It was a lovely day in Heartland as usual. Sun shining, people getting on with their lives, cleaning bots following their duties, sucking up clumsy children's decks along the way.

Deep in the labs of the city's iconic heart tower, Kaito Tenjo is just now getting to enjoy his morning coffee, too busy helping Haruto get ready for school earlier to have time for his own breakfast. He allows himself to savour the bitter beverage, feeling the rush of energy he so desperately needed start to take effect. It was one of the very few pleasures he ever allowed himself to truly indulge in.

The moment is ruined when a sudden pain rushes through his right elbow, so unexpected it almost causes him to drop his mug. Thankfully, he composes himself just in the nick of time to save his precious dose of caffeine.

'This again?' he thinks to himself, 'How annoying.'

But it's nothing he can't deal with, so after rubbing his elbow for a minute, he finishes his coffee and goes on with his day. When Chris comes to join him for today's work, they lose themselves in casual conversation and the little incident completely slips out of his mind.

Until two hours later, when the pain comes back triple fold; first a hit to his stomach that knocks the breath out of him, followed by the left side of his face feeling like he fell onto the ground and rubbed his cheek against the pavement, ending with his left arm aching like someone just twisted it.

Taken by surprise, Kaito is unable to hold back a scream, "Aaargh!" he cries as he holds onto his ailing arm, vigorously rubbing it as if he could maneuver the perfectly fine tendon back into its proper place.

"Kaito? What's wrong?" Chris looks at him in concern, leaving his station so he can check up on him.

"I'm fine." Kaito grumbles when Chris tries to look over his arm, "It's just…"

"The usual?" Chris finishes for him when Kaito has trouble continuing.

"Yes." Kaito admits with a grunt.

Chris sighs and rubs his temple, "Then I suppose there's nothing we can do but wait."

He forces Kaito to sit down, and remains by his side despite the fact that there's nothing he can do, no matter how much Kaito protests. Which honestly isn't that much since, deep down, Kaito enjoys having clear evidence that Chris cares for him after what went on between them.

Thankfully, not half an hour later, the pain on his arm subsides, and Kaito is able to move it again, "I swear, how can people be jealous of something like this? This is such a pain, literally."

"Hey, even seeing this scene with my own eyes, I would still give anything to be in your place." Chris confesses with a small smile, "But you should really have a talk with him."

"Tch." Kaito looks away, irritated. This is not a subject he wants to think too deeply about, "Let's just get back to work."

"You sure you're fine?" Chris asks, only for Kaito to shoot him a firm glare, "Alright then." he gives up with his hands held in the air.

The atmosphere feels a little awkward after that, but a quick lunch (that Chris had to drag him to) brightens the mood back up. The afternoon goes as usual, and just as Kaito almost forgets about the whole thing, his head begins to hurt as if someone is rubbing their fist against it.

It doesn't even hurt all that much, and it's brief, but it's enough to put an end to the last shreds of his patience.

"That's it!" Kaito announces as he gets up and slams his hands against the table.

"Hmm? Decided to follow my advice after all?" Chris remarks with a mocking grin.

Kaito doesn't acknowledge the tease, throwing his coat onto the table and walking off, so enraged that every footstep makes a loud noise, "Tell Dr. Faker I had to leave early today to pick up a certain someone at school."

"Sure." Chris answers, but by that point, Kaito had already loudly slammed the door behind him.

The older man sighs and shakes his head, "Don't be too hard on him." he pleads his former student, "He is your soul mate, even if you don't like to think about that most of the time."


"Whoa, Kaito, I'm so happy you came to pick me up today!" Yuma smiles widely as he finishes his last piece of toast, "Thanks for the great food. I really needed more fuel after the day I've ha-"

He stops, finally noticing the way Kaito is staring intently at him without even touching his coffee, "I can't help but think you look angry today…"

That's an understatement if there ever was one, "Tell me, Yuma, how was your day?" Kaito asks as he crosses his arms over the table.

"Wel-"

"No, don't bother, because I already know how your day went." Kaito states as he switches to full-on glaring at the younger man, "You started by getting into another pointless race with Tetsuo, and bashed your elbow on something on the way. Then, during PE, you let the other students egg you into trying to jump a gym horse stacked 20 levels high, failed, and twisted your arm in the process. After a stunt in the school's infirmary, you calmed down a bit, only to run in the middle of the hallways when someone challenged you to a duel, hitting your head against a wall."

Kaito doesn't even take a moment to breathe after that long speech, "Am I right Yuma?" he questions in a mocking tone, paying no mind to the way Yuma is shrinking in his seat, "Do you wonder why I know all this?"

"Actually, that last one was because of Alit. He came up to me and gave me a noogie because I 'totally showed Shark what's what'. I beat him again today!" he finishes with a smile, his mood lifting as he remembers the duel he had against his other rival earlier.

His enthusiasm immediately dies once Kaito's response is to just glare even harder for some reason, "B-but yeah, the reason you know all that…" he starts, only to scrunch his shoulders and look away from Kaito's gaze before continuing, "…is because you're my soul mate, and so you feel every bit of pain I feel."

"Correct. Well done, Yuma." Kaito praises in a mocking manner, "So explain to me, how come in the two years you've known we are connected, you haven't changed your behaviour to consider my existence at all?"

The accusation makes Yuma flinch, giving Kaito the opportunity to strike even harder, "I'm an adult, with responsibilities you can't even dream of yet. I can't let my work performance decline because you're so inconsiderate over me. Do you understand that at all?"

Yuma lowers his head, his voice so small it's barely above a whisper, "It's not like I don't care about you. It's jus-"

"What, trying to beat Tetsuo is more important than me?" Kaito interjects, knowing the implication would make Yuma feel even more ashamed, but at this moment he doesn't care about sparing his feelings in the slightest, "Seriously, what is even the point of competing with him every morning, when the race between you two is nowhere near fair? Of course you can't catch up to him on a darn skateboard! But it's also obvious he'd have no chance otherwise, so tell me, why do you keep in indulging in his stupid whims of being faster than you?"

"Well, it's just…" the teenager scratches the back of his head, scrambling to come up with an excuse in the face of such an irrefutable truth, "We've been doing it forever, that's all…"

"That just makes the whole thing all the more baffling. Haven't you grown tired of the same sham of a competition for years now, when you have nothing to gain from it?" he scoffs as he leans back into his chair, "You're lucky this little game of yours hasn't resulted in either of you being involved in a traffic accident, but that luck is bound to run out, and it better not be you that gets hit!"

"Guh…" Yuma falters, guilt overtaking his face. Clearly, he had never once thought of that possibility.

This doesn't please Kaito at all, "As for the constant gym bets you keep on taking…" he keeps on going, "You know your classmates give you impossible tasks on purpose just to laugh at you when you fail, right? Why do you keep engaging in your own bullying?"

"Hey, you never know if you can do it until you try!" Yuma protests with a pout.

"That's an admirable attitude when it comes to dueling, but seriously, what do you have to prove to your dumb classmates? Why do you keep injuring yourself only to get laughed at?" Kaito's tone wavers, giving away just how much he actually worries about this, "If it's to get their approval, screw that! Why do you try to impress some brats who clearly don't care about you? Just walk away and let them get their entertainment from someone else. You're better than that Yuma!"

"But…my dad…Kattobingu…" Yuma begins to tremble, almost falling apart as he remembers his dad's words.

"Your father's philosophy is enviable, but you have to realize it shouldn't be applied in every situation in life." he sighs and rubs his aching temple, sick of having to go over this matter for what feels like the hundredth time, "You do not need to prove yourself to everyone around you. Sometimes, just being who you are is enough already, and damn everyone who thinks otherwise."

Yuma bites his lip, not knowing what to say, ".….."

Part of him knows Kaito is right, and is happy that Kaito is admitting that he cares for him, even if in a roundabout way. But he's been a people-pleaser for so long, that it's hard to internalize that the older man might actually be right.

Unaware of the teen's inner confusion, Kaito takes Yuma's silence as a sign to keep going, "As for your motley gang of friends."

That word finally makes Yuma look up at him again, "Hey, Alit isn-"

"Tell them to learn some boundaries and keep their hands to themselves." he finishes off in an incredibly harsh tone.

Wait, where did that come from? Until now, his tone may have been harsh, but his words at least betrayed some matter of concern over Yuma. But this time, there's nothing but spite in them, and Kaito is looking at him as if Yuma has done some sort of great sin. For what?

Well, Yuma may take it when it comes to himself, but he will never let anyone badmouth his friends.

"Now that's not fair!" Yuma raises his voice, "You can complain about me all you want, but leave my friends out of this." he demands firmly, "Besides do you really think I can control other people's behaviour?"

"If they're stepping over the line, then they should be correc-"

"It was just a noogie! It barely even lasted twenty seconds!" Yuma protests in indignation,"You sit there and go off on me, but you're not a very considerate soul mate either, Kaito!"

This finally makes the older man pause, "Now what are you going on about?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"You know! The fact that you completely suck at taking care of yourself." Yuma gestates wildly as if it's obvious, "You forget to take lunch breaks unless Chris' reminds you to, and even when you eat, it's so little that it's not enough to quench your hunger. I get stomach pains all the time, only to eat and realize that it's you who is hungry, not me!"

"I can't help it if I get too engrossed in my work." Kaito retorts, completely unphased, "If you were older, you might underst-"

Yuma doesn't even let him finish, all of his usual patience gone, "You do the same on the weekends too, when I know you have the day off. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you didn't have to cook for Haruto, you'd crumble into dust without Chris!"

Kaito glares at him, offended, "Now that's not fair, I can take care of myself just fi-"

"And how about your coffee addiction, huh?" Yuma interrupts him once again, "You're always going on about my grades, but you drink so much coffee that you suffer from insomnia every week. Which leads you to getting a lot of headaches, which leads to me not being able to focus on school at all."

"Now you're just being ridiculous. Almost every adult needs caffeine to start their day. And it's not like you usually pay much attention anyway." Kaito waves a hand in dismissal.

"You drink coffee at 9PM Kaito! When my sister says drinking coffee in the afternoon is bad for your sleep. Surely someone as smart as you knows that you shouldn't have caffeine at least nine hours before bed. And yet…" Yuma stops, glaring at the coffee cup that's in front of Kaito right now, at 6PM in the afternoon.

Kaito flinches, biting his lip and looking away, "This conversation is not about me." he deflects.

"Yes it is!" Yuma insists, voice almost rising into a yell, "If we're soul mates, then we both have to look out for each other, not just me!"

"I wasn't the one who ended up in the infirmary today." Kaito points out, still not looking Yuma in the eye.

The younger boy doesn't miss a beat, "Just like I wasn't the one who pulled an all-nighter two days ago and could barely move the next day."

Kaito shakes his head, not wanting to give in even an inch, "I cannot help it. I need coffee to get through the day."

"If I have to change my behaviour, then so do you." Yuma claims with conviction.

This makes Kaito stop; truly he has no retort to that.

But there's no way he will ever admit defeat, "I can see that trying to have a conversation with you was a bad idea." he says as he gets up and turns away from the younger boy, "Call me when you stop being such a selfish brat."

"Fine!" Yuma crosses his arms and looks away petulantly, "Call me when you actually have an interest in making this soul mate thing work then. Instead of ignoring me for a month and then going off on me..." his voice wavers at that last part, giving away how much he's actually hurt over this.

Kaito flinches, the cloud of anger lifting just for a brief moment. But he quickly looks his head away before Yuma can even begin to hope that they may come to a resolution.

"Tch." he tightens his fist to keep himself from trembling, not wanting to give Yuma the satisfaction of knowing he was actually affected by this, "I've already paid for our tab. Have a good day Yuma." he says as he finally walks away from their table.

"Kaito…" Yuma calls out, only for Kaito to slam the café's door on his way out, making every other patron take notice of him.

Yuma sighs in utter defeat. This isn't what he was expecting when Kaito came to pick him up at all. He was so happy, thinking that the other man wanted to spend some time with him. Even though they had finally acknowledged their situation shortly after the Barian war was over, Kaito hadn't made an effort to progress their relationship at all.

At first, that didn't bother Yuma, since he was too immature at the time to truly think about the implications of being soul mates. But he was a bit older now, and even he was starting to get bitten by the interest in love affairs that his classmates had been obsessing over for several years now. But other than a vague assurance that they would get together some day, Kaito seemed to ignore the whole matter.

And Yuma didn't pry, assuming the age difference between them was the reason for Kaito's awkwardness. Even if he was almost sixteen now, and wanted nothing more to explore this new side of him, he had no intentions of doing it with anyone other than his fated one. He'd wait all the time Kaito needed.

But being dismissed like this was too much. Yuma wanted Kaito to take this more seriously. To hang out a little bit more at least, even if just platonically. Instead, it seems Kaito only called him when he was annoyed at him, and had no actual interest in solving their problems together.

Yuma didn't even know what he did wrong. Things seemed to be going normally until Kaito began to complain about the noogie. Why, of all things, did he get so mad over that?

It doesn't matter; this did not bode well for their relationship at all, and Yuma had no idea what to do now, "Ugh, if only Astral was here." he lamented as he stared at Kaito's unfinished coffee.

Just then, his stomach begins to twitch in pain, even though he had just finished two servings of toast and a slice of cake. Once again, it seemed Kaito had not eaten enough at lunch, proving Yuma's point.

He feels no joy over being right for once.


Kaito is getting to the point of throwing his D-Gazer against the ground and stepping on it's until crushed to pieces.

Chris has been sending him messages for the past forty minutes now, and Kaito has had enough of it. While there had been several, they all come down to the four simple points, 'How did things go with Yuma?', 'So you didn't actually fix anything? Good job.', 'Perhaps you should try being a little kinder instead of immediately going into accusations. While he might pretend not to, remember that he's still a teenager with feelings…', 'Don't throw away your chance at happiness because of your past.'

That last one especially pissed him off; who did Chris think he was to give him advice like that, when he himself hadn't fully gotten over the whole ordeal with Tron? Not to mention part of the reason Kaito started acting cold in the first place was because of him being used and discarded by the people who he thought cared about him, Chris included…

Yeah, screw him. Like he knows what would make Kaito happy in the first place. With a scoff, he turns off his D-gazer and chooses to turn his attention to enjoying dinner with his brother, the only light in his world, "How do you like your omurice, Haruto?"

Haruto smiles at him in-between bites, "It's great. You finally got it right after burning it so many times!"

If it were anyone else, Kaito would be insulted and bite back, but with his brother, he's able to find humour in the whole thing. It was true that Kaito wasn't that good of a cook, having to prepare the same dish several times before it turned out decent. He still enjoyed doing it just for the reward of making his brother happy, "Then it was worth the effort despite it not being the most appropriate of dinner foods."

"Thank you, niisan, for making my favourite. But…" Haruto's expression suddenly twists, looking to the side as he hesitates to continue, "…are you sure this is enough for you?"

Oh-oh. Kaito doesn't like that question at all, "What do you mean?" he asks, struggling to keep his tone neutral.

"Well, you skipped eating breakfast yourself in favour of making mine, and I know you usually stick to sandwiches as lunch so…you should have one big dinner to make up for it." Haruto prattles so quickly that Kaito barely understands it, his brother clearly nervous about even telling him this in the first place.

Kaito scrunches his eyes with suspicion, 'What the hell? Has Yuma put him up to this?' "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, I know what my body needs."

His reassurance doesn't seem to have helped, as Haruto chances looking back at him, "Do you? Because you always go overboard for my sake, and even now, I wonder if you keep doing it without even realizing it…"

For a moment, Kaito is silent, baffled that his brother is persisting with this, "Did Yuma ask you to tell me this?"

"Huh? Of course not!" Haruto eyes widen with disbelief, indicating that he's being honest, "But if Yuma noticed it too, then that means…" he mumbles under his breath before gathering his courage and looking at Kaito with determination, "Niisan, you should worry about yourself more."

"Haruto, everything is fine." Kaito smiles awkwardly, struggling to keep his eyes from twitching with irritation, "Worry more about yourself. Have you been adapting to school well?" he attempts to change the topic.

His brother frowns at this, "It's been a year since I enrolled you know…you don't need to ask every day."

"Haruto…" Kaito whispers, feeling hurt that his brother is acting like this towards him, "You're the most important thing to me, and you know Dr. Faker isn't the best parent, so I have to make up for it."

"I know. And I love you for that niisan." Haruto is quick to reassure him, looking guilty. This doesn't make him stop talking however, "But I want you to be happy too, and despite the fact things got better after everything that happened, even I know that you haven't moved on at all. You still walk around as if you're going to get jumped at any second. You're not back to the carefree, kind brother I knew at all…at least not to anyone other than me."

"Haruto?" Kaito stops eating entirely, completely taken aback that he's hearing the same spiel Chris gives him weekly from his own kid brother of all people.

Unlike with Chris, he doesn't have the heart to yell at his brother to stop. No matter how much he doesn't want to hear a single more word of this exchange. If either Chris or Yuma put Haruto up to this, then they are evil geniuses, because Haruto is the one person in the universe who can force Kaito to face up to things he'd rather pretend didn't exist in the first place.

"You know, when we figured out Yuma was your soul mate, I was happy because I thought we had someone who could help us out. But you ignored it and kept trying to do everything on your own, even when he constantly tried to intervene." Haruto admits, completely unaware of the way Kaito is screeching on the inside with every single word that comes out of his mouth, "And in the end, all it resulted in was your body almost breaking down due to stress and overusing the photons."

Finally having had enough, Kaito decides to defend himself, hoping to make his brother see reason and drop this whole matter, "Everyone betrayed us, Haruto. Why should I have put my faith into some random hyperactive kid who didn't know us at all?"

"Because he's your soul mate. You're a good person, niisan, so why would the universe pair you up with someone mean?" Haruto states in all his child-like innocence.

Kaito doesn't know if he wants to be happy about the fact Haruto can still be so naive despite all that happened to him, or cry over the fact that his brother still believes Kaito is a good person, "Life isn't a fairy tale Haruto. Just because two people are soul mates, it doesn't mean things will go right."

"But you and Yuma are both good, kind people who sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. That makes you two a pretty good match, don't you think?" Haruto smiles gently as he fantasizes about it, "You two could take care of each other; be the one person they could count on to not hurt the other."

He doesn't even know what to say to that; him and that idiot, compatible? How ludicrous…sure, they may both be the self-sacrificial type, but that's where the similarities stopped. Yuma was dumb, optimistic even when life had done nothing but kick him down, always believing in others even if all they did was insult him. He gave everyone the same amount of kindness he gave everyone else. Kaito was realistic, he had learned from being discarded like trash and used by his own father to never trust others ever again, and to never give kindness to anyone but his brother. Nobody else was worth his love.

It's not like he had called Chris at 3am, after swearing to never speak to his former mentor again, telling him they had to spend a good part of their family fortunes building an intergalactic teleportation portal, because Yuma was so depressed about Astral dying. That was purely because they needed Astral to win the war; he hadn't felt anything about seeing Yuma so depressed that a well timed-slap wouldn't snap him out of the pit of despair he had fallen into this time, not at all…

"Of course, you have to let Yuma get close to you before that can happen." Haruto keeps going, snapping Kaito out of his trance, "Why don't you hang out with him? Every time he comes over, you just push him towards me. I love spending time with Yuma, he's very fun, but why go so far for the sake of ignoring him?"

"He's too young for me, Haruto. We have nothing in common." Kaito dismisses the entire point like it's that simple, struggling to keep his temper in check. This has gone on far enough.

"Nothing in common? What about dueling? What about going out into nature? I bet he'd love to see our old house…" Haruto's eyes shine with anticipation, and dear god no, Kaito will never let that happen. The last thing he needs is to bring Yuma to a place where it was easy for Kaito to slip back to his older, more naive self, "You like cooking for me and he loves to eat; why not cook for him as well? Yuma likes playing traditional video games too, some I know you like playing with me as well."

"That doesn't matter when we can't even go through a single conversation." he grumbles, flashing back to the fight they'd had earlier that day.

"Because you're truly incompatible? Or is it because you go into each one wanting to end it as quickly as possible, or avoid talking altogether?" Haruto points out in a rather accusing manner.

Chris' earlier message comes back to haunt him, 'Perhaps you should try being a little kinder instead of immediately going into accusations.' Kaito truly has no idea what to even say any more, ".…"

"I love you niisan. I want nothing more for you to be happy." Haruto finishes in a gentle tone, because none of this was meant to hurt his brother, but to help him, "Thank you for taking care of me, but you need to think about yourself too. And for that, you need to drop the shield you have had ever since we came to Heartland. Not with everyone, but I think there's no harm doing it with Yuma."

Then he closes his eyes and smiles widely, "After all, when has he ever hurt anyone?"

When has he indeed. Anything Kaito could have fired back with, dies when he realizes he can't come up with a time Yuma had done so, unless he counted Astral getting jealous over the whole Vector thing, and that had clearly not been the boy's fault. Not even his cynic ass can use that as an excuse when he remembers Yuma crashing to the ground, trembling as Vector mocked him for ever caring about their 'friendship'.

(Kaito hadn't wanted to call off his duel with Mizael so he could jump over and personally introduce Vector's face to the ground at all. He hadn't struggled to keep quiet during the whole thing at all.)

(Mostly because he didn't deserve to act that way when he himself had thrown Yuma's kindness to his face several times before.)

"Thanks for the food, niisan. I'm tired, so I'm just going to watch something before going to sleep. No need to read a book together today." Haruto stretches as he finishes the last of his dinner, "Maybe go to bed earlier or something…"

He gets up and walks over to Kaito, leaning over so he can kiss him on the cheek, "See you tomorrow 'niisan." he wishes despite his brother's lack of response.

"See you tomorrow…." Kaito whispers, still frozen as he watches his brother leaves the room.

Once he's out of sight, Kaito hides his face in his hands and despairs, 'Even my eight-year-old brother is trying to give me life advice.'

Normally, that would be reason enough to disregard the whole thing. But Haruto wasn't any kid; he was an incredibly smart kid who was forced to grow up early despite Kaito's best efforts. He was the one who knew Kaito the best out of anyone in the whole world.

Dazed, he turns his D-Gazer on and scrolls through Chris' messages again, 'You can't find happiness if you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable.'

Again, Kaito wants to crush the damn thing to bits, 'All of you are wrong. I'm fine on my own. I want nothing to do with Yuma, nothing at all.'

That's right, fuck everyone else, fuck the universe for giving him a soul mate at all. Kaito knew himself best, and he knew his own feelings, and he felt nothing for Yuma other than a vague sense of gratitude for all the younger boy had done for him.

"Actually, that last one was because of Alit."

Wait, why was he remembering that at all? Why was he remembering the way just imagining Alit being so close to Yuma that he could casually pull him close and noogie him, had made his stomach twist? That the fact that Yuma thought nothing of it had made him become enraged, leading him to start going off on him much more harshly than what he had originally intended?

He was just mad that Yuma hadn't spared a thought to the reality that Kaito would feel pain too, like always. That was all.

"As for your motley gang of friends."

"Hey, Alit isn-"

"Tell them to learn some boundaries and keep their hands to themselves."

"You can complain about me all you want, but leave my friends out of this."

And then Yuma had begun to go off on his flaws, but Kaito had been so enraged he had only listened just enough to try to defend himself occasionally. Because he was too busy fuming on the inside.

'Why are you defending him? You didn't care when I accused Tetsuo earlier!' he tightens his fist over his knees as Yuma keeps rambling, 'Don't you know that guy clearly likes you? Are you that stupid you don't get what he means when he calls you his angel over and over.'

Apparently so, because he keeps going, making Kaito angrier by the second, 'At least Shark is so self-destructive that he'll always keep his distance. Not that darn guy. And you're making things so easy for him.'

"If we're soul mates, then we both have to look out for each other, not just me!"

'How dare you call yourself my soul mate when you give your love away to everyone else like it's a cheap commodity?'

Enough of this buffoonery. It's time for him to walk away.

Kaito laughs bitterly.

Jealous.

He had been jealous. Jealous that Yuma allowed someone who clearly had feelings for him to get so casually close. Jealous that Yuma dared defend him so passionately when he hadn't done so for himself.

Kaito's screwed. He's already more emotionally involved in this than he ever wanted to be, and this was after he had done everything to push Yuma away as much as possible. When had the damn brat wormed his way in?

Was it when he came just in the nick of time to beat Heartland for him? Was when Kaito jumped in to save him from Mizael's assault despite the fact he shouldn't have been there? Was it when he had spared Dr. Faker despite everything? Was it when he kept sacrificing his LP and cards to keep Kaito in the duel when they went up against the Arclight brothers, no matter how much Kaito told him to stop bothering?

Was it during their first duel, when their connection was first established? Was it when he also hurt when Yuma and Astral took damage, realized what was happening, and for a brief moment allowed himself to hope 'maybe I'm not doomed to always be abandoned after all.'

Right. Kaito had never had a chance in the first place. All these years of avoiding his soul mate had been pointless.

But he's not pulling the pin on that grenade. Not now, not ever. So he just gets up and gathers the dishes, throwing half of his meal away, cringing when he remembers all the people who told him to eat more. And makes another coffee on his way out.


That darn coffee betrayed him.

It was 2am and he couldn't get a wink of sleep. Which wouldn't be so bad, he was used to getting insomnia all the time, but lying in darkness with his mind racing while he tried and failed to fall asleep, was even less pleasant than usual when all his mind wanted to do is to flash to the day's events. To cycle through every little piece of advice people forced unto him and realizing that maybe, maybe, they had a point. That at the very least it was worth trying to work things over with Yuma.

He hated to admit when he was wrong, but what he hated even more was trying to make things right. Because he completely and utterly sucked at the latter, and such tremendous failure mixed with his perfectionist nature only resulted in his ego crashing down in a spectacular fashion.

So here was, awake at such an ungodly hour, grasping his still-intact D-Gazer and typing up a message to Yuma that he would erase over and over again. He really should have broken the darn thing, so he wouldn't be able to even obsess over this in the first place.

How could he even apologize to Yuma without making a complete fool of himself? He might be willing to admit he was in the wrong, but that didn't mean he was at the point he would proselytize himself to the other. No matter what, he needed Yuma to maintain the respect he clearly had for him by the end of this, or Kaito's pride would be so damaged that he would just lock himself up in the lab and never leave again.

*jab, jab*

And what did he apologize for first, anyway? For not admitting he also had unhealthy habits that he had to work on? For going through great lengths to ignore the other boy despite their undeniable connection? For keeping his heart so closely guarded even after Yuma proved time and time again that he wouldn't hurt him like the others? The fact that, despite all appearances, he was actually a jealous prick, even when he had no right to be one, given the aforementioned ignoring?

*poke, poke*

Maybe this was a bad idea; he wasn't sure he was ready to move things forward in their relationship anyway, which is something Yuma would expect if they tried to work out their issues. Kaito wasn't stupid, and he knew Yuma wasn't as slow as many other people thought. He might have truly been clueless as to what having a soul mate would entail when they first met, but he was almost sixteen now, and even he was starting to think about romantic matters differently. If nothing else, the teenage hormones currently riddling his body had forced him to realize that yes, he might want to do something with Kaito that isn't dueling for once.

The thought of trusting his body over to someone else terrifies him almost as much as the joy he feels that his soul mate actually finds him attractive. Yuma had been growing into his looks a fair bit lately, and surely the horny teens at this school had noticed. And yet, in all the group meet-ups Yuma throws that everyone is forced to participate in, his eyes have never strayed from Kaito, even if the older man spent all the events with his back turned to him.

(One of the few pleasures of going to such noisy events was the way a lot of people at the party would not-so subtly glare at Kaito with jealousy. It made the fact Yuma still hung out with so many people interested in him sting just a little bit less.)

*poke, jab*

Maybe he should just give up. If he wasn't ready to get into a possibly-sexual relationship, then he clearly wasn't ready to open his heart more. To trust that he wouldn't get hurt again despite constant proof that the Universe loved to give him hope only to cruelly crush it.

…but if he did do that, then nothing would ever change, right? And he couldn't very well criticize Yuma ever again, since the boy did at least have the courage to put himself out here, even if he had to yell that stupid 'Kattobingu' motto whil-

*jab, poke, poke, jab*

'Will you stop whatever it is you're doing? I'm trying to think here, and I can't do that if you constantly keep poking yourself in the stomach! Go eat something instead of dreaming about it or whatever!' Kaito furiously types into his D-Gazer before he can even think twice about it, because whatever it is Yuma was doing, it was cutting into his inner monologue, and that was inexcusable.

Then he freezes, realizing what he's just done.

He finally sent a message to Yuma, and it was nothing like what he had been torturing himself over. Just more complaining at the other boy. He messed up yet again.

This really isn't Kaito's day.

His D-Gazer beeping with a reply snaps him out of the train of self-loathing before it can get too far, 'I'm not dreaming about food, I'm trying to send you a message!'

At 2am? Why was he still even up? It's not like Kaito had a headache to keep him awake, at least not yet anyway, 'Why are you even still up? And why not just use your D-Gazer?'

'Cause I didn't want to wake you up?' is the reply he gets, and he can just imagine the way Yuma tilted his head innocently as he typed it, 'Also, I can't sleep.'

'Your constant poking would wake me up even if I was sleeping.' he points out.

'So you're awake too?' Yuma is strangely perceptive for once, '…did you drink even more coffee after you left?'

Yep, he's definitely more perceptive than usual today. Or maybe Kaito doesn't give him enough credit most of the time, 'What was it?' he deflects, seeing no point in admitting the truth when Yuma has already figured him out.

'What was what?'

'The message you wanted to send me with all that jabbing?' he clarifies.

'Ohhh.' again, he can almost hear Yuma as if he was in front of him right now, 'It was 'I'm sorry'.'

That one definitely catches Kaito off guard; it wasn't Yuma who had massively screwed up today after all, '...what are you sorry about?'

'For what happened today.' Yuma answers, then takes a while to type a much longer message, 'I'm sorry for constantly getting hurt without thinking about you. And for whatever I said that made you lose your cool. I know you didn't come in that mad, so it was clearly something I did.'

Seeing that makes Kaito gulp loudly with guilt. Of course Yuma had gone on to blame himself for what others did. Just like always. Chris' message 'While he might pretend not to, remember that he's still a teenager with feelings…' haunts him once again.

Looks like he'll need to take his former mentor out for lunch as an apology for the angry messages he sent him today. Later. Now, he had to make things up with Yuma first, '...it wasn't your fault.'

Finally, he was able to admit such a thing to Yuma. While his inner defenses are screaming at him for this, a part of him sighs in relief.

'It wasn't?' is the reply he gets back.

'Well, the stupid crap you do that constantly gets you hurt was.' he starts, then shakes his head. He can't slip back into his default aggressive mode after getting so far, 'But me getting mad was my own issue. I can't fault you for it when I never told you what was actually bothering me.'

It takes a while, but he eventually gets a single message back, 'Oh.'

Looks like even Yuma is out of words for once. He gathers his courage and keeps going, 'Sorry for ditching you like that. The other customers must have given you strange looks.'

Instead of getting something to the likes of 'don't worry, it was fine' what he actually gets back is, 'Hehe, thanks Kaito.'

Once again, this makes him pause, 'For what?'

'For actually apologising.' Yuma clarifies right away, 'People get mad at me all the time and say things they don't really mean, but this is the first time anyone has actually apologised. It means a lot to me!'

So Yuma really wasn't as dumb as he seemed. He did notice the way people treated him. The fact he kept on trying anyway despite all that was honestly…

'You're welcome…' he sends back, guilt threatening to overcome his entire body.

Thankfully, Yuma still keeps on messaging, preventing Kaito from mulling for too long, 'So, what was it?'

'What was what?' it's his turn to ask.

'What did I do that made you so mad?'

And there's the question he really didn't want to answer honestly. Confessing he has an irrationally jealous side to him, likely born due to his trust issues. But he has to, he know he does. He's already come this far.

'Yuma, let's meet up again tomorrow. It's time we've had a real conversation about what we've been avoiding for so long.' he eventually types before he can lose his determination.

'You mean...?!' Yuma sends back, picking up on the implied meaning once again.

'Actually, let's skip the café. I'll pick you up and bring you back to my place, make something for you to eat. We'll get more privacy that way.' then he remembers the last time Yuma came over, and is quick to send another message, 'I promise I won't just shove you towards Haruto and run away this time.'

'Really?' Yuma replies before Kaito even sends the second message. When he gets, his response is dripping with enthusiasm, 'Yay! It will be the first time we'll be by ourselves!'

Huh, he is right. Did Kaito really not have a single moment with his soul mate alone in the two years since Astral left? He really was dedicated to avoiding him as much as possible…and now feels bad over it, since it just made the inevitable much harder to deal with.

Yuma is obviously unaware of his thoughts, and keeps sending him several messages, 'Can I bring over my duel cards too? Will you take me to your room? Is your food any good?'

'Sure, bring them. If things go well, I suppose we could hang out for a little while.' he specifically avoids replying to the food question in order not to set Yuma's expectations too high, 'Don't expect me to go easy on you. And stop fantasizing about my room, it's nothing special.'

Hopefully Yuma likes omurice too, because he really has no time to master anything else, and every other dish he knows is far too simple to impress even someone as cheerful as Yuma…

Oh god, Yuma's coming over to his room! Wait, why does he even care? He's not a teenager any more! Even if, in reality, he was less experienced with this kind of stuff than most teenagers were….

Once again, Yuma's replies stop him from dwelling on that reality any second longer, 'I'm so happy! Now I really won't be able to sleep, I'm too excited for this!'

'I'm sure you'll manage somehow.' he sends, trying to slip back into his usual cool tone now that the time for deep admissions is over, 'And Yuma?'

'What?'

He hesitates before sending the next message, 'No racing Tetsuo to school tomorrow, and no more gym bets.'

Because while he might have been wrong about several things, getting Yuma to take care of himself more and stop engaging with those awful bullying brats wasn't one of them.

'I don't have PE tomorrow anyway.' Yuma says as if that fixes the issue, 'And only if you don't drink any coffee after lunch from now on.'

Ugh. Kaito really doesn't like the sound of that.

But it is fair. Relationships are about compromise, and the fact he's still up at this hour proves that the teenager had a point. As long as Yuma followed his end of the deal he didn't mind bending a little.

'...I need to taper off the caffeine slowly though.' he replies, knowing that he won't realistically be able to reduce his caffeine reduction from one day to the other, 'I'll make sure to bring a big lunch tomorrow, is that good enough?' he offers as a trade-off.

'Deal!' Yuma texts two seconds later, clearly pleased.

'See you tomorrow then. Don't fall asleep in class.' and with that, he turns off his D-Gazer, so he can try to fall asleep now that his mind can be a little more at ease.

…it doesn't work. Now he's worried about how the conversation will go tomorrow. How he'll actually be able to open up about his issues. If he'll completely burn the food to a crisp with nerves. If he'll chicken out at the last minute, or if he's going to lose his temper when he can't get the words out fast enough and take out that frustration on Yuma. Or-

Again, he feels a slight pain in his stomach. Not a poke this time, but a clear, continuous thing. Thanks to that, he can definitely tell what the message is this time.

Turning on his D-Gazer for the last time, he types a quick, but firm message, 'Go to sleep already.'

And then he traces a line around his stomach with his fingernail, just hard enough that Yuma is able to feel it. It's the same thing the other boy had just sent him:

«3

A/N: Since I can't update my longfic this week, as I need to upload something else on AO3, decided to take the chance to post this older fic here. My writing as changed since this, but it's still rather beloved on AO3, so why not? Hope you enjoyed. That last bit was meant to be a heart emoji, but this site's formatting doesn't allow that... so I had to improvise.