things have happened during the past year, between running away to Windrixville, he and Darry finally coming to a mutual understanding, almost losing Johnny to a fire and Dally to a shower of bullets, and almost losing his big brothers at the trial due to running away in the first place. And now with this so-called 'hypothetical' situation of his English teacher wanting to turn his theme into a book.
"No, it's not," Soda replies, just as quiet. "In fact, some people would tell you it means you're healing. Besides, you've had your mind on other things lately, Mr. Not-As-Hypothetical-As-You-Said-It-Was."
Ponyboy can't stop his ears from turning red, embarrassed at the obvious call-out.
Sodapop smirks before continuing, "No, it's not wrong. If I said it was, then I'd be a hypocrite because I forgot too." It's true. He only remembered when Pony reminded them last week.
(Granted, he was only talking to Johnny at the time, but still.)
Pony manages a smile, albeit a small one, before answering the initial question, "I'm hangin' in there. How are you holdin' up?" Sodapop's affected by bad things too, he tells himself, you need to remember that.
Soda tries to offer his brother one of his usual grins (key word: tries; it winds up coming out as subdued and half-sad). "I'm fine, honey. As long as I still have you and Darry at the end of the day. Yes, a lot of things have changed, but it's important to keep moving forward. As Darry would say, you don't stop living-"
Pony finishes, "-just because you lose someone."
Soda swings an arm around his brother's shoulders, and Pony can't help but sink into the comforting touch.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
When Darry gets off work that day (about three hours later), he surprises the rest of the gang. He first calls the DX and tells them to stay there, because he'll be picking them up. Second, when he gets there, he leads them all to the cemetary, where Mr. and Mrs. Curtis are buried.
The moment Darry's truck and Two-Bit's car are both parked in the cemetary's lot, everyone each understands why Darry would this.
"I figured we could take turns paying our respects, and once everybody feels ready, then we'd go out to dinner," Darry explains.
Darry has been running this idea through his head ever since he and the gang finished reading Ponyboy's theme. In it, Pony had explained that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were the parents of the entire gang, not just their biological sons, before listing off points of evidence. That one paragraph reminded Dally of his love for Mrs. Curtis, reminded Two-Bit why he liked talking to Mr. Curtis so much, why Steve always preferred to stay over at the Curtis house rather than their own, and where Johnny first learned what love was. Pony was right. The news did crush all seven of them.
(However, Pony may have left out the fact that the added risk of possibly being separated by the State, something the entire gang knew could not happen, was what made the Curtis brothers' pain become more emphasized.)
He, Ponyboy, and Sodapop may be their biological offspring, but Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had seven sons.
"You sure?" Two-Bit asked, he, Johnny, Steve, and Dally having mixed feelings. They were touched, especially because Ponyboy's theme was still fresh in their minds. But they were also rather weary. They didn't want to intrude on territory that the three biological sons may not be willing or even allowed to share. "We don't want to..." Two-Bit trails off.
Before Darry or even Soda can respond to that, Pony beats them to it, "You're their sons, too." His voice is quiet, his green-gray eyes filled with small, unshed tears. He doesn't say anything else, and he doesn't have to.
Those four words just prove to the others that Ponyboy really does mean everything in that theme of this. Those really are his thoughts, his feelings. Of course, why would he lie to them? But it certainly is refreshing to know that Ponyboy can't bring himself to be dishonest even on paper.
"Again, we'll take turns," Darry repeats. His words here, while not obvious, are meant to let the others know that he agrees with Ponyboy one-hundred percent. He then adds, "Take as much time as you need."
Dally surprises everyone else by silently stalking up to the two graves by himself, and one he's done, the others (one by one) each follow his example. Then, to complete the visit, they all join together and say goodbye one last time. They don't want to stay here for long, but they don't want to leave too quickly either, so they all collectively, and mentally, agree that thirty-five minutes is enough time.
!~~~A~F~T~E~R~S~H~O~C~K~S~~~!
Fortunately, dinner at Dairy Queen later is a lot more cheerful. As soon as the seven all sit down with their food, the first thing they do is round on Ponyboy for the explanation he promised them. What does he mean by 'not as hypothetical as I made it seem'?
"Exactly what it sounds like," is Pony's answer. He seems sheepish as he explains, "The situation's not hypothetical at all. Mr. Syme really did like my theme so much, he wanted to submit it to a publisher. And the reason I asked for your guys' opinion is because ya'll are in the story. I mean, I'm assuming ya'll read it."
"We sure did, kid," Steve replies. "That's why we have so many questions."
Pony should be happy about this, Johnny mentally rants. This is a big deal. His English teacher liked a simple assignment so much that he thought a publisher would want to turn into a book. Pony should be happy, but it seems like he's not. He seems nervous. People who didn't know him would misjudge that for indifference.
But Johnny did know Ponyboy, so he understands that it's not indifference. It's humility. In the theme, Pony wrote about the man Jerry jokingly asking him if he, Dally, and Johnny were professional heroes, and Pony could have joked back by replying with 'yes', but he didn't. He instead told Jerry that they were juvenile delinquents.
Deep down, Pony is excited about something he wrote being recommended to a publisher. But he's not the type of person to be bragging about something like this. If someone points out his excitement, he won't really try to hide it, but there's no way he'll bring it up himself. And yes, he is nervous, because as he's explaining to the gang, there's a 50/50 chance that the publisher won't like his theme.
"But why did you phrase it as hypothetical?" Dally asks.
"Because I wanted your honest opinion," Pony quietly explains. "I didn't want ya'll to give me answers that you didn't really think were true."
It does make sense, Johnny realizes. Ponyboy's story wasn't the only one he told. He needed permission from them, and that's why he asked. But if they knew it was a real situation, they'd be thinking about what was best for him, and he couldn't let get in the way. He needed their answers to be honest, because if they weren't, and he submitted his theme, he'd never forgive himself for it. That's why he phrased it as a what-if situation, and that's the power they had over him this morning.
They said it was fine with them, so he went through with it. But if they said 'no', then that was that. Ponyboy's theme would stay a simple English assignment. No matter how good it was for his future.
The gang's initial reaction to this revelation is guilt. They didn't really understand the power they had over him until after he told them. Their second, and ultimate, reaction is relief, because they could've easily made the wrong choice, but after finishing reading the theme, they all collectively agreed to be honest, just as Pony asked of them. And they were.
Ponyboy, after explaining all of this, then verbally opens up the floor, so to speak, for any and all questions they have about the theme itself.
The first question is from Dally, "Does that Cherry broad really like me?"
Pony's answer is a deadpan, "Any and all questions except for that one."
Johnny barely manages to hide his chuckle. The short answer to that question is 'It's complicated', and everybody else in the gang knows it.
(Ponyboy is also acknowledging Cherry's wish to never see Dally again, and right now, that means leaving Dally hanging.)
The next question is from Sodapop, "Did you and Steve really hate each other?" It was a question he asked this morning, and Pony had promised to answer it later. Well, now it was later, and he had to answer it.
There's a beat of silence before Ponyboy answers, "Let me put it this way. Everything I wrote is true specifically from my point of view. I know that you guys probably felt different about a certain event than I did, but I can't write what I don't know."
As Pony continues to answer questions, Johnny can't deny the truth in that statement. Ponyboy Curtis is a unique character, but so is everybody else. He's sensitive, yes, but he can't claim to understand what he doesn't know. In the theme, Pony admitted that he didn't really fully understand Johnny's feelings about his parents' abuse until Pony himself was attacked by those very people.
In all honesty, Johnny fully understands why Pony chose that topic. It is a sensitive subject for the gang still, it really is, but it's a story that needs to be told. People do need to know how rough life can be. And maybe Pony sharing his story will encourage others to share theirs.
In that moment, Darry tells Ponyboy, "I'm proud of you, kiddo." And Darry means it.
Ponyboy knows this, and he immediately glows. Hearing that from Darry specifically, Johnny knows, means a lot to Pony. Honestly, it's all Pony's wanted.
But one thing still bothers Johnny, but it's not something he can ask Pony about. Not in front of the others, at least. In the theme, there was the implication that Ponyboy thought that the only reason the gang accepted him was because he was Soda and Darry's little brother and he could keep quiet about things. It was something he set up at the start along with other questions he had, but it was the only one of those questions that didn't get any type of resolution. No single instance of 'Maybe they like me for something more than that'. That means that there's a strong possibility that Pony still thinks that.
A strong possibility that Ponyboy still considers himself an outsider within the very gang he's a part of.
This really bothers Johnny, because he knows that their youngest member does have a role in the gang, and he and rest of the guys know what that role is. Pony's theme even has hints as to what that role is!
Ponyboy Curtis represents something they must protect.
He may not particularly like being protected, because he likes fighting his own battles (which is understandable), but his sensitivity and ability to feel things openly is special, which is the reason they were glad that his run-in with Johnny's parents wasn't going to change Pony into a different person. Pony also has the strongest chance of any and all greasers in this town of going to college and making something of himself, something Pony acknowledged in his theme, and he's right. The gang does want to preserve that. They also want to preserve his voice, his ability to give voice to those and that which have none, and his desire to become an advocate for those society has deemed unworthy of listening to.
Pony keeping his parents' memory alive in the small things he does only proves that.
It hurts Johnny to know that Ponyboy doesn't understand any of that, but Johnny can't tell him, not until he's older at least. For now, the gang is content in keeping quiet about it until they feel it's time for Pony to know.
Johnny merely smiles as Pony sasses Two-Bit, after the latter asks a joke question.
For now, the gang is just content with living within the present. One day at a time.
(Almost a full year later, Ponyboy's theme comes through with the publisher. It's been retitled to 'The Outsiders', and Pony's signed his name as P.M. Curtis. Two-Bit jokingly asks him for a signed copy, only for Pony to quip that Two-Bit is one of the few people who can truthfully claim to know the author personally. Two-Bit takes that and runs with it.)
!~~~T~H~E~~O~U~T~S~I~D~E~R~S~~~!
A/N: First off, Ponyboy's theme features real people and real events, at least in-universe, so it makes sense that he'd want to get permission from those people, before he agreed to let his theme be published into a book. It's called consent, everybody.
Second, in the book, poor Ponyboy admits that he believes the only reason the gang accepted him was because he was Soda and Darry's little brother and he could keep quiet about things. However, throughout the book, there is no indication that he becomes convinced otherwise. Not once does he say "Maybe they like me for something else", implying that by the end, he still believes this. However, in "War and Peace", I change that by implying that Pony does have a role within the gang, an important one, and he just doesn't realize it yet. It's most obvious when Pony is talking Dally out of his depression in the hospital, and during the sunset scene at the end. This story was just made to expand on that role and how important it is.
