The morning seemed to be going well, in Tallon's eyes at least. Hector was finally feeling better on a physical and emotional level, he was smiling again, and even back to playing his music which he admitted to losing his drive to do over the last week on top of being sick for seven days. Their friends were over, everyone piling into the music room to watch him strum on his guitar and play different beats from his computer-he even had his notebook on the stand in front of him which was connected to the microphone stand so he could write things down. The group were just talking among themselves watching him closely, he genuinely seemed happier but he was a long ways off from being okay again-but at least for now he was back to using his outlet, or at least that's what they all referred to it as since it wasn't far from the truth. Hector had admitted to him using it as a distraction from the pain, but he had Tallon now too and Hector knew he could always go to him for help just like he had in the last six years since they had met at Reception.
"You think he'll sing today?" asked Heather who was sitting in one of the metal chairs.
"That depends on him. He said he was feeling better and got through breakfast without throwing up, guess it rides on if he finishes something. Looks like he's working on putting lyrics and music together now," Tallon replied as he heard a ding come from the computer next to him to see a message pop up from Hector in the other room: can you bring me a water bottle please, babe?. Tallon nodded to him as he smiled from the window and Tallon got up and left the room, he returned a minute later with a water bottle as Hector opened the studio door and Tallon handed it to him.
"Thanks, baby," Hector kissed him gently, Tallon returned it as always then Hector saw their friends and smiled at them. "Hey guys and girls," he added.
"Morning, Hector. How are you?" Mandy smiled back at him.
"I'm alright, just working on something from a long time ago." Hector replied calmly.
"How long ago?" Darius asked.
"Right before Tal and I got together two years ago. It was...right after Christmas Eve in Iraq when he'd kissed me and I got wicked confused on my feelings for him," Hector stated.
"Hah, told you!" Darius pointed at Tallon, "We told him what he did confused the shit out of you, we even called it that he had feelings for you too."
"Don't tease, Darius," Carmen sighed some shaking her head. "What's it called, Hector?" she smiled now.
"Doesn't have a title yet. Just lyrics and working on music for it," Hector told her. "Almost done finally," he added afterwards.
"Can't wait to hear it, I'm sure it'll be great." Tallon kissed Hector's forehead.
"Well lucky you, I'm about to test it out." Hector smiled as he let go of Tallon and moved back inside the room and the door shut closed, Tallon sat back down at the desk as Hector put his guitar down, then flipped a switch as they saw a red light come on over the window-meaning he was about to start recording. Hector pressed the spacebar on his laptop and took a breath after pulling the microphone closer to him.
"Sparks fly, it's like electricity. I might die, when I forget how to breathe. You get closer and there's nowhere, in this world I'd rather be. Time stops, like everything around me. It's frozen. And nothing matters but these, few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen!" Hector started as they all just look forward and watched listening in.
"'Cause when I'm kissin' you, my senses come alive. Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find. Falls right into place. You're all that it takes. My doubts fade away, when I'm kissin' you. When I'm kissin' you, it all starts making sense. And all the questions I've been askin' in my head. Like are you the one? Should I really trust? Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' you." the music softened again as Tallon smiled. It never got old for him to watch Hector sing-he was really talented and nothing was better than seeing the smile on his face.
"Past loves, they never got very far. Walls up. Made sure I'm guarding my heart. And I promised I wouldn't do this, 'til I knew it was right for me. But no one(no one), no guy that I met before, could make me(make me), feel so right and secure. And have you noticed, I lose my focus-and the world around me disappears!" Hector sang as Tallon just relaxed. This song was meant to represent the fact of how Hector felt whenever he and Tallon kissed before getting together.
"'Cause when I'm kissin' you, my senses come alive. Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find. Falls right into place. You're all that it takes. My doubts fade away, when I'm kissin' you. When I'm kissin' you, it all starts making sense. And all the questions I've been askin' in my head. Like are you the one? Should I really trust? Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' you." Hector smiled, his eyes falling on his husband now while he continued.
"I've never felt nothing like this. You're making me open up. No point in even trying to fight this. It kinda feels like it's love!..." he paused a moment as it softened, "'Cause when I'm kissin' you, my senses come alive. Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find," the music picked up again, "Falls right into place. You're all that it takes. My doubts fade away, when I'm kissin' you. When I'm kissin' you, it all starts making sense. And all the questions I've been askin' in my head. Like are you the one? Should I really trust? Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' you."
Hector finished as when the music came to a stop he pressed the spacebar and flipped the switch for the red light off, he moved off the stool then pressed a button to open the door that would take him back into the main area where they were all smiling and clapping for him. Tallon got up and kissed him deeply-effectively making him blush. "That was amazing," Tallon whispered softly.
"Well, it's how I felt for you every time we kissed before becoming a couple. But I was just so confused about everything that I never said anything," Hector replied.
"Completely understandable, Love. I'm glad my kisses made you feel that way-even before we got together," Tallon chuckled some.
"And they still do the same thing," Hector smiled lying his head on his husband's chest. "I got one more I finished today too. Something you inspired me to come up with," he poked at Tallon's chest.
"I inspired you?" he arched a brow questioningly at Hector.
"Mmhm, want to hear it?" Hector asked him.
"Absolutely," Tallon nodded as Hector smiled and then returned inside the room as he got everything set up again: microphone close, and laptop at the ready. However first, he grabbed a dry erase marker and opened it.
"Don't freak out over what gets written on the screen. It's for the sake of the song," Hector stated knowing they could hear him. Hector started writing words: Worthless, Useless, Nothing, Nobody, Burden, Weak, Twig, Pain, Hurt, Scars. Hector stopped and flipped on the red light as the music started only he didn't sit down like last time-he had on a small microphone that hooked around his ear. The music started as they watched closely.
"You are not your make up, not your clothes. An anonymous face that no one knows. You're not a skin color, a pretty face-the number of inches around your waist. There's so much that you've been through that nobody knows, so many things you never show..." he paused a moment. "You're more than labels. More than pain...Baby, you're more than your mistakes. And you've got something to say...Ohhh woah!" he held it a moment before grabbing a hand towel from beside him and smiling wide with the pause.
"When will you realize, baby, you're worth it! You don't have to do anything to earn it. Baby, you're perfect. You deserve it. When will you see what I see...And realize you're worth it." as he sang that he wiped off the words: Useless, Nothing, Nobody, Hurt, and Weak. The music softened again and he kept going.
"You are not a burden, not a waste. You are not a copy, can't be replaced. You're not your pain, you're not your past. Your scars will never hold you back. There's so much that you've been through that nobody knows, so many things you never show..." he took a breath, "You're more than labels. More than pain. Baby, you're more than your mistakes. And you've got something to say...Ohhh woah!" he smiled wide again as Tallon smiled to. He understood now, it was from this morning when he told Hector: 'You're worth it'.
"When will you realize, baby, you're worth it! You don't have to do anything to earn it. Baby, you're perfect. You deserve it. When will you see what I see...And realize you're worth it." Hector sang as he wiped down the words: Burden, Twig, Pain, and Scars. The only one remaining up there was Worthless now.
"You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it..." he trailed off a bit as the music slowed considerably.
"You're more than labels, more than pain. Baby, you're more than your mistakes. And you've got something to say...Oohhhh woah!" he sang out as it paused, going silent a moment and then, "When will you realize, baby, you're worth it. Don't have to do anything to earn it. Baby, you're perfect, you deserve it! When will you see what I see, and realize you're worth it!" Hector erased the less off Worthless and rewrote the word in quotation marks: You're Worth It.
"You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it, baby, you're worth it! You're worth it..." the music stopped as he pressed the spacebar and flipped the light off. Tallon didn't even wait for Hector to open the door-he opened it himself with the code and pulled his husband into his arms.
"Now there's my Hector," Tallon kissed him deeply, Hector smiled and kissed him back-wrapping his arms around Tallon's neck. Tallon broke the kiss after a thirty seconds and hugged Hector tightly. "Personally think that's the best song you've ever written," he added.
"Well, I wrote it because that's how you made me feel. How you all made me feel, like I was worth it so now, I actually feel like I am." Hector said.
"That song deserves to go public. It could help a lot of others," Danielle suggested.
"I'll consider it," Hector replied gently now, "For now, I need a break...still kind'a sick, throat hurts..." he added with a slight cough.
"Well, at least you're not throwing up anymore," Tallon said as Hector shut down the studio and everyone filed out into the living room and closed the music room door. They all took a seat as Tallon got Hector something for his throat and cough, then sat down as well relaxing. "How's your stomach feel today?"
"It's not bad. I took two painkillers after the shower so that might have something to do with it," Hector smiled then glanced at the others and sighed, "Guys, I'm really sorry about yesterday-I never...meant for it to happen. And I'm sorry you all had to see that," he apologized softly.
"Don't worry about it, Tallon explained what happened. We're just glad we go to ya when we did, and we're glad you're feeling better somewhat in both departments," Ryan told him and put a hand on his shoulder calmly.
"You guys are seriously the best, you know that. You especially," Hector smiled some as he leaned on Tallon's shoulder comfortably. In the silence, there was a knock at the door as Tallon got up to answer it. As he opened the door he was shocked to see the president standing there with two body guards as well as the General of the Army, Gary Robinson.
"Mr. President, General Robinson...what a nice surprise? What can I do for you?" Tallon greeted.
"Hello, Lieutenant Furysen. Is your husband home?" Gary asked softly. Tallon opened the door and revealed Hector to be on the couch with the others. "Ah, thank you. General Furysen, may we have a word?"
"Um, sure, I guess. Private matter I assume?" Hector asked while getting to his feet slowly. Both men nodded to him as he motioned to the music room and they all entered with the body guards posted outside of it. Of course the music room was sound proof so the others wouldn't hear the conversation so they just had to wait it out, but it did raise the question of why the president and General of the Army were at the Furysen's door and asking to speak with Hector privately.
"What do you think it's about?" Evan asked.
"No idea. Must be military related if the president and General of the Army are here and asking to speak to him alone," Tallon replied calmly-the last time something like this happened, Hector was running a dangerous, top secret mission that he couldn't tell them about until after a certain point. Tallon hoped that wasn't the case again-Hector had enough going on as it was with healing from being sick and the incident yesterday, throwing him back into the fire like that wouldn't be beneficial at all. They continued to sit out there and talk for about forty five minutes until the door opened and they all walked out.
"I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you, gentleman-but right now I got a lot going on, so you're going to have to give me some time to think about it. I trust you understand?" Hector stated to them.
"Of course we do. We'll give you time to consider what we've asked-be mindful of the time constraint though. We need to know in a week so we can start preparing things or find another solution," Gary told him.
"You will have my answer in six days then," Hector stated firmly, the two men nodded and left, the guards following close. Hector closed the door and sighed.
"Should I even ask what all that was about?" Heather asked.
"Nothing you're allowed to know. Classified information," Hector replied slowly.
"You're not allowed to tell us again, right?" Skylar asked.
"It's gotta be another mission they want him to do. I know you can't tell us whatever it is but if we guess it, then you didn't tell us. Just nod," Thaxter offered to Hector. "Is it another classified mission?" Hector gave a single nod silently.
"And there's only a small window in which to complete it?" Drew asked next. Hector nodded again.
"Are you gonna do it?" Ryan asked.
"I don't know. It's one like the first. Dangerous, classified to certain people, have to have the right training, skills...and I just don't know if I wanna do something like that again...and I really don't wanna run it solo-that was way too hard." Hector closed his eyes now. Tallon hugged him from behind.
"You know I'll always support your choices, Hector but I don't know if right now is a good time to be running a mission..." Tallon stated softly.
"I know, that's why I said I needed time to think about it. I'm not even sure if I can handle doing something like that again, especially solo..." Hector mumbled leaning into him.
"Don't do it solo then, you know we'll come with you." Skylar offered.
"It's not that simple. You weren't...trained for these kinds of missions, the only people who were are dead-aside from me," Hector glanced over now.
"Put us through the training then, we can handle it." Trent suggested.
"No, you can't. It's not just training-it's extensive training. Literally built to test your limits and push you past them, test how much pain you can handle, test your ability to keep quiet while interrogated and tortured. It's not easy and like I said...only ten people survived that training from thirty who entered it. And these people selected who scored top marks in their BCT and AIT training...not to mention also, there's not enough time to do it. The mission window is in a month and if you recall I trained for five months-two days out of drill each and then a final week right before we deployed," Hector explained and closed his eyes again, "Besides...I'd never endanger your lives over a mission because in the truth of it...if anything happened to any of you, I'll fucking snap completely..." he added slowly.
They all knew what he meant too. He'd lose it and likely kill himself if any of them got killed running this kind of a mission with him. Tallon held him tighter-at least he was being honest about his feelings regarding it all. "Whatever you want to do, we stand by you," Tallon told him gently. Hector sighed as he got him phone from his pocket and pressed the number two speed dial, Hector put it on speaker phone as it ran three times before a familiar voice was heard.
"General Furysen, made your choice already?" came Gary's voice.
"I have," Hector said as the others all sat there waiting to hear what he'd choose, "I've decided to decline the mission," their eyes widened in shock. Even Tallon was surprised, "Sorry, General Robinson but I won't endanger my friends by bringing them along. I know my limit and doing something like that is past the limit. It's suicide-I'd never make it out alive. I hope you can understand," Hector stated.
"A very well thought out decision, General. We understand perfectly. Thank you for considering it nevertheless," said president Morgan. Hector then hung up the phone and took a deep breath before smiling some.
"You turned it down?" Tallon asked softly.
"Like I said. I know my limits-taking on another mission like in Afghanistan would push me past it. I'd lose it if you guys came and it's suicide to go alone. Best option was walk away from it entirely," Hector leaned against him gently now. Tallon held him close, proud of his decision. Hector was learning his limits-he knew how dangerous the mission was and he didn't want to endanger them or himself so he chose not to go at all.
"I love you," Tallon kissed his cheek lightly, Hector turned in his arms and kissed him on the lips. Tallon returned it gently and they held it a moment.
"I love you too," Hector replied relaxing now. He felt good right now-turning down the mission gave him some sense of power over himself. He was given a choice, several actually: to take the mission with his team, or go solo and he knew both could result in death being the worst possible outcome and he didn't want to risk that or anyone being hurt so he chose to decline and everything would be fine because everyone would be safe. It gave him the feeling like he was in control again, nothing could go wrong if he stayed away from it. He knew being in the military, things like this could happen and they could be deployed again but if he could avoid situations then he would. Hector knew his limits, and as long as he did then he could control all aspects of his life. Good and bad. Knowing this made him all the happier.
