It took three hours but they reached Berk and got back to their apartment-like always they unpacked first, got dressed in their civilian clothes and relaxed a little with breakfast. Of course-this was just a small break from the driving. So much needed to be done in the course of thirty days when they would ship out for deployment. Bags to pack, people to say goodbye too, calls to make, weapons, vests, helmets, radios and what not to inventory. This was normally Alex's job because he'd been Nightwave leader but now it was Hector and all the responsibility fell on him. Safe to say he would be very busy the next few weeks, on top of trying to battle his oncoming depression. He wished he could push it back knowing it wasn't true what they said about him but he'd heard it with his own ears. They still thought he was a loser, a dork, nerd, know it all...and it hurt to know the people he finally came around to trusting and giving another chance too would say hurtful things. What made it worse was that they didn't even know he heard it all.

"So when we telling your family?" Tallon asked softly when they were sitting on the couch together.

"Is it bad to say that I'm afraid to tell them?" Hector sighed heavily.

"Why you scared?" Tallon asked as he linked his fingers with Hector's.

"Because I'm terrified Dad is gonna go back on what he promised me..." Hector closed his eyes.

"Hey, come on, he won't do that. He almost lost you, you heard him. I don't think he'd hurt you like that again and if he does, I'll kick his ass..." Tallon smiled a bit.

"Gods, I hope you're right...We'll tell them tomorrow. I honestly just feeling working on my music-had lyrics running through my head the whole ride home," Hector smiled back.

"Go on then, I'll come sit with ya after I clean up the dishes." Tallon chuckled some, Hector kissed him lightly and then got up going to his music room to get started. Tallon shook his head and got to cleaning up-twenty minutes into it, there was a knock on the door. Blinking as he dried his hands, he walked over and opened the door to see the guys there. "Hey, what brings you by guys?" he asked.

"Just wanted to make sure he was okay-he talk to you at all?" Drew asked.

"Not really. He seems fine right now, he's in the music room. I'm about to join him," Tallon stated calmly.

"Can we come too? I want to apologize to him for getting a tude," Skylar asked.

"I suppose so, come on in," Tallon nodded as he moved aside to let them inside the apartment. When all were in, Tallon shut the door and tossed the rag towards the counter by the sink and moved towards the music room, Tallon opened the door and poked his head in. He saw Hector in the smaller room-it was an addition. A smaller, secondary room he could perform in without the worry of seeing others. It was a mirror on his side that wouldn't allow him to see who was in the first room and for anyone watching, it was see through. "He's likely recording, he can't see us in the room right now but we can see him." Tallon told them as he walked inside with the others. Hector had it set up with two small couches, the rest was a desk with notebooks on it and a desktop computer. This area was mainly for him to write lyrics and work on the sounds, the smaller room was when he would put it all together and sing while recording too. It was like a small recording studio.

"Can we hear him or is that room sound proof?" Evan asked.

Tallon walked over to the wall and flipped a switch as they heard Hector playing on the guitar-appeared to be trying to find something he wanted to use. "He said he had lyrics going in his head on the drive home and wanted to make it into something," Tallon smiled.

"He say what kind of lyrics they were?" Jessie inquired.

"Nope, just that he had ideas he wanted to get started on," Tallon shrugged as they watched Hector start scrolling through his music again and sighed heavily.

"I wrote this months ago for you, Cody, and still haven't tested it..." they heard him say as Tallon kept his eyes on Hector sitting on the stool. "Guess it's because I can't even get past the first verse without crying because you're gone, and you're not supposed to be. You promised me, you'd have my back when I joined five years ago...and where are you now when I'm about to go on my third tour. The words you told me that day, they still haunt me...You're not...supposed to be dead. I never should've left Iraq that day-Dragon should have stayed and...maybe you'd still be here, Bludvist too. You were down a whole platoon...and I feel like it's my fault because we're the ones who got to leave ahead of everyone else..." Hector looked up again.

"Does...he know we can hear him?" Thaxter asked.

"No. He doesn't even know we're in here until he comes through that door, I wonder if...this has been what's bothering him?" Tallon said gently.

"It's coming back again, harder than before. My depression that is...I don't know why-I had it under control until last night when the others found out I actually did try to kill myself when I was fifteen...I had nightmares about it all night. Seeing myself dead on my bed-others finding me and...not caring. Just laughing, and saying it's about time. I hate the way it feels. The music only makes it go away for a little while-it can't protect me when I'm asleep, when I'm prisoner of my own mind." Hector closed his eyes tightly.

"I think what makes it terrifying is the fact...that voice tells me I'm not alive...that I did die when I was fifteen and this...whatever I'm living is just an endless dream of what I wished my life had been. It's funny...I'm alive and I know that...but I still feel dead inside. I keep having flashback of my high school days-where all I got was bullied. The one that keeps ringing out is the day of my fifteenth birthday: the day my...brother and his cousin with all their friends beat the shit out of me hallway. Reminding me with each hit what a nothing I am. Skylar punched in the gut telling me I was a dorky, nerdy, know-it-all, loser. Drew shoved me in the locker and called me weak, Jessie punched my arm and called me useless, Trent elbowed my face calling me worthless. Darius pushed me to the ground saying I was a nothing..." Hector trailed off trying not to cry.

Tallon was shocked, he turned his head and glared at the four who weren't part of Inferno upon hearing all these things. Hector never went into the actual abuse he got from these guys. "I should beat every single one of your asses here and now for what you did to him," Tallon cracked his knuckles.

"But all that...no. Nothing was worse than what Skylar did after all that," Hector said wiping his eyes and Tallon looked back at him, "He lifted my chin so I was looking right at him and said: You're a nobody. You will always be a disappointing failure. You can't do anything right, no one will ever really like you. You'll never have any friends, and your family could care less about you. Come on, cry for me. I don't think my day would be complete without those tears falling. Remember your place: because no matter where you go, or what you do in your pathetic life, Hector...you will always be a loser because people can't change who they really are. Happy birthday. And it's that...that keeps running through my head. I did so much to change my life, to make it better...but has anything really changed at all? I told them all once before, I have always been this way, does that make their words true? That no matter what I do...I'm still...a disappointing failure, a loser?"

"Tal, that was a long time ago...we're all friends now," Viktor reminded.

"But it still bothers him! Listen to him, he thinks he's alone right now, talking to Cody about all this shit that he had to deal with and still apparently does! You heard him, he said it's still running through his head!" Tallon yelled.

"I just...want the pain to stop...I'm so sick and tired of hurting all the time...I don't...want to die, but I can't...get away from the pain...And every time...I play this guitar...all I do is think about the people who got it for me, the people...who died. Everything is a constant reminder and I can't stop it!" Hector let himself fall to the floor against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest and crying on his arms that rested on his knees. "Just make it stop...Gods, please make it stop..."

"I hope you're fucking happy with yourselves. All the shit you put him through for years, and even now...it's tearing him apart..." Tallon walked over to the computer on Hector's desk and disabled the inside lock with a code, it was something that Hector set up so people couldn't walk in on him recording, a lock on the inside of the second room that so only he could open it and come out but there was also a fail safe to it-a code that allowed the door to be opened from the desktop computer. As soon as it unlocked, Tallon rushed in and pulled Hector against him. "Sssh...it's okay babe, it's okay..." Hector just cried against him.

"I think we should go for now. I don't think Hector is up for visitors," Evan stated, in agreement they nodded and left the room, and then apartment. Hector cried for about twenty minutes before just leaning against him, Tallon still holding him and trying to soothe him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling this way babe? You swore to me last night you would..." Tallon sighed.

"I swore to tell you if I felt like killing myself again...and I don't...I just...the depression is...really active lately," Hector tried to wipe his eyes.

"I know...I heard everything so you don't have to explain it to me. Everything they did to you-it still hurts, doesn't it?" Hector nodded to him slowly, "You can't...keep this inside, and you know that. It's going to destroy you, it's going to make the pain worse, Hector...please...I'm begging you...talk to me. Where did all this come from? You were fine when you sang and then...you just unloaded,"

"I had...written a song after Cody died called...Gone Too Soon. I was...going to sing it at the funeral but I backed out. I've never...heard it finished with everything together because I can't get through it without crying. I know Cody's...always listening and I just...I don't know. There's been so much on my mind since I got promoted to Major, and will be in charge of Nightwave...I'm so stressed out, my chest has been bothering me, I can't sleep, I barely have an appetite and I just feel so...lost..." Hector said.

"Alright, we have things to talk about then. Come on, let's go sit on the couch or in the bedroom with some hot chocolate or coffee and you can tell me what's on your mind. You're not alone anymore, Hector and you need to remember that. You don't have to hold all this inside you. You know I will always listen if you need to talk and I'll anything I can to help you. Any one of us will listen if you need someone to be there to listen, all you need to do is ask. Talk to me, let me help." Tallon offered.

"I-I know, I just...didn't want my pain...to burden anyone. It's...my war to fight, nobody else's." Hector looked down.

Tallon lifted his chin with a soft smile, "Do you remember what we were told at Reception Battalion-after everyone picked their battle buddy? That the two were to become best friends, share pretty much everything, including faults?" Hector nodded to him, "Well, Hector...I'm more than just your lover. I'm also your best friend and your battle buddy. So as the rules say...if you have to feel it, then so do I. We share it all babe. Love, loss, pain, faults, hate-everything. If you have a problem, then it's mine too. If something is bothering you, then it bothers me too. We can figure this out, and make it better together." he added.

"Okay..." Hector replied, Tallon stood up and brought Hector to his feet as they shut down the music room and exited it. Tallon noticed the others were gone-he'd contact Inferno later and update them on Hector but for right now, his boyfriend needed him and the others could wait awhile. Tallon made them both a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch together. Hector took a few sips of it and sighed, he began to tell Tallon everything he was feeling and had been since Cody's death. Hector told him about some of the physically abuse that was done to him from Skylar, Drew, Jessie, Trent, and even Darius. Tallon didn't like hearing it all, and he didn't like when Hector started crying again but didn't blame him. The guy had no one on his side for so long-even this far in, he kept all the pain inside.

Tallon learned that there were deaths that hit Hector hard, but none as hard as Cody's. Hector talked about some of the deaths he'd seen, and he even talked about the conversation he and Cody had that morning on the phone before Cody died. Tallon was shocked to hear all that and it made sense why Hector missed Cody so much. Hector talked about anything bothering him from past to present, it took about two hours but Tallon understood why Hector's depression was starting to rise again-everything was starting to pile up and when that happened, Hector was used to shutting down and letting pain consume him. Tallon wouldn't let that happen this time.

"Hector, there is one more thing I wanted to ask about..." Tallon started as Hector looked over sadly, "Earlier this morning...why did you get mad and snap at the guys-then sit in the truck til I got there. They were just worried about you is all, like I do. I'm your lover, I'll always worry but...they are your friends and they worry too when you just...zone out-well, that's what they said you did anyway. What happened after you left the bathroom with me?"

Hector closed his eyes, "I wasn't...completely honest this morning about why I was crying in the shower..."

"It...wasn't because of Cody?" Tallon asked, Hector shook his head. "Then...what was it because of, babe?"

"I heard what they said about me," Tallon's eyes widened, Hector heard the conversation this morning? "Before you say, how, you were in shower. It's because I left my shaving stuff on the sink to do it when I got out but I figured I'd save time and do it in the shower. I had the towel wrapped around me and I passed the door after getting the razor and heard what Skylar said about me. That I'm still all those things and I just...I was beside myself. I got back in the shower and cried-felt...betrayed that I forgave them, and they...still think that about me. I snapped at them because after I left the bathroom, I was mad. I had a flashback, the one I was tell Cody-the one of my fifteenth birthday. And Skylar's words were running through my head. First him repeating what he said to all of you, then the repeat of that day...and it just...made me feel horrible to wonder if...no matter what I've done or continue to do...am I still..."

Tallon held his hands tightly now, "No, Hector. No. You are not a loser, you're not...any of those things they called you."

"But I've...always been the way I am. I've said this...they just...never noticed it before." Hector looked down.

"Exactly. And you've always been a smart, handsome, strong, kind, caring man with a very sarcastic mouth and hilarious sense of humor. But you are not a loser. You are not worthless, weak, or useless. You are not a nothing, you are not a nobody. I think they always knew you'd be awesome-I think they were just jealous so they brought you down to make you think less of yourself. And when you came back with all that confidence, their fears were confirmed. You were right the day of your eighteenth birthday. Notice how fast they stopped picking on you when they realized their worries of you being awesome came forward? That they only brought you down so they could make you think you weren't who you really were. It's true people can't change who they really are, but you are not the things they said you were. You've always been you, and you always will be you. The only thing that you change is your life and make it go where you want to go. You changed yours, you joined the military and you proved every single one of them wrong about you. Now they see the real you has always been exactly were and will continue to be." Tallon told him softly.

"Then why did they call me those names...they...know how much it hurts me...if they know they were wrong about me then...why they do they see me like that?" Hector closed his eyes now.

"Because people can't change who they really are. Skylar and Trent, they have no regard for personal feelings and I'm pretty sure they have no filter between the brain and mouth," Hector laughed a little at the comment, "They will always be that way, nothing you can do. They all want to be your friend still, but what they see is that you were always a loser to them, however now-they see that it's not a bad thing to be. I know that sucks to hear but it is the truth. They see that being a loser so to speak, isn't so bad. That's why they call you that, because they think that being a loser is cool. But it does not mean you are a loser babe. I did scold them for what they said and they understand it was wrong. Skylar was actually here to apologize to you for getting a tude earlier when you snapped at them and he snapped back. But I assume they left when you broke down in the music room," Tallon kissed his cheek.

"They were...here for all that?" Hector asked.

"Yes. And I yelled at them for the hurt they put you through too. Hector, I don't want you to be afraid to come talk to me when you feel upset. Even if it's something little, okay? I will always be here when you need me: to listen, to talk to, to cry on, to hold you, make you laugh...to love you. I will always be here for you, so don't be afraid to come to me." Tallon said gently holding Hector's hands still.

Hector nodded as he leaned forward and hugged Tallon lightly, "I know. I'm sorry...I've always been used to holding it in-I forget I have friends and you now. I'll remember from now on baby. Thank you...for listening and making me feel better," Hector said sighing out with some relief now. Tallon hugged him back tighter.

"That's my job as your battle buddy, best friend, and lover babe. But it's not a job, it's an honor and pleasure." Tallon smiled. "So you do feel better?" he asked.

"Much. It'll always be there, some days will always be harder than others but as long as I have you and our friends-I think I'll be okay from now on," Hector replied.

"That's what I like to hear. So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Tallon linked his fingers with Hector's.

"Honestly, after all that crying and talking...I want to sleep..." Hector laughed slightly.

"Then, let's get some sleep. Oh, one more thing though," Tallon said as Hector looked at him. "You...will be okay when we go to Afghanistan, right?"

Hector smiled as he locked his fingers to Tallon's, "I will be with you by my side,"

"And that is where I will remain forever, Hector. I love you with my everything," Tallon said softly staring into his eyes.

"As I love you with mine and will forever stand by you," Hector said, they shared a deep kiss before making their way to the bedroom after Tallon locked the apartment door up. They held one another and both ended up falling right to sleep in fifteen minutes.

(One Month Later)

The month went by so fast it seemed. It was March 15th, marking several occasions for the month alone. One, it was five years since Hector joined the military and met the friends he had now. Two, it was one year that Tallon and Hector had been dating. And three, it was the day they left for Afghanistan to start their third tour of duty with Hector leading the entire Nightwave Company at the rank of Major while he was only twenty two years old. Telling the family was hard to do but they stayed supportive and wished them safety-and a hopeful soon to return home for leave or end of tour. Military law stated that a tour had to be a minimum of six months though so they knew they wouldn't be out sooner than that. Hector took care of everything for the company-it was stressful but Tallon helped him through it. Everything was ready and it was 10:35pm as everyone was arriving to Berk Airfield for the 11pm flight that would take them to their first layover location being Romania. It was going to be a very long night for all the soldiers.

Of the course of the month, Tallon scolded Skylar and Trent for what they said about Hector and also informed them that Hector had in fact heard what they said and that's why he was so upset that day. All of them apologized to Hector and he forgave them-but also reminded them the pain would always be there and that wasn't something he could stop, only suppress. When that was settled, everyone was back to being happy again. A lot of families were at airfield tonight, sending their good well wishes and saying tearful goodbyes. Hector was making sure everything that needed to come with them was getting on the plane. He'd admit that this new rank forced a lot of new jobs and responsibility on him, but he would push through-this is what he signed up for after all. It was hard to believe it'd been five years already, one more year and he had to make the choice if he'd resign another active duty contract or go part time.

Turned out that Drew, Jessie, Skylar, Trent, and Darius all had contracts for two years. They'd already served one, they joined in May 2019 from their finalization of MEPS, when Hector got them in June it was for Basic and AIT. Now it was March 2021 and their contracts would be up in May which was only two months away. He wondered which of them would resign and which would leave for part time. He assumed that Drew would since he had a baby on the way-due in four months actually. But as for Skylar, Trent, Jessie, and Darius: Hector hadn't the faintest idea. Tallon said he'd follow whatever Hector did-it was pointless for one to resign and not the other, they wanted to stay together. Inferno decided to do the same. They wouldn't have their group split up for anything. As 10:50pm struck on Hector's watch he sighed, time to get this over with.

"NIGHTWAVE, ATTENTION!" he called out firmly over the noise of the plane engines. The soldier did as they were told and stood at attention according to platoon, "Right then. We ship out in ten minutes, grab your bags and start loading up!" Hector ordered.

"Yes Major Haddock!" they replied.

"Dismissed!" Hector told them as he closed his eyes and went to bid his family a goodbye, Gobber was there too and of course all the girls to say goodbye to their boyfriends. Except Jessie since he was dating the girl from Wolf platoon. Ten minutes passed slow but all soldiers were loaded and Hector was last with a two finger quick salute to his family and anyone else watching. The back hatch closed as he looked at the soldiers who were sitting down and belted in. "Roll call of platoon. Dragon?"

Tallon stood with a salute, "All present, Major Haddock." he replied firmly.

"Wolf?" Hector called.

Kerry, the new leader of the platoon stood with a salute as well. "All accounted for sir," Hector nodded.

"Lion platoon, Lieutenant Vasquez?" Hector inquired looking to him.

"All here, Major Haddock sir." Raymond nodded to him.

"Bear, Lieutenant Peyton?" Hector glanced to him.

"Present and accounted for," Asher answered.

"Very good then." Hector closed his eyes getting his radio out and pressing the button on the side.

{Major Haddock to Transport Alpha. All soldiers accounted for, cargo secured. We're ready for lift off.}

{Copy that, Major Haddock.}

Hector secured his radio back to his belt after flipping it off and then took his seat aside Tallon with his eyes closed after belting himself in. "Been a long day, Love. Get some rest, I'll wake you when we get to Romania in four hours and forty four minutes." Tallon smiled. Hector nodded as they shared a kiss and Hector laid his head on his shoulder, right after lift off and the wheels were raised, the announcement was made they had lift off and then Hector could relax a little. The last thing that crossed his mind before sleep took over was,

'So it begins again,'