eggdue was a normal guy. he liked his life, sure, he had an egg for a head, no eyes, but eyebrows, and a crack for a mouth, he was lanky 7FT tall menace to society, the only normal thing about him was his bright blue reflective suit. currently, the man was in the theatre he and his buddy, Garvey had bought, it was quite a deal, he would say, sure, the place was in horrible Nic, but they fixed it right up.
now, only one, Teenysy-wensy problem. they had transported it to the anti-void, ED's(im not gonna write eggdue every time, it's tiering.) home. a white endless void that would make any sane bitch mad. not ED, the clown was far too gone already.
ED was resting his head at the desk near the screen, it had a swivel chair, a PC set up, and an old rotary phone. and he had just completed the newest contract mission on Madness: project nexus arena mode, which you should REALLY buy, trust me, just- just do it GO RIGHT NOW, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE-
ED sighed. "man, i should really get on that comic dub i promised my Tumblr followers.." he spoke out loud. and it's true, he, really should get on that thing, just take the plunge, man, it won't kill you.
suddenly, the phone rang, ED growled. "son of-a sin- WHO THE HELL IS IT!" he cried, before picking up the phone. "Anti-void theatre, eggdue speak'n." he said with a monotone voice. "hey, Jack!" Jack sighed. "at least you're using my fake name, anywho, what's up, Garvey? wtacha need?" Garvey chuckled nervously. "so, i found out that you just came back to and Ao3! so, im gonna help boost you're traffic." Jack narrowed his eyebrows in suspicion, not his eyes cus he doesn't fuCKING HAVE ANY-
"how would you do that, Garvey dunta?" the eggheaded man(clown) could hear Garvey's smirk. "what better fic to do, then a reaction fic! of RWBY!" jack suddenly felt horror. "no, nonononononon NO! WHAT THE FUCK DUNTA! WHAT, THE, F U C K, OHH YOU GODDAMN- GRH- HRGAHGJHGAHJGSHUBD!" he cried stomping around in his space. "I CAN'T BITCH! i already have plans for a convenient portal indeed! that OTHER RWBY FIC?" he yelled into the receiver.
Jack slid back on his chair, taking a deep breath before raising the phone back. "and 'sides, it's too cliche' so, no." Garvey was quiet for a moment. "well fuck, guess i shouldn't have done what i just did then, huh, he heh he..." Jack's mouth twitched. "what, did, you, do." Garvey sighed. "i- i sent a few of the cast there already.. they should be there in a second."
jack looked away. "ja-ack?" Garvey asked. the egghead slammed the phone back onto the dial platform, ending the call. he fell into his chair, put his head on the table and just shook. a loud whoosh then happened and multiple cry's of voices. jack just sighed more.
once the voices settled down, one piped up. "uh, hello, s-sir." jack raised his head to the open area to see Ruby rose look timid and at him. Teams RWBY and JNPR behind her. "sir, where-" Jack stood and sighed, walking from behind his desk. "currently, you all are in my theater." they nodded, and Ruby opened her moth to ask another question, the man beat her to it. "how? you can 'Thank' my Busenius partner, Garvey, for getting you here, look, i hate this too. i just want to sleep."
Yang narrowed her eyes. "so, how do we get back, egg head." jack glared at her. "don't call me that, pal. and just- " he sighed. Just take that door over there." he gestured to a door to the right. "there's a fifty fifty shot of you either going into the endless hell-scape know as the red void, or back to your universe." he walked over, and made a 'get over here' motion, the group of eight came close. "alright. you dumbos ready to get outa here?" many looked offended. but didn't want to piss off the guy who was sending them home.
Jack opened the door to the red voice. red mist floated by, endless screams came from the void, and in place of tress were red muscley tentacles writhed. the RWBY cast looked horrified, and Jaune looked like he would vomit. Jack slammed the door shut. "second times the charm." he spoke like this happened every day. he opened it again, and there was beacon academy.
Jack sighed. "good, it worked." he turned to the cast. "now yall ready to go home?" before they could respond he face-palmed. "OfCourse you all do, stupid jack.." he sighed, removing his hand from his face. "well, just walk through and you'll be home."
the cast then walked into the door. some saying thanks or bye, but they were gone. jack shut the door and sighed. "that went well, now.." he glanced at the corner to find an old magnum. He picked it up, and spun the drum, loading its bullets in. "time to go and find Garvey."
this idea popped into my head yesterday, thought i'd write it, next Chapter of a convenient portal indeed should be out by next week. have a good day, pallios!
