Dimitri loves me. He is in love with me. I don't even think he meant for me to hear it, whispering it as I fell asleep. He hasn't said it to me today either.
Unless he was avoiding it because I didn't say it back?
I needed to get advice, and luckily, Lissa had just entered the kitchen. She was saying something to Christian when I grabbed her arm and pulled her outside. Christian complained that I kept stealing his girlfriend as we slipped through the back door.
"Oh, good morning to you too. I'm actually hungry –"
"I just need a minute," I replied, not letting go of her arm until we were standing on the side of the house. I stepped back, leaning against the brick wall, crossing my arms.
Lissa raised an eyebrow, eyes searching mine, "What's wrong? Did last night not go well?"
"No, it was good, really good," I assured her, a goofy smile on my face thinking of how much I enjoyed watching the stars with him. "It's just that…Dimitri—he said the thing."
She tilted her head. "The thing?"
I bounced on the heels of my feet, becoming nervous to voice it out loud. "The L-word."
"Lesbian?"
I groaned, "No! Love! He said he loves me!"
"Oh." She blinked, then her eyes widened as my words clicked. "Oh! Did you say it back?"
I grimaced, "No, but I think he said it only because he thought I was asleep. I think… I hope so. Should I say it back to him?"
"Do you want to say it back?"
I worried my lower lip between my teeth. I wasn't sure how to respond, I liked Dimitri—cared for him—I think I was falling in love with him. But I don't think I was ready to admit it out loud.
"If he thought you were asleep, then I think you can wait until he says it again," Lissa offered, squeezing my shoulder. "You liked your surprise though, right?"
I rolled my eyes, grateful for a conversation change. "Yes. I don't know how you managed to keep that to yourself."
She sighed dramatically, taking my arm as we walked back inside. "You made it really hard. I was worried I was going to have to force you."
Dimitri closed the doors to the recreation room, giving us privacy while talking with Tasha. Lissa and Christian were also in the room.
As Dimitri crossed to the couches, Lissa stood from her spot to sit beside Christian and Tasha on the opposite couch.
I felt my anxiety ease when he sat beside me, leaning my shoulder to be touching his. Tasha shot him a look, obviously confused why he was so close but didn't comment on it.
She focused back on me, giving me a large smile, "Rose, you're hard to get alone."
I crossed my arms, not at all excited for this conversation. "Yeah, things have been complicated."
"Lissa mentioned you were going through the withdrawals. Most omegas I've met say that they eased off completely after a month."
I frowned. "I have another two weeks of this? Great." Dimitri's hand covered my knee, rubbing it soothingly.
Tasha's eyes watched the movement. "Yes… After your body has been used to the drugs for three years, it takes a while. But you should be noticing the difference."
I nodded, already I was feeling stronger, and when I had an appetite I could eat more than I used to.
"What do they do when omegas leave the academy? Won't they notice the difference and realise they aren't as weak as before?" Lissa asked.
"Most keep getting the drug without knowing about it. Or they have been so conditioned by the academies that they don't try to improve their strength." Tasha explained with a sad smile.
I scoffed, muttering, "Being told you are weak and useless every day does that to you." I looked back up at Tasha, "Why do they do it? Just because some old guy was scared of us?"
"There was a birth shortage at the beginning of the 1900s because of rogue attacks, so the King at the time decided to use the drugs to gain more of a control over omegas. It's also why omegas are often left in the care of the academies. This way they could be groomed for being more submissive and willing to procreate and increase the number of Royals."
"So, we are just babymakers because they took away our choice and then made us all believe it was our own fault because of our secondary gender?" Finding out the reasons why things were the way it was didn't help me with my anger, instead, added to it all.
A thick tension settled in the room, sad looks directed at me making me bristle. I didn't want their pity.
"I'm afraid so, and that's why I am going to reveal all of this to the public. Everything that they made you go through, it needs to be shared so that we can get you the rights you deserve," Tasha's voice was full of determination, "And I'm talking about real change. Respect for omegas, the choice of whatever job you want, and to have the choice in who you mate with rather than what the academy arranges."
Dimitri became stiff beside me, head dropping down. My hand moved to his. "I don't blame you for that."
He frowned. "I am still at fault. I took your choice –"
"They took my choice," I replied firmly. "If I was in my right mind, I would have chosen you." At least I hoped I would have. Who knows with the drugs, maybe I would never have noticed his scent and would've turned him down. Then I would've been stuck at the academy, and then sent who knows where.
It wasn't the best of circumstances that brought me to Dimitri, to this life, but I didn't regret it.
Tasha continued talking, drawing my attention away from Dimitri, "If you join, it may help in encouraging others to speak out, especially because you will know some of the omegas that are old enough to be leaving the academy you were at. They will trust you more."
"I doubt it," I replied, shifting my hand to rub over the scars on my wrist covered by my sleeve, "I wasn't exactly friends with any of them."
After I was locked in that cell for a week, and the omegas had been made to watch my suffering, they all stayed away from me. Which was why I so easily gave into Jesse's kind words. I had no one in the academy and that made me an easy target for those that wanted to hurt me, so I closed myself off from everyone.
"Still, I'm sure you could shed a lot of light on what it was like there. The punishments that they would use."
I swallowed thickly, clenching my fists.
Dimitri's arm settled around me, making me jump, he encouraged me to lean in close to his neck. "Slow breaths, Roza."
I hadn't realised how quick my breath had become. I pressed close, taking slow, deep breaths, letting his scent wash over me.
After talking about what happened to me last night, I had felt some of the weight of it lift from my chest, but it had also brought it and everything else closer to the surface. If I let it, it would drag me down to the dark places of my mind that I didn't want to think of.
"I've been meaning to ask," Tasha started, sounding uncertain, "how did you end up here, Rose?" I glanced over at her, seeing suspicion in her expression as she eyed Dimitri.
My hand gripped his defensively. "Dimitri's my mate."
All eyes in the room fell on me again, but this time in surprise. None of them had been expecting me to reveal it and not so possessively. I didn't want to leave any chance that she didn't understand. If needed I was willing to pull my collar down to show the bite as proof.
Tasha blinked in surprise, taking a moment to find her words. "Oh, well, congratulations." She licked her lips, putting on a smile that looked somewhat forced, "An omega as Luna, I'm sure Court will love that."
Her tone wasn't necessarily cruel, but I still felt myself shrink at her words. I don't know what the academy was planning exactly when they forced me to be with Dimitri. It could be to try to weaken his pack and standing if no one takes an omega Luna seriously.
Though I wondered if there was another reason for why.
"We haven't made it public yet, I would appreciate it if you keep it to yourself," Dimitri explained, pulling me closer.
"Sure," She agreed, eyes flicking to mine, "Having a mate is going to make your heat easier to handle."
My face flushed. I didn't want to have this conversation. "That's not—Can we not talk about that."
At least she had the decency to look guilty. With a noise of exclamation, Tasha reached for her purse, sorting through it until she pulled out a small container. "I brought these just in case." I took the container, opening it to find pills. "They won't stop your heats, but they will reduce them and keep you more level headed throughout."
I looked down at the small, white pills, they didn't look like the kind the academy would give us. When it came time for our heats they would lock us in a separate building for the seven days it took for it to pass. The pills they gave us were enough to stop us from completely losing our minds, but we would be left alone in the room to suffer through the cramps. Food and water delivered only in the mornings.
Omegas go through it every three months and I dreaded it each time. It was nothing but pain and loss of control.
"You should also look into getting put on birth control."
My cheeks heated again, ducking my head so the others wouldn't see how red I was. Dimitri cleared his throat beside me, shifting uncomfortably. "Thanks." I forced out.
"You're welcome," Tasha replied in a cheerful voice, "Anyway, give what I've mentioned some thought, Rose. We could help a lot of people together."
"I need to think about it," I told her honestly. I needed time to work through everything.
"Of course. If you have more questions, just come ask."
I nodded, quickly rising from my seat. "I need a moment," I explained to Dimitri, noticing his concerned expression. With the container of pills clasped tight in my hand, I exited the room.
"I thought I might find you here."
I cracked my eyes open to find Dimitri standing in the doorway of the gazebo, the sunlight coming through the stained glass, casting a wash of colours over him.
I was struck by how good looking he was, his toned and muscular body filling his button up long sleeve under his duster, jeans looking more like they were painted on. It really was amazing he didn't have a mate sooner.
He tilted his head to the side, hair falling into his face. I had chosen to relax a little, lying down on the bench in the gazebo, soaking in the warmth of the sun without worrying about the chill from the wind.
I rolled so that I was sitting up, making space for him on the bench beside me. He joined me, leaning back and enjoying the sun, neither of us speaking for a while.
"Am I a bad person if I don't want to do it?"
Dimitri glanced at me, shaking his head, "No. You've been through a lot, no one will blame you for not wanting to take part."
I sighed, leaning my head back against the glass behind us. "Then why do I feel like one?"
"Because you are a good person that wants to help others."
My lips twitched in a smile, then frowned again. "I don't know if I can talk about everything. There was stuff… I don't… There are things I don't want others to know."
I could feel his eyes on me, knowing that if I looked, I would be able to see the questions in them. Not that I blamed him but I couldn't tell him either.
"You don't have to decide today. No one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to." There was a fierceness to his words, a promise to me that I could trust him to keep. I dropped my head to the side so it was leaning against his shoulder.
"Thank you, Dimitri." I dragged my finger along his arm, drawing patterns mindlessly. "So, does that mean no one is going to force me to go to the family dinner tonight?"
With everything else going on, I had forgotten that today was Sunday, another family dinner with Yeva and Sonya. At least I could look forward to the pack run.
Dimitri chuckled. "If you really don't want to, I won't make you."
I pouted, peeking up at him, "But you would like me to?"
"Yes, Roza. I promise it will be better this time. Lissa and Christian will be there," He added with an assuring smile.
That did sound more appealing. "I haven't seen Yeva since I yelled at her."
"As much as I would like everyone to get along, I won't pressure you to talk to her."
"Thanks," I replied. I focused on his arm again, feeling another question on the tip of my tongue, "Why were you so surprised before, when I told Tasha you were my mate?"
He took a moment to respond. "Because," His fingers caught mine, "it was the first time I've heard you say it out loud to someone. I liked it."
A smile worked its way onto my face. "I liked saying it."
Lissa held up a powder blue long sleeve, "Oh this one will look pretty. And give you cleavage."
I levelled my eyes at her. "Liss, we are eating dinner with Dimitri's whole family, I don't need to be showing cleavage."
She pouted but returned the shirt to its place in the closet, my clothes now taking up half of the space. The other half that was Dimitri's side was looking sad in comparison, though I knew that Dimitri was keeping most of his things in the room he had been staying in. Considering how much I enjoyed sleeping beside him at night, I was thinking it was time I ask him to move back to his own room.
It was a big step for me, and this morning proved that there may be days when I have to remind myself that I was still safe. But I wanted Dimitri to stay here with me. Tasha mentioning my heat made it very obvious that we needed to have a conversation about that stuff, both getting me on birth control and what I wanted to do for my heat.
Just thinking about it made the blush return in full force. I was both embarrassed and filled with anticipation as to what sharing a heat with someone would be like. The thought of Dimitri seeing how desperate I get during the week of my heat made me want to hide somewhere far from him, but then to have someone take care of me and ease the pain of it, especially a true mate, could be an amazing experience.
Granted I had nothing to really compare it to. My only experience that was close to sex was… thankfully it never got that far.
Dimitri would be my first.
"Earth to Rose?"
I jerked back from Lissa's hand as it waved in front of my face, finding her standing before me with another shirt in hand. I looked at it and frowned, "I want something with longer sleeves." The green one she had was only three quarters, I don't remember trying it on at the stores.
"You could wear a sweater over it," She offered with a smile, eyes flicking to my wrist and then back up with a kind smile. There was no doubting that she had noticed my scars, especially after seeing me in the dress.
"I don't think I picked that out yesterday."
She shrugged, "Maybe Dimitri chose it for you. I can look for something else."
"No, I'll wear it." I cursed under my breath at how quickly I changed my mind, the knowing look in Lissa's eyes made it worse. "We have to be down soon. That's why I'm okay with it."
"Sure," She smirked, passing me the shirt, disappearing back into the closet to retrieve a black cardigan to wear over it.
Once I was dressed, Lissa loosely braided my hair to the side, making sure it was still covering the bite mark for when we see the rest of the pack afterwards. As she worked I told her what happened last week and what I said to Yeva on the stairs two days ago.
"That wasn't very nice of her to say that to you," Lissa complained, an angry expression on her face as she tied off my braid. Placing her hands on her hips, "Do you want me to say something to her?"
I chuckled, "No. I am going to prove that she is wrong."
A bright smile covered her face. "Yes, you will!"
Dimitri was right, the dinner was better this time. As soon as his eyes found mine when we joined them, he grinned.
"I like that shirt."
I ran a hand over it self-consciously. "Did you choose it?"
"Yes. I like the colour on you."
I sat at the end of the table, between Dimitri and Lissa. Viktoria was on the opposite side, a strange look on her face when I greeted her.
Thankfully, Yeva didn't say anything to me, talking only in Russian. I was able to relax more this time with Lissa and Christian to talk to, even making fun of the food he had made when he helped Olena make dinner.
It was nice to not need to be saved by Alberta again.
"Karo, Rose will be helping out at City Hall this week, so you will have someone to help you," Dimitri directed towards his oldest sister. I had had the least amount of interaction with Karolina, but she gave me a kind smile that calmed my nerves.
"That would be great," She replied, her accent almost as thick as Olena's, "If you come in tomorrow I can show you around."
"Sounds great," I agreed. Dimitri squeezed my knee under the table. A bright smile on his face that made my heart skip a beat.
As everyone headed out to join the others at the front of the house, Dimitri caught my wrist, waiting until the room was empty before leaning down to press a soft kiss to my lips. A giddy feeling rose in me, snaking my hands up to his shoulders, pulling him down as I went up on my toes.
After a couple of minutes, we reluctantly broke away from each other, breathless from the kisses we shared. I didn't remove my arms, fingers twirling in the ends of his hair that was tied back in a low ponytail.
Dimitri hummed, a blissful look on his face, "I've been wanting to do that since you came down with Lissa."
A giggle escaped before I could stop it, blushing, "Me too." Being with Dimitri gave me such a light feeling. Rather than my stomach in knots, it felt like butterflies.
"Will we be having another race tonight? Or are you going to run with Lissa?"
I pursed my lips in thought. "I'll run with Lissa, it's been so long since I have." He gave me a fond smile, though there was a little disappointment in his eyes. "I might come find you at the end, see who can get back first."
Amusement shone in his eyes. "I look forward to it."
I waited a couple of minutes after Dimitri left before heading to the front. The crowd of people had already gathered making it difficult to find Lissa and others. If there weren't so many I could try to find them by their scent, but that seemed to still be repressed by the drugs. So far I could only pick Dimitri's out of the collection that surrounded me.
I started moving through the crowd, ducking my head out of habit. Most smiled or greeted me, others just ignored me, carrying on with their conversations. As I was sidestepping a group a woman stepped back, her elbow colliding with my shoulder making me stumble forward.
Our eyes met for a moment, I dropped mine back down at the glare in hers.
I could feel the eyes of the whole group on my back as I walked away, trying to put as much distance between us. Guess it was too much to hope that none of the pack would have issues with me. Now I had them along with Jesse and the black-haired girl.
When I spotted Lissa through the crowd I sighed in relief. She and Christian were standing by the edge of the woods with Tasha, she and Ivan had been absent from the dinner this time.
"Hey," She greeted me warmly. I was wary that she would start asking me about joining her in the fight against Court but she seemed happy to just chat with us.
When I finally started relaxing, I was startled to hear Dimitri's voice in my head.
"Everyone shift. We'll start soon."
I blinked, wide-eyed, turning to Lissa when she called my name. "I think Dimitri just mind linked with the pack, we are leaving soon."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you look so surprised?"
"I've never been part of the mind links with the pack." I grinned, eagerly reaching for Dimitri. "I think I just heard you talking to the pack."
I could hear his joy in his voice. "That's good. It means you're accepting the pack as your own."
I wanted to say more but realised everyone was starting to shift. Looking around me, I realised the only place I could strip without everyone seeing was behind the trees in the forest. "I'm just going to change over there," I explained to Lissa. "Don't leave without me."
"You aren't going to run with Dimitri?" She asked, choosing to not comment on my shyness.
"I will join him when we start to head back." At her nod, I stepped away and behind the trees. It wasn't as good as the bush Viktoria led me to last time, but combined with the shadows it was enough of a cover.
I folded my clothes, careful to cover the shirt so it didn't get any dirt on it, hiding them behind the tree so I could return here and change afterwards. I shifted quickly, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of releasing my wolf, stretching my legs and back.
With a happy yip, I rejoined Lissa, she and Christian already shifted. Lissa was only a little taller than me, her fur almost white in colour. Seeing her beside Christian who was the same height with black fur, they looked almost like yin and yang. I didn't see Tasha with them, wondering if she went to join Dimitri at the front.
When the pack took off, we followed after, running at a slower pace than I had last time. Lissa never was very fast, not that I minded, just enjoying the feeling of the breeze moving through my fur.
Once again I noticed how intense scents were now, easily catching onto Dimitri's and even Alberta's from the back of the group. Lissa smelt like strawberries and Christian reminded me of the smell of burning wood.
Dimitri's scent was becoming tantalising, too much so for me to keep ignoring. I made a sound to Lissa nodding forward, telling her I was going ahead before speeding up.
It was easy enough to slip through the group with my speed and size. Once I made it past the wolves in front of us, the group thinned out. My dark colouring made me blend more into the night, only visible when the moonlight slipped through the breaks in the trees.
I came up to another group, choosing to go around them, running along the edge of the trail, the forest floor dipping down beside me.
As I passed, I saw movement from the corner of my eye, it was so unexpected I didn't have a chance to react. A brown wolf jumped at me, their size and strength outmatched mine, easily knocking me off balance and off the trail.
I yelp from the impact, falling to the ground on my side and then rolling down the bank. It was hard to stop my descent, catching on the rocks and fallen branches. When I finally came to a stop, my body was aching.
A low whine escaped me at both the pain and realisation of what had happened.
This proved I wasn't as welcomed here as I had hoped.
The beginning conversation between Rose and Lissa is honestly my favourite.
Hope you enjoyed :D
