This story has been getting some guest hate, I gotta say, move on mate. I wrote this story for myself, and I love being able to share it with you all, but this is how I want it to play out. It's a shame you aren't enjoying it but just move on. To everyone else, thank you for your kind reviews and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
This first part only has another five chapters. I am definitely taking a break from posting after the chapters are all up. I love writing but sometimes it does just get too much and I start to lose the enjoyment of writing.
I have a lot more stories that I want to write and hopefully share in the future.

Dimitri POV

"Again."

Rose lunged forward, fists connecting with the focus mitts that Ivan wore. I stood on the side and watched her form, smiling in approval at her improvement. It's only been four days and yet she has improved greatly. Alberta had said she was a quick study and now I had to agree. I could understand why everyone was so shocked when she didn't present as alpha.

The first three days we focused on her endurance and lower body, and now with her wrist fully healed, I was comfortable with her practising punching. She had a natural talent but it was trying to convince her that she did that was the real issue.

Constantly, she was second-guessing herself and holding back without realising. Though, there was a determination in her eyes, I wasn't sure what it was but I knew there was something on her mind—something scared her.

Ever since the pack run, she had become withdrawn again and stayed close to me. It wasn't as bad as last time but I would catch her checking around her with a concerned look.

I still haven't figured out who attacked her on the run, I had suspicions but no proof yet. It set me on edge to think of someone trying to hurt her. It would be easier to just announce Rose as my mate and as Luna. Wolves will do everything to defend their Luna, though I didn't know if their loyalty will overpower their prejudice of omegas.

At least I knew Rose was trusting me more. She had opened up to me that night about what was happening, not revealing everything, but it was a start.

We had grown closer, now sharing a bed every night, Rose sleeping in my shirt was an unexpected development, one I gladly welcomed. Seeing her in my clothes, practically lost in the material, was incredibly satisfying. And our scents were starting to mix, soon it won't be a requirement to tell anyone that we were mated, they will be able to smell it.

By the time her heat hits, the pack will be able to tell she was mine, just as I was hers.

I watched Rose advancing on Ivan, her speed picking up to a point that most betas would have an issue keeping up. She didn't miss a hit, her form maintained perfectly with each punch.

I nodded at Ivan, so he knew to change the pattern to keep her on her toes. After having her hit low, he held the mitt up high. Rose went for it, not paying attention to the rest of his body, missing when his leg swept under her.

Rose tumbled to the ground, letting out a groan of frustration. "What the hell was that?"

"Surprise attack," Ivan responded with a grin. Laughing, he offered her a hand up.

Rose stood, rolling her shoulders. "That was playing dirty."

"You are smaller than a lot of wolves, if you are in a fight then you need to be willing to play dirty sometimes," I explain, crossing to stand behind her, rubbing at her shoulders to work out the knots. I was careful to not brush over the bite mark, having discovered the other day the effect it had when I did.

We were lying in bed, Rose refusing to wake up and get ready. As I was brushing her hair back, my fingers grazed over the mark, moving over it multiple times. I didn't realise the effect it was having until I pressed against it and Rose had moaned.

We were both surprised. Part of me wanted to do it again, loving the sound I heard, but at the look of embarrassment on her face, I didn't want to push it. Before I could tell her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, Rose had all but ran from the bed and locked herself in the bathroom.

I didn't bring it up again after, not wanting to upset her.

I could feel her tensing under my hands at first, though when she realised I wasn't going near the crook of her neck, she relaxed. I ducked my head to kiss the top of her hair, "Did you want to take a break?"

She shook her head, covering my hand with hers and squeezing it. "No, I want to keep going."

I frowned but didn't argue. While I was worried about her still working through the withdrawals, I wasn't going to try to discourage her. If she believed she could keep going, I would trust her.

"Okay. Do it again."


I held the bottle to Rose, giving her a pointed look until she took it, drinking it all.

"You're doing good, just need to stop dropping your shoulder before you punch," I told her with a proud smile. "I think you should try sparring with some of the others."

Rose almost choked, coughing for a minute before looking up at me. "You mean at the gym?"

I recognised the look on her face, she got it whenever I would mention the gym in town. Even when working at City Hall, she would go out of her way to avoid it. I wasn't sure if it was because of her anxiety about fighting in front of others, or if the thing that had been on her mind could be at the gym. It must be a person, but who?

"Only if you want to."

"Why can't I just keep going up against you or Ivan?" She insisted.

"Because you need to train with others. Someone that you don't know the moves of." Rose was getting good at predicting our moves but still needed to learn how to retaliate in a way that can take us down.

She chewed on her lip in thought, tapping her fingers against the plastic of the bottle. "Would it be against betas?"

"To start with," I replied, "Maybe start with your friend Mason, and there is Ana as well. Then we can move up from there."

Rose smirked, "Oh yeah, Mason would love that."

My eyes narrowed, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes flicked to mine, putting her hand on my arm, "Don't worry, it's nothing. Just," She paused, scrunching up her nose, "I think Mason has a little crush on me."

"A crush?" I could feel jealousy stirring. I didn't like to take on the traits of an alpha being possessive but I also didn't like the idea of anyone trying to court my mate. "Has he made any advances towards you?"

She raised her eyebrows but gave me a comforting smile, "There's nothing to worry about. I promise. He hasn't said or done anything."

I glanced around us, making sure no one else was around before I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and pressing my face against her hair. While she was okay with being somewhat affectionate in front of Lissa and my family, Rose was still hesitant outside of the bedroom. My body was constantly pushing me to be touching her in one way or another, an almost desperate need to make sure she was okay.

"If he does anything that makes you uncomfortable you need to tell me," I told her.

"Like I said, Mason hasn't done anything."

I made a sound in the back of my throat, almost a growl, "If anyone tries anything –" I felt her body become tense. I pulled back to look her in the eye. "Has someone tried something? Roza, if –"

"Nothing has happened." Her voice was sharp, though her eyes didn't meet mine. She pulled out of my arms, "I need to shower."

My firsts clenched, taking everything in me to not follow after her and demand an answer. I didn't want to push her, wanting her to feel that she could tell me, but it was so difficult to keep waiting when I knew something was wrong.


xXx


Rose POV

My fingers tapped against the plastic of the chair. Surely, if they were going to keep patients waiting this long they should have better chairs to sit in. Something comfy, maybe one that reclines. Just anything would be more relaxing.

I didn't like doctors, even before the academy, I wasn't a fan. The academy doctors just made it so much worse, their condescending sneers and never listening to what I was saying. They would always look to the teacher for answers to their questions.

When I first came here on Monday, Dimitri waited outside. I had been expecting him to come in and the doctor to just speak to him, but instead, Dr Olendzki was kind and spoke to me like a normal person.

Still didn't make me like coming here.

"Rose, Dr Olendzki is ready for you now." The receptionist gave me a warm smile that I tried to return but it fell flat.

The building wasn't large, only four doctors working here. Werewolves rarely needed medical attention, and with this being a town of warriors, everyone was trained with first aid.

Walking down the main hallway from the waiting room, Dr Olendzki was standing beside her open door, waving me through. "Rose, how are you feeling today?"

I dipped my head in greeting, crossing the small room to the chair beside her desk. Another uncomfortable plastic one. "I'm fine."

"And your wrist?" She asked, she held her hand out in question. I lifted it up to her, chewing on the inside of my cheek as she pushed up my sleeve. I had given her the cliff notes version of what my scars were from.

Luckily, once I mentioned being in an academy she had understood.

After testing the motion of my wrist she released it with a smile. "It's healed nicely." She spun in her chair, reaching into a drawer and retrieving a box. "Sorry, they took so long to get here. You will still need to use protection for this heat but by the time the next one hits you will be fine."

I took the box from her, fiddling with it between my fingers.

"Do you need me to go over anything?"

I shook my head, having already sat through her explaining about the birth control she had ordered for me. She had to place an order to get omega specific birth control for me. Thankfully it was just taking a pill each day.

She eyed me for a moment. "Okay, just be sure to read over the side effects, I went through them on Monday but it's good to refresh your memory. If you have any questions just give me a call."

"Sure," I replied, already standing from my seat, shoving the box into the pocket of my jacket.

With a quick thank you, I was out of the office and down the hallway. It wasn't a long walk from the doctor's office to City Hall, so I had Dimitri drop me off on the way after arguing with him that I would be fine by myself. I welcomed the fresh air as I walked.

The pills were burning a hole in my pocket, just a constant reminder that my heat was approaching and I still had no idea what I wanted to do. Part of me didn't want it to be my first time with Dimitri but maybe it would be easier if it was, just rip the bandaid off. I wouldn't be as nervous if my heat was encouraging me.

The idea of being intimate with Dimitri made my heart beat faster every time, with shivers of anticipation. The pull to be near him was growing stronger each day, I just wanted to grab him and drag him into a dark corner to kiss him.

But each time I felt like doing something like that, a small voice in my head would tell me that I was acting like a needy omega. Jesse's voice would echo in my head. You're just an omega slut, nothing else.

I hadn't seen him since the night he threatened me, I've barely seen Viktoria either. I tried to talk to her but she ignored me and ran off. I knew the only way I could make her understand was to tell the truth, but who knows what else Jesse has been telling her.

At least, working at City Hall with Karolina, I didn't see either of them. I spent most of the day in her office going through paperwork that needed to be filled. Claims for building permits, budgets from the pack, and applications for wolves that wanted to join the pack.

It was amazing how many people wanted to live here, and then there were even more that wanted to train here. I had sat with Dimitri for an hour yesterday as he went through the applications with Alberta. Wolves all over the world were interested.

Occasionally, Dimitri would pass one of the applications to me for an opinion, it was easy enough to guess this was his way of introducing me to my duties as a Luna. Despite knowing that, it made me happy that he wanted to know my thoughts.

No matter how many times I see Dimitri being different to what I became used to at the academy, I was still so scared that he would judge me. The relationship I had with him has become so important to me that I couldn't bear the thought of him rejecting me.

I couldn't hide the Jesse thing forever, not with Viktoria at risk of getting hurt, but I wanted to enjoy what I had with Dimitri right now. Try to experience as much of it as I could before I lost it all.

Once he knows how weak I am… Dimitri won't want me.

I took the back way into City Hall so I didn't need to walk past the gym, they all trained there every weekday. Classes going on throughout the day, some inside, some out. There were too many people that I wanted to avoid that just tried to stay as far away as possible.

Not that I can avoid it for much longer.

Dimitri was determined for me to try sparring against others and I couldn't help but agree that it would be good. Practising against others helped test me against different styles of fighting and skill levels.

I was getting stronger. Hopefully next time, I can take care of Jesse myself, then deal with the consequences of attacking an alpha of a Royal family. Anything would be worth beating that smug look off his face.

Ducking into the office I was sharing with Karolina, she greeted me with a warm smile. "Good, you're back. Dimika wanted you to go through those and then bring them to him when you are done."

I raised my eyebrows and looked over at the large pile that was on my temporary desk. Dimitri seemed to be taking it very seriously when I joked about putting me to work. Flipping through the sheets I found them to be more applications for joining the pack.

I glanced at Karolina in disbelief, "He wants me to go through these?"

"Yep. Make a pile of who you think are good and then he'll do the rest."

I shook my head. "I can't decide these things."

Her laugh filled the room, sounding warm like Olena's. "Roza, you'll be fine. He trusts you'll make the right choices."

I ducked my head, dropping into my seat with a sigh. Dimitri may think I can do this but I did not agree.


Two hours later and I was only halfway through the pile, constantly second guessing myself. Looking between the two piles I had, the file in my hand hovering above them, undecided which one to place it in.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe –"

"What are you doing?"

I jumped, dropping the file to the table, clutching my heart while glaring at Christian. "Dammit, Sparky. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Lissa's showing me around," He shrugged, venturing in further until he was looking over my shoulder. "What's this?"

I dropped my chin to rest on my hand, grumbling, "Apparently, I get to choose who is good enough to live here."

He let out a low whistle, shaking his head. "And you were using eeny, meeny, miny, moe, to decide someone else's fate. Harsh."

"What's harsh?" Lissa's voice joined us, standing in the doorway with two cans of soft drink in hand.

"Rose is using eeny, meeny, miny, moe to choose who lives here," Christian explained with a smirk, turning back to me and giving me a disapproving look.

Lissa gasped, eyes wide. "Rose?"

"What? I was only doing it for one," I defended, "They're all starting to look the same and I don't know who to pick." I deflated in my chair, crossing my arms. "I shouldn't even be deciding this stuff."

"Well, this is a Luna's job."

"Who says I want to be Luna? Just put me on guard duty or something."

Christian laughed, "Like Alpha Belikov would do that."

I kicked out at him but he danced away until Lissa was between us. "What do you guys want anyway?"

Lissa's eyebrows raised, stepping forward to place a can on my desk. "I was showing Christian around and thought we would say hi. Maybe you should take a break?"

I frowned, eyes moving back to the piles before me. "No. I have to finish this."

"Why don't you ask for help?" She tried offering with a smile.

"Because," I replied in a sharp tone, "I'm doing this to pay Dimitri back. If I go to him and get him to do it then there's no point to me even being here. May as well just go wait at home and settle in for a life as a mate that is only useful being barefoot and pregnant!"

My chest was heaving after my little outburst, when I looked over at the other two, I found them both looking at me with shocked expressions.

Christian patted Lissa's shoulder, "This is all yours." With that, he turned and left the room. Lissa's expression shifted to concern, pulling a seat over so we were at eye level.

"What's going on? You've been acting really stressed lately."

I turned away from her caring eyes, hunching my shoulders as I slid down in the chair. "It's fine. I'm just tired or something." While my dreams had been tame since sleeping next to Dimitri, I was spending most of the night lying awake trying to figure out what I was going to do about Jesse.

"I know something is bothering you. We've all noticed it."

"Yeah, well, unnotice it. It's nothing." I felt bad for the way I was talking to her but I felt all over the place these last couple of days. The withdrawals were still messing with me, and I was stressed over Jesse and my feelings for Dimitri. All of it kept combining and churning inside me until I felt like I was going to scream. The only way I have been able to work through some of it has been the training sessions I've been doing.

"Rose –"

"I have to finish these," I cut her off, shifting in my chair until I was leaning over the desk, putting all my focus onto the pages before me rather than on the hurt look that I knew was on my best friend's face.

After a minute, Lissa rose, mentioning seeing me later and left. I kept clenching and unclenching my hands as guilt built in me, adding to everything else. After all this time of wishing I had my friend to talk to, and now I do, I was pushing her away.

I swear everything I did these days felt like one step forward, two steps back.


It was late afternoon when Dimitri came to find me, knocking on the door just as I placed the last file in a pile. I had to go through them twice to make sure I didn't miss anything, comparing them with other applications that had been accepted previously. A lot were families that were wanting to get away from Court or from smaller packs to have more opportunities, or for their kids to learn how to fight. I found myself relating to some of the solo applicants that just wanted to have a change.

I did notice that none of the applications mentioned any omegas, all alpha or beta. One family said they had one child at the academy and I could already guess what they presented as. I put their file right into the denied pile.

My mood was pretty low as Dimitri approached me. "Got through them all?"

I nodded, pushing a pile towards him. "I think these are okay but you should double-check them." He shook his head as he skimmed the top one.

"I trust you."

I turned and rolled my eyes, picking up my jacket and making sure the pills were in there before pulling it on. "Whatever. Time to go home?"

"I thought we might try some sparring at the gym first."

I spun around to face him, hands on my hips. "Why?

"Because it's good for your training," He replied in a matter of fact voice. With his focus still on the files, he didn't see my scowl.

"I'm not really dressed for sparring, so no."

"If you want to get better you need to be willing to train there."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious coach but I'm not going there right now." I walked past him, ignoring the part of me that was saying talking to Dimitri like this was wrong.

I heard Dimitri's footsteps trailing after me, "Rose, I'm just saying –"

"I know what you're saying, and I'm saying back off!" I stormed through the hallway, only stopping when I reached the front entrance where the car was parked. Turning to face him. "Now are we going home or am I walking?"

He frowned, expression becoming resigned as he pushed open the door. "Let's go."

I gave him a curt nod and then marched to the side of the car, climbing in and slamming the door. I crossed my arms, facing out the window for the whole drive. Dimitri didn't say anything until we were in the driveway.

"Rose, talk to me."

"Maybe you should say something worth talking about."

I heard him take a long breath. "What's wrong?"

I covered my face with my hands, groaning, "God, why won't you and everyone else stop asking me that."

"Because you won't tell us what's bothering you." He pleaded in a soft voice, "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

I shot him a look, "I don't need your help. I can deal with this on my own."

"But you don't have to," He grounded out, his temper starting to rise. Rather than scare me, it only agitated me more. We pulled up outside the garage, he turned off the car as he faced me.

I avoided his eyes. "Why can't you just drop it. I have a problem, I'll deal with it on my own."

His hands were wrapped around the steering wheel, clenching until his knuckles were white. "Why?"

"Why does it matter to you so much!"

"Because you're my mate and I love you! When you are having problems it matters to me!"

I opened my mouth to yell back at him but then his words registered. My jaw clamped close as I stared at him in surprise. Ever since the night he said it thinking I was asleep, he hadn't mentioned it.

I definitely didn't expect him to yell it at me when arguing, and I don't think he did either.

"I mean…" He swallowed looking shocked, and then his eyes hardened, becoming determined. "No, I mean that. I love you, Roza. I love you so much but you won't let me help."

My body was frozen. I couldn't open my mouth to make words come out, and my eyes refused to move from his. Dimitri just admitted he loved me, three times.

The longer the silence stretched between us, the more obvious it was becoming that he was expecting a response.

Only I didn't have one.

Finally, I made my mouth move, "I…"

Jesse leant in close, pressing kisses to my neck, "I love you, Rose. Don't you want to show me how much you love me, too?"

I stiffened at the memory. Suddenly the car felt too small, encasing me in with no way to get out. My hands shook as I scrambled to pull the door handle, forcing the door open and practically tumbling out. I took a deep breath once I was out in the open, turning back to face Dimitri. "I'm sorry… I…" My arms wrapped around me tightly, as if I could protect myself from the memories that were coming to the surface.

I was stupid back then, so desperate to not be abandoned again.

"Rose," Dimitri spoke beside me. I jerked back, not realising he had left the car. His expression was drawn, pained by my reaction. "I'm sorry."

I quickly shook my head. "No… It's me. I'm…I'm broken. I'm not worth all of this."

"Yes, you are," He told me earnestly. When I continued to shake my head, Dimitri pulled me close to him. At first, I struggled, but then I caught his scent and started to relax into it.

I was gasping for air, near hyperventilating. Unwinding my arms from around me, I grasped at Dimitri, holding on tightly until I stopped shaking. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

Shushing me softly, he rubbed my back in soothing circles. "Don't apologise. You didn't do anything wrong, Roza."

Despite his words, I knew I did. It was all my fault. I kept hurting the one man that seemed to truly care for me, and I dreaded that he wouldn't keep putting up with it.