Week three
Carlene's footsteps through the underbrush were silent and light, born from walking the grounds for years with her father and mother to collect plants. Her father's heavy hands ruffled her thick black hair out of her neat braid when she remembered the name of a herb and its properties, her mother's soft voice in her ear and her tan and calloused hands showing her how to work around the poisonous parts to get to the fruit they seek.
But her parents aren't here with her at the moment, her father died of a sickness that plagued the Lukso Province a few winters back and her mother doesn't leave the village often, too busy with other tasks. No, instead of the ones she would prefer to walk beside her she had Pierrot's loud and unsteady steps beside her.
When he saw Carlene head to the forest he was quick to follow, chatting in her ear about this and that as he walked beside her. A guilt ate at her as she showed him the main path towards the next village and gave him tips to not get too confused in the tree's giant ancient roots.
And on the way back she made a detour, a last minute plan for when she escapes from death's hands she won't have to worry of a chase. The first Carlene had a hiding place that wasn't really a secret, many of the Kurta children came and went from this spot but she kept coming back.
The edge of the cliff had the best view of the Lukso Province as a whole, the tall trees seemed small in the valley below.
"Wow! I don't remember this-" Pierrot started to say, stepping closer to the ledge, only for Carlene to grab a hold of his green tunic and pull him back.
"Be careful! The ledge isn't as safe as it looks. If one of us were to step on it we'd be tumbling down… look." She pointed down to the river below, large rocks were pronounced against the water that rushed around it, "If you fell, then you would be going head first into one of those. And even if you were to survive that, the river's undertow will prevent you from being able to swim to safety… nobody could survive a fall."
"A-ah! Thanks for stopping me… I would have been a goner!" Pierrot smiled and Carlene could only hope that her words would stick with him. Her disappearance had to be perfect, and if she was to be presumed dead then all the better. After all, she had to be ready for anything.
She led him back to the village. Leaving behind the shade of the trees and heading towards the small clearing were the Kurta built their huts. As Carlene took him through the winding labyrinth of roots, she stopped in her tracks, mind wandering away from her. A topic that she didn't want to think of breaching the forts she's built.
Sometimes she forgot that she hadn't always been Carlene.
Carlene remember that no matter how real she felt- in the warm embrace of her mother with her bare feet gritty from the dirt; with caresses of the cold wind against her skin as she held her father's hand in her own; as she listened to the song of the birds as she watched the sun sink into the embrace of the horizon, setting the sky aflame while it did- she didn't belong in the world she lived in.
"-lene?"
"I should be buried here with everybody else," Carlene wanted to say, "Me and the girl I killed when I clawed my way back to life and wore her corpse to pretend I was still human."
"CARLENE!" Pierrot's voice called her out of the dangerous thought process that she was stuck in. Her eyes wide and gray meet Pierrot's searching green ones, "Are you alright? Are you getting sick again?" His pale hands pressed against her forehead, trying to feel for a fever.
"Ah- sorry… I just got lost in thought…" she mumbled, looking down as she backed away from his hands.
"Is everything alright? You can always talk to me, you know!" Pierrot's smile felt contagious and all Carlene could wish for was that they were two normal teens, but such a thing was impossible.
"I was just thinking back to a line in a book that I read… in that book a man- Judas, sold another for thirty pieces of silver. It makes me wonder, how much would someone sell the Kurta out for?" She wanted to smile a bit, finding humor in quoting something the head of the Spider says, but a dark flash that went through Pierrot's eyes kept her weary.
"Ah! Think nothing of it, my head likes to wander too far from my body." As quickly as it came, the dark glimmer went away.
"It's fine, it must have been quite the book if it stuck with you in such a way."
"Not really, it was very weird and boring."
Week four
Inside the clearing, the people sang so loudly that they chimed clear and high. Her mother swayed to the tune and twirled her giggling seven year old cousin, passing his squirming form to Sophia, one of the village elders who would take care of the children while the parents were working.
Today they were celebrating for the good harvest and the announcement of Mizelle's- an outsider who joined the village- pregnancy. Carlene watched with a sad smile, the happy faces around her were blurry in her mind as she watched Pairo stumble with those dancing. His legs have been getting weaker and weaker as time goes by, his vision hasn't changed but it was still hard for him; the absence of Kurapika affected him more than he would admit. Carlene could only pray that they would all forgive her when the time comes, but if they didn't she wouldn't blame them.
The sun was setting when her mother came up to her, curly beautiful hair kept in place with a lavender bandana, her tan skin just a few shades lighter than Carlene's own glowed a golden color in the sun. Her smile was beautiful and Carlene just wanted to hug her, have words of assurance promised into her hair.
Nausea surged. The ground dropped out from beneath her feet. Her heart stuttered in its beating.
"Carlene, my beautiful girl! Take a walk with your old mother!" Carlene rushed to stand up and meet with her mother. Words built up inside her chest until it felt like she would drown in them; explanations of what she was, of the things she wished she didn't still remember, of the massacre that was coming to claim them all- it all burned in her throat.
But Carlene choked it all down.
Her mother called a farewell to the Chief and to the loitering villagers and walked away with Carlene's hand in her own. They walked in silence, hand in hand. Neither of them broke the peaceful silence until the moon took the sky.
"My sweet girl, you plan to leave." She said and Carlene almost flinched.
"How did you know..?" Was all she could make out, her mother's words was the only thing needed to trigger the break down of a wall she hadn't even known was in her mind.
"My sweet girl, I have been with you your whole life, and you have never been scared of anything. You might shy away from some things, but you are my daughter and you have never been afraid of anything… but, since you got sick you've been different, scared." Her mother whispered, her beautiful brown eyes looking into Carlene's soul.
"So me and Elder Sophia put together a bag for you and the fastest pikos we could sneak away. It is to carry you as far as you can get it, and when the time comes for it you are to sell it for jenny to keep you going-"
"Mother wait-"
"You will sell it, and I wish for you to take your cousin Iquella with you. He might be only seven, but I don't want you to be alone." Carlene whimpered and trembled, holding back her tears. Her mother's callused hands held her face with the gentle strength only a mother could muster.
"Come with us!" Carlene managed, her shoulders shook as massive sobs wracked her body and she tried to muffle the wails that were treating to tear out of her throat.
"You know I can't…"
"Why not!?" Carlene asked in a shrill cry, tears dripping down her chin.
"I do not know what you fear about my strong and beautiful girl, but I'll stay behind to face it for you till you can fight it yourself." Her mother assured her, even as her brown eyes looked troubled in the dim lighting.
"P-please! You'll die if you stay!" Carlene begged. But her mother only shushed her softly, tucking a stray hair behind her ears.
"Before you go, I'd like to pierce your ears. Just in case I don't get to see you when you're old enough for it."
"Mom, please!"
"You'll always have a home to return to, that is a promise." Carlene wanted desperately to believe her. But she knew this would be their last time together.
She sat on top of the pikos in silence, her mother and Sophia were surrounding them, making sure her and Iquella were comfortable, and if they noticed the extra supplies that they didn't provide then they didn't mention it.
Carlene's eyes were red and puffy, a single earring dangling from her left ear swayed back and forth as the pikos moved back and forth.
"Everything is ready…" her mother was soft as she spoke. Carlene looked at her with eyes filled with grief, a heavy agonized thing.
In the distance, the twisted beak bird clawed, telling the passing of time.
"Thank you…" she said quietly, Iquella looked up at her with confused dark gray eyes, his mahogany hair tied up in a small ponytail. A part of her was sick in the stomach at the thought of taking him with her didn't pass her mind first.
Little Iquella who would look up at her like she embroidered the stars into the sky. Guilt soon turned into determination to keep him safe, no matter what. She questioned how far she would go to keep him safe and decided that it didn't matter and the part of her that had never stopped mourning him clawed jagged wounds on the inside of her ribcage.
"Ride fast, be swift and safe. I will be with you forever and always, my beautiful brave daughter." Goosebumps erupting on her skin despite the warmth of the night.
And before Carlene could say her goodbyes, her mother let go of the reins, making the pikos take off and Carlene to grab hold of the neck feathers to keep her and Iquella from falling off. The deep red gem of her earring swung in the breeze as they rode off, not looking back.
And after they made their way out of the Lukso Province, Iquella finally muttered his first words since they left, "Something bad is gonna happen, isn't it?"
She tightened her grip on the reins, "It doesn't matter, because I'm here with you and I'll keep you safe no matter what." She said instead.
